kalopsius

[kalopsius]

“Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn’t have. Maybe there’s a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again.”

—

Carol Rifka Brunt

[kalopsius]

he would always be the first breath of winter.

your relationship with winter was as ambiguous as it was with him. sometimes, you would welcome the pricks of winter’s kisses on your face. on other days, it was the mere sight would leave you with dread for the incoming. nevertheless, you embraced its presence in your life and so did you did with him. the fear for what’s next never leaving the back of your mind.

winter came when the earth dies in the hands of the cold. soon, the world would be covered with a blanket of whiteness. a flawed perfection that a single touch would ruin its pureness, but you dared to.

you always thought would be prepared. people warned you about the outside, how it was just an illusion and, you were never to make it out without the cold nipping some part of your heart. zipping your jacket up just above your chest, you never believed it. and how foolish you were not to.

moving out the comfort of the familiar, you stepped out into the outside. you closed your eyes for a brief second, your chest rising up for a single inhale. the cold air of the outside mixing with the old air in your lungs as you breathe him in. the tingling of its spread reaching the depths of your insides. and just for a second, there was warmth.

but you were the fool that took too much of it in.

soon, your lungs would crush inwards on itself. the once tingling feelings erupts into stabbing pain. your insides burning from the after effects. you violently cough to expel any of it out, heaving over. but the cold air clings to every fiber of your insides. tears welling around your eyes. a single tear slips from your eyes, down your redden cheeks and lands on the snow. the tear soon swallowed by the darkness of the crushed snow underneath your feet.

you stare at the snow and 

and that was him.

[kalopsius]

I think that when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away.

(via teenagecrush)

[kalopsius]

your heart beat a little too fast for your own good. the clenching of your lungs every time, you were to take a breath almost sent you breathless. it wasn’t supposed to start this way, it never starts the way you want, but nevertheless, his name seems to forever float in the depth of your mind. the read text message with no reply can only haunt what could have been. should have been? it never could have been anything in the first place.

you were a fool that fell in love with someone you never had in the first place.

[kalopsius]

if only i could go back in time, part one.

.part one -> part two -> part three

kim jungwoo and you were from two different worlds.

soulmate au,  fluffyish angst  // 1.9K words

author’s note: apologies for my long hiatus!! < 3 i noticed that my bud, kim jungwoo didn’t have many stories about him and i had an idea in mind that i thought would fit perfectly for him. it will be three parts! updates will come pretty quickly since they are already all written. < 3 please enjoy!

to any normal person, a thirty-minute bus ride to university would an unwanted annoyance in one's day, but to kim jungwoo, it was a cherished time. as much as he loved the loud and never-ending chatter of his friends, debating on whether wooden pencils were better than mechanical  (he would argue the former) and the mellow voices of his professors lecturing on the history of art and as much as he hated the bumpiness of the roads ruining the chances of him drawing or the occasional screaming baby that the mother could not seem to console, it was a time that he could escape the reality of real life and be in his own world: staring at the swirls of buildings and life that passed back while soaking into the music that came through the wires of his phone. occasionally, If he felt it was safe, his sketchbook would be in his hand and, pencils would be balanced on whatever he thought would be stable.

and there was you, a kind distraction to the stresses in his life. you always sat in the second left row with earbuds in your ears and notebook and pencil in hand: always black and white, his favorite color. your blue backpack was leaned against the window, making soft thuds against the pane at every bump of the road. the tip of your pencil never seemed to leave the surface of the paper, always writing about something. You would always get on a stop after his and would be still on the bus when he left for university. It wasn't because of some huge event that jungwoo started to notice you, just the fact that he would see a familiar looking person on the bus. Over time, you had been a silent yet comforting companion in his journey called life. there weren't many constants in his life: art was forever evolving and so was friendships and relationship, but over time, you become one of his constant.

he knew he was running out of time in knowing you though. three months had passed since the first time he spotted in you in your seat and not even a stare or word had been exchanged between you two. still a stranger in his life, jungwoo was yet to learn of your age, occupation or anything about you. he hadn't even heard your voice before (it was probably as beautiful as your side angle, but jungwoo would never admit it, to much of lucas's dismay.)  every time he had an ounce of courage, it would always end the same, destroyed by the clouds of doubtful thoughts in his head. he thought it was foolish to be interested in someone that he didn't know, even the thought of it caused pinkness to flush his cheeks at first. despite this, the more times he spent bus rides with you, the more curious he had gotten about the stranger that also escaped reality on the same bus as him. several of months of trying later, he reluctantly had to settle with gazing at you from his seat in the corner of the bus, dreaming of who exactly was the person who would flood his thoughts and his sketchbook.

thousands of almost, but never a reality.

it wasn't until an early wednesday morning did fate finally work in his favor.

