just-a-zesty-lil-rat

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me in every social interaction

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If you had an identical twin that you get along with, you could probably have a lot of fun by getting to know other sets of identical twins and then pulling pranks with them.

Like seeing two people who look exactly the same close proximity to each other? Yeah that's totally twins. But imagine being in an art gallery where there's a group of five people on the 1st floor, and you go up the stairs and ???? the exact same group of five people is also there?? And you didn't see them pass you at the stairs?

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pretty much the only good thing about the paper of record anymore, the crossword

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'can we normalize this'

'we need to normalize that'

can you all shut the fuck up for a minute and reconsider how constantly demanding normalization only retrenches the moral position that weird = bad?

like no you're not actually going to be able to normalize a lot of stuff, because it's statistically unusual or aberrant. you can't normalize shit that is not by any definition normal.

what you need to do is fucking stand up for the weirdos, freaks, and deviants, and remind everyone who is normal that their position just makes them normal. not good, not right, not correct, not better, not perfect, not beyond reproach or improvement.

being weird isn't bad. stop normalizing that, already.

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“prolific potato providers for prioritizing profit and persistently producing problematic potato product price practices” is such an impressive alliteration

this is the opening paragraph of a news article. stop scrolling here, if you would.

I want you to guess what this is about. take a second. breathe.

make a guess. make three guesses. make five guesses.

...

are you ready?

this is an article about...

potatoes.

more specifically

the united states potato cartel

apparently, mccain foods, cavendish farms, lamb weston, and j.r. simplot have been conspiring with each other to keep the prices of frozen potato-based products like frozen fries, frozen hash browns, and frozen tater tots high in the US for years.

these four companies collectively control 98% of the frozen potato product supply in the united states, so they can easily pressure the entire market. they are working together to squeeze as much money out of the frozen potato market as possible, sometimes even instructing employees to avoid making paper trails about their activities.

so now two proposed class action lawsuits have been filed against prolific potato providers for prioritizing profit and persistently producing problematic potato product price practices.

you can read the whole article here, and nightmares of capitalism aside, I do have a favorite part of this story.

there is a national potato council.

and it turns out the national potato council has a national potato expo.

here is a highlight video from potato expo 2019. it looks like it was a fun time!

[just-a-zesty-lil-rat]

This screenshot from a gardening Facebook group has been on my phone for several years and I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to delete it. Apparently it comes from a British gardening book from the 80s. I know we all joke that the English are afraid of flavor, but I assure you, you are not prepared for this.

GARLIC

Until quite recently, scientists smiled at all the wonderful medicinal powers claimed for garlic, but recent research has shown that there is some truth in a few of the old wives' tales. Garlic, of course, has an important role in Continental but not in British cookery — it really isn't worth growing unless you are a fan.

Any well-drained spot will do. Buy a head of garlic from the greengrocer or supermarket and split it up into individual cloves. Plant them 2 in. deep and 6 in. apart in March. Apart from watering in dry weather there is nothing else to do until the foliage turns yellow in July or August. Lift the bulbs and allow to dry under cover, then store in a cool, frost-free place.

If you are a beginner with garlic, you must use it very sparingly or you will be put off for ever. Rub a wooden salad bowl with a clove before adding the ingredients. Rub the skin of poultry before roasting and then you can try dropping a whole unskinned clove into a casserole or stew, removing it before serving. If by then you have lost a little of your garlic fear, you can try using crushed (not chopped) garlic in meat etc. as the Continentals do.

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i saw the “vukovich reblogged” and went “yeah that checks out

more people need to give themselves permission to write and draw pornography

[just-a-zesty-lil-rat]

growing up as an imaginative single child, I loved to play with Barbies. I loved creating elaborate drama-filled storylines for them and I could keep at it for hours. there was one problem. I had like 15 thrift store Barbies and no Kens. I only had one Barbie-sized male doll and it was a collectible Elvis Presley doll and he was my favorite doll. I always did the Elvis voice when I was playing him but he had no relation to Elvis Presley otherwise. anyway, he had some crazy days. trapped on a scary planet where he is the only man in the world and half of the women there hate him. in a massive car accident and stranded in the woods with a girlfriend who had broken her foot and a crazy ex girlfriend who had stalked them there. kidnapped by Athena (one of my Barbie sized dolls was Athena, like, the goddess) and held captive by her while trying to go home to his 7 situationships. all of this happening to a guy who looks and sounds exactly like Elvis but is otherwise the quintessential everyman.

[just-a-zesty-lil-rat]

it's not you, it's my enemies + coffee shop

66. It’s not you, it’s my enemies + 4. Coffee shop AU

plus bonus florist AU!

Trope Mashups!

[just-a-zesty-lil-rat]

happy new year❄️

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I have created a guide to my stories. A way to help navigate all 90+ of them and hopefully you'll find something you like!