karolencina

[karolencina]

sometimes i think about the friday train trips to the city and walking to the hotel at night in my black fur coat. no one else will ever feel this way. fancy but secret. and knowledgeable but quiet. melancholic but proud. i had my freedom and unshared passion and sat on wooden stairs while drinking wine with the man with curls. we talked about beach, waterfalls, carelessness and artificial intelligence. he almost made me fall asleep on him because his skin was warm in november but i had to wake up at 6 so i left at 3. i ate ham and eggs and listened to love is a bitch by two feet on my way to geometric drawing lesson.

[karolencina]

8.8.2019 17:55

Po dlhom čase som tu zas. Obklopená južnými rovinami sa znovu cítim malá vo veľkom svete a doma. Iba stojím a vdychujem suchý vzduch a vôňu sena a zlatého obilia. Aké je to neuveriteľné vidieť slnko zapadať za ďalekým horizontom. Po deviatich rokoch na to nie som zvyknutá, vídavam ho zapadať za vysokými horami, čo je samo o sebe krásne, ale nie je to to, čo mi pripomína začiatok života a pocit, že všetko je tak, ako to má byť. Tu je všetko svetlé a žlté; kvety, polia, jazerá, stromy - chýba mi to a vždy bude. Zachvíľu tú krásu budem mať od seba ešte ďalej, za morom.

[karolencina]

I will keep on listening to Arctic Monkeys until the bad memories are overwritten and I’m numb again.

[karolencina]

The city freeze for I just realised I don’t like you.

[karolencina]

A new thought crossed my mind today. What if my rosy retrospection is too intense? I feel like I disapprove of the present because the past was so much bettter - in my mind. I keep picturing the brightest future which never turns out to be just as bright as well and my so my poor present self is constantly torn between my past and my future but never my present.

[karolencina]

And if you’re in love then you are the lucky one cause most of us are bitter over someone.