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justdontasks-stuff · 1 month ago

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Dead on Main Soulmate AU [Part 3]

In this AU everyone is born with a tiny red heart tattooed on the inside of their wrist. If you're close to your soulmate the heart will beat, and when you meet them the heart turns to gold. If your soulmate dies, the heart will fade to black.

Part 1 | Previous part |

One thing that Jason hated about being the adopted son of Bruce Wayne was when he had to accompany the man to galas and other public events.

Bruce was very understanding, he would let Jason stay back home for most of the events he attended, but as Bruce's son Jason could only skip out on so many events before people started asking questions.

Granted, there was no reason why Jason was skipping out other than that he simply did not want to go, but the fewer people asking questions the better.

And so, Jason begrudgingly dressed up in a disgustingly expensive suit, put on a fake smile and pretended to be someone he was not to the faces of the same people who would turn their noses up at him as soon as they thought he, and more importantly Bruce, couldn't see.

It was exhausting to be honest, but Jason understood why it was necessary. These people were like bloodhounds when it came to sniffing out drama and gossip. If they got even the slightest hint that there was something weird going on in Wayne Manor they would not rest until they found something.

Of course their secret night-time activities were better hidden than that, but it was better not to give the socialites a reason to suspect anything in the first place.

Still, after nearly an hour of just wandering around exchanging fake smiles and empty small talk Jason was getting bored.

He headed over towards the refreshments, hoping to bring his energy back up even just a little bit.

As he made his way over, Jason took note of a girl who looked to be around his age, wearing a black and purple dress. She seemed to be inspecting some of the available appetizers with an odd intensity.

Jason silently walked up next to her, sure to keep a polite amount of space between them as he picked up one of the fancy foods that looked good enough for him.

He turned to look at the girl who still appeared to be judging the table, from this angle he could see she was wearing quite dark makeup, and more eyeliner than half the women in the room put together. He thought it suited her well.

She must have sensed his eyes on her, because she stopped her judging of the food and turned to meet his gaze instead, one eyebrow quirked in a silent question.

Jason tried for a casual, friendly tone as he spoke,

"Is something wrong with the food? Or did that one sandwich just happen to offend you?"

The girl gave him a weird look, but shook her head,

"No, just hoped there would be more options, there's meat on almost everything."

Jason looked back at the table, and she was right. The vegetarian options were quite limited.

Before he could think of something to say the girl sighed and turned to face away from the table,

"Whatever, it's not like I was that hungry anyway, just wanted something to do before I die of boredom."

As Jason quickly finished his own appetizer he smirked at her,

"Now that is something I can relate to. If I have to pretend to care about the weather one more time tonight I swear my brain will melt."

The girl let out a short huff of laughter than sounded like it agreed with him, which Jason took as a victory. Look at him go, actually having a somewhat friendly conversation at one of these events. Who would have thought?

The girl seemed to have the same thoughts, as she reached out a hand towards him,

"It's nice to know someone here has some sense. I'm Sam Manson."

Jason shook her hand with a smile,

"Jason Wayne"

Sam had a mischievous smile on her face as she answered,

"Oh I know, even if I didn't recognize you I could have guessed by the looks my parents are sending me."

Jason looked to the side discreetly until his eyes landed on a middle aged couple that were sending twin icy glares their way. He recognized a few people in their circle as some of the more influential guests in attendance tonight, and was sure that had that not been the case they would be rushing over to fetch their daughter.

He turned back as Sam continued,

"They definitely think I'm bothering you, talking about boring things like environmentalism or animal cruelty. Suppose I should go bat my eyelashes at some other rich guy that can talk about important things like his own money for a full hour."

She sent him a pained grimace as she started backing away, and Jason laughed sympathetically,

"Best of luck with that, it was nice meeting you Sam."

She nodded at him with a smile,

"You too Jason."

Then she walked away, soon getting absorbed into a circle of people to join a conversation Jason was sure was absolutely riveting.

He let out a short sigh, steeling himself before he walked off in another direction, doing the same thing.

When Sam said that she was dying of boredom, she was being polite.

She was regretting agreeing to come to this stupid gala by now.

When her parents had first asked Sam to attend with them she hadn't even heard them out before she turned them down, which they knew to expect.

That was definitely why they had immediately dropped the bomb that the gala was happening in Gotham of all places.

They knew exactly how badly Sam wanted to visit the city, the Gothic architecture speaking to her soul. While her parents didn't necessarily approve of her love for the dark and gloomy, they sure knew how to use it to their advantage.

With the added promise that she'd have plenty of free time after the gala to properly experience the city, she was sold.

Sam had even compromised with her mother when it came to her dress. Her mother wanted her in a pink and poofy abomination of a dress, while Sam insisted on her usual black.

They had met somewhere in the middle for once, the dress having none of the pink, but a lot of the poof. Since she'd had to choose between sacrificing color or shape, Sam would have to live with the inconvenient skirt, it was far better than the slimmer pastel pink dress her mother had tried to get her into. And the dress even had purple accents, that was close enough to pink.

After Sam reminded her parents that darker colours would probably suit the theme better than pink, they had agreed. She had even been able to sneakily put on some makeup in her usual style.

Considering both the setting and her attire, this was overall one of the more bearable galas Sam had attended.

But after having enough bland small talk to last her a lifetime in the span of one night she was ready to gouge her own eyes out.

She'd had the one short encounter with one Jason Wayne, who was very down to earth for being the son of the richest man there. Though, she supposed given his background that was to be expected.

She wasn't complaining, even just one conversation that didn't melt her brain was an accomplishment in her book. Unfortunately, she knew by the looks her parents sent her that the longer she kept 'bothering' a Wayne the more she'd have to pay for it later.

So she had grumpily walked away, engaging in a few more basic conversations as she went. She knew that most people in attendance didn't pay her much mind. The rebellious daughter of one of the less stinking rich families there, she didn't exactly have a lot of pull.

Good, she would prefer they not acknowledge her at all to be honest.

Eventually though, Sam gave in and snuck her phone out to text her friends for a distraction. Tucker was unhelpful like expected, happy to laugh at her suffering. She sent a vaguely threatening text his way, which had the desired effect of shutting him up.

