justindrewmccann

[justindrewmccann]

[justindrewmccann]

if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you

[justindrewmccann]

I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT 

[justindrewmccann]

“Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness. But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.”

[justindrewmccann]

I’m not the type of girl anybody wants to be with. My body takes up too much space and I laugh too loudly for too long and I shout when other people are quiet and when I’m drunk I type in caps and I always wanted to be mysterious and beautiful and untouchable like other girls but if you ask I will give you everything and I fucking despise that

[justindrewmccann]

Shailene Woodley for Bust Magazine

[justindrewmccann]

I find it comical when women think I care about

Stretchmarks If one titty is slightly bigger than the other Birthmarks Fat areas Bumps or discoloration Cellulite Sweat Morning breath Human flaws

If I have you naked in front of me and I am naked too, the only thing on my mind is where am I putting my mouth first

[justindrewmccann]

[justindrewmccann]

[justindrewmccann]

"I’m actually an incredible goofball. I do imitations and joke around all day. I keep things light in my life."(X) 

[justindrewmccann]

U ever been so tired ur eyelids burn when u blink

[justindrewmccann]

LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS

[justindrewmccann]

quick fixes for a shitty day - brush your teeth - exfoliate - sort out your eyebrows - do your laundry - change your sheets - hug a fluffy thing - eat a snack - reach out to someone even if it’s just a text - get naked and dance a lil

[justindrewmccann]

justin sexting: what colour bra u wearin haha

[justindrewmccann]

2 notes doesnt pay the rent 

[justindrewmccann]

i have this problem where i don’t have enough time to actually do things because i’m too busy sitting on my ass doing nothing

[justindrewmccann]

boys like it when youre playfully mean to them. call them names. punch them on the shoulder. murder their families