kayrenim

[kayrenim]

You have your desire. You’ve declared it, you’ve done the vision board, you’ve scripted, you’ve day dreamed, but my question today is - who are you showing up as? What actions are you actually taking that align you with your dreams? Are you expecting your desires to fall into your lap? Are you becoming the woman who is in alignment with her desires ? Are you living and breathing from a place that honours what you are asking to receive ?

If not, time to get out of your head, out for your vision board, out of of wishing and wanting and start moving today in a way that honours who and what you want. No more videos on how to manifest - you’ve already declared it now it’s time to live, breath and show up in alignment with your dreams.

[kayrenim]

If you’re not moving your body, seriously what the fuck are you doing? You were never made to be a cabbage on the sofa scrolling through your phone 2/47. Your energy needs to flow, it needs to move and this shouldn’t feel like a task, this should feel like a privilege, a priority, an honour. To be flexible, to be healthy, to be radiant….why would you ever want to deprive yourself, your body of energy flowing through you? Why would you ever want to be stagnant when you can be loose and free? All that trauma stored in your hips needs to be released, and working at your desk all day means you need to prioritise your movement and flow on a deeper level. This is not about looking a certain way, its about tapping into the divine feminine flow and allowing the energy to move through your body so you can show up as your most radiant version. Free your stagnant energy, prioritise movement, exercise, dance, and embrace bodily freedom over stagnation. 

[kayrenim]

may June bring you...

miraculous opportunities

financial abundance

healing your inner child

honoring your true self

honoring your soul mission

embracing the soft life

regulated nervous system

healthy routines

beautiful moments with friends

feeling peaceful and anchored deeply within yourself

[kayrenim]

learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆

indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”

since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.

we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.

remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, or anxiety. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.

how to be indifferent:

be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d

accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self

trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”

know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?

hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d

stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere

“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng

“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd

before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*

after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*

so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation

your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self

kisses, jani ☆

[kayrenim]

Found something useful while scrolling tiktok. Credits to the creator(High vibe baddie) . Living in the end to make manifesting easier.

[kayrenim]

THE RECCOMENDATION MASTERPOST

a) Books

[Psychology/mental health]

The Body Keeps Score

Why Did I Do That?

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

[Productivity, mindset, growth]

Atomic habits

101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think

Ten Arguements For Deleting Your Social Media Right Now

The mountain Is You

Mastery

12 rules to Life (the J. Peterson one?)

Art of Everyday Assertiveness: Speak Up. Set Boundaries. Say No. Take Back Control. Get What You Want.

[Networking, Social Navigation, Power]

48 laws of power

The Laws of Human Nature

How To Win Friends and Influence People

[Money, Finance, Business]

Literally everything by Robert Kiyosaki (I swear by him)

The Intelligent Investor

Never Split The Difference

The Four Hour Workweek

How Finance Works: The HBR Guide to Thinking Smart about the Numbers

[Womanhood]

The Second Sex

Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free

Woman Code

Come As You Are

b) YouTube Channels

Patrick Teahan LICSW

Petite Dressing

Andrew Huberman [or Insights Lab]

The Rich Dad Channel

Dr Eric Berg

Dr Tracey Marks

c) Netflix Shows

Mind Your Manners

The Principles of Pleasure

Get Smart With Money

Inventing Anna (hehe)

Website

[kayrenim]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐥𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬

Change your state, change your life...

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎… ⋙

Lately, there has been a lot of confusion surrounding the recent discussion of states of consciousness. Here, I'm going to clear this up as much as I can.

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬

[...] the state of consciousness to which you most constantly return is the place you really dwell . . that habitual state from which you view the world. (Catch the Mood)

States, in the simplest terms possible, are mindsets. You change your state all the time, simply by focusing on certain stories, assumptions, outcomes, etc. When you're entertaining a daydream, you are occupying that state that matches whatever you are entertaining in your imagination. When you are focusing on the worst-case scenario, you are entertaining the state in which that scenario is a possibility.

You change states consciously and unconsciously. The key to manifesting is to occupy the state of the wish fulfilled and persist in it. You can either allow the 3D to determine your state of consciousness, or you can take back your power and choose the state from which you desire to experience the world.

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞

Well, shut out the world and go within and appropriate that state. And from within, you let your friends see you, as they would have to see you if what now you are assuming that you are is really true. (Catch the Mood)

To change your state consciously, you must intend to occupy the state you desire to be in. If you want to be in a state of confidence, the state of a master manifestor, or the state of the person with everything they want, then you must intend to occupy that state. I promise it is much simpler than it feels right now.