Luckily, Sam had at least one friend that could sympathise with her. Maybe it was due to Danny's new responsibilities as prince, he was suddenly much more understanding about having to put up with high society.

Danny: you want me to swoop in and save you yet? :P

Sam: at this point i'd take a rogue attacking us over staying here any longer.

Tucker: you know saying that shit in gotham is just asking for trouble

Sam: I swear I'm gonna do it, fucking watch me.

Tucker: aight lemme just hack into the cameras real quick

Danny: can we try not to provoke Fate more than necessary? that's gonna become my problem soon :(

Sam: Yes we know, it's very sad. You know what else is sad? The things I'm about to do to the next old geezer that tells me to smile :)

Danny: alright let's not resort to murder maybe. omw.

Sam: Murder would be the kind option, I'm not feeling kind.

But also not a great idea, if my parents see me leave I'm dead.

Danny: easy solution, they won't see you leave

meet me outside in 20

there is a balcony, right? or else this is awkward

After assuring her friend that there was indeed a balcony, Sam slowly made her way outside. She only got caught up in a few short conversations on her way, and before too long she was stepping out into the chilly fall air.

She leaned against the railing, looking out over the Gotham skyline. The heavy pollution of the city made truly fresh air hard to come by, but at least it was pleasantly brisk outside. It certainly helped Sam wake her mind up after too much time spent in brain-dead conversation.

She shifted her gaze down to the cityscape spread out below her, well aware that she wouldn't see Danny coming. He would probably be flying invisibly before he even crossed the state border just to be safe. The last thing he wanted was Batman's attention.

Danny had slowly been coming to terms with the fact that he would inevitably meet some members of the Justice League at some point, especially once he became king, but for now he was doing everything he could to stay off their radar.

At this point nobody in Amity wanted the JLA involved anymore, most people understood that the heroes were not properly equipped for the town at all, and considering the fact that the most likely outcome of the JLA showing up now was Phantom having to deal with a possessed Superman, the people of Amity Park were happy to keep the other heroes out of it.

The attacks had significantly died down over the past year anyway, as Danny came more to terms with his ghostly side. When the accident first happened he had been trying desperately to cling onto his humanity and deny most of his ghostliness, which had led to him not fully understanding the other ghosts.

Once Danny accepted that he wasn't fully human anymore, and that he was still the same person despite that fact, he had started learning more about his other half.

Turns out, in a dimension where all the residents are unkillable (since they're already dead) duking it out in a friendly brawl is considered normal. Once Danny learned about this, he'd started visiting the Realms more often.

He visited regularly to fight it out with his old rogues, to pay his less violent allies a visit, and in general just learn more about the culture.

It was during one such friendly visit that Danny had learned about the rules of conquest in the Infinite Realms. Upon defeating Pariah Dark he had immediately earned the title of Crown Prince, and was to be crowned King once he was of age.

Hadn't that been an unpleasant surprise? Danny rarely went more than a day without complaining about his future position.

As Sam was lost in thought, the cold bite in the air reminded her, it was already fall. The council had agreed to let Danny wait until the summer after he turned sixteen to be crowned.

His birthday had been a few weeks back, which meant there was less than a year left.

Sam was simultaneously sympathetic for her friend, since he clearly didn't want the title and the infinite power that came with it, but also incredibly proud of him.

Had it been anyone else receiving such a position she would have worried about what all that power would do to that person.

She did not have that worry when it came to Danny, that was what made him so incredible in her eyes. Only Danny could be handed the key to infinite power on a silver platter, and want to pass it on to someone else.

She realized her thoughts had started wandering like they usually did when she thought about her friend for too long, but she couldn't help it.

Two years ago Sam had been in love with Danny, and though they'd come to the joint decision that it was better far for them to stay friends, that didn't mean Sam's admiration for her friend would go away.

She had simply learned to love him as her best friend instead. Not that it had been easy, but Danny had been understanding. Had it not been for the fact that they both had their own soulmates somewhere out there waiting for them they might have tried harder at making a relationship work, but it simply wasn't meant to be.

After emotions had settled a bit they had grown all the closer for it, a new sort of understanding between them.

Finally, after Sam had been standing there reminiscing for nearly ten minutes, she felt a familiar comforting chill in the air next to her, and just a second later Danny faded into view leaning casually against the railing next to her with a shit-eating grin on his face,

"Sorry to keep you waiting, traffic was awful on the way here."

Sam pointedly rolled her eyes at Danny's usual dry humor, but let go of the railing to face him instead,

"Let's leave quickly, my parents have definitely noticed I'm missing and I'd rather not be here if they come looking."

Danny let out out a quick "Yes ma'am", wrapping one arm around her waist, fumbling for a second trying to find her legs through the stupid poofy skirt. Sam sighed is exasperation and pulled at her dress to get it out of the way,

"Unfortunately it was this or bright pink, so we'll have to live with the extra skirts."

This time, Danny easily scooped her up bridal style, the skirt bunched up in Sam's lap. Had this been two years ago there would have been a fluttering feeling in her chest, but that was then, and Sam had long since gotten over those feelings. Instead, she just sighed when he quirked an eyebrow at her,

"Live?"

Sam smacked him in the shoulder,

"You know what I meant, now get going ghost boy."

Danny, used to Sam's dismissal of his jokes by now, did as she said and lifted off the ground slowly, letting his invisibility wash over the both of them, and then he was off into the night sky.

They'd have to return to Sam's hotel room before her parents, but that wouldn't happen for at least a few more hours.

Until then, an aerial tour of Gotham didn't sound too bad.

Jason had quickly grown bored of the dull conversations again.

He carefully excused himself from the older woman who was talking his ear off, and tried to act like he had a destination in mind as he walked away.

He ended up taking refuge in a corner that was conveniently covered, he doubted anyone would notice him staying back there for a few minutes as he took a breather.

However, after only a moment of taking cover, he spotted a familiar figure across the room. The one person he'd had a bearable conversation with during the night was walking out onto the balcony.

He considered it for a minute. He didn't want to intrude if Sam was trying to get some time to herself like him, but he also thought she had seemed to appreciate a normal human to talk to just as much as him. Surely she wouldn't mind his company too much?

Mind made up, Jason decided that he could use some fresh air himself and started slowly making his way over.

