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— Virginia Woolf, a diary entry

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Art of Yayu 雅宇  

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Beautiful Old Italian Greenhouse Overgrown With Vegetation

📍Italy

📷 from @ksenia_hound

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L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

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—Aldous Huxley, from Brave New World

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Gottmik @ Rupaul’s Drag Race Season 13 Finale

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Coco Jones by @tosinshotit (Twitter & Instagram)

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Like an autumn without leaves, we can always get up.

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a uni survival guide: tips from a phd

if there's one thing i know about, it's college. i've done it, i've taught it, i've lived and breathed it. these tips are for first years in particular, but honestly for everybody. i think it's so important for people to have balanced lives in these years -- academics are not everything. you know what didn't help me in the real world when i was afraid i wouldn't live through it? my fancy college note-taking format. you know what did help me? the friends i made there who i knew would get on a plane and fly across the country in a matter of hours if i told them i needed them.

academic

- figure out where class is held ahead of time: don't be that kid who's late on day one, i beg of you

- use the writing center: especially for basic grammatical editing, which a lot of professors don't have time to mark on papers

- speak up in class: talking through ideas helps you work through them, and asking questions about something you don't understand can open up great lines of conversation

- find a regular schedule that works for you and stick to it: my college schedule was morning free time, class, lunch, class, practice, homework. that consistency was a life-saver

- keep a planner: it's so important to have a central place to track deadlines, assignments, and engagements

- annotate your reading: when you're stressing about a paper topic, being able to go back to what you've highlighted and written in the margins is a life-saver

- color-code your coursework: i use the same color highlighter, pen, and notebook for any given class. it's super helpful

- if you can't focus while studying with friends, don't: i reserved group studying for days when i didn't have important work because i can't be in a room with other people without talking to them. if your school has one, the quiet floor of the library is your best friend

- treat yourself to a "fun" class: art was always my place to just sit back and chill, a way to end the night all zen in the darkroom instead of conjugating russian verbs in a fluorescent-lit cinderblock prison. for you, it could be gym, it could be pottery, it could be some random course about, like, the history of cooking or something -- explore!

- profs are people too: don't be too nervous around them. also, know that if you're struggling -- even b/c of something in your personal life -- you can admit it, and they'll almost always understand why you missed a deadline or bombed a test

- go to office hours: it's the only way to get to know professors in big courses, and it's so helpful for both your grades and learning how to navigate relationships with authority figures

social

- don't let academia keep you from your friends: it's a case-by-case basis, but sometimes it's okay to let the reading slide and spend time with friends. i graduated seven years ago and my college group text still talks every day. that's so much more important to me than the fact that i never finished brideshead revisited

- joining a club is one of the best ways to make friends: i played ultimate frisbee through college and it was the source of so many lasting relationships, as well as the way i met all my local friends when i was abroad

- say yes to things you don't know if you'll like: you'll surprise yourself. me? turns out i love drinking games. and theme parties. and skinny dipping. and rock climbing

- don't be that person who looks down on their peers for partying: honestly? that person kind of sucks. you don't have to party if you don't want to, but actually, a lot of those people are super nice and also good at school -- don't just write them off!

- show up for your friends: go to their games, their concerts, their art shows, their standup nights. show them that what matters to them matters to you, too

- set aside a night to do a group activity with others: whether your vibe is wednesday night trivia, a weekly "terrible movie" showing, or a get-high-and-watch-nature-documentaries-type thing, these are great ways to liven up the week and de-stress

- this is a great time to figure out who from high school really matters to you: you don't have to force relationships that were built mostly on convenience if there are friends at uni with whom you click more. people you became friends with purely based on the coincidence of where your parents lived do not have to be your forever friends. they can be! but they don't have to be

personal

- don't expect too much of yourself: a 4.0 is not the end-all, be-all. if your family or somebody tells you it is, tell them to call me, and i will personally talk some sense into them

- take advantage of university support services: mental health counseling, free yoga classes, multi-cultural societies, etc

- drink water: please, please don't get kidney stones in the middle of the semester, says the girl who got kidney stones in the middle of the semester

- let yourself take breaks: if you need to lie to a professor and say you're sick when really you're just feeling down and you need to sit in bed and watch a movie, that's totally valid

- don't freak about individual assignments: my students come to me freaking over a B+ and i tell them, honey, no job interviewer is ever going to ask you about your second paper from communications 101. i wish i'd known that

- go see speakers if there's someone interesting coming to campus: these talks are always cooler than you expect. i'll never get over the fact that i didn't go see anita hill when she came to my undergrad

- do your laundry on the same night every week: i can't explain why this is so helpful but it really is

- keep up on the news and the memes: read the school paper, the school blog, the memes page -- college politics and inside jokes are fun and convoluted and fascinating

- set the groundwork for long-term self-care: all of the above is really just to say -- university isn't just for learning about the french revolution, it's also about learning how to balance, how to handle failure, how to ask for help, how to make a salad that doesn't totally suck, etc

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How to Ask for Help at College: Tips & Scripts

One of the most common pieces of advice that I see people giving to first-time college (university) students is “don’t be afraid to ask for help.” Okay, great, thank you, that’s sooo helpful… if you are used to asking for help and receiving it.