However, if you have trouble intending, you can always use methods to help you achieve that state. Methods do not have the power to manifest, you do. They simply help you get into the state of the wish fulfilled, which will then result in you physically manifesting your desire. Methods help you feel your desire is real. For example, affirmations help to remind you of the truth of your desire, scripting helps you get to the details on paper, and visualizing helps you feel as if you're physically in the scene of the wish fulfilled.

All right, what state would that be if it were true? I conceive a state that, if it were true, that would make all my wishes come true. I go into that state. Now, the first time I enter the state and view the world from it, it is wonderful, but I may never reenter that state. Therefore, it is not my home. I want to make that state my perpetual home, so I automatically dwell in that state, and if I dwell in it so that automatically I am in that state, it becomes my dwelling place. (Catch the Mood)

The state of the wish fulfilled is a topic of much confusion for some. It is a simple concept, but it is overcomplicated by overthinking. Simply accept that your desire is yours. Have faith that by assuming your desire is already yours, it will come to be. Trust that by experiencing your desires in the 4D, they will be physically manifested in your 3D. Feel like the person that has what you want. That is how you reach that state.

So, you get yourself to the state of the wish fulfilled for a moment, but then you get back to your 3D life and it fades away because your attention has been redirected once again. All you must do in this situation is to return to the wish fulfilled. You have already felt the state, so you may know how to intend it to come forward within you with more ease. However, if you cannot, you can always repeat your method or try a new one to get back into the state until it feels natural.

In other words, persist until the state of the wish fulfilled is your natural state.

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟

We look upon the world as, I would say, a manifestation of consciousness; and the whole vast conditions of men but revelations of individual states of consciousness. (The Power of Awareness)

The world is you pushed out. You experience and see the world from the point of view of the state of consciousness you dwell in. You can learn a lot about yourself by observing the world around you (how people act towards you, how situations play out, and the circumstances that perpetuate in your life). If there are undesirable repeating patterns showing themself in your life, they are a result of your state of consciousness.

Now, this doesn't mean that what happens to you is your fault. Unconscious manifestation will always exist. I mean think about it, we breathe unconsciously, and while with awareness we can breathe consciously, we never stop breathing unconsciously. Your circumstances are not your fault, but they are your responsibility to change (if you wish to), since they stem from your own consciousness.

Finding out that everything you experience is coming from your consciousness can be daunting, but I like to think about it from the idea that if it is my doing, it can be my undoing. If it is stemming from me, that means only I have the power to change it, which is incredibly empowering.

𝘚𝘰, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴. 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘴.

[kayrenim]

I AM ABSOLUTE

there is a stark difference between manifestation as identifying a desire and wanting to get it and manifestation as identifying a desire with a deep knowing that it is done, as you already possessing whatever it is that you desire.

it’s acknowledging and accepting that your desire is yours. it always will be and always has been.

the moment you think of a desire, it is yours, or rather, it’s yours because there is a version of you that exists with that desire (4d/imagination) and that’s the reason why you even think of the desire in the first place…because it already was there even before you identified it as a personal desire. it already belonged to you before you even knew you wanted it, whatever the desire may be.

it is already done. your desires are yours and you have them simply because you thought/said so. fulfill yourself in the 4d, in imagination as it’s the only reality.

it is already done. there is nothing to think about. all that’s left is for you to just BE. that’s all.

your desires will never run away, they will never pass you by because by law, they are yours. rightfully, your desires belong to you and you only, that’s the only reason why you have your desires because they are yours.

the version of you that has your desires is not thinking about how to get them. identify with that version of yourself. be that you that has all that you desire (because you are). the you that has your desires isn’t scrolling on this app worrying about getting something they already have. you already have your desires and you’re just being. being one with your desires, not separate from them.

you cannot have something and want it at the same time.

YOU DECIDE.

IT. IS. DONE.

[kayrenim]

The Reason Why You Are Limitless

Disclaimer: I'm releasing an old banger but a revised version as my perception has changed!These are just my personal beliefs, and it is completely open ended just like everything else. If you are searching for a “logical” answer this post isn’t for you, this post is for the shifting and manifesting baddies that are open minded to the “impossible” being possible. If you struggle with disassociation this post might not be for you.