He took his time walking over, stopping to suffer through one more conversation on the way as he allowed some time to pass. He didn't want to rush after Sam the moment she walked away on her own and risk coming across wrong, he just wanted some air and decent conversation, damn it.

Maybe he could ask her about the environment to break the ice, it had been the first example she gave of a topic she supposedly liked to talk about, so she must have some interest in it. Jason wasn't overly excited by the topic, but it was sure to be more interesting than anything else being talked about in the room.

Maybe he could test the waters and see if Sam was interested in books at all, that might actually wake him up. She seemed like a person who would enjoy a good book. Maybe they could exchange recommendations.

Spurred on by the lure of talking to someone who both didn't care who his dad was and had more to talk about than business, Jason once again made his way towards the balcony after a few more minutes.

As Jason walked out into the pleasantly chilly air, he stopped short as soon as he laid eyes on Sam.

She wasn't alone.

That wouldn't be a problem on it's own obviously, they'd had one short conversation, Jason really didn't care who she talked to.

No, the problem was exactly who she was with.

Jason couldn't see the stranger's face, as both of them had their backs turned his way. All Jason could make out from behind were a pair of fully black cargo pants and a black hoodie with some white highlights. They matched the shock of white hair on their head, it was so bright it may have been glowing. Actually, the stranger's whole body appeared to be giving off a faint glow.

Jason was confused, he was pretty damn sure this stranger had not been at the gala. So how the hell had they gotten to the balcony?

Jason stuck to the shadows as he snuck closer, trying to get a better look.

He was stopped short after just a few more steps.

There was no way.

Feeling a strange sense of déjà vu, Jason shakily pulled at the sleeve of his suit jacket.

The heart was beating again.

Jason's brain fumbled with the different pieces of the puzzle.

His soulmate was nearby, and the only people close enough were Sam and the newcomer. He'd had a whole conversation with Sam earlier, and his tattoo had firmly remained still. He remembers shaking her hand, and his tattoo stayed mockingly black.

But now it was beating, and there was only one other person present.

A person who had an oddly inhuman look about them.

Jason thought back to the last time he'd felt his tattoo move. He had been sure that he'd been saved by the ghost of his soulmate.

His soulmate had been dead for two years, yet they were standing in front of him. But they did not look like a.. regular person. Or a living person, rather.

Was his soulmate really a ghost? If so, how were they here?

And why were they here talking to someone other than Jason?

When his soulmate had saved him from.. something.. Jason had been sure that they came to him specifically to protect him. He'd taken comfort, in the fact that his other half had done something so impossible, had crossed the line between life and death just to save him. To give Jason something they didn't get, a life to live.

As Jason fumbles, not knowing what to do but knowing he should do something, anything, the pair in front of him move. The stranger smoothly picked Sam up bridal style after a short struggle with her skirt. Jason has barely a second to hurriedly walk towards them before gravity seems to disregard the pair, and they float upward slowly before fading from sight completely.

Jason's breath catches in his throat, and he knows they're gone because the pleasant chill that had enveloped him the moment he walked onto the balcony goes with them, and all that remains is the biting cold of the fall weather.

So, floating away and turning invisible, they sure seem like the traits of a ghost. But really, what did he expect? Jason's soulmate was dead, there was no other explanation.

No, what bothered him, was that Jason had spent one year thinking he would never get to meet his soulmate, then another thinking he'd have to wait for the afterlife to meet them. That had been some comfort, he'd live the life his soulmate wanted him to, then they'd be united when it was time.

But his soulmate had been there. Fully visible, corporeal, and they had been there to meet someone else. Did Jason not matter to them, the way they did to Jason?

Jason had felt the heart on his wrist beat before they had flown off, so surely his soulmate's heart did the same. And yet, they had simply left without sparing Jason even a glance.

Jason slowly walked over to where his soulmate had been standing mere moments ago, using the railing to steady himself as he looked out over Gotham. His soulmate was out there somewhere, in the same city, and yet Jason had no way to reach them.

Feeling more alone than he's felt in many years, Jason just stands there. He sheds no physical tears, but the cityscape grows blurry in front of him as his eyes grow misty. He doesn't let a single sound escape his lips, ignoring the cries lodged in his throat.

But inside, the cries of his heart resounds through his entire being as he grieves the loss of his soulmate once again.

First part | Previous part |

Tags: @craftyexpertchild @666deaddash999 @lazerswordweilder @bellathecatastrophe @wanderwithwings @vexishereandveryqueer @moonsbluekingdom @princessoftheturtles @phoenixdemonqueen

Thank you for reading <3

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justdontasks-stuff · 1 month ago

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After Danny exposed Vlad and his corrupt dealings, the older halfa got the last laugh by getting his blacklists from all engineering jobs. Desperate for a job Danny ends up applying for a personal assistant position and he actually gets it. It only takes him a week to see how detached Bruce Wayne is from his own company. AND he has his 16 year old son running it as CEO!? No way is he letting that slide.

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justdontasks-stuff · 1 month ago

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Imagine Dick actually adopted Jason. Like that's so chaotic— especially when Jason comes back from the dead.

12 year old Jason: Hey, Dick? Since I'm adopted by you, does that mean you're my father?

18 year old Dick: ...I'm still too young to called dad so no, I'm just your legal guardian.

Jason: Okay, dad.

Dick, tearing up: Please no.

——————

Jason after resurrection as Red Hood: I am your son.

Dick dating Wally: Tf?????? How would I— JASON?

——————

Bruce: All of you are my sons.

Jason: Technically, I'm your grandson.

Damian and Tim: ?????? What.

Dick: Technically he's right. You've been a grandpa since I was 18.

Bruce: ...Fuck, I forgot about that.

Damian and Tim: WHAT THE FUCK?????

——————

Bruce and Jason arguing:

Bruce: You're grounded!

Jason: TF? You're not my dad, Dick is!

Dick: Please, for the last time, I'm not really your dad.

Jason's dramatic ass: GASPS?! I'M ADOPTED?!

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justdontasks-stuff · 1 month ago

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Ok but like what if Lian one day, instead of Jayjay, calls Jason Jaydad?

