katsprettyodd

[katsprettyodd]

jon X reader ; saved

request//jon

contains - mentions of abuse, rape, etc.

ATTENTION - this takes place at the end of season 6 and talks spoilers. you have been warned ;)

rundown - reader is being held captive at winterfell and has been abused by none other than ramsay bolton, and jon is not content about it. requested by @warriorprincess1515​

requests are always open

enjoy

it was nearly midnight when a sleek black raven perched on the balcony of jon snow’s room, holding a small rolled piece of parchment with the bolton symbol stamped. jon, already agitated enough from the lack of sleep and unnerving prospect of the blood that would shed only hours later, did not think receiving a raven at this time would be anything but uplifting. 

just by glancing at the child - like font, jon automatically knew it was ramsay. his stomach felt uneasy as he read. then, it stopped, his heartbeat became so loud it began to ache in his ears. his breathing paced faster, his brows knotted and teeth clenched. 

ever since ramsay took hold of winterfell, you were nothing but a rag doll to him. he beat you, starved you, attempted to touch you, and taunted you with his corrupted mind. because you had clearly displayed your opposition, he kept you in the dark and humid dungeons beneath winterfell to rot and let the rodents crawl over you. but once he had heard about jon snow and his ambitious scheme of retaking winterfell, ramsay felt it would be convenient to hold his close childhood friend captive, and use it as a weapon. 

the door opened, emitting a bright light from the entrance, the figure of a man stood at the threshold. you turned away from the harsh light. ramsay’s footsteps came closer and closer, until he crouched down and turned your head to face his. his ghoulish smile made it all worse.

‘when we win, i’ll make sure to keep him alive to accompany you down here and watch you rot. i’ve already made him aware about it. do i make myself clear?’ you didn’t respond, instead you had the strong urge to spit into his face and wish him hell. he seemed to notice your struggle, and gripped your jaw tighter. ‘now, now, when i ask a question, there has to be an answer. here, let’s try again, do i make myself clear?’ you nodded reluctantly. he chuckled, and let go of your beaten, blood - stained face, then left, shutting the door behind him with a loud bang.

you didn’t even think positive of it all - ramsay had boasted about the fall of jon snow, and how they didn’t even need to worry. and nine times out of ten, when ramsay spoke with such confidence, he was correct. 

you hadn’t seen jon since he left for the night’s watch, and you wondered how he was now, and how he ended up in ramsay’s net. you missed him terribly, and he was the only one you wanted right at that moment.

you coughed up a little more blood, and felt the roughness of your throat like sandpaper. you assumed you passed out from dehydration, unaware of how long, because you were shaken awake. 

‘y/n, y/n, please, please wake up,’ the voice pleaded, and you began to cry. ramsay had won. he had won..

‘no, please leave me alone-’ you coughed and regain consciousness, and felt your stomach drop.

‘no, no, no, it’s me, jon.  you’re okay,’ his hand caressed your bruised face. ‘c’mon, let’s get you out of here.’ he pulled you up gently and attempted at carrying you bridal style, but you refused and held your arm around his neck and walked yourself. it had been a long time since your legs had done it’s job.

‘ramsay - is he dead? where is he -’

‘don’t worry about that right now. trust me, he’s just where he is supposed to be, he won’t harm you any more. not anyone.’

after several hours of explaining and jon patching you up, you still could not simply believe this was all happening. everything flew by like a crack of lightning. 

‘you should get cleaned up. you’re so dirty i can hardly recognize you,’ you said. he seemed to smile softly, then it fell back. ‘thank you, jon, i owe you my life.’

he turned around, eyes red, ‘i’m sorry, for what he did to you. i should’ve been there -’

‘please don’t say that. you never could’ve known. you’re not to blame, the only one to blame is him,’ you said, and rose up to see him face to face. ‘you need to lay down and rest. you’ve had enough for one day.’ he hugged you tightly, and said three words that you did not dare to hesitate to say back.

[katsprettyodd]

jon snow X reader ; my first

request//jon

rundown - ‘could you do one where the reader is a lannister and meets Jon at a lords wedding. they spend the night talking and kiss? idk im horrible at this’ -anonymous

requests are always open 

enjoy

being at a weddings was like being caught in conversation with someone who was boastful - they were long and boring and you can’t avoid it, so you sit in silence with every once of patience you could gather. you didn’t see the purpose of having to come all the way to the north just to witness a forced marriage that would last for hours. you didn’t even know the couple or their families that well to actually be present at their wedding. but your mother and father insisted, and you knew well there was no escaping. 

you sat on your chair and saw the drunken men laugh along with one another and the women making conversation with just one glass of wine in their hand. the sweet smell of ale and the obnoxious laughter floated all around you.

and there he goes again.

this time, you looked directly into his dark brown eyes to your right. when he noticed, his lips trembled into a nervous smile and turned the other way. 

his name was jon, you believed, and he was a snow. you only met him and his family earlier, but ever since then you had that odd feeling of being looked at. and every time, in the corner of your eye, you saw the blurry pale skin and black hair. you didn’t find it that very annoying, hell. you were pleased he looked back at you for more than a second, but you were just curious. 

several moments later, he rose from his seat, excused himself, and left down a corridor. without hesitation or thought, you did the same. you found him outside, crouched and petting a stunning white wolf. you never seen anything like before, and its eyes were a deep red like the roses in the garden you saw from your window. you forgot about what you were going to do or say, and he noticed you.

‘m’ lady, i’m sorry, i - i didn’t notice you,’ he quickly rose and dusted off the snow on his hands. 

you shook your head, smiling, ‘there’s no need. it’s beautiful,’ you motioned your head at the wolf. the snow was cold and made the high points of your face numb but you tried at ignoring it. ‘what’s it’s name?’

‘ghost. his name is ghost - and thank you,’ he stopped and looked at you admiringly as you looked at the wolf, totally mesmerized. it wasn’t everyday you saw an animal like that. ‘would you like to pet him? he won’t bite.’

the wolf’s fur was as soft as it looked, and you ran you fingers through it. you snapped out of your daze and immediately felt like an idiot. ‘i’m sorry, it’s just - down south you don’t normally see animals like him, and, well the closest i’ve had to a pet is a rat my older brother Jaime got rid of for me in my room. quite a funny sight, him running around the room swinging his sword and cursing under his breath at the thing.’ he chuckled at this, and looked at ghost.

‘have you ever been up here? the north?’

‘no, not really. king’s landing is all. but it feels good to leave. i’m y/n, by the way, y/n lannister,’ you stopped, ‘but i suppose you already knew that.’

‘well, i’m jon snow,’ 

it rest of the night seemed to fly by in seconds. before you knew it, you were laughing with jon snow and telling memorable stories about one another, and he seemed like an old friend. he was very humble, and you’ve never met a person as humble as him, and had a lovely smile. his charisma made you genuinely happy, not the fake happy you had for the countless lords and ladies you had to meet. 

‘youre crazy,’ he exclaimed, shaking his head and laughing.

‘can’t argue with you on that one, but to be fair, cersei needed that trim.’

you two were sitting on a stone bench, and in silence. it was the type of silence that was comfortable, not irritating or awkward to where it made the hairs on your arm stand. ‘why did you keep looking at me?’ you asked.

he looked up at you, then back down to his feet, as if he was ashamed. ‘i don’t know, really. i’ve never seen a girl like you back at winterfell.’

‘oh, please. i’ve never met anyone as well as you - i imagine all the woman must be falling just to catch a glimpse of you.’ you felt yourself getting red.

‘actually, no. no i don’t. i’ve never, well, been with a woman before - i mean as in, well, you know.’

‘yeah, i do. have you ever kissed one?’ he shook his head solemnly. ‘would you like to?’ your brain melted when the last bit rolled off your tongue - you hated yourself. you had no idea what had gotten into you. he looked up and met your eyes. ‘wow, i’m sorry that was -’ you rose up quickly, but he protested.

‘no, no please.’ he grabbed your wrist, ‘it’s fine. i would like my first kiss to be memorable, not something i’d gag at when i’m older.’

‘understandable. you sure?’ he nodded softly, and you leaned forward, feeling his cold skin sting against yours. his lips were colder. you broke apart, inches away, and you felt him breathe softly down your cheek, so warm it sent chills down your back.

‘thank you, m’lady.’ he said with a half smile.

requests are open !! thank you very much for reading :)

[katsprettyodd]

jon snow X reader

short//jon  

ATTENTION - this is going to take place around season 1ish, so there’s not going to be any spoilers ;)

rundown - reader is daughter of a lord and meets jon during dinner.

requests are always open

enjoy

it was yet another day of a tiring schedule that had been repeated so much, it seemed to you that it had lost its purpose entirely. the only difference was having dinner with the starks of winterfell, but it did not change your outlook on the miserable day. 

your father did speak about dinner with the starks the night before. he seemed looking forward to it - as he did with any feast regarding to a lord. ‘it’s been too long since i’ve last seen eddard and his family. too long.’

you were on your way to winterfell in a carriage, along with you younger brothers whom you both found irritating. they began to wrestle, but you were too exhausted to even interfere. instead, you looked at the white blankets of snow laying on the land, replaying in your head what you were going to do throughout the whole dinner - fake a smile, compliments, stand up straight, no mumbling, some more compliments, try to look as if you weren’t being squeezed to death by your damned corset.

