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Friends at the end of the Republic | Ahsoka & Rex, by illustrator, Veronica Ruffato
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“Azriel can't have a book because SJM only have female protagonist”
Chaol Westfall somewhere in the MaasVerse:

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How my intrusive thoughts happen upon me when I try to sleep at night:
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CHARLIE VICKERS and MORFYDD CLARK behind the scenes of The Rings of Power Season 2 Episode 8 "Shadow and Flame"
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His Dark Materials is a franchise that tackles so many branches of physics and even creates a universe where the main course of study is experimental theology which is all about identifying and explaining dark matter while also adding dimensions to string theory, the multiverse theory, and the very concept of the human soul. At the same time, it aggressively calls out the problem with the state being controlled by the church, how people are condemned for being different and religious fearmongering stops the chance at growth both on an individual and a societal scale. It’s a franchise where the heroes of the story are two children who aren’t allowed to know the prophecy they’re a part of, who save the world unwittingly simply by doing what they believe to be right. Meanwhile, the person who thought he was the hero all along, the person who rallied an army from multiple universes to FIGHT. GOD. HIMSELF. is ultimately consumed by his own ego and forced to take a back seat when he realises he’s just one tiny piece of a much larger story that’s true heart is his own daugher. The child he abandoned, the child he didn’t know or care to know how to look after. It’s a franchise about finding love even when your biological family abandon you, it’s about looking evil in the eye and seeing your own mother, it’s about good and evil not being black and white but instead a complex and cruel mixture of both. It’s about the two worst people you know banding together at the last second to save their daughter with their final breaths. It’s about exploration and learning how to grow through experience, it’s about kindness being shared across the multiverse, exchanging stories with strangers and saving the whole world by doing something perfectly ordinary and receiving no reward.
Oh, and it’s also a franchise rich with fantasy, with giant talking polar bears, witches and ghosts, angels and daemons, and a mammal-like species from another world that travels exclusively on roller skates.
And it fucking. rocks.
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it's always better to have loved.
philip pullman, the amber spyglass / guillermo del toro's pinocchio (2022) / fleabag (2016-2019) / andrew garfield / art by @catadromously / anne carson, euripides / markus zusak, the book thief / shannon barry / little women (2019) / the good place (2016-2020) / fyodor dostoevsky, crime and punishment / his dark materials (2019-2022) / @starpeace
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Bad Batch/His Dark Materials AU!
Here’s The Batch with their daemons! Be warned I have so many thoughts behind this AU. So leave now if you don’t want to read my absolute essay of a lore dump.
My idea for this AU is that all the clones tend to have dogs daemons, both in line with the whole ‘clones are the same’ idea and ‘dogs who follow orders’ stereotype, but also this idea in this universe that the ‘Vode’ are a “pack” of sorts. Generally the clones’ daemons are dog breeds with pointy ears. And battalions usually get made up of clones with same dog breeds as daemons (the 501st has mostly huskies/malamutes and the 212th has mostly German Shepards/Belgian Malanois for example). All of this to say, Clone Force 99 stands out even more in this AU because of their daemons. “Regs” who have daemons that deviate from the ‘normal’ type of daemon clones’ have, get terminated. Though for clones to have daemons that settle into something ‘abnormal’ is rare to begin with. So The Bad Batch having not-dog daemons AND being allowed to live is kinda the main reason of tension between The Batch and the ‘Regs’.
Some more details about TBB in this AU:
Because Ghost is albino, she has sensitive eyes and bad vision in general. Which is an interesting duality to Crosshair’s exceptional eyesight.
All through out s1-3 of TBB I imagine Omega’s daemon (Delta) hasn’t settled, and she shifts between a bird of prey and different dogs breeds. And Delta often will shift into the same animal as the other Batchers’ daemons when interacting with them. It’s not until Omega escapes Tantis with Crosshair that Delta settles into a Timber Wolf.
Echo’s daemon (Mimic) was originally a grey husky, but after being captured by techno Union she starts to shift into different dog breeds. This is very unparalleled, it’s very rare for daemons to shift again after they originally settle. And it’s NEVER happened to a clone before. Its not until Echo joins The Bad Batch that Mimic settles again as an Australian Cattle Dog. Though it takes even longer than that for Echo and Mimic to become comfortable with each other again.
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“If you were to ask me what Throne of Glass is about…
I’d say it’s about the epic journey of a teenage assassin in a corrupt kingdom.
But if you were to ask me on a deeper level, I’d say…
It’s about how small acts of kindness can change the outcome of the world.
Money to a barmaid, waiting an extra minute to shoot, a warning in a competition, a cloak in a cold dungeon, a message on a wall, sharing your lavender soap.”
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“a little birdie told me”
and the bird in question was king rowan, terrasen’s biggest gossip
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I have realized that the perfect form of media must have a delicate balance between absolutely heart wrenching pure emotional devastation and the most ridiculous nonsense you have ever seen in your whole life
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A couple of days ago, I was reading a series in which the heroes were just not up to par in my head because as per usual, I was comparing them to the one and only Jericho Z Barrons. Because I missed his character so much, I decided to jaunt a Google search just to delve back into his character. I then came across a Facebook post by the author - Karen Marie Moning, which was exactly what I needed to read to get the closure I so desperately was looking for, especially given how the final book was written/ended. For any Jericho Barrons fans out there, this one is for you.
Written by Karen Marie Moning on Facebook, 7 Feb 2021.
About JERICHO BARRONS
(SPOILERS if you’re not current on the books)
Bet that got your attention 😉
I knew, from the onset of the Fever Series, I would never take the reader inside Jericho Barrons’s head. However, that doesn’t prevent me from psychoanalyzing my own character. I’m fairly certain I’m the one who created him, not the other way around, although given his formidable powers, I suppose it’s possible that I’m the figment of his imagination. I analyze all my characters, and have elaborate portfolios on them.
Barrons came onto the page, a fully fleshed enigma, demanding I ask no questions, only follow him around and get to know him. Judge him by his actions.
I’ve heard readers say ‘Barrons changed’ over the series, as if that’s a surprising fact.
Of course, he changed. Nearly every character in the series did, with few exceptions. I would say Rowena remained precisely what she was throughout, but off the top of my head, I can’t think of any other character besides secondary ones who didn’t transform substantially. Even Jo was becoming different, growing, when she met her untimely and dreadful demise. Lor also changed, or perhaps he merely began revealing more of the raucous, good-hearted man beneath the Bonecrusher. Ryodan also changed, but less than Jericho Barrons. Ryodan didn’t have the same backstory. He’d been out in the world, living participating, protecting his family, being king of his domain.
Barrons had been solely focused on a single thing right up until the moment Mac came into his life, and even after. There’d been no life for Barrons. He was a man on a mission.
Since I never allowed the reader inside his head (with minute exceptions) the only way the reader had to gauge Barrons’s emotion was through the eyes of other characters in the books, and he’s an inscrutable male even to other characters.
A friend asked me the other day what I considered the inflection point in Jericho Barrons’s character growth, which was a simple question for me to answer but that she asked it made me realize it may have been more obvious to me than it was to the reader.
Jericho Barrons suffered what I imagine to be one of the most exquisitely painful, draining, debilitating states of existence of which I can conceive. He lived, in comparison, a tiny amount of time as a man, in a barbaric land, as a barbarian, before his induction into a never-ending hell that stretched for inestimable millennia without respite.
As a parent, every single day, for thousands and thousands of years, he watched his son suffer unspeakable pain, knowing it was his own fault his child was suffering. (To those who’ve asked, who the woman was that once was his sun, moon and stars, before Mac, it was his son’s mother. Before Barrons became what he is, he loved a woman deeply.) (Also, remember that the terrible torture and repeated killings of his son that turned the child into an insane version of the beast occurred roughly one year after the Nine became what they are, so Barrons has been trying to save or put his son to rest since one year after they became. His entire existence has been devoted to this cause. Barrons killed the man who did it to his son as well as the man's wife, no it wasn't pretty. He carries that and pays it forward.) He had to live every moment of every hour trying to deal with the fact that what he’d done, what happened so long ago, had not only stolen all hope of a life for his son, but condemned that innocent child to eternal torment, in his care. He couldn’t leave him. He couldn’t give him peace. He couldn’t save him. His child. The one who stared up at him trustingly, with all the love in his eyes.
And he’d failed him.
Each day Jericho Barrons lived, his son was in agony. He tended him, fed his uncontrollable appetites, kept him chained and caged, tormented day and night, while he searched obsessively for a way to—if not save him—at least give him peace.
As Barrons said, “Dying is overrated. Human sentimentality has twisted it into the ultimate act of love. Dying for someone isn’t the hard thing. The man that dies escapes. Plain and simple. Game over. End of pain. Try living for someone. Through it all – good, bad, thick, thin, joy, suffering. That’s the hard thing.” Barrons knows that intimately. His entire existence revolved around this problem. He lived, holding his breath, searching endlessly, acquiring all ancient artifacts in existence, studying crumbling scrolls, learning the dark arts, desperate to find a way to end his son’s suffering. It was his reason for being.
Into that life burst our Rainbow Girl and yes, she pissed him off. He knew, from the mural on his ceiling, she was important to him, that they had a destiny together but Mac 1.0 who walked into his bookstore was not geared to survive. She was a liability, another person that needed him. He was hard on her. He was tough. He pushed her, drove her, challenged her. He did everything he could to give her teeth and claws, and he succeeded.
(As a mental exercise, take a moment to re-cast every scene between Mac and Barrons in the first five books with this: Instead of starting the scene from Mac’s POV, start out with Jericho Barrons, beneath his garage with his son. We can see the pain that draws his face taut, we see the grief and despair in his eyes. We know he flashes back to that desert, to his son’s trusting eyes, to his own failure. We know he divides his time between caring for his son’s rabid needs in a rather grotesque fashion and searching exhaustively for a way to save him. There’s a heaviness in Barrons’s heart that never lifts. He, like his son, will never be free. Then he goes to the bookstore and tries to deal with the woman who actually thinks birthday cakes and whether her nails are painted matters. Mac’s lucky he didn’t eat her. This all comes down to whether I, as the writer, permit you to know his backstory up front. If’ I’d been writing a romance, not only would I have given you more of his backstory initially, but I’d also have given you his point of view, binding your emotions and empathy to him. By never letting you into his head, I never bound your empathy to him.)
He had to grow Mac up fast in the single year that passed for them between Darkfever and Shadowfever when, at last, Mac gave him the way to end his son’s eternal pain.
Freeing him.
And Jericho Barrons exhaled for the first time.
And, as some of the terrible pain and tension rolled off him, he looked around, wonderingly, and realized he could finally do something the rest of the Nine had been doing all along.
Live.
Maybe even laugh. Care again. Without it resulting in only pain.
Ask himself what he wanted to do today.
Make love to Mac and not hear the endless howls of anguish from beneath the garage behind the bookstore. Give of himself freely and wholly.
Barrons was transformed by this event.
I love Jericho Barrons. He’s not an easy man. But he is rock-solid and committed. He’s done terrible things in the past and he exists as a beast that must meet certain needs. He walks a fine line with it, puts more good into the world than bad, and perhaps most critically, learns and evolves. As he tells Mac, there are some things you can never forgive yourself for (in the conversation about Jo) but you learn to pay it forward. He’s fiercely intelligent but brusque with his wisdom. Still, he can be gentle. Remember the scene when Mac discovers Dani killed Alina? And his Rainbow Girl time in the basement in the Dark Zone. That was hell for him. He wanted Mac to want him. And she didn’t. She wanted sex. Not him. In their suspended time of Pri-ya, she fulfilled his fantasies, rocked his world, rattled his soul.
Without ever once seeing him.
When you know who I am…let me be your man.
I’ve said from the beginning, what fascinates me as a writer is taking flawed, imperfect characters, throwing obstacles and challenges their way and seeing what they become. But also, throwing tribe and love their way and watching how that changes them, too.
Loving and being loved, finding your tribe where you fit, are accepted and valued, is one of the most transformative powers in the universe. It strengthens souls and softens hearts.
But it wasn’t over for Barrons yet. Mac had an inner demon that she would never rest easy until she’d defeated. Again, Barrons stood back and did all in his power to help a woman he loved achieve what she needed. With Mac, it often took painful truths to jam some steel up her spine.
Barrons will never be the hero who pops up as a knight in shining armor every time Mac needs saving. (Although, arguably, the only time he wasn’t Johnny-on-the-spot, he was dead.) He will be the man who teaches her all he knows to make her capable of saving herself or, at the least, to survive long enough for him to get there to help her. And together, they will thrive. He won’t be the man who says all the right words. But he’ll do the right things. He won’t always do the right things with finesse. He’s not perfect.
I had a vision, from the beginning, how I wanted Mac and Barrons to end up and, in KOSAL, I take them there. What a boring series it would be if the only person who changed and grew was Mac.
We live, we grow, we evolve. Those are the kind of characters I’m driven to write about.