She always heard Roy call him Jaybird or whatever, and she knew that was not really his name. Anyways, she meets Bruce at some point, and he eventually calls him Jaylad, but maybe their relationship is not great yet, so he calls him Jason… and so Lian makes the most logical connection a 5 year old would make: Dad calls him Jaybird (because he’s Jayjay and he’s Dad’s bird), Jayjay’s dad calls him Jay-son (because he’s Jayjay and he’s his son), it is only logical that Lian calls him Jay-whatever-he’s-to-her.

For some time she still calls him Jayjay, cause she’s not sure what he is to her? He is Dad’s bestest friend, and he comes over a lot, and he picks her up from preschool sometimes, and he makes her pancakes with blueberries when she asks nicely, and he reads her books at night, and he makes the extra effort to make the best voices, and he hugs her, and he kisses Dad sometimes, when they think she’s not looking, and— Oh.

So, after she has done a great lot of thinking, she comes to the conclusion that Jayjay must be her Dad too, but he’s not Dad. Jaydad? Hmm doesn’t roll off her tongue the way Jayjay does, but maybe if she tries…

Jason cries the first few times she calls him that. Roy is amused (he also cries a little).

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justdontasks-stuff · 1 month ago

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Ghost Beauty Standards

So what if ghosts have their own scale for beauty?

Waxy pale skin, half-lidded eyes, empty eyes, colorless lips, ashen complexion, and sunken cheeks.

These are considered the most attractive features of a ghost without the extra bells and whistles.

Tim did not know this when he sat at his desk after pulling a week straight of sleepless case-solving and his desk neighbor was staring at him.

Danny had never seen anyone more beautiful until he noticed Tim. He looked like he could drop dead at any moment. Did he even drink water? Eating?

Those beautiful glassy vacant eyes made Danny blush. He couldn't take his eyes off him.

When class ended Tim sat up Danny heard his back crack from his still position. Thoughts of rigor mortis filled his head and the sound of popping bones was almost a turn-on. Danny didn't even know what that said about him.

Danny had to consider what to do next to tame his feelings. He could stop his attraction by helping his classmate improve his health. Or he could satisfy his urges by courting him.

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justdontasks-stuff · 1 month ago

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Jason/Danny soulmates AU where neither is born with a soulmark, but gain one when they die and come back >:3

Danny after his accident: Oh shit, does this mean my soulmate is a ghost??

Jason after he gets his brain back: What the fuck? What the actual fuck?! What kind of demented bullshit fate is this?! I had to get brutally murdered to get a soulmate????

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justdontasks-stuff · 2 months ago

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Famous streamer Danny and his secret boyfriend:

Okay, but picture this: Danny Fenton is this massive streamer—like, he’s the guy everyone watches for chill vibes, chaotic gaming, and somehow getting sidetracked talking about conspiracy theories in the middle of a speedrun. His streams are a mess of ghost jokes, random facts about space, and way too much energy for someone running on three hours of sleep and coffee.

And then there’s his boyfriend—who the fans only know exists because Danny’s way too in love to not talk about him. Like, every stream, without fail, Danny’s casually dropping hints. “Oh yeah, my boyfriend brought me coffee, isn’t he the best?” or “I was playing this game with him last night, and he kept getting us killed, but he’s cute so I let it slide.”

The thing is, no one has ever seen this boyfriend. Not once. No name, no face, nothing. And at this point, it’s basically part of Danny’s brand. His fans are in the chat, spamming questions like, “Who is he?” “Is he another streamer?” “What’s his name?” and Danny’s just laughing it off every time, like, “Eh, maybe I’ll introduce you guys one day.”

The fan theories are wild. People have made entire reddit threads trying to piece together clues about who this mystery guy is. Some think Danny’s boyfriend is a celebrity. Others are convinced it’s someone famous in the gaming world, but no one has any proof. It’s like the internet’s biggest mystery, and Danny’s just sitting there, fully aware of it, leaning into the chaos without giving away a single detail.

Meanwhile, Tim Drake—yes, that Tim Drake, Gotham’s resident CEO of WE and vigilante—is just chilling in the background. He’s the boyfriend, obviously. The one who makes sure Danny actually eats between streams and sometimes joins him off-camera to play co-op games. But Tim’s got no intention of revealing himself. He likes the anonymity, the whole “mysterious boyfriend” thing. Plus, with his whole double life as a vigilante, staying out of the public eye (more than he already is) isn’t exactly a bad idea.

But the best part—Danny’s fans? They’re convinced his boyfriend is some kind of superhero or vigilante. The way Danny talks about him—like he’s always busy, never around during certain hours (because, you know, Tim’s out patrolling Gotham), and the fact that he’s never once shown up on camera? It’s practically begging for wild speculation. And Danny? He’s just letting them run with it, saying stuff like, “Oh yeah, he’s totally saving the world right now, can’t make it to stream today.”

So now Danny’s got this massive online following, all obsessed with his mystery boyfriend, while Tim’s just quietly in the background, living his double life and probably smirking every time Danny plays along with the fans’ theories. It’s lowkey hilarious, and neither of them is ever planning to set the record straight. They’re just having way too much fun with it.

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justdontasks-stuff · 3 months ago

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Babying Batboy

First |Previous|Next

"He's all yours Kori!" Dick said holding up the Batboy burrito.

Danny chirped in distress as Starfire picked him up and swung him around in her arms. "You are much smaller than I thought. So little and cute!"

"Let me see, I wanna see his wings!" Beastboy said rushing over to get a look.

"Nightwing, what's that bag for?" Raven asked Dick joining in.

"It's Batboy's diaper bag." As he said this Danny's eyes snapped in his direction with murder in them, daring Dick to even try putting a diaper on him.

"Æah!" Danny babbled angrily.

"Don't worry he is housebroken." He laughed. "I put his supplies inside. His blanket, his bottles, chew toys, and this set of superhero themed pacifiers. You should give him one now. He gets fussy."

Danny turned red with embarrassment. Toddler-sized or not he was not going to be treated like a baby, at least not in front of the Titans.

"Aww, these are so cute. I've never really understood the use of these things since they weren't needed on my plant but i heart human babies need these." Kori laughed picking out the purple and black Raven themed pacifier and pushing it right into Danny's face.

Danny turned his head to avoid it.

