justjahthings

[justjahthings]

CHILHOOD MEMOIR

I remember when I was a child, my mother won’t let me go out of my crib. Like literally, my whole childhood memories was all in my crib. My aunties would visit me in our house in Antipolo and they would all see me in my crib. There’s this one specific auntie where she will get me in my crib and let me play outside. That’s why when I was young, I always want her to visit me so I could play with my other sibs and cousin.

That is me when I was a child. (Yes, I’m still in the crib in that look) 😭🤣

PS it was in an edited frame because this picture was included in one of my mom’s youtube posts back in 2008. (i can include the link here).

[justjahthings]

TRAVELOGUE

November 30, 2020, is my most unforgettable date. My best friend's brother told me to come with them as they rented a private pool in Norzagaray, Bulacan. I am very close to my best friend's family that's why every time they have travel, they always want me to come. It wasn't a family trip tho, it's also traveling with their friends but they decided to let us join since we were all somehow close to each other.

We left their home at exactly 3AM. I also told my brother to join me because my friend's brother was looking for someone who can drive the extra motor.

I thought we're just gonna have swimming but we went first to DRT, Bulacan where the 13 falls can be seen. We went there first, climb the mountain, and swim every fall we went to.

5 hours of that day was used from the 13 falls plus the mountain climbing. It was already 4PM when we decided to go to the private resort (I forgot the name). When we arrived there, it was already 5PM and the weather was also windy + it seems like it's going to rain. And I was right. But I didn't get to swim there because when we arrived, I fell because I got tired at the mountain climbing.

It was unforgettable for me because it's my first time to travel with my friends with the motor transpo. It was so fun. I'll never forget it.

(More pics below)

[justjahthings]

PATHOGRAPHY

Hello, it's me, Janice! I'm here to tell you a story about my experience back in 2018. I was hospitalized because of UTI. But before we start, let us know what is UTI?

According to Mayo Clinic (2021), Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) is an infection in parts of our urinary system. Most Infections involve the bladder, urethra, and lower urinary tract.

Mayo Clinic. (2021, April 23). Urinary Tract infection (UTI). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-tract-infection/symptoms-causes/syc-20353447

A little background about me and my infection. It was January 2018 when I started to get sick. I was in grade 8 that time and one morning my temperature went 38.9°. I thought it was just some normal fever but it's already days and I still don't feel well. My parents decided to bring me to a clinic and that's when I know that I have UTI. After the check-up, they gave me medicines that I have to take, and days after, my fever was gone.

Going back, it's December 2019. I am a grade 9 student. Since it's December, Christmas is coming and there were also lots of Christmas Parties celebrated in our community. December 16, I started to have a fever again. My temperature was so high and 5 days have passed and I am still unwell. My parents decided to bring me to the same clinic I went to in 2018. The doctor said my UTI was already in stage 1 and it shouldn't reach stage 3 because it is dangerous for my health. They decided to give me prescriptions so I would be better. December 23 and I'm still sick that's why my father decided to bring me to the hospital. Upon arriving, I was checked in there and they did some tests on me. When the results came, they told me that I have to be confined.

It's sad because Christmas is getting near and I am at a public hospital. (Quirino Memorial Medical Center). My mother and stepfather went there to take care of me because my father has to do work stuff. Attached below was our picture when I was at the hospital. Looking at the picture, I didn't expect that it was me because I was so thin.

When Christmas came, they were all at our house celebrating while I was alone with the other patients in the hospital. They went there to greet me at 2AM.

December 26, 2019, last day at the hospital. They said I can go home and take my medications so I can be well. The doctor advised me to have my water therapy so that my infection won't be triggered.

[justjahthings]

Reflective Essay

Admit it, not everyone can live alone without having at least one person in their life. We all need that person we can lean ourselves especially when things are tough. That one person who will be with us through good and bad times, and that one person who will make us believe that the world isn't really that cruel. But what if that one person who came into our lives made us experience the 5 stages of grief?

