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The parents meeting as they bail out their kids…

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After re-reading my post, I remembered something!

Back to Stiles' Jeep, again. In the first season, Derek returned to the burned-out house to painful, but valuable, important memories. Despite the pain, he returns to something important and valuable, in an effort to save even what has already "burnt down", he decided to fix Stiles' jeep. He has a memory of Stiles that he "hates" because it hurts him that Stiles isn't around. (Just like how Stiles was hurt when Derek left in season 4.) And oh my god, I see that as Derek's hallmark: he tries to keep the important things that remind him of the people he loves, even if they hurt him. Although Stiles did the same with the Jeep, the Jeep was dear to Stiles, he managed to abandon it, and it hurts me.

Now, looking back at Season 4, when Dereka left, can we assume that Stiles has any tangible reminders of Derek, because this family definitely has a tendency to obsess over things and places, which is the physical evidence of their memory. Damn, these two need to talk to each other or I'll go crazy!

Now I can't wait to ask if Stiles still has any of Derek's stuff from Season 4? Does Stiles still have Derek's bloodied T-shirt from Season 1? (although it would be creepy and strange, but still). I'm going crazy, I love these two so much!

P.S. video author: DANTOMDH

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Oh, now I think the show didn't really show their face-to-face interactions, I mean their actual conversations with each other in private. I still remember a part of Derek's dream where you can see the important intimacy and rapport between Stiles and Derek! The scenes of their interactions, presented in the show as *action*, such as pinning Stiles against the door of his room. What about when Derek was brought back to his 16 year old self? And the scene when he caught Stiles in a lie and Stiles repeated several times "don't run away, stay here" (I don't remember the phrase verbatim, so I'm writing the general meaning), can we assume that Derek often unexpectedly visited Stiles' room and just as often and suddenly left him? Could this have bothered Stiles? Yes, on the show, it's just a moment of angst due to terrified teenager Derek escaping, but still... Now I'm a little sad that I didn't get a chance to see them interact and have full-fledged deep dialogues.

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OMG, I just looked at a couple of gifs... And it dawned on me!!! In psychology, there is a concept - "psychological defenses" - that is, these are not conscious defenses that our psyche uses to survive any traumatic situations... I just love the topic of defense mechanisms, because thanks to them you can really understand what kind of injuries were in your childhood and how it affects your behavior now. I love this topic because I just had an incredible sight when I went through all the defense mechanisms and analyzed in relation to me.

So I see Derek's behavior as a defense mechanism - reaction formation. Derek uses it a lot with Stiles, especially in seasons 1-3 (although not only with him, but I'm going to focus on those two). What is the purpose of this defense mechanism? This mechanism is literally the epitome of the genre: "love/hate". With this type of defense mechanism, a person replaces some of his emotions with others, OPPOSITE to the original ones. That is, if a person loves, then he begins to show aggressive behavior or hatred (this is demonstrated in order to hide inner interest). This is the very situation when a person does unpleasant, annoying things in order to attract attention to himself, thereby showing his interest and love, through aggression and annoying behavior, etc. because of the fear of rejection (this may reflect falling in love and interest. BUT NOT ALWAYS!!! If someone harms you, this does not mean that he is just in love with you, sometimes harm is a reflection of cruelty and only cruelty).

So, come to think of it, Derek really doesn't want Stiles to touch him? After all, he was literally the first to violate Stiles' personal space by infiltrating him in aggressive ways. Derek clearly has problems expressing emotions (yes, non-verbal monologues and a special "eyebrow language" do not count! The bottom line is that Derek does not talk about his emotional state with others at all, the question of his emotional state is often hidden from others). If you take into account the problems with expressing their feelings, trying to survive everything alone (on their own), frequent (relatively) changing partners and generally changing their place of residence, repeating an unsuccessful relationship script, death of loved ones (obviously, Derek is a traumatized kitten. Although in "Teen Wolf" - everyone is traumatized to one degree or another), and therefore Derkk probably developed an avoidant type of attachment, as a result of which he is afraid, very afraid of falling in love, since the fear of betrayal and rejection, rejection of his personality by those he loves, is basis of his personality. Because he blames himself a lot and considers himself insufficiently capable of protecting others, having a high desire to do so, I think he feels "not good enough, talented and capable enough." And he is probably afraid of making mistakes, but at the same time he often jumps to conclusions and strives to quickly fix the problem (and this is ironic).

I think the more Derek felt affection, gratitude, admiration and a desire to protect, to keep safe (not to forget the wine). In terms of being in love, the warmer and safer he felt with Stiles, the scarier it was to get close to him. Because Stiles becomes unbearably significant, so significant that one no, one rejection, a reaction of disgust, and it reflects the unbearable pain inside Derek, it breaks him. Therefore, with big, sincere and deep feelings comes a great fear of being in these relationships, feelings, you want to run away, sometimes even literally on a physical level, from the object of love, which Derek did (leaving). So it seems to me that Derek may well have suffered from "unrequited love" for Stiles, but it is unrequited not because he was rejected, but because he was so afraid of rejection that he never admitted his feelings. And I would like more stories where exactly Derek is internally not confident in himself, his strengths and is afraid of being rejected, but outwardly he shows detachment and coldness, because this looks like his usual behavior (at least for me).

Stiles, by the way, during seasons 1-3 was more confident than Derek and remains (relatively) more balanced compared to Derek, despite all the events, he remains true to himself and is still quite confident in his abilities. That's why I like Stiles Stilinski. And Stiles knows that he has the right to make a mistake, he allows himself to be wrong - and this is a healthy moment of acceptance of himself and his own possibilities. I don't really like it when Stiles is portrayed as an insecure teenager, because he's not, he's actually quite confident in himself.

