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this should have been me

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there is still time never kill yourself etc etc

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Couldn't be me, I'll make them fall in love in a thousand different universes if it's the last thing I do.

People don’t understand the concept of liking two characters’ relationship in multiple contexts. They can be lovers in one setting and just friends in another, their dynamic doesn’t have to be consistent in every piece of art I make.

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will you intrinsically understand my vision or are you like the rest of them

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Feeling nothing can be as devastating as feeling too much (Christopher J Hopwood, Psyche, Dec 12 2024)

"Empty. You go through the motions, barely even noticing whether you are doing the dishes, driving your car or talking to a friend.

You think this feeling will never change and nothing will ever mean anything.

You are disconnected from the world, as if you’re watching it go by from the window of a train that is not going anywhere in particular.

If you have not had this experience, it may be challenging to imagine what it is like.

It might even sound as if it could be a good thing, like the kind of healthy detachment pursued in religions such as Buddhism.

But what I’ve described – subjective emptiness, or the feeling of absence from one’s own life, lack of fulfilment, forced existence and profound aloneness – is a serious mental health symptom.

People who feel emptiness have problems in work and relationships, are at significantly higher risk for suicidal behaviour, and often have difficulties engaging in mental health treatment.

While both serene detachment and emptiness have to do with feeling disconnected from the world, there are important differences.

Whereas detachment is associated with calm satisfaction, and something people work towards through meditation, emptiness is a dreaded state that people desperately try to evade, even to the point of self-harm. (…)

A puzzling feature of emptiness is that people who report feeling empty also typically report feeling too full of feelings at times, and often go back and forth between the two extremes.

Emptiness has historically been conceptualised as a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD), a relatively severe psychiatric diagnosis involving extreme anger, sadness and other emotions, impulsive behaviour and concerns about being abandoned.

People with BPD are typically thought of as having too many feelings, too many thoughts, and behaving too rashly.

Why might the same person feel too empty and too full of feelings?

The most likely answer lies in the concept of identity, or the internal sense a person has of who they are.

Having a well-developed sense of self provides life with meaning, guides behaviour, and can be a psychological resource in times of distress.

When a person has an unclear, disorganised and unstable sense of self – as is frequently the case for those diagnosed with BPD – they will have deep questions about what they should be doing and what should matter.

Some people whose identity is not well integrated go back and forth between periods of emotionally intense efforts to figure out who they are and periods of numb emptiness.

My colleagues and I have spoken with hundreds of people, in our clinical work and research, about their experiences of emptiness.

They have described feeling dead despite breathing, feeling as if they are missing something everyone else seems to have, having a hole where their heart should be, waiting for life to begin, not knowing what to live for, and not feeling a part of the world, among other vivid depictions of the experience.

Until recently, relatively little was known about emptiness; it was not typically studied as an important concept in its own right.

However, two findings point to its significance. First, even among symptoms of BPD, emptiness stands out as a unique predictor of suicidal behaviour and treatment difficulties.

What’s more, people who do not have a diagnosis of BPD can feel empty, too.

For example, the experience is common among people with depression and schizophrenia diagnoses.

Some individuals who do not have psychiatric diagnoses also struggle with emptiness.

In one study, 10 per cent of college students reported feeling ‘chronically empty’. (…)

After discovering that relationships were a way for her to find meaning and avoid emptiness, she saw a way forward.

She adopted a pet. After some improvement, she volunteered as a ‘big sister’ mentor to children in need, and eventually she joined a social club where she made lasting friendships.

Around that time, we ended our work together, confident that she knew what she could do during moments when she felt empty.

As psychologists continue to learn more about the experience of emptiness, the effort is likely to reveal important insights about how human emotions, identity and relationships are intertwined – and how to better help people who struggle with feeling empty, like my client, live more fulfilling lives."

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Arts by CrazyTom

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the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating

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Louis Apol (Dutch, 1850-1936)

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bad

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starting a compilation of my favorite "no thank you" buttons from when they want you to subscribe so bad

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bingo

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Casual reminder that the Palestine Children's Relief Fund has a 97% on Charity Navigator and you should donate to it if u can. Despite the limited external aid that's been allowed into Gaza, they've been able to distribute a lot of aid internally. And they are providing needed aid to Lebanon.

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hes a poet

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Cyberheim by Tony Sart