"Looks like the little man doesn't want that one." Cyborg laughed picking up the green and purple Beastboy pacifier instead.

Danny turned his head the other way only to have the red and green Robin pacifier lodged in him mouth.

"I was right, he wanted one that matches his dad." Raven said.

"It's still hard to believe you had a kid," Cyborg said to Nightwing.

"I know, I thought my figure would never recover." Nightwing joked.

The group settled in the living room. Danny was still trapped in Starfire's lap, angrily chewing holes in the pacifier. If Dick pulled out baby food Danny would bite him.

"You know he has deformed wings, right?" Gar tried to sound tactful as he pulled one of Danny's wings to full splay. "His wings are only connected to his back muscles and not his chest. They would need more muscle, bone and wing span to fly. Not to mention the base sits so weirdly at his spine. Poor kid."

Danny hiccuped and tears welled up in his eyes.

One of the drawbacks of shifting is that it requires a shift in your mental state. Cravings, behaviors, and emotions change to match. Currently, the bat and toddler parts are overwriting his sensible older brain.

Right now his feelings were hurt because he worked so hard to make his wing and trained so hard to fly.

"Wehh," Danny whined.

"Gar! You know he might understand you!" Kori scolded him as he hugged Danny close to her chest and patted his back.

"Let me get him." Dick said leaning over to take Danny from Starfire only to have Danny smack his hand because this was all his fault this happened.

Danny pouted leaning into Kori.

"Guys Hex High is one!" Cyborg said calling everyone to the TV.

The other Titans scrambled to get a good seat to watch their favorite show.

Danny immediately perked up to watch.

This episode was a rerun. Nicky the android was debating who to ask to the dance. Rosetta Ferns the bush nymph or Alaska North the Yeti. Nicky doesn't know that Alaska was already going with her ex-boyfriend Finley Reef to see if they can make up and get back together.

"Alaska is too good for either of them and Rosetta deserves better than to be a second choice." Gar sneered.

"Finley was always taking advantage of Alaska's sheltered past to get her to do what he wanted. Remember when he told her that no one would eat the Gundruk she made for the potluck because he thought it was gross." Starfire chipped in.

Danny nodded along he fully agreed. Alaska was his favorite.

Dick hadn't actually watched the show but now he was stuck in the middle of the marathon and he finally understood why everyone loved this show.

Raven was actually the biggest fan and loved Whitney Wisteria the Witch.

Danny had successfully chewed through the pacifier only to get a bottle of juice instead because Kori thought he was hungry.

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justdontasks-stuff · 3 months ago

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Tim: You're the Ghost King?

Danny: Yeah

Tim: But you can't afford one cup of coffee?

Danny: Nah, too expensive.

Tim: I thought you said you had the biggest vault in all of the afterlife

Danny pulling out glowing rocks: This is the ghost zone currency. There is no bank that is willing to exchange it.

Tim: .....Is that why I met you sleeping under a bridge?

Danny: No, Tim, I just like to spend my afternoons waiting for passing humans to challenge to riddles so they can use the bridge. I keep a mattress there for nap time if it's a slow human day.

Tim: I can't tell if that was sarcasm

Danny: It's wasn't. I honestly enjoy challenging people to riddles. But people burst into tears whenever I pop up

Tim: Maybe don't shout riddles at people in a city like Gotham. The Riddler kinda traumatized them.

Danny: What else am I supposed to do? I'm already starving, I'm homeless, I have no education, and I'm a burden to society.

Tim: How about I take you home with me? My parents are never at the manor since thier always traveling. We could make a Batman and Robin fanclub!

Danny: Can't. Royal Rules says I can't live with non-blood relatives unless we engage. I may be the Ghost King in just name but it's a tricky situation.

Tim: Drat. I'm too young to get engaged...say you could marry Robin! I happen to know he has plenty of space at his dad's house, and I could be your matchmaker so you could hang out with me until the engagement details are finalized!

Danny: hmmmmm, Robin is the same age as me, and I am tired of people trying to pepper spray me....okay, you got a deal!

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justdontasks-stuff · 3 months ago

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Wrangling Batboy

First | Previous | Next

Dick already knew Danny was taking his nap. Just like he expected he found Danny hanging from the trapeze.

Dick looked up at his son as the boy wrapped his wings snuggly around himself chirping in his sleep. Dick would be worried about how he'd get down but Danny had finally mastered gliding. They still weren't sure he'd ever fly at this rate.

Dick pulled out one of Danny's favorite fruits. A pomegranate. Dick didn't know why but Danny goes crazy for these things.

Dick cracked it open and waited. Even in his sleep, Danny could smell the fruit and his eyes immediately opened. The bat let go of his perch and free-fell until he spread his wings and dived for the treat.

Danny ate the pomegranate in an almost gore manner. The bright red juice almost looked like blood and it stained the boy's fingers pink.

"Guess where we're going today?" Dick said eating the other half of the pomegranate.

"Nowhere hopefully. The Hex High marathon is on later." Danny said suspicions of Dick's next words.

Hex High is a show Danny had gotten obsessed over recently. Its a about a group of monster girls at a school for monsters. It's a high school drama with lots of love triangles, broken promises, and scheming but every week the girls make up and are friends again. Expect for season finales where there is as a huge shift in the dynamics.

Danny refuses to miss an episode. Especially since Stephanie and Cassie watch it too. Damian pretends not to watch it with them.

"Actually, we are going to Titan's tower. You're going to meet the Teen Titans. Exciting right? You'll meet other metas finally." Dick hoped Danny would be more excited about meeting the Titans than seeing the season finale of his show.

"But its the season finale today." Danny whined.

Yep, that was exactly what Dick expected.

It was not any easier to get Danny to go. He chose to protest by shrinking like he always does and turning as furry as possible and becoming more bat like. Wings, claws, tail, elongated ears, and fuzzy white collar of fur.

"Calm down baby Nosferatu. You know you can't get in the car this small. I don't have a car seat." Dick sighed tilding Danny.

"Oh, no. Guess we can't go." Danny smirked.

Dick instead pulled out his phone and ordered a car seat.

"Remember we're rich Danny. And still part of the Wayne family." Dick laughed smugly and within 10 minutes the car seat arrived and Dick set it up.