winterfell came into soon enough you found yourself standing alongside your mother and brothers in front of the lord and his family, and the village people. smile, you told yourself. 

the two men greeted each other like great friends. his children stood behind him, and you hadn’t seen them in so long you nearly forgot who was who.

you first greeted ned and his wife, catelyn, then the children from eldest to youngest. when you met robb, you couldn’t believe it was the same boy you used to play with in the snow. he was much taller and grew facial hair. the next one was ned’s bastard son, jon, and you remembered the black curly hair. you two never really spoke to one another when you came. (au - im just going to skip the others bc i know you came here for jon ;) )

the dinner was exactly how you knew it would be, and your attitude did also. you were bored, barely touching the food placed in front of you. the family talked politics, the younger children played with their food, and you didn’t mingle with either. you excused yourself from the table and walked down the hall, not knowing or caring where it led to. 

you noticed that jon’s presence was not at the table, and it brought you to wonder. and you knew it was nothing out of the ordinary to the starks, because they seemed fine and did not explain or mention his absence at all. 

you walked out to the front, the cold wind hitting your face. you heard grunts and the sharp sound of two objects ramming into each other. you began to walk towards the sound, and saw jon using a straw dummy for practice with sword fighting. he hit it so hard that you were in awe at how it didn’t crumble to little pieces.

‘taking out your anger or training? can’t seem to tell the difference anymore these days,’ he turned around, startled. whether if he was startled that you were speaking to him or that you weren’t at dinner, you didn’t know. 

he turned back around. ‘except it’s always been like that.’

‘you’ve got a point,’ you walked closer, but a safe distance away to reduce the chances of getting hit. ‘so, you not eating with your family - has it always been like that as well?’ he stopped, taking in deep breathes.

‘yes. yes, it has.’

‘may i ask why?’

‘and you? have you always left dinner?’

‘no, only this time.’

‘i’m not a stark.’

‘what does that have to do with anything?’

‘you came here for a dinner with the starks. i’m a snow. a bastard.’

‘i guess i could understand, but you do have stark blood.’

he looked at you with a sort of guilt, so you quickly changed the subject. ‘my father goes on about how my brothers would make a good fit for the night’s watch when they come of age. have you ever thought about it?’

he shrugged, ‘i’ve never really thought about it. maybe someday, i don’t know.’ the conversation dropped there, and silence followed until he asked, ‘are you cold? you’re just wearing a coat.’

you shook your head, ‘i’m fine. i suppose growing up in the north, you gain an immunity to the cold.’ he smiled a little.

‘come on, let’s get inside.’

he took you along inside the castle, opposite of the dinner room with windows that looked over winterfell. the small homes and streets covered with snow.

‘recognize that, just down there?’ he pointed down to a little tree. you smiled without even realizing.

‘yes, that’s where robb was running and slipped into the snow. everyone was laughing, poor boy was so embarrassed he laughed along.’

‘you know what he was trying to do?’ you hummed in response, ‘he was trying to impress you. he liked you very much.’

‘that was years ago, but it seemed like it happened just last week.’

‘hmm. i wish i gained the courage to play along with you. it looked like so much fun.’ he said. you remembered jon just sitting and watching, and you felt pity on him.

‘what about now? are you having fun?’

‘what do you mean?’

‘i mean, you’re here with me, talking. it’s the longest we’ve ever spoken to one another. i regret not speaking to you sooner.’

‘well, i am. i regret not speaking to you sooner as well.’ he smiled at you, his brown eyes big and looking into yours.

this ones super short and i’m sorry if it seemed kind of ‘okay’. request some and i’ll be happy to actually have a good story line :) 

[katsprettyodd]

