julietinthe2000-blog

[julietinthe2000-blog]

Firefighter

I could feel the flames inside me.

I could feel the heat between us..

Why did you get so close with no intention of staying?

Why must you still love her ..

Although, I still love him..

So who is left to blame.

We go back and forth not realizing we're still playing games with our hearts.

When I told you to work things out with her I hope you know I didn't mean it.

I know you love her.

Like I loved him. An that kind of love never dies so are we truly ever over them when we're together?

Would our future consist of looking for 'them' in eachother...

We are both broken... both high off the idea that we could glue back our broken hearts

I'm standing in a burning building, yet firefighter, you couldn't save me

#poetry #firefighter

[julietinthe2000-blog]

Aladdin

You were the first guy since my ex, that got my heart racing again

When I met you we were both drunk of lights and the feeling of togetherness

You had it all it seemed

Yet I wasn't enough.

Everything we had, we had for two weeks

Now is that how long a flame burns for?

Why did it end. Why did we loose the fire?

I felt the heat this time...

I started to wonder if that's all your purpose was for..?

To help me know that someone will eventually.. keep me warm again..

#poetry #aladdin

[julietinthe2000-blog]

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[julietinthe2000-blog]

“So, how much love is enough?” “Love, you say?” He looked at her, “With the wrong people, it will never be enough.”

Lukas W. // Forgotten Words #170 // Love alone cannot be enough (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)

[julietinthe2000-blog]

London

You were always the devil to my new angel ways.

I couldn't understand how someone so perfect could just love my body and not my heart, while being that close to me.

How did those hours spent talking, turn into the want and need for my body, but not soul... every time.

Was it the distance between us or the lack of love in our hearts?

Did we use eachother to escape from our loneliest nights?

It's easy to think so. I still had open wounds and your loneliness got the better of you. So we use eachother for all we got. And all we had left from past relationships was, heartbreak and a lust for skin... because skin can't hurt you. Only the heart can.

#poetry #london #icouldvereallylovedyou

[julietinthe2000-blog]

Emotionally Unavailable

Right after our break up, you came into my life. Some how a little bird told you how I liked the ink on your skin and the hair on your face.

I was infatuated with your touch and how you lusted for me, as if you were my first love and we were virgins.

The more I got to know you the more you opened up. You told me stories of your past life you hadn't told anyone before. You knew just what to say to a doctor who specialized in helping emotionally unavailable guys.

Your life was an assignment I wanted to help you complete. But you hated group projects and wanted to do it yourself.

I don't know what it was about that hour we'd spend talking after I made you cum, that was so magical.

You were NOTHING I was looking for but for some reason you were what I wanted.

Your stories of anger management, lawsuits, and jail sentences only made me love your scars more...... or was it your view on love that brought me closer?

You've been cheated on and forgot what love felt like. All you remembered was how the fire burned you, but not how it kept you warm and gave you light.

It wasn't my job to fix you. So why do I keep trying?

#poetry #emotionallyunavailable #themenIdate

[julietinthe2000-blog]

Knowing My Worth

The second and final time we broke up I started to blame you completely for treating me worse that before...

Only to realize that it was truly only myself to blame.

The lack of love and respect I demand out of a man was so low, I'm surprised you didn't take my money along with my heart.

But then again, what is money compared to a broken heart and memories I'll spend a life time trying to erase...

[julietinthe2000-blog]

Old fling, New beginnings

It was the night you came to my apartment begging for me back after you realized I could possibly be happy with someone else.

You showed me the "grand gesture" every girl is told about, when a guy truly loves a girl.

Four months later and I find myself alone again.

You never wanted me... you just got tired of being lonely.

It was my decision to end it. To stop putting up with the mental abuse you put me through.

The abuse of you cursing my name and turning myself against me, as if I was the bad girlfriend for wanting you to stay home with me.

Four months of hallow I love you's and empty promises of forever.

The night I had enough and ended it.. I got no response... no fight. No grande gesture.

It's was my decision to end it... so why does it feel like it was actually yours?

