justicelanierarchive-blog

[justicelanierarchive-blog]

psa let’s talk about justice’s new fc

it’s canon as hell sorry liam payne but you had your time

ok mr grumpy gills

cry with me

[justicelanierarchive-blog]

i carry the weight of you in my heavy heart; self

Lay down here beside me in the shallow water Beside me where the sun is shining on us still Lay down here beside me in the hallowed water Beside me with the silver lining stays until The sirens’ calling

Waking up from nightmares in the pitch black is not a new concept for Justice. He's familiar with the feel of terror pulsing through his veins, in the hotness that's waving over him uneasily, in the sheen of sweat that's coated his body and made his growing hair stick to his skin. It's common, whether it be from withdrawal symptoms (because he was trying to quit his dependency on pills, he really was, it was just hard) or haunting images that he always thought he was desensitized to. Most of the murders he'd committed and all the tortures he'd been a hand in rarely caught up with him; he knew what he was doing when they happened and he knew they needed to be done, that he was doing an act of fairness for the rest of the world by eliminating numbers of the bad supernatural crowd. He was self destructive in a way that, when hunting alone, he had the tendency to lure them in with seduction or a similar method. It didn't phase him much, because it was a one night stand that ended with him having to burn a body. It only happened once that he had to research longer than one night, that he couldn't get all his information from another source and go in for the kill, and it was that one time which ruined him. He was in too deep but he made a promise and he had to stick to it. He had to avenge his brother, even if it meant killing a girl he'd fallen in love with.

He can recall every detail of it in vividness, all the way down to where things were placed in her house. There were even items of clothing of his own strewn on the floor from times he'd stumbled there after work and fallen into bed with her, lounging around her place until his half-naked self had to go home and clean for another shift of work. (Things were like that between them: messy and casual, nothing serious or defined. They could never be explained, they were a thing all of their own.) Justice remembers the time that he walked through the door, 5:04pm being displayed on the wall clock.

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"They're living and breathing, is that not enough?!" The words were out of his mouth without a thought and a semblance of shock could be seen in the depths of his eyes even at his own actions. Overly unpredictable, it wasn't unusual for someone to never be able to guess how Justice would react to anything, but this was a new area; with his brothers, adopted and promised ones, he'd always had a sense of control. He was unstable at best, but there was a feeling of calm whenever he had those close to him. Even though he'd lost a few, and never let the rest close enough, Isaac's coming to Ashenvale had settled some of his erratic behavior. Yet despite that, they had reached a breaking point, all because of Justice's secrets. Anger was bubbling under his vein and he could hardly string out a coherent thought, and the attempts at such ceased when a fist collided with his face.

we're meant to be brothers; jisaac

[justicelanierarchive-blog]

Well, I’m Dex, and I heard you were a hunter, not sure if you still are, but either way, I hope you like the present. Use it as a weapon, decoration, whatever, I hope you like it.

- Dexerril le Fay

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"My parents wanted me home so I went -- s'nothing to do with you or anyone else."

"I’m not hiding, but…you left. Do you do this to everyone or is it just me you had to get away from?"

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"Sia... you here? Hey, look, I'm really sorry about disappearing. Stop hiding."

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thank you letter.

Dear To Raleigh,

I fucking hate letters and I should just type this up because it at least it has spell check but dunno can't be fucked. On the invite for the bonfire it said to write a thing and so here I am, writing a thing, on the floor in the lounge in Florida with you sitting 'bout a meter away playing with my niece. You're part of the family now, how does that feel? Cause frankly it fucking terrifies me. I can't imagine it being anyone else but you though so there's that. 

Honestly this is just to thank you for being in my life. You and I both know - and let's not sugarcoat it - that I'm totally fucked up. Also this was not meant to happen but it did and I don't regret a thing. ... Well, I cringe sometimes when I think about the weird shit I do but I know you love me so that makes it a bit better. Actually that makes it loads better. Someone loves me and it's you and that's whoa.

I forgot where I was going with this because I just stared at you for about ten minutes and I'm pretty sure you noticed but whatever you're cute and a better uncle to Gracie than I am...... fuck you. Just kidding. ♥ Ignore that.