matty healy X reader ily, dym

part 2//matty contains language rundown - continuation of part 1 requests are always welcomed your eyes parted open lazily at the light that made it's way through the closed curtains. you adjusted your vision, mouth parched and nose runny. one of your nostrils was clogged, preventing your breathing. you motioned your head over to the side of your bed- empty. this isn't right. no, you were in the car - you were laying tangled in you milk white bed sheets, half hanging off the side of the bed. he wasn't in your sight. you looked over to your nightstand in shambles and the digital clock read twelve minutes past nine. you groaned reluctantly, rubbing your forehead with your cold fingers, because your head throbbed with an excruciating pain. you pushed yourself up with shaky arms. your phone sat next at the edge of the bed. you reached for it, and stared blankly at the one message. from george 6:03 am hey i know you're probably sleeping but id like to know if you're both okay.  vividly, you could visualize what had happened only several hours ago. there was shouting, crying, rain. the only thing you couldn't quite remember was how you ended up in your room when you clearly drifted off to sleep. you walked downstairs cautiously, making sure you don't miss a step out of the tiredness. the sight of the entrance gave you flashbacks that ran down your back. you regretted ever even leaving the house.  he wasn't anywhere in the house nor knocked out in the couch. your keys were hung on the wall beside the door; yet his was missing.  you told yourself not to worry, let him do what he wants to do. it's his life, like he said. but he brought you into it, so isn't it yours to take care of too? you pulled out a box of cereal from the shabby wooden cabinets and poured it into a bowl. you gazed at it, completely losing your appetite. you've never had breakfast without him. instead you made you way back upstairs to take a shower and get dressed; not even conscious of the fact that you slipped on an old shirt that was once his. you remained in the room for about another two hours, trying to keep your mind occupied with the thousands of magazines that were stacked in the far corner of the room. you noticed dark stains of mascara were bled onto the pillow, and bit your lip.  promptly after, the door downstairs drew open, keys jingling.  it had to be him. you two are the only ones with keys. you wanted to go down, swing your arms around his neck and weep into his shoulder. you didn't want to weep out of pity for yourself, asking for forgiveness; for you didn't feel like what you did was irrational - but simply because you could not just let these problems continue to define your relationship. your legs didn't allow you to move, no matter how much you were tempted.  the sound of groceries hitting the counter top, and the clatter of the bowl being tossed into the sink were then made. you had to. but what would you say? you hadn't put much thought into approaching him. perhaps just let him make the first comment, and you could lead on from there. you'll just put an unreadable face mimicking his the night before. yes, that's it. slightly trembling and fully hesitant, you walked down the stairs, begging not to make a noise.  merely peaking, you could see an abundance of groceries laid out on the counter, him leaning against it with a long cigarette loosely placed between his perfectly shaped lips.  from what you could see, he wasn't in the best state. his iconic locks of hair were tied up, eyes heavily bagged, and pale skin. you have to go.  he didn't make eye contact with you as you made your way over, but you didn't doubt he knew you were there.  you leaned against another wall, adjacent to him. he had to visible reactions. he only inhaled and exhaled the smoke gracefully.  'did you take me upstairs last night?' you completely brushed off the idea of him making the first move -  it occurred to you he wouldn't talk, he doesn't when he's mad. evidently, no response. 'did you sleep at all? you look - bad.' you were initially going to say 'shit', but switching the words persuaded you another argument would be avoided. yet the tension was still strong.  he puffed a great cloud, then placed the cigarette into a small ash tray by the sink, putting it out.  he began unloading the groceries. 'are you going to be mute now?' you asked, somewhat repulsive.  nothing. he just kept stacking the many small boxes of unknown contents. 'if you're not going to talk,' you began, walking to the opposite side of the counter to face him, taking a seat, 'then at least answer me this, and verbally. i know you took me from my car and carried me upstairs. but why? why didn't you just leave me there?' he stopped stacking, but did not look up. he licked his lips tentatively. 'you didn't eat breakfast,' he ignored, motioning his head to the sink. his voice was sounded sick. your head throbbed even more. sitting up hastily, you scooted the chair in aggressively and started down the hall until he said something under his breath. 'what?' you turned around. 'i said i refuse to answer a stupid question like that.' you didn't know what to say. 'it's not stupid -' 'you can answer your own question.' you didn't understand, and your face said it. 'y/n, you're smarter than this. we have a shit load of arguments and we bicker quite often, usually over my stupidity. is it excessive? maybe. but even if the worst comes at us, you could call me a fucking asshole and i can call you a petty bitch, and you leave right now, but in the i'll still feel the same.' you still didn't understand, and you did indeed felt stupid. 'i fucking love you, y/n. i fucking love everything about you. i know i fucked up yesterday, and i know i've fucked up many times. you don't deserve what i put you through. you don't deserve me. i don't know what the hell i did to be living with such a gorgeous and genuine person. honestly, if you want to leave, that's fine. i understand. it'll be hard for the both of us, i'm sure, but you deserve better than this-' 'just stop. stop please, none if that's true i don't want to keave you-' you choked out, trying to prevent tears from spilling out. your ears went hot. your breathing paced quickly. he immediately shut his mouse, looking agitated. the tears submerged your eyes, blurring his face. simply fed up, and for some reason you thought it'd be the best thing, you ran up to the room. you skipped several steps at a time, barging your door open and slumping yourself against the bed board. slow steps sounded louder as they got nearer.  