The drive to the tower and the quick change of clothes went smoothly. As smoothly as it can be with a raging toddler.

Dick rolled Danny into a blanket and took the elevator up to the living space.

"Remember Danny, you brought this on yourself." He said ominously.

Danny huffed his ears flicking as they scanned for sound.

As the doors opened Dick held the boy up.

"I brought the baby!"

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justdontasks-stuff · 3 months ago

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Family Dinners - dpxdc

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.

The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.

"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.

"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.

"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."

Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.

Ancients, that's so weird!

The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.

Wait. Family dinners?

He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.

"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.

From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.

"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"

"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"

"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."

"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."

The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.

Come on, Danny, recover!

"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."

"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?

"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."

"Costume? What do you mean?"

Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.

"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!

"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.

"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.

His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.

Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"

"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"

"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."

"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.

It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.

It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.

Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.

"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."

Once again, the whole table falls into silence.

"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"

"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"

"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."

Danny's grin freezes in place.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."

"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"

Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.

"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.

"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."

An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.

"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."

"What did happen?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."

"How long in the future was it?"

"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.

Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"

"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."

"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."

"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"

"What?"

"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."

Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.

"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.

"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."

"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"

"Damian, stop—"

"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."

"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."

"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.

"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."

"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."

"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."

"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."

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justdontasks-stuff · 3 months ago

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GUYS I AM HERE TO BLESS YOU WITH MY VERSION OF ALFRED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES WHICH HAVE BEEN PERFECTED AFTER MONTHS OF WORK

chile anyways

so ur gonna start off with 1/2 a cup of sugar, 3/4 a cup of brown sugar and two pinches of salt.

throw it together in a large bowl and mix it out using ur hands to get all the clumps out

i swear never use a utensil to mix anything while baking always do it with ur hands it tastes better trust me.

next ur gonna melt around a 100 grams of butter so just under half a cup

now what u wanna do is pour the butter into the sugar while its still hot then get up in there with some elbow grease and mix into the sugar until it has a sludge like texture and there are no clumps,

remember the butter must still be hot while u mix it up, not like boiling or anything but still hot <3

1 egg, throw it in there again mix it up, (for the love of god have some fun in life and keep mixing with ur hands its so much fun and it actually tastes so much better some how call it putting some love into ur baking, or even take ur anger out on the batter, its rlly therapeutic.)

next a cap of vanilla or a dash or whatever however much feels right

2 pinches of baking powder

and then 1 and 1/4 cup of flour, all together

then again in with your hands mix it up and put some elbow grease in there

now the chocolate chips, yum.

theres no fucking measurement for it, you measure that shit with your heart, just keep pouring till it feels right and looks right, and dont be afraid to snag a few chocolate chips here and there while you pour <33

oke so now ur gonna throw a lid on the bowl or wrap it with ceran wrap and throw it in the fridge for minimum an hour, the longer you leave it the better it tastes but max like 3 and 1/2 hours, i typically leave mine in for 1 and a 1/2 to 2 hours.

then your gonna take it out, let it soften for 5 minutes while your preheat your oven at 180C or 350F

then your gonna put parchment paper on the tray u’ll be baking on

then get ur cookie dough and start rolling it into whatever size balls feel right and place them on the tray.

then pop those babies in the oven for 15 minutes and let em bake, but dont forget to check in after 10 minutes.

take em outta the oven once its done, let it rest for like two minutes then pop them on the tray and leave em alone for like 5 or so minutes more

and voila ready to eat <33

they’ll have that crunch to them and still be soft on the inside without being raw so like best of both worlds

Also dont be afraid to make a mess while you bake, its half the fun and you can always clean up later <33

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justdontasks-stuff · 4 months ago

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Damian's birthday (one-shot)

★°•.: So, I decided to write something for Damian. Since his birthday is today (August 9th). This will have to be split up into multiple parts due to it overextending the limit. I also have not proofread this since it's 5am. So I apologize for any spelling errors.

It was late at night, and Damian had tried to fall asleep a couple of hours ago. Usually they would have been out on patrol, stopping criminals in his path, and serve justice just how his father had started teaching him when it had arrived. Tonight had been different. He'd come down with a fever, and Pennyworth had made sure that Damian stayed home tonight. He's snuck out multiple times before, but instead of fighting it, Damian accepted that he had to stay home anyways. Especially with his birthday in the morning. He laid in bed, refreshing the feed every other minute meanwhile his other family members left the house for patrol, making Damian alone with no one besides his animals. It had been the worst decision he had ever made. Ever since Damian arrived in gotham, he had always hated himself. He hated being alone despite always suggesting it should go off on its own during missions. There was no evil hate filled intent behind it. Damian had the idea that if they'd go off on their own, fight and take down as many criminals as it could, then he'd be worthy of the grace his Father and siblings granted him. It never worked. No matter what it did, he never felt fully accepted. There was always blood on his hands, and there was no way they'd be able to rid of it. How could someone such as him be so cruel, and gain back that honor he had lost? The answer was always that he couldn't.

Green restless eyes stared up at the ceiling. His phone laid on his chest as it buzzed every now and then, alerting him on messages he had been receiving. It wasn't enough to make him check just yet. There had been many other thoughts that were plaguing the young boy's mind. How old was he? supposedly turning fifteen, other though it never even felt like he had turned fourteen due to missing his thirteenth birthday. How could he be so old when a year of his vanished because he hadn't been good enough to stay alive? His Father revived him. He remembered every single detail about that day. He remembered crying in his father's arms as he was being told, "it's okay, I have you.", and just for a second, Damian had hope that be would've been able to redeem himself. He had another chance. Another chance to show that he wouldn't have to end up hell when he died. That this specific revival could wash away the blood that formed on his hands in it's mind.

He had been a fool to think that.

Why would he get a second chance when the people he murdered wouldn't be able to? Why would the blood wash from his hands when he had been revived multiple times only for it to stick. Why would this ever be different? How did he ever deserve any of the people that offered him comfort? How did he ever deserve the warm and gentle embrace that everyone he had ever loved gave him? It's because they didn't deserve it. Their Father could express otherwise. Even their Mother could, but he'd never listen.

