julimar-cool

[julimar-cool]

she jack off my trades till im master of none

[julimar-cool]

Someone's egg is breaking, BAD

[julimar-cool]

The visceral urge to pull apart the cords on new headphones. Literally a psychic battle that I will never win

[julimar-cool]

boy if you don't get your long creepy finger out of my face I've half a mind to tear it off at the knuckle

[julimar-cool]

Trump transition

Trump transition

[julimar-cool]

[julimar-cool]

[julimar-cool]

Computer, tell me more about this "2 pumps" malarkey that I keep hearing about. I simply must understand it

[julimar-cool]

I don't believe in psychic stuff but I woke up thinking "Patrick... Patrick..." Like, the name kept interrupting my other thoughts. So uhhh if something notable happens involving a Patrick today, or just soon, that would be very funny.

P.S. I also did not dream about anyone named Patrick, unless the delightful older lesbian I was living with was named Patrick but I have my doubts.

[julimar-cool]

Me, lying back on the weird therapist chair, hands resting on my stomach, my face is pale, dark circles under my eyes:

"I don't know doc, sometimes I don't feel lucky there's a family guy. I feel absolutely nothing that there's a man who, positively can do, all the things that make us laugh and cry."

[julimar-cool]

They say such awful things to me, they say "your life isn't hard" "it's not that hard stop saying that" but what no one seems to understand is that my life is like a video game, and I'm trying hard to beat the stage. And all the while? I'm still collecting coins.

[julimar-cool]

[julimar-cool]

You take the blue Eggman MDMA pill (158.4 mg), the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red Eggman MDMA pill (162.8 mg), you stay in Eggmanland, and I show you just how meddlesome that hedgehog is

[julimar-cool]

[julimar-cool]

Man…

[julimar-cool]

This reminded me of Pass The Pigs, which is played with two weird little rubber pigs. It's Yahtzee, it's pig Yahtzee.

Check out my 2 fetal pigs

[julimar-cool]

guy fawkes didn't even do anything wrong