on this particular day, with fatigue in his lungs from running all the way from his apartment, he had arrived at the bus stop to the scene of a long line of people waiting for the bus.  it wasn't like jungwoo to run late. he had always prided himself on his time management skills, but he had his down days as well. puffing his cheeks out in frustration, he adjusted the straps of his backpack around his shoulder, the sketchbook peeking out of the openings. as the ride to university was long, he preferred to sit down to allow himself to draw before lectures: a long time habit of his. now with this line formed, he wasn't sure if it would apply to this morning. the familiar sound of the bus tires coming to stop caused him to look up from the line of people to the window just above where he was standing.

it was you in your typical spot on the bus.

just the sight of you foolishly caused a small smile to form on jungwoo's face. he probably looked like an idiot as he smiled at seemly nothing in particular while waiting his turn to enter the crowded bus, but as long as you didn't see him, he couldn't care less. let them think he was a fool. after a while of waiting, the familiar bus smell finally entered his nostrils. he glanced around the bus, trying to spot an empty red seat in the flood of other colors. his eyes landed on a single empty seat through the liter of bodies, next to you. before he could stop his rapidly pulsing heart from beating so fast due to the irrational anticipation and internal reasoning, a shove from behind caused him to stumble over his feet, falling right next to your seat.

before jungwoo could collect himself off the chair, you whipped your head away from your notebook toward the source of the sound, catching him red-handed and stunning him in his awkward position. it was the first time he had seen your full face and, it was nothing like the sketches that he had drawn of you. it was so much more. mere scratches on a piece of paper could not ever capture what jungwoo had finally caught a glance at. your eyes blinked at him, still widened slightly in a mixture of surprise and fright.

it was the slamming of your writing book close that finally broke the trance that jungwoo was in. embarrassed that your first impression of him was him falling for you (as cliche as it was), he clumsily sat next to you, a pinkish and red hue covered his face and the back of his neck. a flash of an emotion that he couldn't catch crossed your pupils before you stared down again at your notebook in your lap. he stayed in a rigid position, back straight and staring at the back of the chair in front of him. not even taking out his sketchbook and absentmindedly fiddling with the pages could stop the flood of thoughts that bounced around in his head, not one could coherently be understood. it couldn't prevent the clamminess of hands that he attempted to wipe on his jeans, but could never seem to erase, no matter how he tried.

jungwoo finally let out the breath that he had been holding for almost twenty minutes (or what seemed like twenty minutes) when the familiar scenery of his university rolled through the window. not taking a second glance at you, he hurriedly rushed off the bus, bumping into people and chairs alike. not noticing the thud of something of his falling to the floor of the bus, the only thought of his mind was to leave the bus and save the shiver of reputation that he had with you. it was until the rumble of the bus finally in the distant when a sigh of regret escaped his partly opened lips. he had been granted a chance to get to know you and, he had wasted it on controlling his emotions and cowering in fear.

he just hoped there was a next time with you.

jungwoo stepped off the bus the next day with disappointment and regret from the day before pumping its way back to his system. The day was cursed with a lost sketchbook and a crowded bus, meaning that he didn't even have a chance to approach you if he wanted to. Tens of minutes of self-talk before he got on the bus later, it resulted in the same shyness that he had experienced for the last couple months, not even daring to glance in your direction. So even if he wanted to face you, he wouldn't have had the courage. (he was looking through the corners of his eye at you, but it would be something that he would never admit.)

"excuse me." a faint voice from behind him called out in his direction. unable to distinguish whether it was for him or an invisible stranger standing right now to him , jungwoo turned around to see your running form coming toward. breathless from your chase out of the bus and on to the sidewalk, you leaned on your knees to catch your breath before finally facing him. jungwoo, frozen in his stance at your sudden appearance in front of him, could only take in your appearance and think of nothing else.: flushed cheeks, backpack slung loosely over your shoulders and a familiar looking book in your hand.

"my sketchbook!"

a sheepish smile crossed his face the minute those words escaped his lips without registering in his brain. you only smiled and handed him the book, which he graciously took with several bows and 'thank you' accompanying it.

"are you an art major?"

just a simple question sent him inside into a crumbling mess, fumbling over his sketchbook and his finger. still filled with a disbelief that you, the stranger that he had been admiring, had finally noticed his presence, jungwoo stumbled over his words replying with a simple and soft 'yes'.

an unexpected silence fell upon you two. his mind raced through all the questions that he wanted to ask you, but not one could be coherently formed into words. your pinkish lips turning upwards into a smile before you broke the silence, introducing yourself.  he learned you were a literature major, around his age and from the university nearby his. light-hearted conversation ensured afterwards with him trying to hide the fact that there were flocks of butterflies trying to escape his stomach, filled with moments of silence with you popping in to dive into another subject matter. after a while of you both started to walk aimlessly in some direction, he gulped nervously, shuffling his sketchbook around from hand to hand once again. This caused you to stop walking and glance up at him. despite that you had looked into your eyes a couple times in the span of your conversation, his heart couldn't help stopping for a second, every time

"would you like to see some of my work?"

as someone who wasn't fond of people close to him looking at his work, the question flew out of his mouth before his brain could stop him from doing so. there was something about you that felt so familiar to him as if he had met him before. talking to strangers was a fear of his, yet with you, it felt like your friendship had lasted longer than the thirty or so minutes you two had been talking you nodded, moving closer to him. the scent from your hair blanketed him a soft whiff of strawberry perfume. jungwoo flipped page-by-page through the darken paper of his book, explaining each piece of art with a great detail and apologize one, two many times for rambling. you only smile and laughed in response, your eyes slightly crinkling on the edges, noting to himself that he should make you laugh more.

it was as if he had known you for a lifetime.

