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Cant be me starting to tear up over food I wanna eat but cant because my brain/body wont let me for no good reason

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Guess who was wrong bitch

She was!!!

Suck an egg bitch

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Man fuck them kids and them photoshopping IDs

Tried going somewhere and could find my ID, thought a photo that I took before I lost it could work. They wouldn't accept it cause of them kids and their photoshop

Cries

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then again no one gives two shits about my side because she could do nothing wrong why cant anyone see she left me broken and hollow why doesnt anyone care about my side

oh yeah cause im the bad guy of her side of the story

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ive become more suicidal ever since she left me I want someone to break into my home and break my neck I want them to snap me in two with out any remorse No matter how much I plead or beg then just continue to stab and shoot me Maybe set me on fire or drown me in my bathtub I would never be this fucked up now if she just told me why if she just stayed but no im just some piece of rottening broken flesh who she never thought as a friend since I was 15 Just an annoying shit stain that she had to drag along so she could pity me and gain glory points for carrying me around I want to slit my throat I want to od on benadril I want to slit my wrists I want to gouge out my eyes rip my teeth out Something to stop feeling this emotional pain

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I want her to leave my brain leave me alone for five minute but no she cant leave my thoughts Ive known her since second fucking grade treated her like family So what if Im not stable mentally your just going to leave me to rot like gargbe I hope your relationship fails I hope moving out fails Just get out of my head already please

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bruh I think its hilarious when my non ace friends baby me when it comes to sex stuff. Or like I talk about a game or something with adult content. Its just so funny to me. Like I know, thanks, imma continue to look into this game any ways. Like lemme do what I wanna do with out being all like “hey you know that game has sex in it???? like just letting you know!!!” shush I know silence.

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Like no joke took a nap had a dream where we were just vibing. Started off as us just napping in bed. Nothing more. And I slowly start waking up to some pirate film and I am all nice and warm and realize there is an arm round me and its his fucking arm and aaaaa cries. Then we just spend the rest of the dream chilling and hanging out Then I actually wake up and he is making hard cider qwq And all I can think is, “wow I wanna smooch your dumb face.” And like aaaaaaa I dont think he has feelings for me or ever will but still a person can hope right qwq

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uuughhhh I wanna smooch his dumb fucking face fuck romantic feelings  cries

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big sad I like two people and neither of them realize big saddd Even if I did date one of them Im a piece of shit partner

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uuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Rp dm probably thinks im lying about being on board with a side plot When my character, my CHARACTER, wouldnt like the main idea of the plot its giving me a fucking head ache

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where did I go wrong?  where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong?  where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong? where did I go wrong?

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I wish I never left I wish I had the guts to stay

I wish I knew what she said about me when I left Word that would probably make me kill myself quicker instead of wallowing in self pity

a friend said to me a couple of days ago “at least your not still hurting anymore” shut the fuck up I am, I still fucking am hurting

Its to a point I go to her blog almost daily I’ll like all her personal posts and art like some stalker freak

Im disgusting Im vile I dont know why anyone deals with me anymore The should leave me to rot

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Just went through this blog... Big mistake gah Guess she was right about that

I’ll never change why is she always right yet so wrong about me i wanna change I wanna make things right

Please...let me change for you

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im fucked up Why did I even think of that idea why did I start to do that idea

why do we miss people why do we care for those who treated us like garabge  Ugh I wish I could just forget her and fucking move on

I wish she would actually talk to me and say hey this is what happened but no she left me clueless and feeling like a shelfish idiot as usual I wish I could start over I wish I could be a better person

but no Im just a fucking low life idiot who people see as annoying and narsasictic  People, friends, still say they love me, say im a good person, say im smart she did too so how much longer will those just become lies so I dont almost kill myself

I hate feeling like this and I want to get better, why im seeing a therapist, why im taking meds I dont think she believes I am though I dont think a couple of people think I am

Is it because Im not making a fast recovery? Is it because I taking a too fast of a recovery?

does it matter Im a piece of shit person who deserves to burn ask her...she would agree...

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I wish I didnt have intrusive thoughts Just uuggghhhhhhhh

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no one really care they’ll just forget me  which is for the better drift away from their minds like a calming sea breeze