I know this started with me calling you a monster and you acting like one and us both threatening to kill each other but I think we've really come a long way since then, huh? We're a model relationship in my eyes. Least now when I call you a monster I mean it in the most endearing way. You're the best and I like your fangs and your face and your eyes and when you hold me all night to keep the nightmares away and calm me down when I'm having a panic attack and how you make me a better person. Thanks for deciding I was worth it.

I hope I'm worth eternity because I want forever and a day with you, Raleigh. Love you.

Justice.

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text; justice ⇄ raleigh

Raleigh: I'll go.

Raleigh: If you really want. I'll go.

Justice: Of course I do. I'll pick you up so make sure you're ready.

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that girl is a goddamn problem; self

Daughter. Justice has a daughter.

Looking to his side, his gaze falls on the clock by his bed. 7:12am. He knows all hope for getting more sleep is lost so he stands from his sitting position on the edge of his bed, lifting from the poised position of his elbows on his knees and chin in his hands. Trying to make as minimal noise as possible, he moves through his room to the connecting bathroom, splashing water on his face and taking a moment to stare at his reflection. It takes everything within him not to snap his fist into the glass and watch it shatter, wishing he could be nothing but a speck of broken material on the floor. Instead, he pivots away and lets the self-hatred simmer, left to boil inside as he begins to dress himself in the clothes he wore the day before that still hung on one of his bed posts. He didn't bother taking his wallet or his phone - instead opting to leave them on his bedside table - and only swiped up his keys on the way out. The man paused near the door, idling as he looked over his shoulder at the diminutive frame sleeping on his couch. It was so familiar, the mere sight prompted a strike of pain in his chest like someone had pierced him with a knife. If only I were so lucky, he mused.

As much as Justice wanted to walk, he couldn't be bothered bracing the morning chill or the questioning stares that would come his way. His car was a sanctuary and even though he had no intentions of a destination, he hopped and warmed up the engine anyway. When he'd pulled out of the drive way, he was moving in mechanics, his brain thinking about other things as his hands directed the way. Before he knew it, his car was stationary by the beach. A familiar ache was burning in his chest, seeming to grow in intensity as he stepped out of his car, slamming the door behind him and approaching an intimate spot he frequented often with his favorite beach-goer. The emotions were written all over his face by the time he reached the giant rock Ocasia would always lay on, throwing insults mixed with compliments at him like it was the only thing she knew as he fished for shells in the shallow water and almost (always) getting knocked by the infrequent large waves.

"Why?" Justice croaked, his fingertips running over the rough terrain, voice thick with emotions. At the sensation of tears, he immediately straightened, looking out at the water as he inhaled a deep breath. Raising his fist, he wiped at his eyes, ignoring the few drops that had managed to escape. This wasn't meant to be happening; the nightmares had slowly been dropping in frequency but now he was meant to be moving on. He was also meant to be getting a good nights rest before packing and going to spend a few days with his parents in Florida. Why did Sia have to turn up now? Why did Ocasia's memory refuse to let him rest and insist on haunting him? She always joked in vain that he'd never be able to leave her, but he never took it so literally. The siren he'd been drawn to for the sake of a kill had managed, against all odds, to find a place in his shielded heart.

Regret was one of the only few emotions he could comprehend as he leaned against the rock, eyelids falling close over his orbs as he gripped onto the stone for support. He wished for so many things to have never happened, but a small voice in his head was saying that if they didn't, then so many things would be different. He wouldn't even have stayed so long in Ashenvale if Carter hadn't been murdered. Remembering his old friend caused Justice to have to bite back the bile that was threatening to roll up from his stomach. He mourned his two fallen friends, but right now he was mourning the loss of a lover -- one with whom he had a relationship he never fully accepted or understood, because he was too busy trying to find vengeance, in letting himself be brainwashed into hating supernaturals. There were monsters out there, Justice knew that. He faced one every morning in the mirror.

