just-alotof-thoughts

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not an endgame spoiler

in case anyone was wondering, my heart rate about two and a half hours into Avengers: Endgame was 140bpm. rip me

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ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

SERIOUSLY, DONT READ THIS IF YOU HAVENT SEEN ENDGAME!

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thoughts after my second time seeing the movie:

Let’s just start with the fact that i cried WAY more during this showing than the one i went to last night.

when Tony and Pepper are talking at the beginning, she tells him how “you’ll never rest.” that makes the end hurt even more, when she tells him “you can rest now.”

right before the Avengers leave on their first time travel adventure, Nat says to Steve, “see you in a minute.” Shes the only one who doesn’t come back.

we don’t see Tony say anything to Peter after he comes back from the dead, and he doesn’t say anything except to Pepper as he’s dying, so as far as we can tell, his last words to Peter were as Peter was dying, and Peter’s last words to him were as he was dying.

Steve wielding mjolnir! he’s worthy!! (this wasn’t something new i noticed the second time around, although the Friday crowd was way more excited than the Thursday crowd)

I was on tumblr basically all day after I saw it the first time, and I noticed some people hating on the way a lot of characters were portrayed (especially Thor) and while they were FAR from perfect and i would’ve loved to see them do more with the character, he wasn’t just reduced to a fat suit. he did cry, and he did get to say his goodbye to his mom in a legitimately emotional way, and he was goofy but you could see that he was hurting and that his jokes came from his pain.

at the end, when Steve says goodbye to Bucky, it’s pretty clear that he’s told him what’s about to happen, that he’s going to live his life. they don’t say goodbye for five seconds, or even a couple of hours for Steve to return each stone. they say goodbye for years. and i think that’s why Sam goes over to see old-Steve, while Bucky watches.

again, i agree that some of the character development was off. but for this ending of a saga, this end of an era, this endgame, i have almost nothing that I can really complain about

when Morgan first told Tony “I love you 3000” I really almost lost it

“when I drift off, I will think of you” came way truer than I wanted it to, not on the spaceship but as he slowly died on the battlefield

i had to physically restrain myself from crying early in the movie (I was sitting next to people who hadn’t seen it yet and I didn’t want to spoil it for them)

Far From Home is going to KILL ME and that’s just the start of the MCU post-Endgame

it still hasn’t hit me that Tony Stark and Steve Rogers aren’t coming back (and it’s not going to until these new Avengers team up without them)

i cried like a baby during the credits, when they gave us a final tribute to our OG6 Avengers.

i’ve been going to see these characters in theaters since 2012. 7 years. and some of them, some of my favorites, are gone forever.

to each and every person who has made the MCU what it is today, the MCU that i have fallen in love with time and time again,

I love you 3000.

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thanks for some great years. i really do love you 3000.

Thank you,

Robert Downey Jr,

Chris Evans,

Scarlet Johansson,

Mark Ruffalo,

Jeremy Renner,

Chris Hemsworth,

I love you 3000

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ENDGAME SPOILERS BELOW

I saw Avengers (the first one) in theaters when I was 10. My brother was 8. My favorite superhero was Nat, the badass lady assassin who kicked butt. My little brother’s was Clint, the snarky but super cool archer. They’re not necessarily our favorites now, but they’ve both got a special spot in my heart. So watching the two of them fighting, for the third time in a MCU movie, over who was going to die, that kind of killed me. I knew what was coming as soon as I saw Red Skull on Vormir. But I didn’t see it coming before that. So yeah, that shit hurt.

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Sokovia acc are bs. It is one of the stupid things of mcu. Mcu is not that deep. Mcu movies are stupid

Well I disagree with your premise that mcu movies are stupid but you’re entitled to your own opinion but I agree that the Sokovia Accords are stupid in sooo many ways but I was commenting on the way they used the inevitable presence of them in AMATW (because of civil war) and how they kinda showed heroes that weren’t always perfect

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Ant-Man and the Wasp

****spoilers****

Scott Lang was put under house arrest for not following the Sokovia Accords, which specifically said that superheroes couldn’t act unless a government thought it necessary.

But the argument against it is that these superheroes are doing it for the greater good. And in the MCU, that’s actually almost always true. The Avengers keep saving the world from a big bad evil that’s trying to take over. Even the first Ant-Man is like this. But not in Ant-Man and the Wasp.

Hope and Hank’s motives, and thus eventually Scott’s, are selfish. They’re not trying to bring Janet back because she’s an incredible scientist or because her healing powers are incredible now that she’s been in the quantum realm for so long. They don’t even know that she has healing, and they don’t even know if they’ll be able to get her out or who she’ll be if they do.

I’m not saying the villains were selflessly motivated either. Ava wanted it for herself, to stop her pain. And Sonny Burch wanted it to get filthy rich. They weren’t imminent threats to the safety of the world.

But look at the damage that ensues! The port, the boat, the streets, we don’t see it but I’m sure thousands of people were injured or affected in a city area like that, and probably tens of thousands of dollars in damage! That’s what the Accords were trying to prevent!

This isn’t a movie about a selfless superhero. It’s about scientists who want a beloved mother and wife back, and are willing to do literally anything, even letting Ava die, to do it. That doesn’t really sound heroic to me.

So yeah, I still think Ant-Man is a hero. But I’m not so sure about Hope and Hank.

Tl;dr - Ant-Man is exactly what the Sokovia Accords were trying to prevent

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IW SPOILERS AHEAD

Aunt May realizes that people outside are turning to dust and her first thought is Peter.

