justasillybear

[justasillybear]

adulthood is like dog training but you are both the dog and the trainer and also it doesn’t work and is bad

[justasillybear]

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

[justasillybear]

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

[justasillybear]

[justasillybear]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[justasillybear]

the team is chasing the sickest murderers to ever live meanwhile these two on the phone sexually harassing each other

[justasillybear]

Reading Don't Let the Forest in and honestly all the forest monsters and violence is a reprieve from how stressful it is reading the MC's struggle with asexuality.

The real horror, being in love with someone and being ace

[justasillybear]

An excellent addition to the the “weird girl x undead creature” comedy legacy

[justasillybear]

Filmmakers: we need a super pale half dead looking sad white boy

Hollywood: say less fam

[justasillybear]

Final design.

[justasillybear]

the encounter

[justasillybear]

The Darknight Hero

[justasillybear]

i'm obsessed with nikki's completely disproportionate response to this situation lmao

giovanni: mansplain manipulate manslaughter

nikki "gentle parenting is always the solution" lastname: how about MANNERS

[justasillybear]

the “i wanna go home” never leaves my head even when i’m physically sitting in my bed

[justasillybear]

CRIMSON PEAK Guillermo del Toro, 2015

[justasillybear]

My friends are all roasting me for living a fanfic cliche when I just want to get swole on the cheap 😔

[justasillybear]

Painter 💫