[kalopsius]

She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes.

Charles Bukowski (via wordsnquotes)

[kalopsius]

ughhhhhh i love fanfic writerssss!!! like you literally waste your time to provide us with free content of our favorite groups and our biases and you write this amazing story with an amazing plot and you make us laugh and cry and feel so fluffy and ugh i love you all so much thank you so much for your hard work💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

[kalopsius]

have three stories all 50% finished and sighs.

[kalopsius]

it really breaks my heart when only mark gets acknowledged for being in 127 and dream. haechan exists too, please pay attention to him as well @ world!!

YES, mark lee is insanely talented and we love a hard-working man, but it makes me so sad to see how dejected donghyuck looks when people only notice mark when these 2 groups are mentioned. i understand that it’s because mark is one of the/is the main rapper in both groups, and donghyuck is only a regular vocalist in 127 and the main vocalist in dream, but he is working incredibly hard. he isn’t busting his ass to have nobody notice him on shows. he is a mood-maker, a vocal legend, a softie, and so, so much more. however, this poor baby doesn’t see himself for being as wonderful as he is. and let’s not forget to mention the fact that he is actively losing weight.

the bottom-line of this is please stan lee donghyuck aka haechan aka full sun + to give him more recognition. thank you xx

[kalopsius]

on hiatus for two weeks!! wifi on vacation is a bit iffy!

[kalopsius]

thank you to all the followers who give me that 1 note on my text posts

[kalopsius]

choi seungcheol, the boy who is the youngest in his family and always did aegyo to his parents to avoid getting in trouble. the boy who got casted by pledis in daegu because he and his friend took the long way home to avoid training for a soccer competition in junior high. the boy whose ultimate dream is to be a phys ed teacher. the boy whose father worried about his odds as an idol, not because he didn’t believe in cheol, but because he knew how hard it was to debut. the boy who went after it anyway because he loves music and a good challenge. the boy who views rapping as fast poetry that can’t be a quick manufacture if it is going to have any meaning; “we have to honestly fill it with emotion.” the boy who entered pledis as a singer but learned to alter his voice and adapt to be a rapper. the boy who treats his members so equally and kindly that they have to audibly remind themselves on shows and interviews that “of course, this is a job for the leader.” the boy who messes up the choreography so often that all he can do is laugh and be laughed at by the other boys. the boy who exercises so often that he lost the fullness of his cheeks, which made seokmin so sad. the boy who is so soft for dogs. the boy whose teeth are perfectly imperfect and whose dimples are deeper than the mariana trench. the boy who is so competitive that he stole a tablet from his dongsaengs. the boy who yelled to the rest of the members to put their big coats on in one fine day. the boy who would climb a tree if he ran into a wild bear. the boy who pulled jeonghan under the umbrella with him despite it barely raining so cheol wouldn’t be embarrassed alone. the boy who can destroy an entire fandom just by styling his hair up. the boy whose lips are naturally the color of pomegranates. the boy whose eyelashes are longer than the tour de france. the boy who can’t control his amazing sideburns. the boy who absentmindedly plays with his cute lil ears. the boy who wants four kids, the youngest being a girl, so the older ones can dote on her. the boy who got pajamas to match his bedding. the boy who just wants to relax in 2018. the loml choi seungcheol  ❤️💗💕💖💞💘💝

[kalopsius]

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[kalopsius]

so this jungwoo story has thirteen parts and i have written a very sad five parts. i will try to get it done by this week! i am really excited for this one!

[kalopsius]

given tumblr’s most recent flaw with the tags, it’s important now more than ever to reblog the content you love. I’ve talked to lots of creators about it and we all feel disheartened about our work getting nowhere due to problems with the tags. every reblog means the world, especially now.

[kalopsius]

How queenlike this rose now appears / with spring’s glow on her lips.

Afanasy Fet, tr. by Robert Chandler, from “September Rose,” wr. c. 1890 (via violentwavesofemotion)

[kalopsius]

listen as much as i love social media aus i’m tired of them. i want to actually read something written out, it’s not the same as reading text messages. and not that social media au creators don’t work just as hard as regular writers or that their content is not as good, because there are such amazing content creators who creat amazing social media aus but with the ongrowing populary of social media aus, many new, or just regular writers are being neglected by readers in place of reading something “easier”.