A few more buzzes stole Damian from his thoughts. Curiosity finally got to him as it had sat up. Damian was surprised to see that it was not Jonathan who had been blowing his phone up. The tanned boy scanned over the messages from his father and mother. They'd been arguing. Online. Where anyone, including Damian, could see. What fools they must have been to be stupid enough to discuss such preposterous things in the general eye of media public? It watched the conversation continue for a while, until his father had made a certain comment expressing that Damian would never let him die at the age of 32. Which was bullshit. He had died multiple times before, yet nobody had a problem with that? All these scars it had all over his body were that exact reminder him dying. Alexander the Great was 32 when he had died, yet had been an amazing leader and practically ruled the world. How dare anyone tell him how it's story was going to go. It should've been his decision on how long he was going to live. Not anybody else's. Damian wasn't sure why this angered him. All his life he had taken abuse, that he believed to deserve, and had it's life controlled. His father promised it that it wouldn't happen anymore. This suggestion didn't sound anything like that promise. It set Damian off, though his ability to show emotion through text was unbearably bad. It went back and forth for a few messages, and then it stopped. No reply. No nothing. It had been a fool to trust his father's word of freedom. Then Jonathan messaged him.

It was weird. Damian hadn't felt this kind of emotion before. Jon swore the emotion it had been feeling was the emotion of love. What a bunch of idiotic logic. Damian couldn't feel love, moreso feel it for someone else. It was the first thing it been taught. Love was a sign of weakness that he hadn't need in his life. So how would it not be an act of weakness when he was with Jonathan. His sun. The person he swore was his bestfriend.

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justdontasks-stuff · 5 months ago

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My favorite thing about the bats is that… they are gothamites. And sure they scare the shit out of people… but they are in Gotham. Superman is loved by his people, Flash is adored, people pray to Wonder Woman, Green Arrow is feared. But the Bats? The Bats are like all of Gotham's weird older brothers/sisters/parents. Superman and Green Lantern are visiting Batman in Gotham and all of a sudden he gets smacked in the face by a banana and they turn and find a group of teens skateboarding away and one kid calls over his shoulder ‘eat the fucking potassium you absolute brick.’ and Batman doesn't even do anything. Barry is chilling with Nightwing when a girl runs beneath the building they are sitting on and screams “Nice ass Night! But get it the fuck down here, my cats stuck in a tree.” And Nightwing does a flip off the building and just?? helps her?? Wonder Woman and Black Canary are passing through Crime Alley on their way to the Batcave and spot Red Hood standing in an alley, being lectured by a woman who is half his size and she ends the lecture by throwing two sandwiches at his face and walking away. Red Hood just takes his hood off and starts eating. Superboy is helping Red Robin defeat Scarecrow and while they’re hiding, waiting for him to walk into their trap, RR is casually conversing with a Gothamite about Hogwarts Houses, and when he says the Gothamite looks like a Gryfindor he pops his head out and screams “Yo scarecrow hes right fucking here!” J’onn is heading to the Manor to discuss League business with Bruce when he spots Robin(Damian) fighting Riddler all alone and is about to intervene when three teenagers show up and just fucking deck him instead. Damian doesn't thank them, just glowers, and one of the guys goes “you're welcome you fucking brat.” And the girl even smacks the back of his head and goes “manners.” Clark is sent to go find Tim and Steph and Damian and finds them at this girls birthday party, in full costume, eating cupcakes and drinking punch, jumping on the bouncy house and is like “errr, B-Batman needs you home.” And as one the entire birthday party group went “Fuck Batman.” Spoiler was spotted painting these guys nails, Black Bat was seen teaching calculus to a group of teenagers, Batgirl(Babs) was running after a group of kids screaming “Give me back my laptop you fucks!” Just- just the batfamily and Gothamites being annoying to each other and appreciative yet bitches.

Bus driver: stop getting thrown at my fucking bus, i got places to be and my insurance only covers so many shatter windshields and person sized dents Batman: I don't really control where I get thrown Bus Driver: well you better fucking start otherwise theres gonna be another fucking villain on these streets *drives away and almost runs him over* Superman: *gaping* yo-you're just gonna let him do that? Batman: *shrugs* Gotham insurance aint what its cracked up to be Superman: *staring dumbly*

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justdontasks-stuff · 5 months ago

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Feral McGee™

It starts with the Joker.

His goons picked up Tim Drake. Not specifically because it was Tim Drake, he just so happened to be in the Joker’s neighborhood, and we'll, he can't pass up that opportunity now can he?

Except Tim Drake is watching, along with the rest of Gotham, at the Batcomputer. He’s nursing a broken foot and has been put on monitor duty until he's cleared for field work again.

The guy looks enough like him, though. Black hair, blue eyes, and bags under his eyes for days. He's also got the same lean sort of build like he does.

It happens like this.

The Joker is doing his monologue thing where he explains whatever twisted game he's come up with this time. He takes up the majority of the screen, so nobody can see Not-Tim behind him, not until the big reveal. Then he covers the screen again, getting up close and personal, before stepping back. In those quick few seconds, Not-Tim is no longer sitting there tied to the chair.

Someone off camera lets the Joker know, and he whirls around, confused as the rest of Gotham.

And then Not-Tim comes in with the steel chair.

Or, well, a crowbar, but the reference holds up.

He takes out one of Joker’s knees before punching him in the face. The Joker drops like a bag of stones, out cold.

Then he looks towards the camera.

“Hey there. I'm not really sure where I am, but also if he was after Tim Drake, he got the wrong guy. I'm not him, I'm just some dude. Anyway, I'll just-yep-” he carefully steps over the unconscious Joker, gives the camera a little wave, and then leaves.

Batman and Nightwing enter shortly after, with the Joker and his goons out cold and tied up. The knots were complicated enough where, in the end, the police resorted to cutting the ties off of them so they could be properly cuffed and taken to Arkham.

“A constrictor knot,” Batman tells Nightwing as they watch the villain be taken away. “Often used by sailors to temporarily tie things together to keep something in a bag, or to hold something to glue it back together.”

“Huh,” Nightwing says, scratching the back of his head. “Go figure.”

—

The next time it happens, it’s the Riddler.