his pale face with lonely strands of kinky hair falling over his red eyes. he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.  surprisingly, you didn't cry as much as you thought you would. it's as if you emptied all your tears out last night and nights before that.  'i'm sorry, love.' slowly he walked over and sat in front of you, placing a hand behind you head and pulling you in for a hug. you wrapped your arms securely around his neck, digging your face into the crease of his neck. your tears stopped, you head ached. his face did the same as yours, digging within your hair. you two stayed like this, in quietness and tranquility, for what seemed as hours. 'i want to make it up for you,' he mumbled. you hummed in question, for you were too busy caught in the moment. 'i want to make it up for you,' he repeated.  you pulled away, watching the single tear trace from his bruised eye. 'you don't have to make up anything for me.' 'i still am. i want to take you to dinner.' 'you need sleep.' 'and you need a proper, nicer dinner rather than microwave noodles or cereal.' *** there was no way in evading the generous gesture he made, no matter how much you pleaded it would be fine eating microwave noodles. you didn't want him going out and spending the rest of the night trying to keep his eyes open when he hasn't slept for almost twenty four hours. but again, there was no way in avoiding it. you two ate at some ridiculously over-priced gourmet place with fancy lights and up-tight waiters; the food wasn't that very good, but that didn't wash the great evening away. 'would you like to take a stroll down the pavement? it's a lovely evening,' he said as you two neared the parking lot in his car. it was indeed a very lovely evening - the sky was splashed with colors of orange, yellow, and different shades of purple, surrounding the great shiny sinking sun as it settled down into the ocean. 'sure, it is nice.' he parked the car and you two began walking down the sidewalk, hand intertwined in hand, gazing at the stores that stood tall.  just before the sun disappeared, you two were able to get a spot on a small bench, directly facing the sunset.  several moments past, the sun was going down, but your mind seemed occupied with something else - a threatening group of tall and bulky men were not that far, looking at you two. one of them being extremely familiar, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. you knew you seemed apprehensive. 'beautiful, hmm?' you broke your eyes with them, and looked at the now sunless sky. 'yeah, it really was.' 'what's wrong? you seem tense.' 'oh, i'm sorry it's just - that group over there. see that taller one, the one looking at us? i know him from somewhere. look, but don't make it obvious.' he moved his eyes but not his head, then they widened. 'shit,' he mumbled under his breathe. 'what?' 'that guy -' they began to make there way over to you two, chuckling, but still looked intimidating. your stomach churned with uneasiness.  as he got closer, matty became more tense and the man became more familiar. then it hit you. the man matty fought at the club got nearer. 'and this is when we dip,' he said, you didn't see him say it, but it sounded as if he was smiling. you two rose up quickly, and started to walk fast back towards the car. his pulled up hair bounced up and down and up and down. 'isn't that coincidental?' 'very.' 'yo, you running away with that dickhead?' one of them called as they followed. matty tsked. your steps became leaps in a matter of seconds, and soon you found yourselves breathing heavily and watching the buildings go by fast. they transfer you two as well. for a split moment you swore you saw him, in your peripheral vision, grow a bit grin on his face. you thought you were maybe seeing things, but he started to laugh. 'what are you laughing for?!' 'i don't know!' when the sleek black car came into view. you stumbled inside, he jammed the key into the wheel and you shut the door hard. you could see in the rearview mirror, the small black speck becoming larger and larger, making out the group. soon enough you were speeding down the deserted road, and he couldn't stop laughing. you giggled too. 'my god, am i exhausted,' he huffed. 'you're crazy, matty,' when you two made it home, you told him as if you were a mom, to go upstairs and straight to sleep, but of course he didn't budge. 'i'm not going to bed at nine, y/n. too early,' he said, slumping into the couch and grabbing the remote. you walked over to him, standing in front of the t.v. to block his view. arms crossed, you gave him an eyebrow lift. 'come on, y/n, let's watch something -oh! maybe the notebook!' you gave up. no matter what you could have tried, you knew he wouldn't. you slumped next to him, but he shifted himself onto your lap, his head against your stomach. you gladly obliged and played with his locks of hair as he selected the movie. you didn't get to see at least a quarter left of the movie because you slipped into a very deep sleep. you found him still laying on your lap. 'matty,' you looked over. with his mouth slightly hanging open, subtle snores and closed eyes, he was in a very deep sleep as well. you naturally grew a small smile. you glanced over to the clock on the oven, it read four minutes past four in the morning. there was no point in waking him now, you were also very exhausted and frankly too lazy to change into your night clothes.  instead, you laid your head back onto the soft couch, closing your eyes but not falling asleep; you instead relived the night you had with him, slightly giggling when you saw him absentmindedly light the wrong end of his cigarette. to george 4:04 am sorry for the late reply. we're okay.  thank you xo