We are constantly being told in the manifestation and reality shifting community that we are completely limitless. However, what does that mean exactly? EVERYTHING is made out of energy: our thoughts, emotions, physical bodies, nature, “physical objects,” etc at its ultimate core. Ultimately, we are pure consciousness not attached to any reality. We are the Multiverse experiencing itself. This is why manifestors say that consciousness is the only real reality, and when we enter the “void state” it’s already within us. The void state is just pure consciousness. We are simply entering our truest state of being where we always shift and manifest instantly, where negative thoughts, doubts, feelings, etc don’t exist because this isn’t our natural state of being. We are all “connected” to this energy, because we are all made out of the same energy that makes up the entire Multiverse: spirits, gods, deities, entities, yourselves, physical objects, animals, plants, planets, realities, dimensions, realms, and down to your thoughts. We are everything, everywhere, all at once. Everyone across the entire Multiverse shares a collective consciousness of “I AM” as we are all made up of the same energy. We are all One. I don’t say this to freak anyone out, this should be empowering to know that you have full control of your reality. You can be anything and anywhere right now no matter what. You can do anything and change anything instantly no matter what because time isn't real.

As pure consciousness who are the creators of our realities we have complete and ultimate freewill, so that you have the freewill to create your own beliefs and assumptions. There is no such thing as right or wrong, black or white, everything is grey including what you assume is true or not true. The only real reality is your imagination/consciousness/awareness, because everything is energy. The Multiverse is a paradox, everything and nothing exists at the same time because it all comes down to your dictation as to what is real and isn’t real in your reality. Everything that you can possibly imagine and desire already exists within you, as you are limitless and completely infinite. Nothing is impossible for you. Time is an illusion, and it doesn’t exist so in your imagination where the energy is at its rawest form you already have all of your desires (aka consciousness).

There are no laws of physics that dictate your reality, the concept of the laws of physics is simply your current awareness of reality, which can be easily changed as long as your awareness changes. You are all limitless and you can bend and change the laws of physics/the physical reality with your own assumptions. For example, you assume that you have the ability to fly, as long as you keep assuming that you can fly then your physical reality will transform that. ANYTHING is possible, you create your own rules down to the laws of physics of what is and isn’t possible in your realm of awareness of reality, which can differ for anyone else. Everything that you were taught: spirituality, religion, science, and witchcraft are simply real because you assume that they are real as you were taught since birth to accept certain things as “hardcore truths” when “hardcore truths” is simply an illusion. There are no such things as “ultimate truths” except the ones that you create within your own awareness of reality. This is why “fictional” realities exist, because they simply have a different awareness of reality/“laws of physics” than we do, which can easily be changed. For example, have you ever wondered why some people experience paranormal experiences and others don’t? While they may be real to you in your reality, may be unreal to others in their reality, and both are correct because it is your assumptions that dictates reality. In terms with death, spirits, gods, entities, the astral realm/concept of afterlife, laws of spirituality such as karma, reincarnation, etc-everything boils down to your assumptions as well. These energies are very real only if you perceive it to be real, but if you do not believe in them then they won’t exist in your reality because they will simply not abide by your personal laws of physics. Don’t limit yourself: you can manifest immortality, your desired reality, teleportation, manifesting instantly, time travel, time manipulation, whether you can fly or not, “fictional” characters shifting to your reality, etc as your “core” laws of reality, or lack of. It’s up to you.

Therefore, you completely create your rules to manifest, and how you manifest. Do you shift every time you manifest anything no matter what or simply manipulate the 3D? Up to you to decide, you are correct no matter what because this is your reality. "You" as pure consciousness is where your imagination, desires, assumptions, beliefs and thoughts reside and you already have your all you desires simultaneously because time is not real is the only place you should focus. The physical reality is simply an illusion, and is easily malleable and customisable. It can be changed and manipulated instantly so you can also always change your “laws” on how your reality works whenever you want to. Imagination is your only real reality, where creation is finished it is done. You are never creating anything you are simply being the person who already has your desire/are in your DR. It already exists within you as consciousness being the only real reality. Therefore, the concept of “fiction” and “impossible” isn’t real because what you deem as “fictional worlds” that are created already exist if you assume so. We have just been taught of certain things as “hardcore truths” within this perception of reality, which is completely false and can be changed instantly if we really wanted to. Every single little thing that you think of, desire, etc already exists in the imagination the only real reality right now. Essentially you are limitless you can be anything and anywhere no matter what because you already are that thing right now, no matter what it is. You just need to change your assumption to accepting it.

