kamil07

[kamil07]

When are you going to make a change for yourself?

"Why are you so shy?" It's a straightforward question that often leaves me speechless. I experience a vacant mind accompanied by the sound of a heartbeat. If you are someone who struggles with shyness, you truly understand the experience. At the same time, you recognize the difficulty in overcoming and managing it.

A lot of individuals prefer having numerous friends and connecting with a variety of people. They enjoy social interactions and engaging in discussions. However, this stands in contrast to those who allow shyness to dictate their behavior.

What is shyness?

According to ABCT Up to 80% of people report that they were shy at some time in their lives. Forty percent describe themselves as shy now.  Shyness is a feeling or emotion that we feel in an uncomfortable place, scenario and events. It is a common feeling when people are surrounded by different people and environments. It can trigger us to not make a choice and make decisions. The struggle to connect and create a conversation, even eye contact, make a first move and be dependent. It's a feeling of avoiding a spotlight, small talks and socializing.

The pandemic did not assist me in enhancing my inner self, but rather made me more aware of who I am. Transitioning from isolation during the pandemic to in-person classes was difficult for me, especially in terms of communication. I vividly recall my first presentation in my freshman year of college. I was ready, but my shyness completely undermined all my preparation. It creates an urgency in me to finish things swiftly, which causes me to shy away from making eye contact and often results in poor responses from me. As a result, over the past year, I heavily relied on others for every decision in class, especially regarding activities. Whenever there was a proposal to change something, I would simply respond with "okay!" or "it's up to you." In reality, sometimes it isn't alright; I use this as a way to evade discussions and avoid causing a scene over trivial issues.

How to conquer shyness?

Overcoming shyness can be quite challenging. Each individual has their own personal reasons for feeling this way. It requires self-awareness to understand how it originated—recognizing the cause within oneself. In some cases, it may stem from inherited traits or past trauma.

Inherited traits can arise from parents who struggle with communication and have created a small family. On the other hand, trauma can impede a person's confidence, preventing them from expressing their true selves. Understanding the root cause can help you begin to take small steps in confronting the challenge, even if it comes with sweaty palms, awkward body language, and an inability to maintain eye contact, which is still a significant accomplishment. You can then consider joining social groups. Joining is like a small step, but it is a big step to do it. With that, you will never realize that you are in a group that you can't imagine having. The importance of conquering is that it can improve yourselves by surrounding it and being comfortable to be with.

Shy vs. Quiet

“If you think shy, you act shy.”

By Arfa Karim

It always happens to me that when there's a recitation, I am always hesitant to recite because I am afraid that my answer was incorrect and they would judge my answer. 

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.”

By  Stephen Hawking

While quiet is the personality that a person doesn't want to talk about. Although they have a lot of thoughts in their mind, they tend to choose to be quiet, and there's no hesitation to do it.

Don't try to be what you're not. If you're nervous, be nervous. If you're shy, be shy.

by Adriana Lima

@joyceelline