karsticlife

[karsticlife]

A gay bar in my home town was the target of an arson attack today. It's the second time the bar has been attacked in recent weeks—the first time unsuccessfully, but this time with devastating consequences. Luckily no one was hurt, but the damage is estimated at around €100,000 and the owner is asking for donations to cover some of the expenses headed their way and to support their staff while they're working on trying to reopen as soon as possible.

There's not a lot I can do from here except donate and feel helpless and sick to my stomach and ask that maybe some of you might be able to donate as well. Thank you.

translation of the fundraiser text under read more

Appeal for donations for the b sieben

Stronger together!

Dear friends, guests and supporters,

We have to close our doors temporarily because b sieben was severely damaged by an arson attack. We are grateful for the support we have already received. Nevertheless, we are facing great challenges to carry out the necessary repairs, purchase new furniture and also support our staff financially.

If you would like to help us get through this difficult time, we would appreciate any donation, no matter how small, to help restore the b sieben and support our team. With your help, we can make b sieben the place you know and love again.

Thank you to everyone who is standing by us during this time. Your solidarity means a lot to us.

[karsticlife]

URGENT POLL

[karsticlife]

banana

[karsticlife]

happy anniversary of tom getting arrested for underage drinking

[karsticlife]

boops for the tomark writer ever!!!

ima assume u mean the most goated :3

[karsticlife]

Was not gonna post this but... I did.

[karsticlife]

THEY TOOK BLINKS COVER OF DANCING WITH MYSELF OFF OF SPOTIFY???

[karsticlife]

what the hell, sure

[karsticlife]

Tom Delonge look alike on the Great British Baking Show

[karsticlife]

mark with 🐙

[karsticlife]

This one kind of just exploded out of my brain and splatted here so yea sorry about that.

Tomarktober Day 26: Flashback

It's 1994, and Mark's watching Tom show him some new trick on his skateboard. Well, he's not really watching the stunt. He's focused on how beautiful Tom looks in the moment, his face scrunched in concentration as he wills his feet to move how he wants. Mark wishes he could commit this all to memory, the way the San Diego sun feels on a summer afternoon, the way Tom's lengthening hair keeps falling into his eyes when he laughs, but he can never feel like this again, and he knows it.

It's 1995, and Mark's collapsed in a crappy van after an outside show, sweaty and exhausted and proud. He barely focused on the music, on the way his fingers always strayed from the correct notes. Tom was a star, a supernova in sky full of clouds. Outshining everyone. He tended to do that. His energy was contagious, eyes alight with a passionate kind of fire, the one that ignites when he's doing something he loves. Mark knows this because he knows Tom. He will always know Tom, no matter how much time passes. No matter how far a distance seperates them. He's sure of that.

It's 1996, and Mark's kissing Tom in the safety of their motel room. It's small and smells like something died in a corner and was never swept away, but it's private and that's enough. Tom has one hand under Mark's shirt and another tangled in his hair, and Mark is begging him to go farther, to follow through while they have the chance. But Tom is focused on their careers, no matter how much he knows he wants it too. We'll be gone before we even get started, he whispers, guilt flashing in his eyes as he pulls away, That's just the way it goes.

It's 1997, and Mark's in Tom's basement, writing riff and lyrics together, singing the two sides to a melody that only they know. Mark tries to concentrate on the music because he knows that's what matters to Tom, but every line he gets down sounds alike, every note the same tone. Tom is on fire, eliciting pitches from his guitar that Mark didn't even know existed. And his lyrics are more than just words. They're a truth and god, how Mark wants it's to be real, this thing they've got. Tom scribbles down another line on the paper in front of him, the tip of his tongue poking through his lips. I wish it didn't have to be so bad.

But it's not 1994. It's not 1995, or 1996, or 1997. It's 2007 and Mark's sitting in the bathtub, clothed, with the cold water on full blast, a half-empty bottle of wine clutched in one of his shaking hands. No matter how deep he drowns them, the demons of his being always drag themselves to the surface, forcing him to watch as his life crumbles, knowing he can do nothing to stop it's inevitable ruin.

I wish it didn't have to be so bad.

There was a time when Mark couldn't have gone a few hours without talking to Tom, but recently those hours have stretched in days months, years. His absence tore a hole in Mark's heart, and no amount of time can heal it. He's sure of it. All he's left with is Tom's ghost, whispering bitterly in his ear when Mark's alone with his thoughts.

That's just the way it goes.

[karsticlife]

x

[karsticlife]

Tomarktober Day 24: Running

Tom was running. Again. The door had slammed behind him, indicating that he had not decided to follow. Thank God.

His legs had gone numb awhile back, but still he pushed them to go as far as they could possibly take him.

He could feel something warm running down his arm, and he wasn't surprised by the sight of blood running down his arm and falling to the asphalt below. He welcomed the pain. That is, until his sneaker caught on a rut in the path and he went spiraling face first into the road.