The movie "Prayers for Bobby" is the first movie I have watched where the 5 stages of grief can literally be seen. It's a movie about a person named Bobby Griffith (Ryan Kelley) that came from a devout Christian family, being confused about his true identity. He then started to tell it to his brother, Ed (Austin Nichols) and told him to keep it a secret as they know that their family wouldn't like it if they found out him being gay. But later that day, their mother, Mary Griffith (Sigourney Weaver) found out that his son is gay. She desperately did everything to prevent it from Bobby like it was a disease being gay that she even took him to a psychiatrist. His whole family is given Christian that's why they made him feel like being gay is a sin, that he wouldn't be with them in the afterlife if he won't stop the so-called-"temptation".

Months after, he decided to live in Portland where his cousin resided. She was so proud and supportive of him, which Bobby felt the first time he was accepted. He then met David (Scott Bailey), this is also the time where Bobby really felt like he is loved. He found someone who accepts him, someone who he can lean on, and someone proud of him especially when David introduced him to his family. But after all of it, he found out that David is cheating on him. His family being against him being gay, and a lover that cheated, lead to Bobby's suicide. Jumping off a bridge onto a highway and into the path of an oncoming eighteen-wheeler truck, which kills him instantly. His whole family was so devastated, especially his mother that hated him for being gay. From Bobby's death in the movie until it ended, the 5 stages of grief were seen. From denial to acceptance. They regret what happened to Bobby because they know that if only they have accepted him at the beginning, it won't happen and that's the reality, we always regret it in the end. The pain of losing someone we love, and the fact that we have to come to the point where we felt the 5 stages of grief.

Back in 2019, I met that one person who made me feel everything I prayed for. He wasn't my ideal because he exceeds what is. We know that we really can't be together because of our religion, but we were happy. We were so happy for a year and months. I know nothing's wrong with him because it was all on me. I was stressed out because of my family, and I don't know but I felt like I was in the dark. I know I have him and I can lean on him but I pushed him out. I pushed away people who said I have them, cut off communications including 'him.' After a week, I don't know what to feel, I was so empty and I couldn't even recognize myself. Maybe also because it was amidst a pandemic. November 7, 2020, is where I decided to break up with him. At first, he didn't agree with me but he can't stop me so he agreed. After a day of breakup, he went to my house to fix things up. I myself was so empty. But deep inside I was so happy to see him again after a couple of months. He wanted us to be fixed but I was so desperate to let go. I know deep inside that all I want is to be heard but I did the opposite. I still pushed him away. He said he will court me again and we'll still talk again on our social media accounts. I said "alright" indisposed. He went home after that. We talked again on messenger and 2 days after we met, he said "maya nalang" and ghosted me. 3 days after, I saw his friend's Facebook story where his friend (my ex) had a call with a girl. For 13 hours. I was hurt. I got ghosted for no reason and that's what I see. (that girl I once saw in his inbox). That's where I realized I have to move on. He has a new girl and I have to move on. I know that I am already unwell before we broke up but the audacity of myself to feel those 5 stages of grief throughout the healing process. (kidding aside)

At first, I was in denial. I said to myself that it happened before and we were going to get back together after week/s just like before. He comes back to me when he can't resist it anymore. Being in denial in a way that will comfort me. Just like Mary Griffith, she thinks that a miracle would happen and could bring back Bobby.

Second I started to feel angry. I was angry at him without him knowing. Maybe it's normal to feel that way after what he did to me. I'm so mad that I even thought of him as a cheater. I believed that what he did was cheating. But also, I'm mad at myself because of some reason.

Then I started bargaining. I even prayed to Him to help us get back together and if ever that we got back, I will be open to him which I didn't before. I even started to have my what-ifs. "What if I didn't pushed him away?" "What if I told him what I really felt before?" "What if I wasn't stressed out by my family before?" "What if I was stronger before? Will things be different? Will we still be together?" Things like that. Just like Bobby's family, we had our what-ifs. "What if I accepted my son the way he is?"