Now he's too far gone. Ocasia wasn't just a siren he fell in too deep with and escaped with a guilty conscience, to be haunted, but able to move on and find happiness. The sorrow would always be there, the reminder staring back at him from a smaller version of her, the embodiment and personifications of all the mistakes he made as a youngblooded hunter who wanted revenge for his late friend. There were too many things that would constantly be on his mind, all because of Sia. On top of all of that was the fact his daughter is already half-raised but is now in his care, lacking a mother figure and pestering a junkie father figure like he's got the answers at the bottom of his bottle of pills. 

Staring out at the horizon and the dim sun, Justice bit his lip for a moment before whispering, his voice getting lost in the wind. "I'm sorry, Casi. I'm so sorry. I love you," He paused as he held back another wave of tears, the emotions swirling like a storm inside of him. Time escaped him as he stood there, swallowing the lump in his throat and gaining the ability to speak again. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, but right now because- because I can't promise that she'll be safe. That she won't end up like you." He all but choked the last sentence before turning away and pacing back to his car, shaking his head like he could physically remove all these voices from his head.

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text; justice ⇄ raleigh

Justice: Hey I'm flying out to Florida this afternoon cause I'm too lazy to drive.. got an extra ticket for you... if you want.

Justice [unsent]: Or I'll just take my daughter.

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With alcohol circling in his veins, Justice knew he was beyond having total control of himself. He'd been drinking for countless hours and also hadn't slept in over a day. The severity of the news being delivered to him hadn't quite hit him yet, and he knew that in a day or two he'd feel like the force of a tonne truck; now, all he could focus on was remembering his last time with Ocasia, and how they'd somehow created life -- and that life was persistent in knowing what happened. All he could do was swallowing the lump in his throat and finally fix his gaze on her, resisting the urge to run and throw up. It took him a prolonged moment but eventually he shook his head.

Sia chuckled weakly before she shook her head. “No, that’s what happens when you’re left in an ocean and then dropped off at someone’s place.” She could tell that this was affecting Justice a lot more than intended, and there was a part of her that was finding a sense of enjoyment from the actions, but it was mostly just a state of curiosity, a desire to observe her dad and see what he was doing, what he would say in result of the words that she spoke. “First time for everything, right dad? Maybe it’s time you share, for your daughter’s sake.”

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"Sounds like you haven't met that many great people." Justice responded instantly, his voice a low murmur as he averted his gaze. He smoothed his shirt with his palms before tucking them into the front pocket of his jeans; it meant he wouldn't fidget or shake, hopefully, if he trapped them in a confined space. That case wasn't the same for other parts of his body, as his eyes were still struggling to fix on her face. Every time they did, his stomach would swoop and his heart stutter from the resemblance. "Extremely hard, actually. Never spoken about it before. Don't like thinking about it."

"The nicest person I’ve ever met," Sia replied as she looked at Justice, curious by the way that he was wiping away his tears. She hadn’t really been told how to deal with this, just what to do, so this was a different experience for her. The girl stepped forward, unsure as to what her next move would be. She knew what was expected of her, but for some reason Sia wasn’t listening to that part of herself, the one that was taught to wound. "Explain it, then?" she tried. "How hard can it be to tell me, daddy?"

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Justice was quick to banish the emotions as soon as they appeared on his face, raising his hand and wiping at his eyes with his knuckles. He cleared his throat, swallowing down the thickness in it and taken a few moments before he responded. "Who took care of you?" As much as he wanted to be on the offense - since that route was easy to him, it was second nature from all the times he'd hunted supernaturals as if they were wild animals - he couldn't pull that courage whilst looking at Sia. But he couldn't tell her the truth, either. "It's... it's complicated."

Justice’s reactions, the way that he seemed to be breaking, was everything that the witch wanted out of Sia, but the girl didn’t understand what victory was to be found from this. She didn’t feel better, watching her father cry. In fact, it only started a weirder feeling inside of her. “The person who took care of me,” she said slowly, staring at the tears running down Justice’s face, confusion on her own. “She said they found me in the ocean because my mom was dead, that my dad killed her and that’s why she didn’t come back for me.” Sia looked at Justice, reaching out again for him. “Tell me, is it true?”

