jugchild - Tumblr blog

[jugchild]

completely obsessed with this. partially inspired my slavic breakfasts. i’m planning a vampire dinner where everything i cook is going to be red.

[jugchild]

whatever man *gets punched through a wall and rolls into the street where I'm hit by a car which i then hijack and drive away in a huff*

[jugchild]

when i was in middle school Rude by bruno mars came on the radio in the car with my mom and at the chorus it goes “why you gotta be so rude, don’t you know i’m human too, i’m gonna marry ya anyway” and my mom now had her Disapproving Aura on and sighed and said. see this is why [my divorced uncle] married [his mean ex-wife]. what a sad way of loving. and 13yo me was like Oh Damn That Deep. and mentally filed away the lesson Popular Music Promotes Toxic Behavior Therefore Don’t Marry Someone Who’s Mean To You. and ever since then rude by bruno mars has made me just a little bit sad. cut to 5+ years later the song is no longer popular. i happen to hear it over the tinny speakers in a random fast food place. all at once i realize the lyrics are not, in fact, about marrying a girl despite her hating you (gonna marry ya anyway), but marrying a girl despite her parents hating you (gonna marry her anyway). 13yo me and my mom misheard the same lyric and never paid attention to the rest of the song. i am flabbergasted. one of the pillars of my childhood development has just crumbled in a Subway. i am frantically realigning my entire internal ethics system. the cashier still wants to know if i’m getting a cookie. nothing is real

[jugchild]

happy old gnoll

[jugchild]

dadchuck is everything to me

[jugchild]

resteraunts will call themselves gastropubs and eateries so they don’t have to spell restarunt

[jugchild]

hey it's me black mold. thanks for running your window air conditioner all summer. whatever you do, do not regularly clean the removable filter. that's not necessary

you should also never ever unplug the air conditioner and stick a flashlight in the vent that blows air to see if we're in there. it's very bad, that place should not be checked

and whatever you do, if you've already made the mistake of unplugging it, don't remove it from the window for cleaning if possible. and whether it's possible to remove the unit or not, don't carefully disassemble the front panel, document where the screws go and plastic bits go, and open up the vent more to be able to get into it easily

as black mold, i'm an expert on this. you should heed my warnings: now, if you've somehow made the mistake of doing all of the above, you should not use warm water and dish soap to CLEAN the inside of the vent thoroughly. DON'T ever use a bottle brush to get into the hard to reach places. and certainly don't rinse and dry the cleaned area before carefully putting it back together

there's nothing wrong with us, black mold. we don't cause or exacerbate breathing conditions like asthma or other illnesses. it's cool, we're cool

furthermore, if you're capable of removing the window unit, DONT take a hose with the same soapy water and wash the portion of the window unit that sits outside the window and is therefore weatherproofed.

whatever you do, don't allow the air conditioner to dry before plugging it back in and turning it on again

and if you have a central air conditioner, you will definitely never ever consult a manual or sources online to perform a similar cleaning procedure on the cooling unit outside.

lastly, if you're physically unable to do the things we (the black mold) warned you not to do above, you should never ever ask someone to help you or hire a service to do it.

[jugchild]

my friend said i speak like ive got a tumblr smh. just because i said automatic cars lack a certain eroticism that comes with a gear shift. another victim of *gnome runs by* hey did anyone else see that

[jugchild]

tweeter @frienem does the best HDB cosplay I've ever seen in my life

[jugchild]

at my wedding yes i will have a maid of honour but why stop there. ill give all my maids titles. we will have a maid of hope. a maid of horror. a maid of horticulture. a maid of harm. a maid of healing. and of course. a maid of hogs

[jugchild]

i will never be against piracy ever but i also need physical media to remain

[jugchild]

Willard Library is one of the most haunted places in the United States. However one image from the library’s ghost feed is very disturbing. On August 8th 2003, this image was captured on the feed. It shows a black mass crawling on the floor in the children’s section. This spirit along with the infamous Gray Lady are some of the ghosts that the small Indiana library is proud to house.

[jugchild]

[jugchild]

this is the saddest fucking thing. wheres that post about when you cant even write a poem about it because its just there already

[jugchild]

idk if this is a contreversial take or not but i think that the ideal internet experience is being able to remove specific things (triggers, nsfw, gore) if you truly dont want to see them but overall being also shown things you aren’t interested in. i think one of my fave things about tumblr is seeing like 50% of my dash be about fandoms im not in, bands i dont like and quotes from books i dont want to read rather than this endless feedback loop of tiktok showing me ‘exactly what i want to see’ in a trap to keep me online as long as possible and blind to communities outside of my own. i want a mix of curating my own experience and a healthy dose of content i don’t already know i want to see, yknow?

[jugchild]

You're not immune to being the bully btw. You're not immune to being in the wrong