justanotherbeinghere

[justanotherbeinghere]

The silence between us, it’s deafening. I hate that you are hurting so much right now because of me. But Buda, just know that it will get easier with time. I don’t think anyone ever fully recovers from the trauma of a cheating partner, but i know for sure it hurts lesser as time passes. I lied to you, over and over again. Why did I cheat on you? I don’t know for sure, but i think it was because i didn’t have the courage to leave you and just wanted to sabotage this marriage by giving you chances of finding out about my infidelity so that you could pull the plug. Ut why did i want to leave you in the first place? I think it was because I really have regretted marrying you. You weren’t a bad husband, you weren’t the best either. But more than you, it was me, I was never cut out for marriage. I hated it with every fiber of my being. I had no right to cheat on you like this. But i did. And i am sorry. I don’t seek forgiveness, I just want you to get over this hurt soon.

December 14, 2024

[justanotherbeinghere]

I want to fuck you. Right now. Right here. Fuck you till I get sore. Fuck you till I can no more. And then fuck you some more.

[justanotherbeinghere]

I ask you "which do you like?", you never have a straight answer.

I ask you "who do you love?", you never have a straight answer.

I ask you "what do you wish for?", you never have a straight answer .

But I get it, I really do. I wouldn't know how to answer them either. Because we are the same, we don't think about these things. Sometimes I suspect I just ask you coz I want inspiration for myself🤣. But I get it when you give me the weirdest answers. I get how you genuinely might not have the answers because you don't think about it for long to actually come up with something. It might hurt, no? It might hurt to have an answer and know that you won't like the answer. Because you don't always get to experience the things you like, get love from the one you love, and do those things you wish for. And you also know that that's life, and isssok. You'll find happinesses wherever you are ❤️ and I'll find you🥰

[justanotherbeinghere]

What if baby, what if we didn't have to prepare ourselves for this storm that's coming in? How relieved would you feel? How light would you feel?

What if hai?

But issok. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. We will just pray that we have the strength to overcome what may come. Is it in our hands to make the outcome favorable? No. So why worry? We'll get through this my love, we will, I have faith in you ❤️

[justanotherbeinghere]

I want to be there for you baby, but I don't even know how to. I don't know how to be your support when I don't even know how to take care of you, because you never showed me. Never have you let me in. Your walls, your fucking walls... You are strong I know, but why don't you understand that it's okay to sometimes be vulnerable and process your grief and just deal with the situation in a healthy way. You don't have to keep everything bottled up and show the world as if it doesn't affect you. I want to be your solace baby, if you could just let me...

Issok my love, issok. Everything's gonna be alright ❤️

November 21, 2024

[justanotherbeinghere]

I just want to be able to text you when I want, is that too much to ask? Well, text you, fuck you, same thing. But yea, not too much to ask myan 🤷🏾‍♀️

[justanotherbeinghere]

"Everything will be allright as it is supposed to be"

-Rex

All the love and prayers and wishes for you my love, stay strong ❣️

November 2, 2024

[justanotherbeinghere]

How do I make you want me more?

[justanotherbeinghere]

I wait for you to come online. I keep waiting, with my phone in my hand, just staring at your name, for your first move, to let me know you're sf.

[justanotherbeinghere]

One day hunny I'll be like you, just like you, and not give a fuck about you. 🫤

[justanotherbeinghere]

I don't want to fuck if it's not you I'm fucking

[justanotherbeinghere]

The way you fuck me makes me forget everything.

[justanotherbeinghere]

I'll never get to see it, will I?

I'll never get to see a burning passion, an undeniable love, a tender submission, nothing, nothing in your eyes, nothing that will ever let me know that I have a spot in your heart, in your soul, nothing to tell me that I am something to you, someone, someone that matters. How have you built your walls so high baby? Why? A fortress, that's all there is for me, I'm just a beggar outside the walls of your fortress kingdom. I guess it's fitting that Rex has a kingdom, just blame the beggar for being so naive to wish for the treasures within. Just blame the beggar.

All I ever see is a shallow emptiness. Shakespeare once said, “The eyes are the window to your soul". So what is it? Are you really as hollow as I see you? Or are your walls just that good? Is the kingdom within the fortress as poor and empty as the wall I see? Or are the riches so goddamn well hidden?

You just break me every damn time I look into your eyes but fuck me and fuck the whole fucking universe for I. Just. Can't. Stop. Loving. You.

With every broken piece of me I tell myself I'm done. I pick every piece of this broken shell of me and I tell myself I will get over you.

Funny how every time I end up choosing to be that naive beggar.

September 25, 2024

[justanotherbeinghere]

"suiso."

"Jesus"

"111. Pls."

"ok"

"eta?"

"1127"

"waiting"

"here"

"coming"