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evil angel breaking benjamin

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A tremor was slowly working into more visibility through his limbs as he stood there. Justice was still like a mountain only moments before, the waves of emotion running over him and rendering him paralyzed, but Sia's touch prompted a move. His body realigned so he was facing her as he took a step back, head tilted to the side as a few tears escaped and cascaded down his cheek. "Who told you that?" He whispered, voice breaking.

There were instant consequences to what the hybrid said and she knew that based on the way that Justice reacted to the statement. She don’t even know if it was true but there was something about what she was saying that was affecting the hunter more than she thought it would. A tiny part of her knew that she should do something but she didn’t know what there was to do. An even smaller part other felt bad about the fact that she had hurt the man who was her father. “Is it true?” she whispered before she stepped forward. “Daddy?” Sia slowly stepped forward, swallowing thickly before she reached forward, hesitantly touching the man’s arm with her hand.

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Justice looked more like a walrus than anything as he sat there, index fingers pointed down, his upper body bopping from side to side as he tried his best at calming his own racing heart by being immature. At Raleigh's consent, his arms dropped and an eerie sense settled over him. He struggled to make eye contact, instead keeping his gaze fixed down at Raleigh's neck; having the vampires eyes on his own wasn't something unusual. He was used to the hungry stare and more often than not would tear off his clothes from it, but now the roles were reversed, he lacked the essentials, and all he could think of to do in his inebriated state was caress Raleigh's pale skin. (And get distracted by how soft it is. That happened a lot, though.)

The main allure for trying Raleigh's blood was down to the fact he knew it would send him even more over the edge into incoherence. That's what he needed. From meeting Sia, the memories of Ocasia, and the phone calls with his mother back in St. A, Justice was more than happy to lose his mind and forget about it. He was actually surprised that Raleigh had said yes; although most of him had hoped for it, and counted on it since Raleigh gave him most things, it was different when it came to drugs. The vampire had always made snide remarks about 'the pharmacy' in his bathroom and how he tends to taste like narcotics more often than not. V was another drug, one that was easy to get addicted to, but there he was: willing to give Justice what he wanted. Like usual.

Sucking the edge of his lower lip into his mouth, the human reached for Raleigh's arm, the nerves melting away from his expression as he forced a bravado. He pushed Raleigh's wrist towards his own lips - where the fangs Tice loved were hiding behind - and said, "Break the skin for me."

i'll be yours to keep || Justleigh

[justicelanierarchive-blog]

Alcohol provoked many of Justice's internalised traits; it brought to light his childish jokes and chattiness that he'd never quite embraced when sober, whilst muddling with his head and changing his attention span in the true name of intoxication. It was a surprise he hadn't passed out yet since he'd started drinking after his work shift at the bar the night before his birthday and had carried on until now; a warm buzz had settled under his skin and he could very well close his eyes to sleep, but there was an indescribable force keeping him from doing so, in forcing his dark gaze to stay glued to the ceiling even as Raleigh knelt beside him. Without thought, his hand reached out on reflex, fingers sliding between Raleigh's hair in the softest caress. He felt the man freeze as the slurred words left his mouth and that prompted his head to turn, eyes finally drawing away to settle on Raleigh's face. "You know what I mean." he frowned.

Pulling himself up, he moved slowly and far less gracefully that he wanted, resetting his frame upright. He kept a hand on Raleigh's shoulder, forcing the vampire to stay on the floor as he shifted to sit in front of him. The frown on his expression had turned into something of amusement as his fingertips ran up and down the vampires neck. "It's not a big black market thing for nothing. I wanna try some -- you know, some of your blood," There was a pause before the alcohol kicked in and forced a quick remark, Justice lifted his hands and feigning fangs with his index fingers as he spoke. "It'll be good practice for when I'm actually a vampire."

Actually saying the words aloud caused his heart to skip a beat and fear to flicker in the depths of his eyes. Becoming a vampire for Raleigh was an eternal commitment, one that he was ready to make even though he lived with insecurities that he would one day wake up alone.

i'll be yours to keep || Justleigh