Asking for help is a skill you can learn. I hope these tips and scripts help you (or a college student that follows you) get started. 

TIPS

Familiarize yourself with who you might need help from. If you have to meet someone new AND ask for help at the same time, that’s two things to be anxious about. In the first few weeks of term, visit the people/offices that might help you later.

Your professors. Drop into office hours and say, “Hi, I’m on my way to the library, but I just wanted to stop in to introduce myself and make sure I know where your office is.” You can make some small talk, or use your library excuse to exit. Now you have ripped off the bandaid of talking to your prof one-on-one, and it will be slightly easier to ask for help later.

Your academic advisor. They will help you with making sure you’re taking the right classes to graduate on time. Send them an email that says, “Hi, I’m in my first semester. When should I make an appointment with you to discuss my major/graduation timeline/etc?” The answer is probably early October, but now you know their name and email address. 

Financial Aid/the Bursar. You don’t have to talk to them, just go look at their office or find their hours online. Financial Aid handles scholarships and your FAFSA; the Bursar is who deals with the payments.

Find one staff person who you can talk to. Sometimes, you won’t know what office can help you, and that’s when you ask someone on the college staff for help figuring that out – even if you know they’re not the person who can solve your problem. I’m talking about academic advisors, student activities coordinators, residence hall directors, First Generation student support offices, affinity centers (e.g., Black Student Unions), and anyone who works there but isn’t a professor. They will know how the college is set up and help you navigate to find help.

Ask yourself each week: “do I need help with anything?” You can set an alarm on your phone to go off every Monday with that question. It’s best to ask for help as early as possible; regular check-ins with yourself can help you catch it early when you’re confused about course material, financial aid deadlines, etc. 

You don’t have to know what kind of help you need! Saying that you’re having trouble and looking for some help is enough. Folks will generally point you in the right direction.

SCRIPTS

For talking to your professor or the tutoring center: 

I’m having some trouble with this course concept. Can I make an appointment with you to go over it?

I’ve read the materials, but something still isn’t clicking for me. Can you help me figure out what I need to review?

I didn’t perform as well as I would like on the last exam. What do you recommend I do differently to prepare for the next one? 

I’m having trouble in this class, but I’m not sure where to start. 

I’m feeling stuck about my essay. Do you have any advice, or is that something I should take to the tutoring center?

For dealing with registration, financial aid, the bursar, housing sign-ups, or any other thing where you have to navigate bureaucracies and fill out forms:

I need some help with ____. Is that something your office can help me with? 

I don’t know how to _____. Can you help me understand what the steps are?

My friend said there was a deadline coming up for ___. Is there anything I should be doing for that?

You mentioned that I should do ____. I’m not familiar with that; could you explain it to me? 

I think I did this wrong. Do you know what I should do to fix it?

I think I understand. Can I repeat it back to you so that I’m sure I have it right? 

Can I check in with you again if I get stuck, or should I contact someone else?

And remember – it feels REALLY GOOD to be able to help someone out. So if you are nervous that you are inconveniencing someone by asking for help, please also know that you’re actually giving that person an opportunity to feel really good by being helpful. 

Good luck!

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So I’m a college freshman and I just want to say, quite sincerely, everyone who told me “you’re going to have an amazing time :)” while leaving out the fact that there’s a huge adjustment period and u WILL be homesick because college isn’t your home (it will be hopefully, but it’s definitely NOT rn) can go fuck themselves low key. I would have preferred to have been told “not to scare u but u will be awkward and miserable for a while but it gets better” or at least I hope it does. Idk. Perhaps I should have expected it to be so. Ugh ew no please why stop. But I honestly didn’t. College vs HS is sooooo different like so so so different in ways I couldn’t even articulate let alone imagine.

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Art by Brian Froud

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Oscar Wilde // Franz Kafka

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By Christopher McKenney

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from the found grocery lists collection

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https://www.instagram.com/p/CMBKPmGF_ua/