It should be noted that you do not need to enter the void state to be limitless. All you need to do is accept your true state that you are pure consciousness not attached to any reality or perception of reality, the void is already within you right now. You are the true, ultimate creator /God of your reality, you can even dictate your own “laws of physics” within your reality and what is “true” or “not true.” When you accept that you are more than just your physical body, you open a whole new world of possibilities you deemed “impossible.” You may ask yourself: If it’s the ultimate law that the physical reality must conform to the consciousness that I am (my desires) instantly no matter what then why doesn’t it happen? Whose to say that you can’t just blink right now and be in your DR or have your desired manifestation no matter what right now? Or that you can see the physical change before your eyes to fit your desires or DR? All of this is possible, the problem is that we have grown up in this current awareness of reality to overcomplicate and overthink everything. We think that we need to “believe,” “let go,” “feel happy,” etc. Also, let’s be honest subconsciously we also expect the physical reality to take “time” because we have been taught that we have to “wait” and “work hard” to get everything we want and put “limitations” to our desires. What you need to do is begin to assume that your physical reality instantly conforms to your desires before your eyes no matter what-you don’t need to believe, feel happy, let go, etc. Everything is energy, all you need to do is manipulate this energy by assume what you desire, and make it a dominant assumption. Your dominant assumptions (the energy you put mostly in) always create your reality. Don’t overcomplicate anything just keep assuming in your favour to manifest, shift, create your own laws of physics, etc because your imagination/consciousness already knows every single detail of what you desire since it already exists within you right now.

[kayrenim]

i dont wait, i dont desire, i dont want, i dont wish, i only am.

i am consciousness. i do not have desires. i only observe without judgement. ego desires and craves for validation.

i am validation. i am power. i am everything.

i imagine and there it is experienced instantly. i know i am the source and therefore everything. i am what ego desires.

i am whatever ego wants the moment i become aware of it, then it exists instantly.

imagination = consciousness = me = limitless = perfection

i am.

realize that the illusionary 3d that ego thinks is real is like a grain of sand compared to your true identity, consciousness. consciousness = the ocean and the 3d = a grain of sand.

you are so much bigger than the 3d and ego and the human body bc you are everything. everything = consciousness. the 3d and ego are just forms of you (consciousness) so while ego searches for shit in the 3d, its just ego searching for more of consciousness which doesnt make any sense. forms of consciousness searches and waits for another form of consciousness…(?)

a limitless being that limits themselves to a form of them which is also unreal is just… goofy. realize your true nature and accept that you are the power and you are not the human body or the ego’s thoughts etc.

dont wait, dont desire, dont want, dont wish, just be. bc you are always being whatever you are aware of.

be ego’s desire by observing it in imagination and know that its “yours” (or ego’s) instantly. have fun with the game. consciousness plays the role of a human being to realize itself and to have fun with this “life”. be whatever ego desires and know that a false and unreal 3d is no where near ur true power.

everything is already imagination so a “3d” = imagination. and imagination = you (consciousness). dont limit yourself to what you already are. dont wait or search in that unreal false and unseparated “reality”.

imagine and know its done instantly bc you just experienced it… bc you just are it.

@etherealkissed88

[kayrenim]

I AM + LIVING IN THE END CHALLENGE

: ★ before we begin, no — this isn’t about the void state, something similar, but without you having to enter the void… Sounds cool right? — has it worked for me? hell yeah, it’s basically living in the end!

what is it fleur, is it a mix between the "I AM" state & living in the end technique?

you're right, it's a great challenge that has worked wonders for me, and i'm sure you'll love it.

let's start! ↓

i challenge you, to live in the end for three days, no procrastination, no doubts, no nothing, simply knowing you have your desires already, because you do.

not seeking for your desires, not ‘trying’ to get your desires, not wishing for you to get your desires, simply living in the end.

you’re going to write on a piece of paper / notes app | a list of your desires, and your deadline to get them is three days from now.

you’re not going to try any techniques or any methods, on these three days.

you’re going to be embodying the version of yourself who has their desires, you’re going to act & think like her/him/them

you’re not going to change the date you’ve established, nor you’re going to doubt that date.

+ on these 3 days, you’re going to take 10 minutes to close your eyes and affirm “I AM” while envisioning yourself with your desires and dwelling in that feeling, you’re going to repeat this scene 2x every day, just 10 minutes of seeing your desired version of yourself, and you’re going to select that state and continue your day knowing that you’re already IN that state, no matter what the 3D is showing you, because mentally you’re there, and that’s all that matters, while you are affirming “I AM” envision the version of yourself you’ve selected with a bright white light surrounding you.