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[julietinthe2000-blog]

When I Knew It Was Over

And still When the sun went down that night And all the lonely people came out to run away from their emotions I was purposely intoxicated by something stronger than anything the bartender could have sold me.. I was fucked up from your empty promises Which I choose to numb my body from that night But even when I couldn’t feel my heart anymore I still wished you the best, but wanted nothing to do with you.. It was 4:59 am....but I wasn’t looking for a response..

[julietinthe2000-blog]

Let Me Be

You don’t get to tell me how I should handle my feelings How I’m supposed to deal with heartbreak How I’m suppose to handle someone fucking with me emotionally and physically for 11 months How I’m suppose to come to grips with the reality of “I love you forever” ..not meaning forever.. …it doesn’t work like that.

[julietinthe2000-blog]

Warning Signs

I knew it right away When I said we needed to work it out as boyfriend girlfriend

You hesitated And you said you didn’t wanna jump into it right away

Right there was the first red flag I told myself, if we were back together, that would be it I told you I’d never let you go again You would be mine and I’d be all you need for the rest of our lives

So when I told you, we need to be together to work things out And you said to wait..

How did I not smell fear? How did I not notice doubt and thoughts of failure Doubts in my actions to make you mine forever?

You were scared Your heart was there, but your head just can’t seem to forget the pain

So what now? You live the rest of your life, listening to your head… While your heart mourns the loss of something so pure, something so true Someone who was there for you and your family more than her own Someone who wants nothing more that to see you succeed, with or without her

..Something like me.

[julietinthe2000-blog]

[julietinthe2000-blog]

The Art of Realization

Deal with your feelings Sit down and realize your mistakes Stop distracting yourself with drunken weekends and hands colder than your heart You took part in our downfall too You aided in breaking my heart It wasn’t all me

Know that you hurt me Understand that you helped in loosing someone who would’ve loved you threw anything Someone who was gonna stand by your side threw the good and the bad Someone who was there before you started making money Before you were getting attention from strangers who only looked to use you

Realize your mistakes… Know all that… Then come tell me you never wanna be with me again, And that’s when I’ll listen

[julietinthe2000-blog]

This was Really all my Fault

January 10th 2017

I was told by a friend that because I’ve been threw this before with you It would be easier because I would be use to the pain of disappointment My last time coming down from this emotional roller coaster, although feeling the hardest, was surprisingly the easiest to get over.. It’s been days and right now is the first time I’ve thought about you and not the pain you put me threw

When I hung up the phone that Friday There was a combination of anger, humility, and heartbreak All words in the English dictionary, that helped me describe my stupidity for trusting in your empty words For thinking this time would actually be different An that I’d finally be your number one priority… Instead, I bursted into tears Saw steam coming outta my ears And literally feeling my heart break into two pieces I let you know how I felt and then I blocked you from my life I’d never done that before.. But I’d never felt this Low before either..

It took me days to let the anger and heartache slowly leave my body But once It did I came to grips with the reality of it all. How could I have been so naive? I’ve heard this all before There was nothing you’d done in those four days that was physically different.. So why did my heart long to give you another chance? Was it the texts saying good morning? .. well no cause My laptop tells me that every time I open it Phone calls ? Everyone gets bored when their alone in the car Dinner that one time? Well everybody’s gotta eat right…

….You’d done nothing special. You didn’t tell anybody bout us You didn’t buy me flowers to surprise me You didn’t write me a heartfelt note about how happy you were after I agreed to work thinks out with you You didn’t ask me on a date, or tell me not to ask any question, but to just be ready by 8 cause that’s when you’d pick me up You did nothing different.. Just intoxicate me with your hallow but sweet words, I swallowed so easily..

This was really all my fault Blinded by love… I threw my thoughts out the window, and let my heart do the guiding…

Stupid me for trusting a stranger so quickly..

I had reach my limit. I won’t let you hurt me anymore. When it comes to you, you can say bye to my heart, and hello to my head..

And I have a strong feeling you two won't like each other very much..