just-random-guy

[just-random-guy]

[just-random-guy]

all i want is mutuals that reblog my posts and talk to me and call me by my first name

[just-random-guy]

[just-random-guy]

help I’m dying

[just-random-guy]

oh and I know I keep yelling about how Star Wars is a shot for shot remake of the Pacific War and the Battle of Britain, but really look at the B-29 cockpit:

[just-random-guy]

Digging through my WIP folder and I found notes for a story idea I had about a dragon adopting a human.

Not on accident, mind you, the dragon doesn’t just stumble across a human infant and adopts it. The dragon decides it wants to adopt a human.

The dragon explains this to its lich friend: “I want someone to take care of me in my old age! A human would be great! Imagine how easily it could talk the other humans into leaving me alone! And– and it might decide to grow up and become a goldsmith, right? Some humans become goldsmiths. My human might decide to go into goldsmithing too!”

“I think you’re overestimating the percentage of humans who become goldsmiths,” replies the lich friend, who is not terribly discouraging of the idea, but also not particularly invested in it at this point. It seems like a plan with a lot of potential points of failure.

The dragon is undeterred, mostly because it has a whole hoard of gold coins and goblets and jewelry and trinkets that seem to indicate to it that there must, in fact, be a great number of humans who know goldsmithing to have produced all that.

Anyway, the dragon decides to shapeshift into a humanoid form, go into a city, and adopt a human child. It needs the lich’s help, because it doesn’t know anything about human fashion. The lich’s knowledge on the subject is a few centuries outdated, but they attack a few fancy carriage on the road and reverse-engineer an outfit from what the humans inside them were wearing. (Those humans were nobles, it’s fine, it’s a victimless crime)

The lich fusses a lot with the humanoid appearance of the dragon until everything looks just so.

(“Am I actually doing it wrong, or are you just making me shapeshift into something you find more attractive?” the dragon asks.

“If you want me to pose as your husband, this is the price to pay,” the lich replies.)

They go into the city, anyway, and they find an orphanage on the shady side of town, where the tired, overworked and underpaid matron clearly sees there’s something not right about these two, but not in any obvious way she can put her finger on. She’s just happy to have one less mouth to feed.

Anyway, child get! 

She comes along quietly, and doesn’t even comment when she’s taken to a dragon lair.

The dragon is ecstatic with its new acquisition.

(“Does it know any commands?” the dragon wonders. “Sit! Stay! Roll over?”

“You may be thinking of dogs,” the lich points out. “Children do not perform tricks.”

They both looked at the human child, trying to figure out how to approach her.

“So, what scam are you running here?” the little girl asked suddenly, startling both the dragon and the lich.

“I was wrong,” the lich says, “they’ve definitely been teaching children new tricks since I was alive.”)

[just-random-guy]

🦇stevethevamp1re Follow

Okay but what if our ancestors lied to us, like come on, how bad can garlic be? I will conduct an experiment brb I'll keep you guys updated

🦇stevethevamp1re Follow

Hopital

[just-random-guy]

It’s always “why are you covered in blood?” and “whose blood is that?” and never “you look so beautiful right now” 😔

[just-random-guy]

this is what i sent

this is what i got

[just-random-guy]

as an optimist i dream of a beautiful world where people are fucking normal about aromanticism

[just-random-guy]

The idea that only women can give birth is a misconception. Men can give birth too and that's a mrconception

[just-random-guy]

They’ve been rebuilding the Tower of Babel, but this time they have a team of linguists on site. Every time God smites the builders and invents a dozen new languages, the linguists have a dozen decently sized translations in about a month and work can start up again.

The linguists have been really into it. They say the new phonemes are fascinating. As for God, I assume that at this point he’s just curious to see how far this goes.

[just-random-guy]

My latest New Scientist cartoon.

[just-random-guy]

Classes and subclasses are now expresses in the format of "[subclass]pilled [class]maxxer". For example "fiendpilled warlockmaxxer" or "landpilled druidmaxxer".

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[just-random-guy]

fujoshi electrician burns another house down after installing male/male connection

[just-random-guy]

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

[just-random-guy]

Reblog to meow at prev