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MCU but only the messy bits (8/?) - requested by anon

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Come catch me on Sunday for Flip the Script! RSVP Here: http://rsvp.flipthescript.today/

BIPOC & BDSM: Essential Lessons for All Kinky Folx Panel and discussion led by Venus Cuffs

From the terminology used in BDSM dynamics, to what kinky folx are incorporating into their play, it’s time to have a thoughtful and honest discussion about how we can all do better. Our goal is to inform and educate all kinky folx about ethical interactions when playing with BIPOC and about the issues that directly affect BIPOC in BDSM.

BIPOC & BDSM: How To Diversify Kinky Spaces Panel and discussion led by Venus Cuffs

Have you ever gone to a kinky event and not felt welcomed? That is the experience that most Black people have had. Most sex positive spaces lack diversity. Whether you organize events, attend events, are a sex educator, or are just curious… This is a panel you should attend..It’s time to have a thoughtful and honest discussion about how we can all do better.

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If I ask nicely will people reblog this or do I have to be clever and funny or something too?

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All I Want For Christmas is $1🎄

Sooooo, as you all know, I’m a freelancer. In terms of work, this year went from really great to AWFUL very quickly for me. I survived though, with my savings and with your continued love + support. 2020 is looking freaking amazing so far though and I can’t wait to share what I’m working on with you all! Things are finally turning around but I still need a little help to get past January 1st since work/payments aren’t happening before the new year.   

This time, I’m asking to raise $1300 for January rent ($1200, I know, I live in New York) and utilities ($100). If you’re able to, send me $1. If you send more and are interested in my social media copywriting/writing editing services, send me a message.

If you totally do not want to, feel COMPLETELY free to ignore this post. 

CashApp

PayPal

Venmo

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We’re Back!!!

For Hire: Audition is finally available as a Paperback and an eBook!!!

Like we did with Operator, we’re hosting a release party at famous Amalgam Comics and Coffeehouse (2578 Frankford Ave. in Philadelphia) on December 4th 6pm.

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Kevin A. Patterson and Alana Phelan are back with the second book in the For Hire series, Audition. This time our story follows Vanessa Copeland and Camille "B-Girl" Baston. Vanessa is a young barista who's lost her way. She's got powers she doesn't want to use and a dream she can't see through. B-Girl is veteran superhero with a career that never really got off the ground. Together they'll see if they can find fulfillment in a world determined to deny it.

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AfroPunk 2019

Photographer: Shantoria Divine

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So for those of you who don’t know yet, I just got fired for being trans.

Let’s get some things straight before I dive in:

While this IS a post asking for donations, don’t feel obligated to donate or reblog (though I would very, VERY much love a reblog from anyone willing, don’t feel pressured).

I WILL NOT BE RESPONDING TO POSTS FROM ANYONE TRYING TO CONVINCE ME I WAS NOT “ACTUALLY” FIRED FOR BEING TRANS, NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE. If you read my story and try and argue I will ignore and block you. This was an extremely traumatizing event for me and I’m not here to argue about whether or not it was actually discrimination. I know what I know and I have already had MANY lawyers tell me “yes you have a strong case for discrimination here and could definitely sue” so don’t even try it.

(This one is most important): IF YOU ARE A TERF, TRUSCUM, ACE/ARO EXCLUSIONIST, NAZI, WHITE SUPREMACIST, TRUMP SUPPORTER, OR HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME USING IDENTITY TERMS FOR MYSELF LIKE QUEER, DYKE, BUTCH, ETC, DO NOT TOUCH THIS POST. IT IS NOT FOR YOU.

Feel free to message me if you require proof of my termination or s/t so you know I’m legit. I understand wanting to make sure people on here aren’t fakes, but I’m avoiding PUBLICLY posting details that would reveal the company’s name or who the people involved are, due to the fact I fully intend to sue, or at least settle out of court. I’m not messing this up by posting too much about them specifically on social media.

IF ANYONE HERE KNOWS OF GOOD TRANS/EMPLOYMENT LAWYERS THAT WORK IN CALIFORNIA AND ARE WILLING TO WORK ON CONTINGENCY, PLEASE CONTACT ME WITH YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS. ALL OTHER LEGAL ADVICE IS WELCOME IF YOU ARE SOMEWHAT KNOWLEDGEABLE ON THE SUBJECT. 

HERE’S THE LINKS TO HELP FINANCIALLY. EVERY DOLLAR COUNTS, AND THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.

