kahak

[kahak]

AITA for dating a girl who looks exactly like my ex-boyfriend?

Backstory: I used to be friends with this guy back when I was in a really bad spot who would cook for me, look after my kid, and encourage me to rest when I was overworking myself, amongst other things. He made it very clear he was interested in me, so we dated briefly until his friend (only other friend besides me) almost got me killed. I was fine and didn't really care, but my boyfriend thought it was his fault and left. I didn't want to force him to stay, but I still considered him a friend. I tried to track him down years later and it turned out he had killed himself, which was really upsetting.

Present day, I've become acquainted with the friend of a friend who looks exactly like my ex. They have the same face and body type, although their hairstyles and heights are different. I think it's because they're distantly related. This girl's mom died recently, and she's been having a really hard time. She started asking me to hang out a lot and I agreed because I felt bad for her. When she asks me for favors I have a hard time saying no, because I feel like I'm saying no to my dead ex-boyfriend.

Her mom used to be involved in the same cult my ex and his friend were (my ex was the leader of a cult when we first met. He quit because it was creeping me out), so that made me worried that this cult might try to reach out to her. I started checking in with her every day to keep an eye on her. When we're not together I sometimes go to her apartment and check in the window to make sure she's still there. I'm especially anxious because the cult might try to take advantage of her losing her mom.

Yesterday this girl asked me to go out with her and I wanted to say no, but when I refused she began to tear up. Seeing her sad reminded me of my ex so I panicked and asked her to go out with me to get her to stop crying. We're going on our first date this Sunday. I don't want to hurt her feelings, and I want to keep her close by in case the cult tries anything. Am I the asshole for leading her on?

Edit: to all the people saying I'm the asshole for stalking my girlfriend, you're mistaken. I'm following her for her own safety. Some of the cult's members have begun recruiting her and I want to make sure she's okay.

[kahak]

mizuha returns to her origins (water), left hand somehow drowns, and the modern arc ends like that

kahak being purged in the fire of the bennett church’s factory and fushi being cleansed in mizuha’s water <333333333

[kahak]

[kahak]

happy fushi fucks fish friday, everyone 😄❤️🐟

What I think of every Fushi fucks fish Friday.

[kahak]

I think it's fortunate that Fushi hasn't done much shopping on their own.

[kahak]

Imagine being in love with someone who would rather fuck a fish than you

[kahak]

Chapter 151.1

So Fushi still has black hair... cool, cool. I think they're keeping a "main" body that they'll live as a human in on hand, with dyed hair and modern clothes so they can blend in, and also so people won't be suspicious that they're not aging. It looks like the black haired body's gotten a bit taller now, since some time's passed. They're significantly taller than Hanna, at least, and I know they were only slightly taller than Mizuha so, assuming Hanna and Mizuha are the same height??? They've grown an inch or two. A lot of mangaka warp that kind of thing to fit characters into the same panel, so it's hard to tell. Anyways I think this panel was meant to illustrate how tall Fushi is now:

This chapter doesn't really have anything for me to analyze, sadly. I thought Hanna, March, and Mimori were the most interesting characters. I think the kid with the bows had cute hair and she was having fun with March and the end of the chapter, so I forgive her for being a dick. My benevolence knows no bounds.

Eko should be going to school now too, and I'm more worried about her than March because while March is—as Fushi says—"the sociable type," Eko doesn't talk and if the kids in her class don't actually try to communicate with her in any meaningful way then / Mimori's making friends with younger kids though, so maybe Eko will be able to join them too? This is all assuming she's not still being home-schooled for now.

Kasabe is funny. There's no way that she would have known Mizuha wasn't on any of the lists if she wasn't searching for Mizuha's name specifically. Why were you looking for another girl's name huh? Gay. And Fuuna knows... she knows. I also liked her hanging off Kasabe. She used to cling onto Saki all the time, so I think it's her primary way of showing affection, since when she talks she comes off as standoffish. Regardless, it's cute.