[katsprettyodd]

matty healy X reader

part 1//matty contains language

rundown - reader is worried about mattys well being. arguments take place.

requests are always welcomed

it was pouring dangerously hard, lightning striking every few seconds. your mind raced with the most worst possible proposals as to why he wasn’t lying next to you, sound asleep. your stomach ached anxiously and you tried desperately, with all your feeble strength, to keep your eyes open. he promised to you he wouldn’t do this anymore - stay out late without reaching back to your calls or texts, being completely MIA, and worrying you like this. the creak under the shut door was still casting a long strip of light. you always left it on for him to come back from the studio and turn it off, indicating that he’s arrived. you glanced over at your digital clock that sat upon old books and magazines and trash that was cluttered around it. it was seven minutes past three. first, it was one am- it’s okay, he’s probably leaving now. some nights there’s more work to do. then it was two fifteen am- maybe there’s traffic. normally traffic doesn’t take place around this time but it can happen, right? then it was two thirty am- maybe he forgot something and went back to retrieve it, no biggy. but now, you ran out of possible excuses. he’s never been this late and the lights were still on.

you pushed yourself up and took your phone that was sitting next to an ashtray littered with cigarette butts. you unlocked it and you found yourself calling george. you impatiently waited as the ringing echoed in you ears, each second longer resulted in you bit your lower lip harder. ‘ello?’ a deep voice answered. 'oh, george! thank god -’ 'y/n! how happy i am to hear you right now.’ 'what’s going on? where’s matty? he’s not here -’ 'look, y/n, i’ll explain later.’ 'what’s going on - wait, what’s that noise? where the hell are you?’ his voice was drained from loud commotion and yelling in the background. 'i’ll explain everything later, i promise. but listen please, okay? don’t leave the house. i need you to call the police and tell them to go to west club that’s located downtown.’ your heart dropped down to your stomach. now, there was more horrid ideas that sprouted into your head. he sounded rushed and worried, so you didn’t bother asking him what happened, you just hoped everything would be okay - whatever it was. 'okay, i’ll call them now -’ you jumped off your bed so fast as if you just got struck by the ugly lighting outside. you slipped a pair of joggers on, and trotted downstairs towards the light. you picked up the nearest house phone. you dialed quickly the three digits you never thought you’d have to. the commotion from your cell phone was as loud as ever. but before you can wish him safety and let him know that you were calling them, he hung up. you finally finished telling the dispatcher exactly what george had asked you to through stutters and sudden jumps because of sudden cracks of lightning. you were in awe about how calm and collected the lady was and you thanked her for trying to relax you and breathe. immediately after, you slipped a pair of shoes on and grabbed the hanging keys to your car on the wall next to the door.

you shut it so hard you assured it woke your neighbors reluctantly up, and climbed hastily into your car. you jammed your key in, and soon enough you were on the highway practically going over the speed limit. west club wasn’t foreign to you. your friends would bribe you just about every weekend to come with them during your single days. it’s also where you met matty. your spine shivered when you thought of him; his hypnotizing brown eyes and charming smile.

you pulled into the familiar parking lot of the rundown brick club with large neon lights that blinded with the words west club bar and casino. you noticed there were no hint of the police, but you did recall the same loud commotion on the phone. you slammed your car door shut, the cold wind and rain ramming into you as you charged quickly into the club. the sweet smell of weed and cigarettes clogged your nostrils, just like the excessive shouting and screaming clogged your ears. it seemed like the whole club’s attention was in the center of the club near the bar area. you fretted about what could be so captivating in the center of the human-made donut. you searched frantically for either a tall, blond boy or a lanky boy with untidy curly hair, or maybe with your best karma, both. you didn’t dare to get into the crowd out of fear of getting trampled or getting pushed into the center. you felt like your legs were going to snap because they shook so much. suddenly, something big gripped your shoulder. you swung around and a dirty white shirt greeted your face. you looked up, and your worries seemed to die down a little when you saw the gentle eyes. it was ross. his skin shinned, drops of sweat seeping into his dark beard, and his chest rising and descending quickly. 'ross -’ 'what are you doing here, y/n? did you call the police like george told you to?’ you nodded quickly, opening your mouth to ask what was going on but it was like he read your mind. 'i can’t explain now, y/n, i know you want to know but i can’t. i have to go help george - but please just stay here and wait until the police arrive. stay away from the crowd,’ he said as he quickly paced into the crowd, disappearing as he squeezed himself through. the unsettling feeling of anger and weariness bubbled in your stomach. you felt so anxious that you were nauseous. not any longer than when ross left, you saw blue and red colors dancing on a shiny wooden table placed in front of you. you turned around and in the distance, you saw two white cars making it’s way down the street through droplets of water on the window; the loud sirens so loud it took dominance over the crowd. when they pulled into the parking lot, arms crossed to keep you a little warm, you stepped out into the stinging rain. thankfully, the two men and one woman stepped out of the cars without a gun. this made you feel better. 'it’s in there - i think it’s a fight -’ 'we’ll take care of it ma'am, please step inside. the weather’s bad and you look tired.’ the lady said, gesturing to the dark circles that formed under your eyes. the two men stepped inside while the lady went back into the car and pulled out a cream colored blanket. she placed it around your shoulders, and you thanked her so many times you couldn’t keep track. once they entered, the cheering died, the jumping stopped, and the laughing drunk faces contorted. you leaned against the wall by yourself, asking yourself if you were too scared to see what would be uncovered when the donut split open. your heart stopped beating. tangled in arms and legs and hands built into fists, bloody noses and ripped collars of shirts, on the floor was matty under a larger man, and george with a bloody lip stranding before them. they stopped in their stances, and gazed at the men in all black and flashing lights. george glanced over you, his jaw clenching.