CASHAPP: $thickbiqueen PAYPAL :  moreofalark

Here’s how it all went down, (under the readmore in as short an explanation as possible, if you care about the details). I don’t want to clog y’all’s dashes so refer above for links to my PayPal and CashApp

Keep reading

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Mx Nillin

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

Personally? Less than 5 years. I’ve been non-monogamous with my nesting partner, Falon, for about 4 years now, but neither of us explicitly identified as polyamorous until we started seeing our best friend Kate about a year ago. 

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

Falon and I are legally married and live together in a tiny apartment with a cat and two guinea pigs. We’re in a romantic, sexual, and emotional relationship with our best friend, Kate, who lives on her own a short drive across town.

Kate doesn’t want to ever get married or live with anybody else. She really values having her own place to herself and so do we, so, it just works out for everybody really well! We all see each other multiple times a week, binge watching Netflix shows, playing nerdy tabletop games, going on date nights, checking out local events, or trying out threesome positions for ourselves and then blogging about them [http://mxnillin.com/will-it-threesome-double-dip/] LOL

Though Fal, Kate, and I are in a closed polyamorous triad together, we’re all still non-monogamous to a degree. Each of us has a friend or two we sometimes share nudes and flirt with outside of our relationship, but the three of us are all romantically committed to each other.

3. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at?

Ugh, honestly, I wouldn’t say that I “excel” at anything so much as I’m just doing the best I can to look after my own health and wellness while also striving to be the best partner I can be to Kate and Falon.

I used to be REALLY bad at the whole self-care thing and it lead to a lot of fear, anxiety, insecurities, and jealousy in my past relationships. I almost exclusively relied on those who I was intimate with to just comfort me until I felt better. In some cases, I put the entire onus of my mental and emotional health onto my past partners. Unsurprisingly, that created some incredibly fucking unhealthy behaviors as I sought out a pretty constant supply of comfort, validation, and assurance from them in order for me to feel happy and secure in those relationships.

That’s not so much an issue for me anymore, and I’m really proud of that because it has taken a lot of hard work to unlearn those toxic behaviors, develop healthier personal habits, and overall better communicate with the people who I love. I’m also much more on top of taking my anti-depressant pills, and going in to see my counsellor, when necessary.

That’s not to say I’m some stoic, chill master of my emotions or anything. Insecurities still crop up, jealousy sometimes rears its head, and on occasion a little validation is appreciated, but I think all of that is pretty natural

4. What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with?

The stigma. Holy shit, the stigma

I‘ve never loved two people at the same time, and in the same ways, before. I’ve never been committed to two partners at once before. Like, it’s no exaggeration when I say that my relationship with Falon and Kate has shattered my entire perspective of life, love, family, the institution of marriage, identity, politics, and so much more.

And all for the better, I might add!

But polyamory isn’t something you see reflected back at you by society, especially not in any sort of positive, judgement-free way. It’s not a relationship structure that’s even sorta socially, politically, governmentally, or economically accepted, let alone widely acknowledged, talked about, written about, ore seen out in public. And it sure as shit isn’t represented in a lot in literature, or art, or media of any kind… at least not in ways that don’t tend to be fetishizing or tragic. 

I mean, when’s the last time you’ve seen any sort of show about an everyday non-binary queer navigating life with their poly family? Never? Yeah, me neither.

All of this has led to us having to pretty regularly endure super shitty, awkward situations of us having to be in the closet depending on who we’re interacting with at any given time. Trying to remember who you’re out to, and who is SAFE to be out to, is exhausting and stressful for us all.

And that fucking blows. Yet it’s oftentimes necessary for all our safety.

5. How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

I talk about it with my partners. A lot. We check in with each other pretty often and we don’t let difficult discussions go undiscussed for long. 

And I write about it too! Maybe too much at times haha.

I find that by putting myself out there, speaking up about my experiences and relationships, it has helped me empower others in their poly relationships while offering me the opportunity to learn from them as well. Especially other sex bloggers, writers, and workers.

I’ve also surrounded myself with a pretty amazing little family of queer and trans folks who have been wonderful supports in my life.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Clear, concise, honest communication has been key. Fal, Kate, and I are all aware of each other’s past partners and we’ve all tested ourselves for STI’s. Currently, we’re all fluid-bonded together, so, condom usage isn’t really there like it used to be. However, we still make sure to boil any sex toys that are shared (between uses), keep our nails trimmed, use lube as needed, and generally make sure that we’re listening to and respecting each other’s boundaries.

7. What is the worst mistake you’ve ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that? 

Not sure if this is really a polyamory mistake so much as it is a boundaries issue. A couple years ago, shortly after Falon and I were married, I had JUST started blogging about how non-monogamy worked for us when we became good friends with somebody we had met through our local LGBTQ+ community. Early on in the friendship, the three of us mutually masturbated together, but we were very explicit in expressing that we were not looking for a relationship of any kind and that the three-way ‘bating was just for fun and probably not a regular thing. 