I know this is a very sensitive topic and may trigger someone but yes, I was in a state of depression back then. I wasn't clinically diagnosed but I know. The problem I had in my family, plus being heartbroken triggered it all. It came to the point where I had my su*****l thoughts and I even cut and hurt myself physically. Everything that happened back then always hunts me. And just like Mary, of course, Mary, she had depression. Nothing hurts more than losing your loved one. As for her, she lost her child. It sure feels like hell.

Then finally, acceptance. I learned to accept that things won't go as planned. After exactly 1 year, I finally learned how to move forward and accept that people will come and leave with a lesson. I may not be fully healed but I'm still in the process of it and I can say that I am almost there. The same with Mary Griffith, she had accepted that her son is gone that Bobby didn't commit a sin for being gay. She even joined a LGBTQ+ organization to support those who had the same situation in her son.

Well, I guess it's really people's nature to really had something to regret in the end. But it's still up to us on how we handle it because in the end, it's just you against the world. "Do not look for love. Love your self and let the love find you." That's what I learned. So I hope that we all meet that one person who will stay with us through our worst, and I hope we can do the same with them.

[justjahthings]

Adele “30″ Song Review

Adele is one of my childhood favorite artist. I remember when I first heard her music “Someone like you” back in 2012 because my mom and my sister used to listen to her too. It was really a great music that I somehow became a fan of her old songs up until now. I listened to “Rolling in the Deep”, “Chasing Pavements” (which is my favorite), the famous “Hello” and many more.  Recently, in November 19, 2021, Adele released her new album “30″. The last time she had her album was 6 years ago, entitled “25″. I remember the feeling when I heard the news of this album release. I was so excited to listen to it, just like how I feel when my favorite KPOP group released a new album. As I listen to it, I was so amazed because of Adele’s voice. It feels like I’m back to the old days because nothing has change on the way she sang. I can still feel her soulful style, and the sheer power of her voice that makes me want to listen to her more. Her newest album consists of 12 great music which is very worth the listen, if only I can choose all of them, but I can’t. Here are my top 3 picks: 

The first song is entitled “Women Like Me”, this is the ninth track on her album but this is my number one pick. This song really got my attention not only because of her vocals but because of the song itself. The moment I listen to it, the moment I feel the power this song has. The lyrics “I know that you've been hurt before / That's why you feel so insecure”  and “I begged you to let me in ’cause I only want to be the cure / If you don't choose to grow, we ain't ever gonna know” hits me because I know this song is about relationships that’s going on waste because of something that you want to make right but the person you’re with doesn’t cooperate. I know this song of Adele is about her ex-husband. I may not have a husband yet, but I can feel the feeling this song has because I somehow felt it before on my past relationship. 

Second is “All Night Parking”, upon listening on this track makes me feel calm, it’s like giving me that lo-fi music vibe (I love lo-fi music that’s why). “ But every time that you text / I want to get on the next flight home / And dream next to you all night long” The lyrics says it clearly like its missing someone far away from you that his/her texts has a great impact on you and makes you misses him/her more. I feel like this song is about someone you really missed, someone who you used to be with and that someone who made you feel really beautiful. Aside from that lo-fi type music, Adele’s vocals, and the lyrics it has, one thing that makes this music really good is the way the singer deliver it. I can feel through the song her feelings, that I can relate to. 

Lastly, “Cry Your Heart Out” is giving me that 70s disco vibes. Joyful vibes but looking through the lyrics of this music, you can really see what Adele really feels. This song really speaks out that “it’s okay to be broken and hurt from an unspoken sadness. it is okay to not feel like yourself.” line. Because everyone has their point in life where they’ll be having their own battles, and this song literally said “IT’S OKAY” because (based on the lyrics), “But give it to yourself before it’s too late / In the end, it's just you." 

Overall, the album was a very good one. Just like what I said earlier, this is very worth it. Adele is speaking her whole 30 in 12 tracks. If I will rate this one, this will be a 10000/10. One thing that makes me love this album is that because can relate to some of the lines and the songs she made, we may not be the same, but our experiences and also the emotions we felt are somehow the same because we are both humans. Looking forward to her next album.

