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I know that Peter’s Jackson Lord of the Rings trilogy technically has flaws but also….it doesn’t. It’s perfect.

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Cuddle o’clock (via)

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ALRIGHT FINE. Y’all going so gaga for the croc lady here’s more, plus a friend.

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Pumpkin season

(via)

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Two silly dragon friends!! {x}

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So the crow family at work has found a Fun New Game. This game is “peck at the shiny trucks, but SPECIFICALLY only at the newest, shiniest, most expensive ones.”

This has caused, shall we say, some consternation among employees. A pest control service has been contacted. They have deployed traps, bait, and a dude with a BB gun.

None of these have worked even a little. Current score; Corvids 3, Pest Control Dudes 0. Crows just fuck off into the trees and caw derisively the moment they see the distinctive green and white pest company trucks; this company shot one (1) crow here three years ago and now the crows all know the company on sight.

I am, of course, rooting for the crows in this battle, and so far the crows are winning handily.

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lions are like transgendering lol

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anyone else remember being like 13 years old and watching that scene in how to train your dragon (2010) where hiccup carefully navigates the maze of lines toothless has drawn between them without breaking or stepping on any of them and with his back to toothless and eyes shut to demonstrate how he’s willing to put total faith in him not to harm him or run away and to show humility and a desire to establish a natural bond of mutual trust instead of the arrogance to try to force toothless to submit to his will and hearing the music crescendo and fade into silence as he finally crosses the last obstacle so that they’re standing mere inches from one another, tension built on years of bad blood between their two races, so immense it’s almost like a physical barrier, separating them, and after what feels like forever toothless presses his nose gently into hiccup’s outstretched palm and it fits perfectly like it was made solely for that specific purpose, and feeling all the hairs on your neck stand up and a stifling sensation that brought actual tears to your eyes rise in your throat as it touched something profound and full of unspeakable yearning inside you

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one of my favorite lotr facts is that gondorians speak sindarin as a first language and yet when faramir was talking to frodo and sam about cirith ungol he was like “we don’t know what’s in there.” like faramir. cirith ungol is sindarin for “pass of the spider.” do the math

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he has not yet figured out that sticks go under not on top

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Continuation of the latest comic!

Swordfish’s frog hoard saves the day through a commonly used, yet adorable fairy tale trope! Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!! 💙

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Okay, but consider this...

Modern fantasy creatures and people being exposed to new lifestyles and developing dreams and goals that don’t fit with their species or their culture in the slightest.

A dwarf who was born in a mine, grew up in a mine, and can count the number of times they’ve been surface-side on both hands. One of these times, they witnessed an airshow. They go home and tell their parents: “Mom, Dad, I want to be a pilot.” “What’s a pilot?” “We’ll, y’see…” And a brief explanation later… “YOU WANT TO DO WHAT? WHERE DID WE GO WRONG? DAMN IT, ROK, I TOLD YOU THAT THE SUN WOULD GO TO HIS HEAD. NOW HE THINKS HE CAN FUCKING FLY, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

An elf who has a deep interest in geology and underground exploration signs up for a dwarven digging mission. Shows up first day all long limbs and being seven feet tall, and has to become a 90 degree angle to get through the door. “Hey guys! Who’s ready to look at some rocks? Am I right? Well, it’s a tight fit, but I bet I can do it if I squeeze. Ooh, I know some great digging songs by the way.” The dwarves immediately try to find a way to fire the elf without being sued for racial discrimination. “I told you we should have been more careful about the ad.” “I put in it Gold and Gems Monthly, Brek, how was I to know elves read that kind of thing?” “OHMIGOSH, GUYS COME SEE WHAT I FOUND!” “Your turn, Nik.” “I swear to God, if it’s another goddamn stalagmite again…” 

A centaur whose herd migrates to a coast area and sees the ocean for the first time. “Greyhoof, I’m going to be a fisherman.” “What?” “I’m going to sail the seven seas; I want to be a sailor.” “Blackmane, you’re half horse, you can’t sail.” “I can learn.” “You can’t climb their weird ropes things. What would you even do on the ocean?” “It’s called rigging and I’d be a fisherman, obviously, like I told you.” “YOU’RE A CENTAUR, YOU CAN’T SAIL!” “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT. DON’T TRY AND DESTROY MY DREAMS, GREYHOOF, I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO. I BELIEVE IN ME.”

A mermaid who gets really interested in those land mountains that touch the clouds and meets an extreme mountain-climber on the beach, then decides they’ve found their calling. “I’m going to be the first mermaid to climb Mount Everest.” “What? Bluefins, that’s ridiculous.” “No, no, I’m gonna do it.” “You can’t breathe air.” “I’ll bring a tank of water, like what the humans do with air when they dive.” “YOU DON’T HAVE LEGS.” “I know, that’s what’ll make me the first mermaid to do it. I’m going to have to work around that, but” “FOR FUCK’S SAKE, BLUEFINS. WE’RE TROPICAL.” “No, see, there are these human things called coats. I’ve got it all figured out. Look, I drew plans.” “WITH WHAT?”

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today in “things i’m disproportionately emotional about”:

it’s facial reconstructions of prehistoric humans!!

like, look at this part-homo sapiens, part-neandertal man from well over 30,000 years ago:

doesn’t he just look like a dude you’d wanna hang out with? like he probably washes dishes in the kitchen with you, and has excellent weed

what a charming fellow. what stories he probably has to tell. i’d definitely go shoot the shit with him on Contemplation Rock after i’d finished my day’s work carving a bone flute for the autumn hunting ceremony, or whatever

people have been people ever since people first became people, i tell you what

they all had lives and histories and families and friends and dumb gossip and games they played and total bullshit in which they believed wholeheartedly

they all argued about the nature of the world, and of themselves

they all sang songs

they all drew pictures

they all buried their dead in graves, and they buried their dead in graves well before they did a lot of that other stuff. they buried their dead with flowers, with panther claws, with the bones of animals they’d killed, with the bones of family members who had died at the same time or earlier. they buried their dead with their arms folded across their chests

they fell in love

they took care of their old and their sick and their disabled, even when it cost them

they made new things, and worried about what the new things meant for people everywhere, as a whole

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Okay, I’m sorry but I just feel so restless about the bushfires, I made a mini-comic. Maybe it will get a few more people to donate. I wish I could do more.  Please see http://wires.org.au if you want to help. :(

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Legolas pretty quickly gets in the habit of venting about his travelling companions in Elvish, so long as Gandalf & Aragorn aren’t in earshot they’ll never know right?

Then about a week into their journey like

Legolas: *in Elvish, for approximately the 20th time* ugh fucking hobbits, so annoying

Frodo: *also in Elvish, deadpan* yeah we’re the worst

Legolas: