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December 11, 2013 -- Once bitten, twice shy

I remember this time, last year. We were sitting around, eating cookies after a long day at work. You were nestled into my arms, staring quietly at the beautifully decorated Christmas tree. We sat there in silence, and enjoyed each other's company. Those were happier times.

My mind always drifts to you when I'm feeling depressed. You always knew how to make me feel better. You had this undeniable charm, which made my heart content.

 I lead to our inevitable downfall. I didn't try as hard to keep you with me. I took you for granted, and it was one of the worst mistakes of my life.

But I shouldn't dwell on that.

You were my first love. You were the person who captivated me in more ways than one. But, I have moved on from you. I've found joy and happiness in another soul, and I wish to please them as much as I can. I'll do all the things I should have done. I'll cherish them and make them my world. 

Whenever I'm brave enough I'll find you again and speak to you, as friends, of course. I'll tell you about this person that I'm smitten with. I'll listen when you tell me about your special someone. We can laugh and be happy, just like old times.

Maybe not today, but someday.

JS.

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So... tired...

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Ye-- Whoa. {'follows along after her, shaking his head} I'm not sick again. I'm trying to get rid of a smoking habit and coughing is the side effect. {'rubbing the back of his neck}

{’ perks up and looks at him with her brows arched and eyes slightly widened; } Jinjja? Then we must hurry! {’ grips on his sleeve and hurries down the corridor then stops abruptly upon hearing the cough, turning on her heels to face him; } Are you… sick again? 

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{'nods} Pretty sure they're all set up. Heard the light show is in... {'checks his watch} A half hour or so. It's really pretty. {'turns his head away to cough}

{’ holds the door open and leaves after him, locking the door behind her; } Nae. I want to see the Christmas lights. {’ plays with the keys while walking down the corridor beside him; } Are they set yet?

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Send me a ♠ and an idol; muse and mun will discuss them.

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You’re allowed to scream, you’re allowed to cry, but do not give up.

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Gangsta Soshi B|

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Well, hello there.

Hello, hello.

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43. What’s your current problem? Being accepted. ???????? Care to explain?

I meant not being accepted. {'shrugs} Just a feeling of rejection I get when I talk to some people.

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Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

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all of them

1. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Sometimes I want a girlfriend. But then sometimes I feel like she'd live better without me.

2. When did your last hug take place?

A few minutes ago.

3. Are you a jealous person?

Very jealous. 

4. Are you tired right now?

Yes. Too tired.

5. Do you chew on your straws?

Mhmm.

6. Have you ever been called a tease?

My fans call me that.

7. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

No. I value my sleep.

8. Do you cry easily?

Only when I act.

9. What should you be doing right now?

Sleeping.

10. Are you a heavy sleeper?

Sort of. Not sure. 

11. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

If I truly love that person, yes.

12. Are you mad at someone right now?

Sort of. Maybe.

13. Do you believe in love?

Of course.

14. What makes you laugh no matter what?

I don't know, to be honest. 

15. Who was the last person you talked to?

Naeun.

16. Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

Oh yes.

17. Will you get married?

Planning on it.

18. When was the last time you smiled?

Last night.

19. Does anyone like you?

I have no clue.

20. Do you secretly like someone?

Possibly.

21. Who was the first person you talked to today?

Naeun.

22. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Yuri. Naeun. Yoonjo.

23. What are you NOT looking forward to?

Working on Monday.

24. What ARE you looking forward to?

A Christmas surprise.

25. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you  and meant it?

Mhmm.

26. Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

Never had an ex. But I'd brush it off. That's why my ex is still my ex... I never trust a word she says.

27. Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

Nah. I like Cheongguk.

28. Are you a forgiving person?

Depends on the situation. 

29. How many TRUE friends do you have?

5.

30. Do you fall for people easily?

Ehhh. Half and  half.

31. Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

No.

32. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

Popsicle. 

33. Who was the last person you drove with?

Manager.

34. How late did you stay up last night and why?

I fell asleep at 10. I don't know why.

35. If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Nope.

36. Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Myself. #selfiesfordays

37. Can you live a day without TV?

Yes.

38. When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

Yesterday.

39. Three names you go by..

Jongsuk, Suk, JS.

40. Are you currently in a relationship?

Nope. Single.

41. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

Not about that romance movie life.

42. Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

Of course.

43. What’s your current problem?

Being accepted. 

44. Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yeah.

45. Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

It only works if you want it to work.

46. How many kids do you want to have?

A boy and a girl. 2 kids.

47. Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?

It's always hard to confess to someone.

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Hush. Just... try as hard as you can, okay? I really don't like formalities. It makes me nervous and stiff. I feel older than I really am when someone calls me Jongsuk-ssi. {'he glances at her, snorting a bit} My god, Shinhye... This is the best thing I've ever tasted! It's like an angel helped you slave over that oven to bake these little pieces of heaven! Oh my, oh my. {'holds onto his chest, falls back onto the ground dramatically}

{’ shakes her head a bit; } Aniyo. It just… sounds wrong. So I’m having a hard time getting used to the idea of dropping something that seems like the right thing for me to do. {’ furrows her brows lightly, leaning forward in expectation for his feedback; } Good? {’ squints at him, taking a cookie and nipping on it to taste the treat herself; } That’s all you have for me? “Really good?" {’ tries to hold back a grin but fails and takes another bite, feigning a dramatic sigh; } And to think I’ve wasted my time for that compliment… 

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1-47. o uo

u_________u Yoonjo asked for the same.

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{'logs on, looks at dash}

...

{'logs off}

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{'chuckles at her obvious nervousness} Is it really that hard? You seem to be anxious since I mentioned formalities. {'sits down across from her, picking up a cookie to munch on; stops chewing to look at her, contemplating whether or not to feign disdain} Hmm. {'starts chewing again, looking down at the sweet treat} It's.... {'grins} Good. Really good. 

{’ looks down, fidgeting on the pendant; } Mianhae… I’m trying to get used to it but it’s not as simple as it seems. {’ crinkles her nose for a moment, going to sit by the coffe table, setting the plate on it; } I think I need a nickname for you. That way will be easier. Come, come. {’ she chuckles at his reaction and serves tea for both of them, absent mindedly reaching for the pendant; } Now go ahead and take a bite. I wanna know what you think.

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I think you're kind, distracted, respectful, fun to be with, a bit touchy for a gentleman but we can say you are one.

A bit touchy? {'snorts} I like skinship, I'm sorry.

Distracted? {'tilts his head}

But thank you for the rest of the compliments, anon.