Derek hates Stiles' Jeep? Oh no, definitely not. He hates that Eli steals that Jeep. Because it doesn't let Derek forget his feelings, but he definitely doesn't hate Stiles' Jeep.

P.S. There are a lot of defense mechanisms, and it takes a lot of time to analyze them all in detail for a character, which I don’t have. But you can read articles about defense mechanisms on your own - it's very interesting and it seems to me that they don't talk much about this in psychology, this is basic knowledge, but in the media space it's not so common, and if you have a sufficiently developed reflection skill, it can become interesting experience for you. And yes, of course, I chose a defense mechanism that was in favor of Sterek and could confirm the love format of their relationship. In fact, of course, there was a moment of distrust on Derek's part and his fear of betrayal by others, so he chose an aggressive model of behavior towards a person (but he still violated Stiles' personal space, so the possibility of unconscious attraction cannot be denied). I do not pretend to be reliable, I just like to analyze and come up with theories.

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Okay, okay, I'm haunted by the idea that most (if not all?) of Stiles and Derek's interaction scenes are shot close-up and, damn it, does that create an atmosphere of closeness and understanding between the characters? This is not even talking about their conversations with eyebrows and glances, there is something special about it. Derek also often watches Stiles' movements, actions, he often turns his head to him and actually "scans" his reaction. How to say... This behavior is familiar to me, I often observe the reactions and actions of my loved ones, sometimes because I want to protect them, and sometimes just because I enjoy their emotions and reactions. It haunts me... These head turns to each other, these looks are very similar to an expression of care, tenderness, intimacy and understanding, which is what the closest people do.

What about the fact that it was Stiles who was in Derek's dream and helped him find the line between reality and dream? I think Derek feels safe around Stiles. It would seem that the phrase: "you think that Stiles, skinny defenseless Stiles, is the Nogitsune, a powerful, dark spirit." says that Derek conditionally thinks Stiles is "weak"... But guys! We all understand that this is not true at all! We know a lot of brave and even heroic deeds that Stiles did and saved Derek more than once. Derek trusts Stiles, he's learned to trust him, and Derek knows exactly how strong and brave this "troublesome teenager" and later incredibly smart, talented, manly man really is. And heck, I think Stiles is Derek's island of safety and tranquility, Stiles could be Derek's anchor (or he is already his anchor? I don't remember what the official sources said, sorry).

It seems to me that on a subconscious level, Derek cannot fully trust women (because they repeatedly betrayed him and traumatized him), so he cannot create a deep trusting connection with them, somewhere deep down there will always be fear and pain.

Derek accepts Stiles' support. (a fleeting scene with the right word. Support in the eyes. Hand on the shoulder, etc). What about a couple of moments where Derek literally demanded support from Stiles? And you know, it's so touching. I mean Derek's reaction to Stiles' support, he didn't expect it but he needed it so much! He did not expect that someone would show him a small gesture of care, understanding and acceptance (that very surprised and grateful look) - just like that. And Stiles does not do all this for himself, he helped and supported, because this is the essence of Stiles Stilinski - these are small but important gestures. He knows how important support, patience and understanding are! Stiles knows because he's been through a lot, a lot of pain since childhood, he just seems like a fun, hyperactive, carefree guy, but he's not, we all know he isn't! And he always, always was close to the pack, always helped and supported, he did it not for the sake of profit, he does it because he knows how to love and appreciate people close to him. Derek is afraid to trust others, Derek is afraid to open up to others, he was betrayed, he was used and he constantly lost loved ones, no one ever (even his own uncle) did anything for him just like that. And Stiles cares, helps, supports - simply because he knows, understands, feels that Derek and others need it. You understand? From Stiles - Derek for the first time in a long time feels gratuitous care, support, he does not require anything from Derek, he gives what he has. And Derek is the character who is able to fully appreciate this incredibly important and meaningful gesture for him. Sincere care, gratuitous help, dedication - that's who Stiles Stilinski is.

And I still remember the movie and Stiles' jeep and the importance, the importance, the value of that jeep to Derek, gosh guys, it's so important! Just... Let's just agree that Stiles for Derek is the personification of security and support, this is a home where you can (or at least once he could) return and receive protection, mostly mental, but also physical (he hid in the room Stiles and other scenes). On a physical level, Derek thinks Stiles is weak compared to werewolves. But let's be honest, Stiles is smart not only in the intellectual sphere and the ability to quickly process and assimilate information, but also has high social intelligence (empathy and the ability to understand, choose words. Give the right compliment. Find the right words to save a friend from suicide. High susceptibility to someone else's pain, etc.).

RESULTS

Stiles and Derek have a deep emotional connection, more from Derek than Stiles. You can see this in a lot of scenes, the pool scene where Stiles proves for the first time that he doesn't need protection and support, Derek does. And Derek almost always turned to Stiles when he needed help and information. Back in the movie, he suggests Noah call Stiles! Derek needs Stiles' support. (Stiles never asked for help directly, he always tried to figure things out on his own, which is really the position, but that's not what we're talking about here.)

Jeep Styles is a memory, a home for Derek. This is a reminder of the support, care and help that Derek needed and still needs. These are the remains of a safe island called Stiles.

P.S. That's all. I have so many feelings, so many thoughts, I think it's important to remember those little things in between! Well, if anything, I do not pretend to any reliability, I just analyze, think and talk about the moments that are important to me! And yes, I hope my English is not too bad, the idea is clear and the text is readable.

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Nobody:

Absolutely nobody:

Nogitsune:🌚

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If someone knows the author of the drawing I borrowed, please write it in the comments!!!

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Yep it's me:

:)

sociophobia, with panic attacks + avoidant type of attachment... And also a cute bunch of energy who loves his fandoms!)