He’s alone on a school field trip and oh my god is he okay are his friends okay is he dead

She’s frantically calling the school, Ned, anyone , but no one’s picking up and the lines are all dead or busy

Peter has to be okay, she thinks, he’s strong

He doesn’t come home that night, even when the half-empty bus of high schoolers rolls back.

And then she gets the call from Mr. Stark. She never liked Peter having his internship.

And even though she already knew, from the sinking feeling in her stomach, she couldn’t bear to hear it and broke down in tears on the floor of the bedroom of the boy she so dearly loved.

She can’t bear to hear his last words, apologizing and pleading.

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IW SPOILERS AHEAD

JUST THEORIES FOR A4

What if in Avengers 4 Tony Steve and Thor (who have all lost everything after IW) go fight Thanos, not caring if they live or die, just willing to try anything to get their loved ones back or at least to be with them in the afterlife.

What if Tony and Steve don’t make it, but somehow their actions bring back the people who turned to dust. They never get to see Peter or Bucky again, never get to know they’re alive, never get to say another word to the people they love so dearly.

And Thor? He doesn’t make it either, but he knew it wouldn’t matter. He enters Valhalla with a smile on his face when he sees the all-too-familiar green robes and dark hair. Loki turns around and says “I told you the sun would shine on us again, brother.”

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have you ever listened to a song and prayed, pleaded with everything inside you that you never have to feel the heartbreak or pain that the person has been through

or have you ever listened to a song and wished, begged with all of your soul that you could feel the love and happiness that the person is singing with

because that’s what music is, isn’t it?

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just some feelings

that feeling where you keep reading about symptoms of mental illness and you relate so much that you're basically convinced you have at least one mental illness but you're too scared to actually get diagnosed that feeling when your friend with a diagnosed, serious mental illness is having an episode and you're there for them but you start to question if you actually have mental illness that feeling when everyone around you is telling you that you're a drama queen or you're offensive to people with mental illness or you're overreacting that feeling of not telling anyone anything because you're too scared of what you've been feeling for so long being completely invalid

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When I saw Green Day on the Revolution Radio Tour on March 17, a kid who can't have been older than 10 was brought up on stage to play the guitar with the band for a song, and at the end he got to keep the guitar. Some people in the pit started chanting at him to smash it and Billie immediately told him to never smash a guitar ever. I didn't think much of this until I was reading a post on the iHeart Radio festival incident, where Billie got mad over a time reduction and, while walking off, flipped off the crowd, said some angry things, and smashed his guitar. I remembered reading about how Billie was on drugs for a lot of that time, and how that incident is what pushed him to get clean. He doesn't want to be that angry, bitter, drugged-up man again, and he won't smash guitars so he can prove to the world, and to himself, that he's not that man, and I think that's kind of beautiful.

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When a song makes you cry the whole time, it might be a sign it saved your life. That it was one of the songs that you turned to in the middle of the night, at 2 AM when all you wanted was to stop thinking. That you see yourself, or someone you love, in the lyrics. Brendon Urie, thank you. Thank you for playing the song that you wrote about your best friend in the world, the song that saved my life.

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I'm still talking about Sherlock sorry (spoilers)

I’ve scrolled through pretty much the entire Sherlock tag and I can’t help but notice one thing that I think is missing. Don’t get me wrong I’ve got my fair share to say about the episode and the good and bad things that happened in it. But everyone seems so hopeful for a season 5, making theories about it and how they’ll build off of what they’ve done with Mary’s monologue in the end. I’m just wondering one thing.

They didn’t end it on a cliffhanger.

We finished the episode with Sherlock and John raising happy little baby Rosie in 221B with all of their friends. Mary is doing a monologue that, in my opinion, sounds very final, like she’s wrapping everything up and trying to give all of the characters a little bit of closure. We’ve never seen this at the end of a season before. Season 1 was the pool, and we all thought John would die. Season 2 was Reichenbach, and we all though Sherlock was dead. Season 3 was Moriarty, and we all thought Moriarty wasn’t dead, Season 4 was……. Mary? And we know who’s alive and dead? Something doesn’t add up.

And as much as I’d love to believe that there will be a secret fourth episode, because believe me, I’d love it, I just don’t think it will realistically happen. And with the way this season has been going, I can’t help but think: This could be it. We could have gotten our “happy ending” with Sherlock and John raising Rosie and Mary narrating it and one funny little scene with them running around. This could be it. There might not be a season five.

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Thoughts on 4x02

Warning: spoilers So John is in the promo for next weeks episode. If he's in the promo that means he's not dead, right? He's talking to Sherlock, getting blown up with Sherlock, getting held at gunpoint by Sherlock....... but how would he survive? We're assuming Euros fired the gun at John, and we all know the only way Sherlock survived the same situation is by being pushed out of the way by someone else. Johns alone, as far as we know. What if john does die and Sherlock relapses into drugs? Hallucinates every interaction with John in the next episode? Also, Sherrinford. Is. Not. A. Girl's. Name. Who's Sherrinford, then? A brother that Euros thinks is dead? That Sherlock thinks is dead? That everyone except Mycroft thinks is dead? Very possible, in my opinion.

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The longer, workshop version of Schuyler Defeated from Hamilton

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why are sad scenes so much easier to write than happy ones? why can I write a breakup or a death scene or a battle and its emotional but it's not super hard but if I try to write a happy reunion or just a sweet moment it's like impossible? why is sadness easier to convey than happiness?

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How the Way brothers react to watching each other die: -Mikey goes on an enraged killing spree and ends up following his brother -Gerard tries to help and can't and has to watch his brother slowly die