[justjahthings]

Eyes that Sparks

I noticed him standing at the front of his classroom smiling and chatting with his classmates. We were in the ninth grade, and I was just a stranger. Then suddenly, he became a part of my life. My life had changed for that very moment when I first met you. Ian Miguel is a person with whom I have developed a strong emotional attachment. His friend was also a friend of mine. In summer, we started playing mobile games, and then we became connected. We were also talking about stuff, exchanging greetings, good morning, and good night chats. As time goes by, as we reach our last year of junior high school, the two of us began to feel something for one another.

Ian’s traits are what drew me to him. I love when he smiles, because his eyes sparkle as well, which brightens up my day. The way he speaks calmly but full of joy. He exceeds my standards. Some of is interests are mainly watching anime. His personality is one of the things I admire about him. He is faithful, family, and goal-oriented, kind, and loving. I appreciate how he treats other people, including me. His lively personality is what makes me smile every day. Ian has a bright personality that everyone loves about him. I would not mind talking to you every second, and I would not mind spending every day with you.

He always had supported me in everything I did. We were both happy with each other. But everything has an ending. He still holds a special place in my heart. Please continue being you. If I could travel through time, I would go back to when I first met you because, despite everything, I’m glad we met. So this is goodbye, even if I don’t want it to be.

[justjahthings]

ABOUT ME

Hello! It’s me, Janice Vergara. A little background about me: is that I am an 18 year old aspiring flight attendant. Currently studying at University of Perpetual Help System Laguna taking my Humanities and Social Sciences strand. This is my first blog ever and I still don’t know what would I be discussing about here (tumblr) in the future.  So to my future readers, I hope you won’t get bored scrolling on my account. Stay safe always! 

[justjahthings]

Spoken Word Piece : Biyaheng Sagada

Minulat ang mga mata pagkarating na pagkarating sa Sagada.

Namangha man sa taglay na ganda ngunit alam ko sa sarili kong may kulang talaga.

Oh, sinta, aking sinta, nasaan ka na ba? Oo nga pala, matagal ka nang wala.

Nilisan at bumiyahe sa ibang destinasyon--- malayo sa dating kalsada na minsa’y

binyahe nating magkasama.

Katulad ng U-Turn, nais ko sanang magbalik-alaala kahit na saglit lamang.

Noong mga panahong ang pag-ibig nati’y tila ginto sa pag kinang.

Ikaw ang aking anghel na sa madaling araw ay papadyak na parang hibang,

‘Di alintana ang dilim, basta’t magkasama, alang-alang sa libang.

Sa sobrang aliw, pati speed limit ay ‘di napansin.

Kay tulin ng takbo, sing-bilis ng paglisan mo sa akin.

Akala ko’y tulad ng U-Turn na isang kabig lamang ay maibabalik na natin,

Ngunit lahat pala ay akala, ‘pagkat ika’y tuluyan na niyang naangkin sa ‘kin.

Inikot ang manibela pa-kanan at ipinihit pa-kaliwa,

‘Di man nagkulang sa babala tulad ng No Overtaking na paalala,

Itinuloy mo pa rin ito nang walang kaba-kaba,

Ika’y nag-Turn Left--- gaya ng ‘yong pangangaliwa.

Winaksi ang red lights na senyales na sana ng pagtigil,

Ngunit nagpadala naman sa green lights na puso naman ang siyang singil.

‘Di man lang hinintay ang go signal ng paglaya,

Inuna ang sarili, oh ba’t naman kay daya.

Dahil sa balsa na namangka sa dalawang ilog.

Puso ko’y natuto, ‘di na muling papabilog.

Dahil sa pag-ibig na tuluyang naalog, nasira, at lumubog,

Ako’y naliwanagan kasabay ng aking pagka hubog.

Oh, hangin ng Sagada magpasa ganun pa man, alam kong ako’y may

Patutunguhan.

Ibang biyahe nga lang, at ‘di ikaw ang lulan.

‘Di baleng sa pagpatak ng alas-dose kotse ko’y kalabasa na parang kay

Cinderella.