End of story, right?

Not so much. While Fal and I felt that we were very clear, and that our friend had understood, he instead doubled down. Over the months that followed, he ended up inserting himself into our relationship in a lot of invasive ways that on their own looked innocent enough, but when considered all at once were actually quite manipulative. Then one day he tries to show up at our house to talk with Falon, and when they said they weren’t feeling comfortable taking right now (he was being very pushy) he just forced the conversation anyway by professing his love to them. Oh, and me too, but only as an afterthought when Falon made it clear they were NOT interested.

Things went downhill from there really fast as we started to realize the real degree of his intrusiveness, complete with finding out he had been self-sabotaging opportunities for himself because he had this thought in his head that we’d all live up living together.

Anyway, it’s a long story overall but Fal and I learned a lot about what we were and weren’t comfortable with and set even cleared boundaries with others. That whole thing was bad enough that it almost turned us off from non-monogamy and polyamory altogether though. Luckily, we worked through it because several months after that gong show things started up with Kate, which has been amazing!

8. What self-identities are important to you? How do you feel like polyamory intersects with or affects those identities?

I am a fat, queer, non-binary, loud, foul-mouthed sex blogger with hairy tits, a girl cock, and a full-on fetish for actively subverting social roles and expectations… so of course I’m also polyamorous haha. Seriously though, over the last several years I’ve radically transformed myself as a person, to better reflect who I’ve always been but didn’t feel safe or confident being until my late twenties. I had to, because if I didn’t I was on the fast track to self-destruction [but that’s another story entirely]. 

Now, for the first time ever, I feel empowered to live my life as my authentic self and it turns out that a big part of that has included being polyamorous. Monogamy, at least in how it exists in our culture, has always felt incredibly restrictive, uncomfortable, and toxic to me personally; whereas falling in love with Falon and Kate, opening myself up to them both and forming our queer little polycule, has felt like the most natural thing in the world to me since I came out as queer and trans.

(Bonus: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you are involved with that you would like to promote?)

You can find the vast majority of my work on my blog at www.mxnillin.com. One of the most popular features there is “Mx Nillin Fucks”, a blog post series in which I stick my girl cock in a wide variety of inanimate objects, mostly foods so far,  as makeshift masturbation sleeves and write about how good or bad it is. This year is themed “Back to Basics” and has focused on classic masturbation items (banana peels, socks, DIY penetrables, melons, etc.). Outside of this you can also find me regularly participating in #SexEdPornReviews tweets for The Crash Pad Series.

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Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at  https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

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Update: From Jenny Han’s Opinion piece on New York Times

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THIS NIGGA SAID HE DON’T DATE BLACK WOMEN

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We've hit 25% of our goal already!!!

So we're updating with a profile for our main character, Sana! Thank you for all the love and support. Let's share this around! 

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/for-hire-operator-books/twtr/17370333#/updates/2

Day Two!!!

After only one day we’re already at 18% to our goal! We’ve gone ahead and added a pair of Perks that can get your name or your face included in the book itself!

Exciting right? Well, we’re excited!

Tomorrow and every Friday, we’ll be releasing a new Behind the Scenes video offering character profiles and insight into the writing process for both Kevin and Alana!

Much love and support!!

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This is what white supremacy looks like.

Both illegal and legal immigrantion…it was never about legal immigration, it was always about white supremacy.

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Word.

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You know, this is beyond amazing. This beyond aspiring. Giving back to your communities. Making long lasting changes. Lebron has definitely proved himself a man worthy of praise.

Here’s to the future these children attending this school so rightly deserve.

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When Swingset takes over, the kink-factor rises dramatically!!!

@polyrolemodels

Every year Life on the Swingset hosts a full takeover of the greatest place on Earth:

Desire Resort Riviera Maya in Cancún, Mexico.

Desire is an all-inclusive resort, boasting a beautiful beach, pool, and hot tub, four excellent restaurants, three full bars, and, most importantly, space to be yourself. Our takeover is the most inclusive and geeky trip that Desire sees all year with theme nights, educational events, and entertainment for straight couples as well as every letter in the LGBTQIA+ rainbow. 

Events: Live Nude Karaoke • Foam Parties • Dungeon Disco BDSM Night • Live Podcasting • Demos of Pegging, Fisting, & Flogging • Speed Dating • Wine & Beer Tastings • Costume Theme Nights • Orgies & Gang Bangs “Truly the sex positive vacation of a lifetime!” - Tristan Taormino For more info: SSDesire.com

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boon cotter (lighting artist for naughty dog), shutting down homophobes and misogynists on twitter. (x)