they escorted the man on top of matty first into one of the cars, and when matty was going out the door restrained, he looked up at your watering eyes. an unreadable look splashed on his face. while all of this was happening, the club was dead silent. george began talking to the female officer, her face seemed to be empathetic, and she nodded at him as she left out the door. he then made his way to you. 'they’re making me go to the station with them.’ 'i’m going to,’ you ordered sternly. 'no. no you can’t. you should go home, get rest -’ 'i’m not gonna be able to sleep not knowing what happened. george, you owe me an explanation.’

you two got into his car, following the police. drops of water continued to hit the windshield, and strikes of lighting and the booming of thunder made you slightly jump. the more the silence stretched, the more you bit your lip to prevent yourself from crying.

what is happening?

'tell me what happened, george.’ you kept your eyes straight on the road, your fingers involuntary playing with a loose thread dangling from the blanket. in your peripheral vision, you saw his shoulders tense and his fingers tightening on the black steering wheel.

'matty should explain it -’ 'i’m not going to rely on a narcissistic drunk asshole to tell me what happened. you promised me you would explain everything,’ you shot somewhat aggressively. you didn’t mean to say it like that, but the anger building inside of you wouldn’t allow you to say anything calmly. he obliged. 'we were at the studio, and matty said we should have a break. so, we were going down to the club just to drink, that’s all,’ he said cautiously, trying to assure that it wasn’t anything more than drinks. matty liked to drink, which wasn’t anything peculiar so it wasn’t first news to you. 'i refused to drink, because i wanted to be the one to escort matty back to your place safely. adam went home, ross drank only a little, but when we stepped inside i went to the toilets. i came back, ross came after me saying that he couldn’t find matty. we searched everywhere, called his phone, nothing. we forgot he left his phone back at the studio. we still couldn’t find him until we heard yelling and screaming. it was by the casino area. we went over there, and matty was on top of the big guy you saw, throwing punches. as the crowd got bigger, the harder it was for us to get through. then that’s when you called. after i told you everything, i pushed through and tried breaking them up. at first, i couldn’t because people were closing the circle more making it harder for me not to accidentally hit someone else. i don’t know how long i tried breaking them up, but before i knew it ross came round and told me you were here,’ he licked his lips, 'and that’s when the police arrived.’

you were silent, going through the many reasons why matty could have been included in a  brawl. you looked over at the clock between you two on the car. it was a quarter to four.

'idiot,’ you murmured. 'he could get charged for this, you know.’ he nodded. 'what about you?’ you asked, 'why didn’t you get taken out?’ 'the lady asked what i was doing, and i said i was the one who asked you to call the police and i tried to break it up. she said it was okay, that they needed to ask a few questions, that’s all.’ 'i’m going to - oh my god,’ you groaned, eyebrows knitting together at the thought of you boyfriend. 'well, i’m glad you’re not getting into trouble, but, you’re bleeding pretty bad at your lip.’ 'yeah, i’ll fix it up when i get there. matty hit me pretty hard.’ 'why couldn’t you or ross call the police?’ you asked. 'ross’s phone died, and mine was being stubborn because of not much service. i was relieved when your name took up my screen.’

