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kayleighmerritt · 2 years ago

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By: Kayleigh Merritt

This story starts 16 years ago when I was born in Chestertown Maryland. My mother is Marie Lozar (bromwell is her maiden name ) my birth father is Curtis Merritt.

My parents did not have the healthiest relationship. They fought a lot. Curtis is an alcoholic who worked in a jail when I was born. Its crazy how much you can learn about your parents and life in 16 years

Hi My name is kayleigh Merritt im 16 years old i go to Kent County

High School in Chestertown Maryland, i was born on july 31st 2006. But this story starts way before I was born. When my mother was a little girl she and my aunt were adopted. My mother now has 5 kids. She is 39. She found out that she was pregnant with my older sister when she was 17. My sister was born on november 4th 2001 . Marie had her first son in 2003, three years later I was born a beautiful healthy baby girl.

My mother was 23 and my father was 21 when they had me. It is now 2022 16 years later and this is my story. My parents never got married; they broke up when I was 4 months old. My mother got married again when I was 9 months old. She met my 2 younger brothers' father. He is a police officer for the town of Chestertown, i lived with my mother for the first 8 years of my life when i was 8 my father asked me if i wanted to live with him i said yes and for as long as i could remember my father was my best friend when i was 12 my father got remarried to his now ex-wife krystal reinhart my younger brother landon's mom. Landon was born april 21 2003 he is 13 now he lives with our father.

Ever since i started high school my life has been an emotional rollercoaster, i have been institutionalized 4 times because of my mental health, but honestly if you asked me i think my father was sending me away so that he didn't have to deal with helping me but if you asked him he would tell you something different. My father likes to think he's done everything he could but in reality my father was never helping. He was making it worse so I started acting out for attention. I started doing drugs and sneaking out, the only time my father paid attention to me was when he was yelling at me or hitting me. My father was and still is a very abusive person, there are so many things from his childhood that he has yet to deal with. It may be mead and rude to say what I'm about to say but this is my story, my side of everything. My father has mommy issues and his mother was not the best person. She had a boyfriend that used to hurt him.

There is one thing in life that I will never understand and that is how people hurt their children the same way they did to them. I've always thought that you were supposed to do better for your children and give them everything you didn't have to love them the way they weren't.

I have learned that the only people that can hurt you are the people you love and it hurts because you think they wouldn't hurt you because they love you. But we tend to hurt the ones we love the most. The thing is, I don't think my father understood how to help me with my condition. When I was 13 I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD. I am currently living with my mother in Cecilton Maryland. I am a junior in High School

I've realized that it is not healthy to have a relationship with my father because he is a narcissist he does not like it when you tell him he's wrong about something, he always has to be right and this story is mainly to tell him that he's not always right no one is no one ever will be. I have been living with my mom for a month my father has yet to reach out i've texted him once

“We never had the best relationship with each other but you were my father. I hope you know I will never be able to forgive you for the things that you have done. You have lied to me over and over again. You broke my trust, you promised me that you would always be here and now your not but i also wanted to say thank you for being who you are because yeah it hurts that you don't talk to me but i'm okay with it i don't need someone in my lifes that's just going to shut me down and take me away from the world and honestly that's not what parent do to their kids if they love them but i know you don't love me the way you love landon but it's okay. Will I ever understand it now but I don't care anymore. You have put me through so much hell the past 16 years of my life and im to the point where i've finally had enough of the lies and the abuse i just hope you know that you truly broke me inside and out do i still cry about it yes but it has made me a stronger person and i have people that love and support me. You can't seem to do that but it's okay i just hope that one day when you look in the mirror you'll see the person you've become, the person you swore to never be but i guess we can't control what we go through and we don't know why we go through it but i just hope you know that i'm tired of the bullshit i have been for a while i just never stood up for myself and im starting to now i'm becoming the person i want to be while you sit around and question yourself. I mean you probably don't because you're a narcissist they don't care about anything or anyone but themselves. Yes i might look like you and have your last name and DNA but DNA is not what makes a family a family is the people you love it's not about blood. You know it's crazy how everyone said I should be grateful to have a father like you but honestly you're just like every other man that has come into my life bringing me disappointment, grief, and pain. It doesn't matter to me if you're proud of me or not because I'm proud of myself and that's all that matters. I do not need your approval for anything. I may be 16 but I've learned a lot and I'm very smart. I know enough to know that when people have kids they don't hurt them. I hate you for what you've done to me but there isn't anything I can do to make you feel bad about treating me apart inside and out. And quite frankly I hope the thought of losing your only daughter keeps you up at night while I sleep because I have the people in my life that I need. I don't need you anymore. You have taught me the hardest lesson about life: never trust anyone no matter who they are or how close you are to them because they will always let you down. I have looked past so many things for you thinking that you'll change and become a better person but i don't think that's possible you don't want to change you don't want help and i get it. It makes you look weak but what you need to realize is that it doesnt make you weak it takes a strong person to realize they fucked up and ask for help. It's not easy but it's the truth and I hope when you read this you think long and hard about all the decisions you have made in your life. I don't want you in my life anymore. I'm doing this for myself because I can't get better if I'm stuck around all the negative things/people who tear me down and rip me apart. I hope you realize you have lost your daughter and you're never gonna get her back.”

This is the most recent text I sent him. He has not responded and honestly I don't expect him to. i've realized that i need to move on with my life be the person i want to be and to except the fact that he does not want to be a part of my life and i hope he realizes that this is it he can't come back when i figure out who i am and who i want to be he left he does not have the right to keep walking in and out of my life it mentally destroys me and i'm not putting myself through that again.

Curtis i hope you realize that when you said you were done that meant you were done you can't come back i don't want you to come back im finally starting my life and i'm happy and that's something you will never be able to take away from me no one can. I am sorry for one thing though i'm sorry that you didn't realize your daughter was hurting and that all she wanted was for you to be there for her she wanted you to protect her and choose her over everything and everyone but i guess you didn't want that and i may not understand why but i accept it and i'm moving on and i hope you move on to and i hope your happy.

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