Hanna's pessimism and passiveness versus Yuuki's optimism and activeness. Very nice. Hanna's perspective comes from someone who asked Mizuha what she could do to see Mizuha happy, got an answer, and rejected that answer. She came along with Fushi and Yuuki to check on Mizuha but stayed out of sight when they rang the doorbell/intercom; she's worried about Mizuha but probably thinks her presence would be aggravating. I think she also felt guilty because of Kasabe's comment about her hair-tie. Hanna feels like she's done as much as she can do alone, but a part of her still wants to help Yuuki, even if she thinks it's pointless.

Rather than picking an approach like Hanna or Yuuki, I get the feeling that Fushi is hedging their bets for now and waiting until they have more information before proceeding. Or waiting until someone tells them what to do. After Hanna asked her question, I think they might have had a longer talk and made a plan for how they would get Mizuha to smile again (direct quote because I love Yuuki) and Ooima is just keeping it under wraps for suspense purposes.

I liked seeing March make friends, but I really liked that Mimori was the one to help her because it's like. Her character development wasn't entirely tossed out the window like I thought. I just... I like how characters who aren't directly involved in the main plot anymore can still influence it in some ways. Case in point:

Let's look at the information Fushi's received: "March didn't like school," "now she's finally smiling," and all the kids are making mud balls together. Does the situation sound similar to something else that was discussed earlier in the chapter? Who wants to place a bet on what Fushi's going to give Mizuha for her birthday with me?

[kahak]

SHE'S PARONA'S REINCARNATION!! THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION FOR THIS!!

[kahak]

There's no way that Chapter 146.1 wasn't deliberately referencing this exchange. Mizuha crouching in a pose similar to Ueno's. Hanna coming in like "wow... you're having a horrible time huh? Can I help?" Mizuha trying to end her friendship with Hanna and freaking out when she succeeds vs. Ueno doing the same and quietly accepting that she failed. Sahara knowing that Ueno didn't mean it vs. Hanna finding some truth in Mizuha's words and responding accordingly. Also:

Their friendship origin story is similar to the scene where Hanna speaks up for Mizuha. Unrelated thought: Sahara can easily say that she wants to be like Ueno and Ueno likes that but Mizuha both encourages and abhors the idea that Hanna might be putting her on a pedestal. Not only that... they're talking about a contest where they won medals. Ueno won a g—

[kahak]

Don't know if this is even relevant but have more parallels and remember that Ooima first came up with the concept for Fushi in grade school. She has been working on this story for a long time so I consider anything from her previous work fair game.

[kahak]

Blacktober day 6: Fave main character

[kahak]

[kahak]

Chapter 150.1

This chapter was some fucked up combination of comedic relief and serious character development. I'm pretty sure Fushi dying their hair was supposed to be serious, too... maybe I'm the problem.

Out of all of Fushi's friends, there are only three who have actually experienced "immortality," which came down to killing themselves so they could be revived over and over again for Fushi's convenience. Not pleasant. March, Tonari, and Gugu weren't around for the most brutal parts of the battle in Renryrr, and Kai and Hylo are too polite to confront Fushi about it while their other friends are listening, but Messar can just say what he wants. Which he proceeds to do. I think it's really crazy how Ooima had to remove him from the story in volume 14, when Fushi was still living with their friends, which indirectly proves that he would have pushed the story in a different direction if he'd interacted with Fushi and Mizuha then. Too much power in one character.

Back to my main point: Fushi's acutely aware of how this will inevitably end. Their friends will agree to become immortal, but they'll always resent them for it. They're trying to decide which is worth more, their friends' happiness or their own, but no matter how much they hype themselves up, Fushi can't look Messar in the eyes and say they want him to go through that forever. My second point: Messar in this arc... amazing. Ooima had to give him a handicap but my appreciation for him still skyrockets every time he opens his mouth.