when you two finally made it to the station, you waited in the lobby on the blue cushioned seats while george went to be questioned. you couldn’t find matty or the other man, but you tried to ease yourself. your hand supported the weight of your head on the armrest, the blanket coating you. you found yourself drifting off into a very deep sleep; but it didn’t last as long as you wanted because you were gently shaken awake. you tried adjusting your eyes to the light and the blurry group of people around you. as it got clearer, you sat straight up. george, matty, and the same female officer stood before you. 'sorry, i -’ 'don’t be sorry, hun. you’re this man’s girlfriend, right?’ you nodded tiredly. 'well, he’s been let go. there’s no evidence on his record of violence, so let this be the only time. go home, get some rest.’ you looked into his eyes, his right one puffy and purple. he refused to look into yours. 'thank you so much, really. here,’ you grabbed the blanket and held it out to her, but she shook her head. 'keep it. have a nice rest,’ she smiled feebly and walked off through the doors leading into the office. you turned to george. 'ross brought your car back. he says it’s low on gas. i’ll drive you home -’ 'no, i got it. you go home and tell ross i say thank you. i’ll drive.’ he opened his mouth to counter, but the serious look in your eyes shut him up.

again, the silence in the car stretched. matty sat with his arm leaning against the window, gazing out at the fast moving cars and buildings. you didn’t want to talk to him when he was drunk, because you knew it would lead to an argument and you both, especially him, would say things you both would regret. you wanted to shout, scowl, and do whatever at him, but you held yourself back. you saw him fiddle with something in his pocket, he took out a box only containing one lonely cigarette. dangling between his bruised lips, he pulled out a lighter, that emitted a small light. he took a long inhale, smoke rising from his nose and creaked open lips.

'let me see,’ you mumbled, gesturing to the the cigarette. he gave it to you gently, trying not to make contact with his cold fingers and your hand. once you got it, you rolled the window down, tossing it out. you saw his face contort. 'what the hell, y/n?’ his voice reeked of intoxication. 'i don’t want my car smelling like smoke.’ you shot coarsely. 'are you serious?’ 'very.’ you kept your eyes on the dark road. 'you’re unbelieveable.’ he mumbled, and you couldn’t help but make a small sarcastic scoff. 'okay,’ you said.

silence.

when you pulled into the driveway, you were the first one out and through the door. you didn’t bother holding it open for him. you went up the stairs, and into the bathroom examining yourself in the mirror, then splashing water on your face. you heard the door slam closed, and the stomping of footsteps coming up the stairs. in the mirror, you saw him charging to your room.

'i don’t know where you think you’re going - you’re sleeping on the couch downstairs.’ he stopped dead in his tracks, not turning around. 'what?’ 'you heard me clearly. you’re sleeping downstairs. i don’t want you next to me.’ he turned around, coming straight at you. 'you’re telling me where to sleep in my house?’ he emphasised, index finger pointing at his chest. 'fine. i guess i’ll sleep downstairs,’ you said simply, turning off the light and starting to leave the bathroom, but he blocked you. a sound of lightning cracked.

'matty, get out of the way.’ nothing. he just stared at you with eyes you couldn’t read. 'matty.’ you warned more sternly. nothing. you bit your tongue to stop your eyes from breaking open with tears. you suddenly pretended to see something odd behind him, he turned his head around confusingly, and this gave you the perfect opportunity to push him out of the way. he was completely oblivious, but when you were already trotting down the steps he trotted down after you. 'y/n,’ he called. you didn’t respond the next couple of times he called your name again. 'don’t ignore me! it’s not my fault that all of this happened. not my fault some snitch called the police -’ you snapped. 'really? last time i checked, you were the one who gladly began to throw punches at the guy, completely aware sober or not that you could get arrested for it! i was worried! you left your phone at the studio and i called thousands of times to see if you were okay! i called george, and he told me to call the police. i guess george and i are the snitches for caring about you! leave me alone, dammit!’ 'the guy was pissing me off! maybe, if you’d hear me out for once we wouldn’t be shouting at each other right now!’ 'what is there to hear? what? tell me, matty tell me. i’m all ears, babe. go on, please, tell me what the big bad guy did to you!’ you yelled sarcastically. his eyes flooded with anger. 'why am i even bothering to waste my time like this? why am i arguing with someone that thinks they’re always right? it’s my life, stay out of it!’ 'you just don’t get it do you? fuck you. just fuck you.’ you said, making your way back to the door before a tight grip clammed onto your arm. 'let go.’ he continued to grip tighter. 'i swear to god, you’re damn grip is hurting, matty!’ he suddenly let go, and you rubbed your red wrist. you charged out, leaving him motionless. you didn’t know where to go, or even less where you could go. you didn’t know any of the nearest hotels, or if any of your friends were with their significant other - cuddling, loving, smiling. your vision blurred and tears mixed on your face with the cold raindrops. charging into your car, you slammed your foot on the engine, but it didn’t budge. the engine roared weakly, and through the wheel you saw bright green letters flashing no fuel. 'son of a bitch!’ you exclaimed, banging on the wheel repeatedly but eventually giving up, slumping into your seat. the tears streamed faster, cloaking sticky streams down your neck. the world fell around you. you two always fought about these things - but you still had an unbreakable tie.