juliette-pierson-blog - Tumblr blog

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“It’s an old barn. Of course there is a chance of getting splinters. Now, come on. I’ve had children patients braver than you. Suck it up and I’ll get it out.”

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“Well there was the couple dancing and the guy stepped on the woman’s dress causing basically the whole bottom half to rip off. Luckily she wore underwear. Unlucky for the boyfriend who probably won’t be taking them off her tonight.”

“I honestly haven’t left this bar yet tonight. I pretty much made a beeline as soon as I walked in the door. Darren and I are basically best friends now,” she laughed motioning to the bartender. “So tell me has anything interesting happened that I’ve missed?”

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“How do I know it’s not yours and you’re not some kind of alien?”

“So uh…. hey does anyone know if this… Atom Ray gun is on the list for the scavenger hunt? Because if not I think we may have a problem.”

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“What can I say,” Juliette gave her hair a primp and a shrug before laughing. “Right back at ya. You know I get beauty standards of today are worse, but shit. If I had to do my hair like this everyday the way women did then I’d wear a wig.”

“What is it? Did you actually have to go back in time to get your clothes just to make the rest of us look bad?” they laughed, shaking their head. “I mean… you looking fucking awesome.”

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“Looks like you’re the one who needs help,” Juliette pointed to the tear.

“Damn it” She cursed out looking at the tear on her dress, it wasn’t even hers and she had already managed to make a break at the seam. The sound of feet approaching her made her eyes glare up. “Can I help you with something?”

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text | Juliette + Matt

Matt: Nailed it.

Matt: So let's see this dress you're wearing tomorrow.

Juliette: You have cute employees too. So there's that.

Juliette: Now what makes you think you get to see it before everybody else?

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: Yes, yes I am.

Juliette: Damn. Sorry for questioning your knowledge.

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: Sounds like crock science.

Juliette: Are you the one with the medical degree and vagina?

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: Well everyone knows the g-spot's a myth.

Juliette: But the clit isn't. Little biology for you there.

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: It felt like a funny joke until you typed it out, now I feel weird.

Juliette: I think it's brave how open you are with your lack of skill to please a woman. It's refreshing.

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: I'm telling you that if there was a massive meteor that hit the earth and the few of us left had to repopulate it... I'd be the best guy for the job.

Juliette: I get it now. If a girl wants to get knocked up they go to you. If they want to enjoy the sex they go elsewhere.

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text | Juliette + Phoenix

Phoenix: Well... find a different dress. I mean there are a ton of choices out there, you just aren't looking in the right places?

Juliette: Is there a WWII shop around the corner I don't know about?

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: I cum quickly to maximize my reproductive efficiency. I'm a product of evolution.

Juliette: What you are telling me then is that if this was another fifty years give or take that you'd practically be a sex god?

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text | Juliette + Matt

Matt: I like to think I can keep you a happy customer in other ways.

Juliette: Your breadsticks.

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: You mean you don't mind my impure thoughts?

Juliette: Not like they last all that long.

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text | Juliette + Tristan

Tristan: My palms are sweaty just thinking about your mosquito bites.

Juliette: Keep them up there in the vault to hold you over for the next couple years.