Basta’t ang mahalaga, susi at daan na ‘to tungo sa paglaya.

Sa aking muling pag-biyahe tungo sa alaala ng Sagada,

Baon ko ang mga aral at maging mga paalala.

Na sa susunod kong paglarga, kaya ko nang mag-isa habang tumatayo sa sariling paa,

Para kontrolado ‘di lang ang manibela, kundi pati na rin ang paglarga tungo sa rampang

wantusawa.

#

[justjahthings]

Life in Pandemic: New Normal, New Ways, New Thinking

There are numerous advantages to using the online to study. It is extremely convenient because it allows both me and my teacher to communicate from the comfort of our separate homes. Additionally, I may ask questions and voice concerns, just as I used to do in the classroom. In the event of a natural disaster or other type of catastrophe, the online study approach becomes even more crucial. The recent COVID 19 pandemic, from which every one of us is still recovering, serves as a perfect illustration of this point of view. Many schools are now offering online courses in order to ensure the safety of their students. Online learning is, without a doubt, a more secure option to traditional schooling.

Maintaining learner engagement is one of the most difficult challenges that remote education is experiencing in the wake of the COVID-19 disaster. Students' capacity to acquire new knowledge and keep track of their learning process can be hampered by a lack of face-to-face contact, communication difficulties on digital devices, or the necessity to arrange their own time. When it comes to ensuring that pupils remain interested and motivated, the role of the teacher becomes important. The importance of a teacher in a student's life cannot be overstated. While students receive emotional support from their families, it is the teachers who are responsible for recognizing and understanding these needs in the classroom. They are the ones who provide the child with the nutrition he or she needs in order to have a brighter future. Education systems around the world have been forced to investigate alternatives to face-to-face instruction as a result of the COVID-19 challenge. As a result, online teaching and learning has gained widespread acceptance among both professors and students on a scale never previously seen. The need for lockdowns – whether extensive or limited – in the future to respond to repeated outbreaks of the infection until a vaccine is produced underscores the need of governments identifying which policies enhance the success of online learning. When it comes to maximizing the potential of online schooling in the absence of traditional face-to-face instruction, this policy briefly analyzes the impact of students' attitudes toward learning. Given the critical role that parents and teachers play in assisting students in developing these critical attitudes, especially in the current climate, targeted policy interventions should be designed to alleviate parental burdens while also assisting teachers and schools in making the most of digital learning opportunities.

Globally stated by the World Health Organization, the COVID-19 pandemic has resulted in a devastating loss of human life and poses enormous challenges to public health, food systems, and the workplace. The pandemic's economic and social impact is devastating: tens of millions of people face acute poverty, while the number of undernourished individuals, presently estimated at almost 690 million, might rise to 132 million by the end of the year.

The COVID-19 issue ties together nutrition security, healthcare, unemployment and labor concerns, most especially worker health & welfare. As Sumitra stated, Adhering to safe and healthy work practices, as well as providing access to decent work and the protection of labor rights across all industries, will be critical in resolving the crisis's human dimension. Immediate and meaningful action to save lives and livelihoods should include expanding social protection in the direction of universal health coverage and providing economic support to the most vulnerable. These employees include those in the informal economy and those in low-protected, low-wage positions, as well as youth, elder employees, and migrants. Special consideration should be given to the plight of women, who are overrepresented in low-wage employment and care roles. Diverse forms of assistance are critical, including cash transfers, child allowances, and nutritious school meals, as well as housing and food relief projects, employment retention and recovery assistance, and financial relief for businesses, including micro, small, and medium-sized firms. It is critical for governments to collaborate closely with employers and workers when developing and implementing such measures. Countries currently experiencing humanitarian crises or emergencies are particularly vulnerable to COVID-19's effects. Rapid response to the epidemic is important, as is ensuring that humanitarian and recovery help reaches those in most need.