: ★ Fleur, is it going to happen exactly in three days?

i’ll assure you that even on the first day you’ll already have everything (even though you do already 🧘🏻‍♀️) it’s all about how much you persist and believe that it’ll happen.

— this challenge was entirely inspired in neville’s books, i do not own these methods, this challenge is simply for you guys to live in the end and stop over complicating your power, i truly hope you guys love & try it, please leave your success stories in my inbox, it has given me insane results in less than two days, x.

[kayrenim]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Bringing this master piece back into the Loa community !!

( Full credits to solar subs for this amazing Guide )

This is downloadable and can be saved on drive for you to read anytime<33

This guide was created by solar for the Loa community to grasp the concept of manifesting better. This Guide has everything you need and could need, literally loves. From the basics of loa, and what are mental diets and how to do it effectively also how affirm and Persist correctly to manifest Instantly♡. If I could look back at my Loa journey this is what helped me the most , honestly. I stopped over consuming and started applying and I read this every time when I needed guidance.

My fav parts of the guide :

( Note the guide is 25 pages long , this is just my favourite parts <33 )

❥ Have fun reading my love's

*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ೃ༄**ೃ༄*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩

[kayrenim]

This post literally brought tears in my eyes and made so much click for me ❤️‍🩹

if you're struggling with manifesting rn, please give this a read. you deserve some peace 🫂

[kayrenim]

skills that will never stop serving you☆ . °🪷

the ability to sell/negotiate

listening and learning from others

ability to speak in front of people

staying positive/optimistic

persisting and continuing to try regardless of failure

understanding other people’s feelings

ability to say no

making smart decisions that have a high ROI (return on investment)

managing ur own time and money

how to adapt, improvise, and overcome struggles and obstacles

asking for help

conveying what u think and feel

staying consistent (discipline)

[kayrenim]

HOTNESS 102; HOW TO BE INTERESTING

1. Knowledge

You must have at least a superficial level knowledge of as many topics as possible. Nothing worse than someone that can not contribute to a conversation. You do not have to dominate the table but ma'am read the headlines and diversify your literary genre (and film) and listen to as many people as you can. There are topics that are 'household topics', say, politics, celebrity gossip (not recommended, like who are you hanging with lol) , economy, gender politics, religion, sports, fashion and beauty, technology, philosophy etc. More often than not these topics surface in every conversation depending on who is on your table. Customize accordingly.

2. Breadcrumb

Interest is rooted in mystery, and mystery is amplified by breadcrumbing. Learn to tell people as little as possible, but in a way that's social and welcoming, no one wants to socialize with a clod hearted i-dont-like-people person. Learn to give vague answers and keep most of the real stuff to yourself, the less people know about you the more interesting you are.

3. Be attractive (?)

I'd like to explain this but we all know we like pretty people.

When I say attractive I don't mean conventionally pretty , I mean well groomed and well kept. I'll take one for the team and let you know the only people moved by conventional attractiveness are high school boys, your pretty privilege dies at the door, but at least it gets you in. Play with make up and style and perfume to create an "ethereal " look, not as much pretty as, irresistible. I don't know how to explain this but we all know that one woman that isn't even pretty but we can't look away. They have us in their clutch and in all honesty sis isn't that cute but we can't look away.

That.

Play with your unique features and stand out.

3. Do not, in fact, be like other girls.

Before you revoke my feminist card, hear me out. No one likes generic. Not even you. What makes Birkin that ridiculously expensive and in demand isn't the material, they don't import fabric from Mars, its the exclusiveness of it. Be the Birkin.

If you ever say "I'm not like other girls" me and all your ancestors will cringe in shame lol. I mean, find something that stands out. It can be as little as a detail in your outfit or a word you use or a topic you're a real need about or an interest, find some way (that you enjoy) that stands out.

The fun part of this is it already existes, we are born different and each unique in our own way. Find it, if you don't like it find something else.

4. Wit.

Uh. Yeah I will not be explaining this, the girls that get it get it the girls that don't, don't.

5. Honesty/straightforward.

There's something wildly irresistible about women that don't do circles. This is especially for my women with what would be considered (out of place) backgrounds?

I remember being one of two black girls in high school and while sis went all conforming and whitewashed I threw my braids into a ponytail or rocked whatever "allowed" hairstyle I could and not think about it and when anyone asked about my culture, hair, background, etc I answered matter of factly. I mean you won't touch my hair but braids take eight hours to make. Yes they hurt. &c.