Feeling the rocks embed themselves deep in his skin, he sits up, palms and cheeks burning.

He had never felt so defeated in all 16 years of his life. He drags himself to the side walk, blood trickling down his legs. Staring at his shoes, he feels the fight leave him. He had no more tears left to cry. He was numb.

When he pulls himself to his feet hours later, dusk has fallen over the neighborhood like a cloud, heavy and musky and suffocating.

He doesn't even remember starting to walk, only that his feet have a place in mind, one his brain doesn't need to lead him to. His heart can do that all on its own.

Mark opens the door on the first knock, his face falling at the bruised and defeated boy on his door step, who's holding in every emotion that wants to take over, his face screwed up in determination.

Mark pulls Tom inside, letting the light cast it's glow on his day old markings, on the splotches of blood covering his visable skin.

"What did he do to you?" Mark whispers, holding the now shaking boy impossibly closer to his chest.

Tom doesn't answer, still struggling against the turmoil rolling through him like a stormy sea, but it's a losing battle, his resolve crumbling under Mark's gaze.

The tears roll down his cheeks before he can stop them, and he wipes them away angrily as Mark shushes him, stroking the fine hairs on the back to Tom's neck.

They make their way to the haven of Mark's bedroom, Mark urging Tom to stay quiet as they tiptoe past his parent's room.

Most of the night has passed by the time they're in Mark's bed with the covers pulled as high as they can go, the only noise the occasional click and whir of the ceiling fan spinning above them.

Tom starts to tremble again, but Mark mumbles clumsy reassurances until his breathing evened out, till the tears had dried cool on his face and the sobs had died unheard in the back to his throat.

Even after he knows Tom is asleep, Mark keeps talking, breathing from where his nose is buried in Tom's rumpled hair, promising him security over and over as many times as Tom needs to hear it, even in his subconscious.

"You'll always be safe with me."

[karsticlife]

[karsticlife]

I desire... zee fluff

But I suck... at writing zee fluff 😔

Tomarktober Day 22: Cuddle

The clock had hardly reset itself to 1 from 12, the sun barley starting it's slow decent from the sky, but Tom was already in bed, settling down for an afternoon nap.

He had just closed his eyes, pleasantly warm under the covers, when he heard the bedroom door open and felt the blanket lift as someone else climbed in.

Tom hums in surprise, welcoming the body curling next to his.

"Hey, honey," he whispers, wrapping an arm around Mark's frame, who nuzzles closer in response. "You okay?"

Mark doesn't respond at first, too intent on making himself comfortable with Tom's chest as his pillow. When he deems himself settled, he nods slightly, his hair getting caught in the crook of Tom's arm.

"Jus' sleepy," he mumbles, eyes already shut as if to prove himself.

"I'll bet," Tom replies, laughing quietly, "You hardly slept at all last night."

Mark flushes a light red at the memory of the previous night, when his insomnia had gripped him so hard and long he had tossed and turned for the better half of it, at one point accidentally shoving a snoring Tom off the side of the bed.

He had felt so bad afterwards, no matter how much Tom reassured him that it was fine, that he insisted sleeping on the couch by himself the rest of the night.

"I said I was sorry," Mark whines, opening his bright blue eyes to glare at Tom indignantly.

"I knew you were," Tom crooks, stroking Mark's long brown locks, gently twisting the stands between his fingers.

Mark huffs in annoyance, but accepts the touch, lifting his head and baring his toned neck. Tom slips his hand to cup Mark's cheek, rubs his thumb lightly over his closed eyelids before bending his fingers under his chin and pulling his face closer to his own.

He lightly brushes his lips against Mark's, no more than a fleeting touch, but the older boy's eyes fly open in surprise.

He accepts it eagerly, reaching his own hand up to cling to Tom's neck. They seperate reluctantly, Mark still gazing into Tom's warm brown eyes, savoring every moment of their love.

They fall asleep not minutes later, tangled in each other's arms.

[karsticlife]

That gif set did terrible, terrible things to me

[karsticlife]

covering a song by the first band you fell in love with about the tragic end of a relationship, about the resignation that comes with the feeling that it's over, "resignation in the face of inevitable change", even as you keep on pretending, and you're watching it all crash against the wall and you can't do anything to stop it or prevent it, and you're singing this song on stage with the boy that you loved once before everything went wrong, and you can't talk to him anymore, and you hate him and you love him and your relationship is ruined and you've written so many songs about it and it didn't change a single thing and you're months away from breaking up for good and not talking to each other for YEARS and you can barely even look at him and you're so angry and so sad and so bitter, and it all comes out as you're playing this song

and he!!!!!!!!!! he throws EVERYTHING into playing this song, shredding on his knees and being so focused on getting it right, because he might not fucking stand you anymore, but he loved the kid you were, and maybe he still loves you, too, and he knows that this band means everything to you, and it meant everything to you when you were a kid, and this performance is SO important to you and he can still do this for you!!!! the love is always there, even now, and it doesn't change anything!!!!!