According to Maritza Reyes, students' lives are structured and routine by school. Following a routine of waking up at a given time, going to class at specified times, and returning home at a given time gives their life a sense of normalcy. The consistency of third period math following second period history enables pupils' minds to concentrate on academic subjects. Expectations for behavior and academic success are well-established and well-understood. Students lost this structure and regularity earlier this month when schools closed. Many students were sent home with packets of tasks to do, but they were free to choose when and how they would complete the assignments. At first, this increased freedom and choice feels nice.

According to Biswas, For the majority of pupils, education is about more than academics; it is about social relationships as well. Numerous friendships began as classmates sat next to one another in class. Walking down a certain hallway between fifth and sixth periods may be the highlight of a student's day, because she may be anticipating seeing the person she has been looking forward to seeing her crush on. Every day, groups of friends enjoy lunch together. Through their encounters with teachers and other school staff, students develop their ability to interact with authoritative officials who are not family members. Young kids are exposed to a variety of other cultures, ideas, and ways of life in their school's corridors and classrooms.

As stated by Carol Maternal, gradually enrolling in online classes following sometime in the lockdown phase at first, online programs appear to be more convenient. Where there was a complete shift in the atmosphere of the class. After a month, I realized that this form of education has a plethora of downsides and positives. Finally, I realized that this virus is not a boon to students, but rather a foreshadowing of the student's future life and the need to adapt to the online style of education. The movement in education is diametrically opposed to my entire career in teaching. This type of online course is frequently taken by Software Engineers from their homes.

Almost everything, it seems, is migrating online these days. Even our educational experiences are being transferred to the internet. It is possible that many individuals will disagree regarding the disadvantages of this phenomenon, but for the purposes of this article, I will highlight the advantages of obtaining an education online. This is an important topic to discuss because the future of education is leaning more and more towards the virtualization of physical educational institutions. A number of factors contribute to this: you can often learn whatever you want, it is more comfortable in a variety of ways, online courses often look good on resumes, the pace of learning is controlled by the learner, and the cost of virtual education is often less expensive than the cost of traditional educational opportunities.

  The ability to choose your own educational route is a feature of online education that will endure for a long time. This can be a dream come true for highly creative people, or for people who want to devote their time and energy to a single hobby. According to the eLearning Industry, "You can choose the curriculum of your desires in traditional education as well, but doing so would require you to fly away from home, live in a completely unfamiliar location, and struggle in an incredibly competitive learning environment." When it comes to online education, you can enroll in any program or course offered by traditional four-year institutions" Norman, Stephanie said. Consequently, the courses and majors that you are aspiring to pursue have a wide range of accessibility options available online. Instead of making unnecessarily difficult decisions, this boosts our chances of obtaining the education we desire.

For many pupils, comfort comes first, just as it did in the previous point. Numerous students select online education in order to avoid wasting time traveling to and from physical education establishments, as well as time on other activities, in order to complete their education. In the words of the Open Education Database, "Commercials that feature online students studying in their pajamas barely scratch the surface of one of the benefits of online education: the absence of traditional classroom sessions. Rather than battling traffic, leaving work early for class, or missing vital family time, students listen to lectures and complete homework that is delivered electronically to their computers. In order to avoid missing important class sessions (for example, due to inclement weather), students in online courses can always "attend" by participating in discussion boards or chat sessions, turning in their work on time, and watching lectures or reading materials". To put it another way, being an online student allows you to avoid many of the difficulties that traditional students face on a daily basis.

I prefer to study from the internet. The ability to learn in remote or disadvantaged regions is made possible through online education, which is simple to access and provides a convenient means to get course materials such as homework, tests, timetables, test results, and other information. I mention this because certain students may require a little extra time to fully comprehend the subject that is being presented in the classroom.

 Another problem is the inability of pupils to fit school into their schedules. Some folks are fortunate enough to be able to go to school and be carefree. Some children, on the other hand, must work in order to support their families and cannot afford to stay absent from school throughout the day. Online learning, on the other hand, can be extremely beneficial in this regard.