When you're comfortable enough with a part of you that (you're not supposed to be?) It's attractive. We all want someone that's unfazed an complete, it makes you interesting to be around.

6. Be agreeable.

Again, leave my feminist card alone and hear me out, okay?

No one likes a disagreeable person..no one. If you shoot points down the second they're made being the loudest in the room no one will talk to you. No one.

Take yourself off that little godlike pedestal you're standing on baby you know I believe in you but your opinions aren't law. Your belief system isn't superior and you do not, in fact make the rules on what is okay to believe and isn't. You shoot yourself in the foot every single time you shut someone down. Give people the space to be themselves and watch them flock toward you. You don't have to fake aggreability, there's a high value way to disagree without burning bridges- I'm also not saying let people speak to you how they want. I'm saying learn duality and tolerance, let people be them. When that Pro life Andrew Tate Wannabe is running his mouth your little feminist speech is lost. Let the man talk, nod and give him the space to finish what he's saying (respectfully, or burn him) , validate whatever points make sense to you and shrug the others off.

Once people realize you're a safe space it's open season for you.

7. It's about them.

Always.

The highest seductive power existing is found in listening. Deep inside we all want to b understood. We all want someone to listen and validate us. We want to open up and be received.

Learn to do this.

Not 25 hours, and please know when you're being used as a trauma dump/ therapist, cut that shit out. Leave space to talk about yourself, you also deserve to be heard plus that's how connections are formed, common ground, but in every conversation ask yourself "what do they want?" To be validated? To feel heard? Sympathized with? Will you benefit from playing into it? Move accordingly.

Whole kingdoms have fallen and been conquered because kings felt heard for the first time. Remember this.

8. Storytelling

See sis no one cares for one word dry responses. No one. Noooo one. Learn to captivate an audience. Train your voice, posture, gestures, cadence such that you can not be ignored (an example of this is Norma Jean/ Marylin Monroe). Practise practise makes perfect. Don't stop until you start talking and the entire table goes quiet.

9. Confidence .

Yes I know I owe yall. Yes it's still coming.

Shy people are only interesting to pedophiles and people that wanna screw you into your mattress , love. No one takes a shy adult woman seriously unless he's trying to hit /they have that mother complex/ mommy X daddy issues, and even then it gets exhausting. Shy introverts finish last. If I have to draw words out of you and still read between your fidgeting etc you're cute for an hour then I'm done. You're an adult. Learn to act like one.

10. Be an expert in something.

Self explanatory.

Website

[kayrenim]

"I ask you: are you really keeping the faith? Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test." - Neville

[kayrenim]

Femme Fatale Guide: Tips To Become More Emotionally Intelligent

Embrace self-awareness & self-reflection: Observe how you feel, behave, and how people generally respond to your words/actions in different situations

Practice self-regulation: Learn to differentiate between your feelings and the actions that would be appropriate in a specific setting or interaction. Internalize that feelings are fleeting and non-factual. You're in control of how you respond/(don't) act on these emotions

Engage in active listening: Pay attention to what others are saying with the intent of understanding, not responding

Focus on emotional differentiation: Understand where your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and opinions end and another person's identity/perception begins

Display radical empathy and acceptance: Understand that almost all people's words and actions result from their own beliefs, past experiences, and current life circumstances/priorities. Put yourself in their shoes when attempting to understand their choices, behaviors, and times they come to you to discuss a problem, success, or major life decision. Accept that you can only control what you do. Very little of other people's actions/the world's workings are personal. Things are happening around you, not to you

Let go of your ego: View yourself as objectively as possible with the potential for improvement. Abolish any superior complex or overwhelming desire to prove your self-importance in others' lives and decisions

Remain open-minded: Question your own beliefs and opinions. Stay curious as to why you believe them to be true/authentic to you. Allow your opinions to change or have the capacity to modify your beliefs upon hearing new information. Understand your worldview and values are valid, but they're not definitively correct beliefs, just because they resonate/feel comfortable for you

Be receptive to feedback: Embrace constructive criticism as a self-improvement tool. Approach it with curiosity and optimism, not as a personal attack

Differentiate between your feelings and capabilities: Your thoughts are not facts. Remember you can do things you don't feel like doing most of the time (work, waking up in the morning, working out, etc.). Learn the difference between being a slave to your emotions and genuinely running out of energy