"jaam"

~~~~~~~

"111 pls hai?"

I will just launch myself on to you and slobber myself all over you. And you will pull me by my hair. Because when would you ever let me do as I please right? Well, while you're at it, pull me back harder, will you! Like you mean to me hurt me, just the right amount. The way you do. Making me whimper. Push me to the armchair. No no. Not with your arms. With your body, your whole damn body pressed against mine, guiding me to the armchair. My knees are wobbly (they have been since I saw you tbh), take me where you wanna go. Ooooh it's a rocking armchair eh? Will you let me touch you? Of course not. You will pin my hand down, on the arm rest? on my thighs? on my boobs? against my own boobs you dare me incapacitate me? You love it don't you? Making me feel powerless, making me beg for you, making me crave you even more, making me dwell on the torture just a lil longer? Because of how you know how to make me shiver. Oh hunny, how have I missed you, how I miss you, with every lingering breath, with every sunset, and with every waning moon . You pin me down and you make me wet. You pin me down and I crumble. You pin me down and I lay my life down for you, I'd give it all. You will unwrap me oh so tenderly. Slowly. Can I rip my clothes? No I can't. Why? Coz you like to torture me. You can see the desperation in my eyes so you play it slower. You are hard. I can see the bulge. You want me. You want to eat me. You want to kiss me. You want to fuck my pussy like you have craved all these weeks. But will you? Eventually, yes. But right now? No. No, right now you will play with your prey. Lick it, let it loose for a second and pin down again. So you can do as you please. For as long as you please. You run your tongue all over my tummy, then my handles that you oh so love, then my waist curve. Ohhh and you go there, that sweet spot on the sides of my ribcage - fuck you. Fuck you for showing me you could get me off just by sucking me in places I'd have never imagined would get me fucked up. That sweet spot, then there were the toes, then the fingers, then the nipple bites, then the fucking spot on my hip joint. Who the fuck cums when you massage the hip joint? I know, me! You made me cum just by rubbing my hips. You. Are. Crazy. Maybe that's why I love you. You have made me go crazy over you. In a way you have broken me. But it's the kind of breaking I don't want to mend from. I guess I had to be broken by you to remember who I really always was inside the shell. The shell that I had built over the years. You found me. So guess what we do now? We fuck. That's what we do. And we fuck good.

111. Desperation. It's my turn now baby. I won't spare you. I have my red lingerie ready for you. Red thongs. Red pushup bra. Red gown. Open hair. Gazalu eyes. Rose scented body mist. Let me perform for you. A little strip tease. A twist here, a slide there, a hair flip to the left, tip of my tongue over my upper lip, bitting my lips, lust in my gaze, so you know I want it, and I want it bad. Sliding my straps down my side, slow. Just sliding it past my shoulders, no more. It's a tease btw. You ain't seeing me just yet. Swinging my hips from side to side, pulling the nasty red gown up and down. Up till the thongs, down again to hover over the thighs. Up and down. The lace caressing me like the way your fingers want to. No touching, not yet. Look into my eyes, look at the fire you created, look at the burning flames, look at the passion you ignited. Look into those flames and stare into my soul like you would engulf yourself in those flames if you could. If you could, you would burn together. Look at me and make me feel beautiful. Look at me and tell me how desperate you are for me too. How you have missed me all these days we have been apart. How you have fantasized about fucking me while you were not. How you have imagined the things you would do to me the next time we met. Tell me. Tell me all this not with your words but with your eyes. Tell me that the fire that burns me burns you too and doesn't let you sleep those lonely nights, while you law awake wondering if I too saw the moon tonight. Tell me this all the while I inch towards you and slowly caress you. No no can't touch me still. Watch me, a little longer, watch me make myself wet, dancing for you. Keep your hands behind your head and kiss me. Kiss me on my lips. Suck on my tongue and make me moan. Bite me on my neck. Make me quiver. Touch me now. Grab me by my boobs and pull me towards you and squeeze them and don't let them go. Make me squirm in pain for just a fraction of a second and let it go. Choke me just the right way while you leave marks all over my collar bone. And then, with my tongue, on your dick, I lick you. Slimy. Slippery. I'll lick it all off. You watch me as I devour you. Grab my hair and make me dance the way you like. Slow and steady, the way you like. In circles. You push me in deep. Put your hand on the back of my neck and cum in me. Give it to me. Cum for me.

#frbdn

August 11, 2024

[justanotherbeinghere]

I keep going back to you. I don't know why. I can't stay away from you. I try. Oh believe me honey I try. But I just can't. Or maybe it's more like I don't want to. You. You feel like home.

I wish I meant something to you 🥲 just a little something, maybe like a chair in a home. Or a lamp. Just, something 🥹

I don't crave it but it's just like a wish on a falling star kinda deal, just something I want to happen like a miracle of some sorts. Just a funny thing in my head. Meh. 🤷

June 27, 2024

[justanotherbeinghere]

Some days I think about how my life would be if I was faithful. Would I be happier? Would my marriage be better? The simple answer is no.

I could clean up my act and be a loyal wife. But that wouldn't change the fact that he will still remain untrusting, uncaring, and polar opposite of who I am as a person. I see no fix to my life problems. It has been like this for quite some time now. I have no fix. That's the reason I just turned myself numb, to everything. I feel no happiness, or pain, or anger anymore. Not as intensely as I should. It's all momentary. It all ebbs away in a few moments because nothing matters to me anymore to care about it for more than a few moments. Practically I am dead inside. Is this a good way to live? Probably not. Definitely isn't the healthiest. But I will keep on doing so, till I find a fix...

June 1, 2024

[justanotherbeinghere]

3 years in, and somehow your hold over me is stronger still. I just can't get over you. Khai. K ho k ho. We are on this dangerous journey, very dangerous, one slip and both of us will be dragging so many lives with us down the cliff. Still we are risking it all. Why? I know why I am risking it. It's coz I love you. And love makes you crazy. But why are you? You don't love me. Is it the thrill of this adventure that is keeping you on this journey? Idk. Maybe even you don't know. Maybe it's the fault in our stars that made us this way. I know one thing though - it's my decision, the day I decide to end this journey, it will end. You won't question it, you definitely won't fight it, you will simply let go of me. Just like that. As if nothing ever happened. You can do that. Maybe there will come a day when I decide to end this journey. Maybe. Maybe not. Idk. We'll see.

May 23, 2024