In some cases, timid students may be permitted to attend classes without being provided with other means of communicating their views, depending on the level of interaction in the classroom setting. This is important to note since if the kid is bashful, it will just make things more difficult. An example of this would be if he or she has a question, but believes it is stupid and hence does not ask it. This is something I have done myself on numerous occasions. Alternatively, you might be concerned that the class will laugh at the question. This brings me to my second point, which is the influence of others. Some people will sit in a classroom and become completely ignorant of the subject matter that is being taught as a result of what others may think or say to them.

In the field of education, online education is becoming increasingly popular. It's a refreshing change from the conventional classroom environment. It provides students from all over the world with the opportunity to further their studies. Students benefit from online education because it provides them with a more efficient and cost-effective learning environment. There are many different ways to provide a student with an education, which allows students of various learning styles to develop their own way of learning. However, it might be challenging for students to travel to a classroom and sit through an hour-long lesson four times a week for a variety of reasons, including scheduling constraints. There are many reservations about online education, but in this modern world without borders, it represents a fresh possibility for people from all over the world to further their education and become more employable.

[justjahthings]

SONG ASSOCIATION: Expressing the Inexpressible, Indefinable Introspection An Essay by Janice N. Vergara

When we came into existence, we were like an empty canvas waiting to be painted on. The very first artists to influence us were our parents. For the lucky ones, they were painted with love, care & inspiration -- like Murakami's Flower Matango painting. But for some, we could only imagine. As time passes, several other artists would come and go, leaving a trail of paint behind. The once empty canvas is now a combination of red, yellow, blue, and green. We are all artists with different canvases. Some plain and simple, some deep and vague, some still blank, waiting to be painted, and some are lost somewhere in the corner of an abandoned art room. This will aid in understanding the anthology, "Expressing the Inexpressible, Indefinable Introspection".

The first part of the anthology, Prelude to Cognitive Dissonance, got me on a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Reading it made me feel like I am all alone, eyes blindfolded, sitting on a steel chair inside a dark, empty room. With each paragraph, a different kind of presence would approach me, and different voices would whisper in my ear in circles before finally disappearing like a ripple. Leaving me with the emotions from their words; Anger. Woe. Love. It reminded me of the song Conduit by Knuckle Puck, because the lyrics refer to how someone pretends to be somebody else. Sometimes we do things that we know we shouldn't be doing, and it's hard to stop because we don't have the will to do so.

Moving on to the second part, “Life, in Numbers”, I felt like I was with Alec throughout her journey in life. From the time she remembers how she slept beside her mama, her childhood, up to her adult years. It also made me sad after I found out what happened to her at a jamboree. The struggle of not being able to tell anyone after being sexually harassed, and the trauma she had to carry throughout the years. But even though she has her struggles, that doesn’t stop her from persisting in her life. What she shared reminds me of the song Perfect by Simple Plan where Pierre Bouvier’s “Hey Dad look at me…” “...Did I grow up according to plan?” sounds like Alec questioning her deceased dad after she realized that she is wasting her time trying to be happy. But, in order to be happy, you just have to do the things you love and enjoy them without being pressured.

Moving on to the third part, “A Piece of His Loving Memory”, at first, I was really confused about what this poem was trying to deliver because of how it was written. Turns out, this is a Concrete poem. Going back, As I continue to read, I’m starting to realize that Ralph is actually pertaining to the death of his father. As soon as I concluded that it’s about his father, my mind began to think about Luther Vandross’ Dance With My Father . It talks about nothing but Luther’s happy childhood memories of growing up with his father and how he wished he could relive those happy moments once again. It may not be relatable to me because my dad’s still alive and well, but it saddens me whenever I close my eyes and think about the feeling of not being able to hold him physically again, forever.

Moving on to the fourth part, “A Graph of One-Sided Limit”. The moment I read this poem of Chris, the time I knew that this would really hit me hard. It’s like Chris wrote this for me. “This love is my love alone…” reminds me of Sam Smith’s Not In That Way when he said, “And I hate to say I want you when you make it so clear you don’t want me…” The feeling of your love not being reciprocated. Well, some things are just never meant to be, no matter how much we wish they were.