I didn't find Fushi's decision to let their babies go as interesting as some other parts of the chapter, but I wanted to touch on their train of thought that leads from Mizuha to Pioran to their dead friends and how that influenced their choice, so! Pioran, unlike Mizuha, understands when she needs to let go. This is most notable when she decides to die, obviously, but also when she refuses to teach Fushi household chores, knowing that in the end they'll benefit more if they learn from Gugu, and when she tries to get them to leave her in prison. More than that, she was also excellent at steering Fushi away from the shit she didn't want them to see (i.e. sending them away so they didn't see her die; never telling them why she was imprisoned by the Yanome), as opposed to Mizuha who let Fushi see everything. Remembering how uncomfortable that made them, Fushi thinks "wow I CANNOT do that to my friends" and in search of an example to follow, turns to the opposite end of the spectrum: Pioran, of course, but also their friends who were left behind in the same way that Fushi's going to be now.

Rynn, Parona, and Sander also hid their sadness when they left Fushi, because they didn't want to weight them down on their journey (I included the last time we see Rynn and Sander to help illustrate this point). Now Fushi's thinking they should return the favor, which is a natural conclusion, but in my opinion sending your immortal friend off with a smile even if you're not feeling it because you'll probably never see them again and continuously hiding your feelings from your friends while still living with them are not the same. It doesn't help that whenever Fushi's given the opportunity to sacrifice their happiness they take it and run with it. Especially with the hints that there's something else going on later in the chapter, this change seems less like a step forward and more like switching to a new avoidance tactic.

Every damn time I see someone cutting off their hair in whatever I'm reading it's always to signal that the character is a "new person." FnAe's the same, but a little different: Bon and Eko both had their hair cut after being separated from their family through death, specifically, and if we continue the pattern here then... Ooima's making a lot of implications. Interestingly, it was Fushi who first cut Eko's hair, and they later restored her and Bon to their original haircuts, almost negating their character development, in a way? And the second time Eko's hair was cut, it was with the resolve to protect her family. Just. Some stuff to think about.

I'm not done! Because I still need to talk about the symbolic meaning of Fushi dying their hair. I'm having fun. So, when Fushi's hair was white, it was kind of like a veil that separated them from the rest of humanity. It's used when comparing them to god in the previous era, and their white hair continued to mark them as an outsider as they struggle to navigate the present era. One of Fushi's many predicaments is their confusion about whether they should be acting human or playing at god, and when they dye the symbol of their divinity a different color their choice is crystal clear. Or it would be if the didn't have that fucking rope still around their wrist. Not even going to get into that because I have no idea what's going on there.

Finally, I wanted to talk about the Renryrr arc. This chapter was full of allusions to it, but the page where Eko checked Fushi's breathing was drawing parallels in permanent marker so I have to talk about this specifically. After the Renryrr arc, Fushi started prioritizing their own needs thanks to the encouragement of Bon and their other friends. Unfortunately, following Bon's advice to advocate for themselves got them nowhere, so now they've changed course. They're back to where they were at the beginning of the Renryrr arc, they've actually reversed their character development and gone back to lying to their friends and pushing them away. To be fair, they never really stopped, because there's still all the knocker stuff they're not sharing, but they were on the fence about that at least. They've committed for real this time, we know because they got a haircut!

This parallel is saying: "hey, remember how badly Kahaku got fucked up in the Renryrr arc? That was awful, right? His mental breakdown was triggered by his friends continuously lying to him and pushing him away, and guess what's happening right now? Fucking guess :)" Just... casually placing Tonari and Gugu in his prior position. I'm worried for them. Anyways, for the record I don't think this is out of character for Fushi or bad writing or anything. I think it's poggers and I'm excited for the next chapter.

[kahak]

HELLO???

[kahak]

this manga is about the emotional traumas an immortal faces and his growth as a person

[kahak]

Created a Fandom account just for this.

[kahak]

I loved this chapter so much.