He’s laughing, giving his riddles to the Bats and recording himself to all of Gotham while his victim, one of the Wayne brats, hangs over a vat of something. From a distance, he looks like Tim Drake, or maybe a lankier Dick Grayson. And he’s not the only victim, they’re all scattered across the city, but he thought an important figure such as a Wayne should be under the Riddler’s direct supervision while he enacts his schemes.

While the Riddler cackles and plots and waves his cane around, in the background all of Gotham can see the figure escape. Several Gothamites recognize him as the kid from before, who clocked the Joker. They all watch with bated breath as he sort of wiggles his way out of the ropes holding him up. Once he’s free, he climbs the rope and gets himself down safely.

Gotham holds their breath as the kid casually walks up to the Riddler, who’s mid-rant. He politely taps him on the shoulder, and as the Riddler is turning around, the kid clocks him just as brutally as he had the Joker. He’s down with one punch.

They think he’s going to say another sort of awkward goodbye, but instead he pats the Riddler down until he finds a piece of paper tucked into the inside pocket of his jacket.

“Right,” the kid says, looking at the list. There’s a lot more static overlay now, and several wonder if it’s damage to the cameras. “Uh, the Clocktower, the Docks, and-” he squints at the page for a moment-”Mama Nacaroni’s? What the fuck is that? Anyway, uh. See you later, I guess. Oh! And we’re at the Gotham Arena. Have fun with him, I guess.”

The kid tosses the paper off to the side before the camera cuts to black.

Just like last time, everyone is out cold and tied up. The Riddler himself is sporting a pretty bad shiner, but well deserved nonetheless.

“Stop it,” Red Hood tells him. Batman just looks at him, and though Hood can’t see the top half of his face, he can tell that his eyebrow is raised. “You know exactly what I mean, B. Put the adoption papers away.”

“Hn.”

—

After that, it sorta becomes a game. The rogues of Gotham are no longer after a Wayne, or after anybody who holds any kind of social status like usual. They’re all going after this one kid, all determined to be the one to hold him. And each one is televised.

Mr. Freeze freezes him in a block of ice, but due to the cameras glitching out, nobody can really see how he got free. They do, however, see the kid suplex Mr. Freeze. It should seem impossible, given his lanky figure, but he evidently has more muscle than he’s originally let on.

Two-Face gets a hold of him, using chains and some power-dampening cuffs just on the off-chance that he’s a meta. They all watch as the kid leans down, pulls a bobby pin out of his hair, and picks the locks on his cuffs. One punch, and Two-Face is down.

Gothamites are going wild for the kid. They’ve dubbed him Feral McGee™ (an online poll, of course), because every time he goes in for the punch he gets this feral look in his eyes. Also, just the fact that he casually goes up to these rogues and takes them out with all the casualness of doing something incredibly mundane? Incredible. The Gothamites are eating it up. However, despite the video evidence, nobody has been able to properly identify the kid. They know he has black hair and bright eyes, but any time he gets near a camera, it’s like there’s this weird, sort of warped quality the camera takes on. It doesn’t usually calm down until the fight is done-as one sided as they usually are-before he awkwardly skedaddles away.

He gets kidnapped by the Penguin, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy (though that was more just a friendly chat than anything), Mad Hatter, and the Riddler again.

And then the Joker escapes.

It’s no surprise as to who he’s going to go after.

Due to one too many careless goons, they manage to find their way to the Joker’s hideout pretty quickly. This time, it’s all Bats on deck, and they all hide away in the rafters as Feral McGee™ is hung over a vat of acid. His whole body is tied up, hardly a single inch of exposed skin to be seen except for the neck up.

They watch the goons, they watch the Joker, and they watch Feral McGee™.

The Joker is monologuing, practically begging the bats to come find him before the timer runs out. When it does, the kid gets dumped into the vat of acid.

Despite these stakes, the kid seems to be only mildly annoyed.

“Fuck this, I have homework I still need to finish,” they hear him say.

They all watch, amazed and confused, as the kid starts gnawing through the ropes. Human teeth shouldn’t be able to do that so easily, but one bit after the other, and soon enough the kid’s got himself freed enough to just climb up the rest of the rope. When he’s at the top of the crane holding him up, Batman lets down a rope and pulls the kid up and out of danger.

“Oh, cool, you’re all here,” the kid says casually, as if meeting the entire Bat Clan is just a normal Tuesday. And then he pulls out a notepad and pen and hands it to Red Hood.

“Can I get an autograph? You’re dope as fuck, dude.”

Red Hood has to look away and hide his face in his arms for a few moments to not give away their location with his laughter before signing. And then, one by one, the others do as well. They pass along the kid’s notebook with shit-eating grins and barely contained snickers despite the fact that the Joker is still right below them. Even Batman signs it, after his children don’t stop hounding him about it.

In their distraction, they didn’t see the kid sneak away. He’s far away from them now, nearly right over the Joker. Danny waits, though, until the Joker has turned around as the timer almost runs out. They watch as he snickers at Joker’s flabbergasted look. The Joker comically looks back and forth and under objects the kid obviously isn’t under. However, before he can do or say anything else, the kid drops from the rafters and right on top of the Joker. He crumples to the ground, unconscious. The kid, however, just brushes the dust off of himself. Despite the fall he took, there isn’t a scratch on him.

When the bats join him, they give his notepad back to him, barely able to contain their laughter at the absurdity of it all. The kid, too, joins in the camaraderie, laughing and joking along with them as Batman secures the Joker.

“Okay, okay, but I gotta ask, dude,” Red Hood says at one point, looking at the kid. “How do you keep getting kidnapped?”

The kid just shrugs. “I get distracted easily. And I’m sleep deprived, so you know. Social awareness is kind of at an all time low right now.”

“Why are you sleep deprived?” Nightwing asks, barely hidden concern in his voice.

“Finals are kinda kicking my ass right now. Especially this dumb English homework I have. You guys wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”

“Oh, lucky for you,” Red Hood says, wrapping an arm around the kid’s shoulders as he walks them out of the warehouse, “I happen to know a lot about English. So, it is Shakespeare?”

“Yeah, Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

As they walk off, Batman calmly watches, though the rest of the bats can see his jaw twitching. Nightwing comes up behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“If you don’t adopt him, I will.”

“Hn.”

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