Moving on to the fifth part, “INRI (Don’t Stop; Keep Going)”. The part of the poem where it’s asking me to read from bottom to top got me confused. But after repeating it several times and placing my foot in the situation, I realized that it might be a dying person. It’s like the song Cancer by My Chemical Romance. I feel like both Gerard Way and Ian are facing the same situation. The line in the poem ���With the Idea I was running out of time, I saw you from afar; alone, broken, bleeding, dying;” “...My hours turn into minutes, then lesser, and lesser.” is a bit similar to the lyrics “Baby I’m just soggy from the chemo” “But counting down the days to go” “...Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you”. It hurts knowing that you won’t be able to spend the rest of your life with someone you love because of the short lifespan left to you.

Moving on to the sixth part, “A Sage in Every Inscription”, this gives me a thought that the persona is dreaming and fantasizing about the person she likes. It’s like she can do everything for that hopeless love. But later on, she realized that it’s just a complete obsession, which she finally learned to let go. It reminds me of that lyric in Frank Ocean’s song Bad Religion, “I can never make him love me love me love me…” Being in a hopeless romantic is hard, all you can do is a dream and fantasize about being with that person but in reality, it’s all just an illusion.

Moving on to the seventh part, “To the Little Prince”. It’s all about realizing your worth and being free from a toxic relationship. The lyrics from Rihanna’s Take a Bow, “But you put on quite a show, you really had me going now it’s time to go curtain’s finally closing” is what this poem reminds me of. It’s hard to let go of something you truly cherish, but if it’s for your own good, then it will all be worth it.

Moving on to the eighth part, “Wet Dream”. It’s very obvious what this poem is trying to imply. Sexual desire. The way the author explains everything that it now seems as his guilty pleasure. The song Need You Tonight by INXS is what I automatically think of as soon as I finish the poem. Well, everybody has sexual desires which turn into something especially when you’re with someone.

Moving on to the ninth part, “A Call for A Change”. I know every student, even I, could relate to this piece of art. It clearly states how the student is being pressured by the education system. Not everyone has the same intelligence, and not everyone is a fast learner. “Dr. Mr. X,…” we don’t know who among his teachers he is calling to. “You kept repeating no child would be left behind, but you kept giving grades lower than zero.” “You have totally forgotten that no child exists perfectly in all of your conditions.” It’s just sad how these lines perfectly state up what students really want to say. But despite all of this, we can’t do anything because this is how our education system really is. The song The Climb by Miley Cyrus is what makes me think of this poem. With the lyrics, “The struggles I'm facing” “The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down, but…” “No, I'm not breaking”. Because whatever struggles you are facing, you should fight and never give up. Education plays an important role in our society, which is the key to success for our future. And just like the line in this poem, “We are shaped and developed not based on our abilities, but based on society's”. And I… am also calling for a change.

Moving on to the tenth part, “Because You Are Immortalized”. The poem with the most positive kind I have read so far. I felt like this was intended to comfort her. Just like when you are in front of a mirror, saying all the good things because who would want to make yourself down right? The song Brave by Sara Bareilles is the one that reminds me of when I read this poem. “You can be amazing” “Say what you wanna say…” “...Honestly I wanna see you be brave”

Lastly, “A Letter to The Reader''. This really got me emotional. I wouldn't have thought that this is all in one author’s mind. Depression is a serious matter and shouldn’t be ignored. Xxxtentacion’s Sad! reminds me of this part. “Who am I? Someone that’s afraid to let go”. Someone who’s going through this should have at least one person who they can lean on, someone who can make them realize that they have a purpose in this world, and the one that reminds them that death is not the only option.

Here I am to begin the conclusion of this anthology. I can say that it’s like riding a roller coaster. The twist and the turns of everything inside of this. But if you would deeply understand what the author was really trying to say you would know and understand. It’s hard when you are going through something and you don’t know what to do and who you should be talking to because not everyone is really a listener. So, If you know someone going through something like this, make them be heard and don’t make them feel that they’re alone in this world.