kendalljane21

[kendalljane21]

㋡🥀

[kendalljane21]

Couple goals.

[kendalljane21]

[kendalljane21]

self portrait by thinloth

[kendalljane21]

Time doesn’t feel the same anymore.

[kendalljane21]

spell jar for grounding and security 🪵🍃

this jar helps to quell emotional turmoil or stressors and help provide a sense of safety <3 its great to keep on your nightstand and i love holding it tight in my hands up to my chest or forehead when i’m overwhelmed :’)

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what you’ll need;

nutmeg

oregano

chamomile

thyme

tree bark; it’s best to get it from a tree on your property (or an actual safe space if home isn’t a place of comfort for you) any is fine ofc!

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nutmeg has always has such grounding and comforting energy for me so it felt like the perfect base for this little jar

oregano brings in a sense of comfort and healing, and the chamomile was introduced for obvious reasons

the thyme has similar use as the oregano with more of the healing and calming properties that i find similar to chamomile, i love how these two herbs work together <3

topping it off with some tree bark to lock in a sense of security and add a personal touch, bark is also really great for grounding!!

[kendalljane21]

[kendalljane21]

Full Moon by Rami Ammoun.

[kendalljane21]

Have you ever gone on a drive and seen some old houses? I love imagining what some of those places look like on the inside. Are they well taken care of, maybe renovated, or falling apart? Do their rough exteriors hide cozy, inviting interiors? How many different lives have broken it in? How many moments of joy, misery, and all the little things in between have happened inside those walls?

A brand new house just doesn’t inspire the same feeling. A beautiful exterior is nice, but all too often those homes are just a little too staged inside. The pillows are perfectly placed, the countertops gleaming, and the furniture spotless – but it doesn’t feel like a lot of life is happening in there.

So often we judge other people and their lives by how they look from the outside. And how we think our own lives are perceived by others has a huge impact on how good we feel about them..

Not having kids. Having a bunch of kids. Going back to school in your late 20s – or 30s, or 50s, or 70s! Living with friends or family. Living alone and secluded. Travelling a ton. Not travelling at all. Making no money...making more money than you ever dreamed. Doing something you love. Doing something you can’t stand.

This idea goes both ways. We all want our lives to feel amazing – for the things we do every day (or at least most days) are fulfilling, inspiring, and feel like part of something bigger than us. When you’re living a life that feels great, you’re happy, you’re surrounded by happy people, and you know that you’re living the right life for you – or at least working to build it.

But you could also be wildly unhappy with how your life feels on a day to day basis: whether it’s your work, relationships, where you live – really anything – but your life could look fantastic.

I definitely fell into the latter category for a long time. I was living the “perfect life” with my “perfect family” in a beautiful new built we designed ourselves, We took some really awesome trips a few times a year, and had a wide-ranging group of friends that i went out on the town with quiet regularly. I worked when I wanted and loved my job. My life looked great.

But my relationship was making me miserable, anxious, and draining me of all my mental energy: I did nothing except veg out in front of the tv every night, and occasionally go too hard on weekends. My marriage was on very rocky ground, we were putting no time or effort into our relationship, The cost of our house was bleeding us dry, and the noise pollution and general busyness inside my head meant I was barely sleeping.

The weeks leading up to every trip, or special event I would be an absolute mess, trying to make sure it was ‘perfect’ , and try to scrape together the cash to pay for it. I had to make it perfect for myself and to please other people. My relationship became incredibly surface level, Our friends and family saw none of this – and we kept everyone at arm's length. It was easy.

But I was miserable and barely keeping my shit together, but on the outside our lives looked pretty fantastic. I was ticking all the right boxes for a so-called ‘good life’ – why were i so unhappy day to day?

It took a lot of inner work to realize that so many of the ‘right’ things just weren’t right for us. That just because something is good on paper, or what’s expected from us by society, friends or family, or even ourselves, doesn’t mean doing it is going to bring us happiness. And continuing to make big life decisions based on what we ‘should’ have been doing just drove us further into the hole we had voluntarily placed ourselves inside. And let me tell you – digging yourself out of that hole is hard. Hard, but so, so worth it.

Life today looks a lot different for me. Im not married anymore, I’m not feeling obligated to stay with someone that I once loved. I found a man to live my life with, a man who by society may judge due to an age gap, but I don’t care! We bought a shitty old house to do up together in a suburb that is often frowned upon. My income is made from jobs without fancy titles or crazy high salaries. I buy a lot less, and see a friends when I can. By no outward metric are we killing it in the mainstream sense of the word. There’s exactly zero ‘hustle’ going on here.

But we’re thriving. My work situation means i can study again and we can spend our days immersed in things we really care about. We can work on side projects or businesses without focusing on immediately financially profiting from them. We can go outside without feeling overwhelmed or claustrophobic, and we live just a few minutes’ drive from good coffee and beautiful beaches. We have a few, incredibly close friends that we can talk about anything and everything with, and time spent with them is energizing and inspiring. We’re happy, my new relationship is stronger than ever, and the things we do together are so much more fulfilling and affirming.

My life isn’t perfect or inspiring from the outside – but it feels fucking incredible. And now that we know what actually makes us happy, what actually makes me feel fulfilled and content and like ive contributed something to the world at the end of each day, we can just run with it – making little changes and tweaks and adjustments as we go.

And I know it’s not easy – sometimes half the battle to feeling good about your own decisions and life is letting go of how they might be perceived by other people. Like those old houses, some people will just see imperfect exteriors and not give them a second glance. Others will seek out the brand new, perfect exteriors only to be disappointed with what’s on the inside.

There are still some days where my perfectionism tendencies rear their heads and I struggle with things not looking perfect from the outside. But those moments are fleeting now. And all it takes is a walk outside, a morning spent reading before diving into work I care about, or a deep, meaningful conversation with a loved one to remind me that this is what it’s all about.

K. X

[kendalljane21]

If you woke up late, your morning didn't go well, something unexpected happened at the beginning of the day and you are now sad and worried your day will be wasted, don’t worry. Take a deep breath and start with where you left off. You can always start at any point of the day. You can start getting your life together at 5PM in case you were too tired and sleeping all day long. Please don't give a bad 20 minutes or so of an incident the power to dictate the rest of the day. You dictate the energy you want. Start wherever you want. Rest when you need to. You got this ♡

K x

[kendalljane21]

Full Pink Moon in Scorpio by Rami Ammoun (Apr. 2021)

[kendalljane21]

Il fiore dell’estate 🌻(Tuscany, Italy) | maxlazzi

[kendalljane21]

[kendalljane21]

“A world without caring is terrible.”