The Fever Series suffered more than a few challenges. One of them is that it doesn’t comfortably fit within any one genre. It’s not romance, I didn’t write a book boyfriend. I wrote a difficult but infinitely rewarding man. I didn’t write a perfect heroine. I followed a woman from innocence to wisdom and chronicled her many mistakes along the way. It’s not quite fantasy, although the world building is fully fleshed, vivid and cohesive. It’s not really even urban fantasy. It’s an odd blend of mystery, slow burn love, transformation, how-to-survive-tough-times, fantasy with enough romance that it makes it a bit of a mess to pigeonhole.
Mac and Barrons are not, nor are they intended to be, an example of a perfect relationship. Their relationship is perfect for them. They bring out the best in each other. Not the worst, not the mediocre. The best. He’s right for her and she’s right for him, the way Dani and Ryodan fit each other, Kat and Sean, Christian and…well, you don’t know that part yet. I’m not holding any of my couplings up as a shining example of that to which we should aspire in our own lives. Love them or hate them, they are all gray characters, imperfect people, in an imperfect, fictional world populated by superheroes, assassins, dragon-like Hunters, Fae, druids, supernatural powers.
Now that the Fever Series is drawing to a close, I compiled a list of my favorite Jericho Barrons quotes. Many of them are my favorites because they’re just good advice about life. He was trying to teach Mac, wake her up, bring her to an equal playing ground. Feel free to add if I’ve missed any of yours. I may do this for other characters, as well. It’s intriguing to look back and see how far they’ve all come.
___
I’m sorry your pretty little world got all screwed up, but everybody’s does, and you go on. It’s how you go on that defines you.
You’re Mac. And I’m Jericho. And nothing else matters. Never will. You exist in a place that is beyond all rules for me. Do you understand that?” (I do, Jericho Barrons just told me he loves me.)
Sometimes, Ms. Lane, one must break with one’s past to embrace’s one’s future. It is never an easy thing to do. It is one of the distinguishing characteristics between survivors and victims. Letting go of what was, to survive what is. (God, did we all learn that in the Time of Covid?)
And this isn’t a Barrons quote but about Barrons…”Ancient eyes had stared at me, filled with ancient grief. And something more. Something so alien and unexpected that I’d almost burst into tears. I’d seen many things in his eyes in the time I’d known him. Lust, amusement, sympathy, mockery, caution, fury. But I had never seen this. Hope. Jericho Barrons had hope, and I was the reason for it. I would never forget his smile. It had illuminated him from the inside out. (This is when he realizes she may be able to lay his son to rest.)
And here we go. She’s bristling and my hackles go up. Bloody hell. I feel fangs coming on. Tell you what, Ms. Lane. Anytime you want to have a conversation with me, leave the myriad issues you have with wanting to fuck me every time you see me outside my cave, come on in and see what you find. You might like it. (That was total truth. Mac got in her own way quite often. I love her, but she had a lot of growing to do.)
Lose the pessimism, Ms. Lane. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hope strengthens, fear kills.
You’re leaving me, Rainbow Girl.
If only love could be turned off. It’s not a faucet. Love’s a bloody river with level-five rapids. Only a catastrophic act of nature or a dam has any chance of stopping it – and then usually only succeeds in diverting it. Both measures are extreme and change the terrain so much you end up wondering why you bothered. No landmarks to gauge your position once it’s done. Only way to survive is to devise new ways to map out life.
The only question of any significant emotive content is: can you live without it?
Fear is more than a wasted emotion. It’s the ultimate set of blinders. If you can’t face the truth of your reality, you can’t be a part of it, can’t control it. You may as well throw in the towel and yield to the whims of anyone with a stronger will.
Mac is mine. You will never go there. You have a problem with Mac, you work it out with me. I am her shield. I am her second fucking skin. (This one just makes my heart happy, lol)
Of all the years, this one has been my finest. Fire to my ice, Mac. Frost to my flame.
I sometimes wake up to find he’s pulled me close to him and is holding me, spooned into my back with his face in my hair and, those hands that don’t speak like mine don’t speak move over my skin and tell me I’m cherished, honored, seen.
I didn’t want to hide the memory from you. I wanted to cram it down your goddamn throat. I wanted to force you to face it, to want it, to want me, to be willing to fight for what was possible between us with the same single-minded devotion as you fucked. Well, Ms. Lane, you’ve got your precious memory back. Will you throw me away now?
I’ve had a long life. You haven’t. You love your family. Go to another world. Find a…a husband— (he breaks off and that dangerous rattle starts in his chest yet, he goes on) Have children. Rebuild the human race. Live all those dreams you used to have. (She refuses, of course.)
When you know who I am, let me be your man.
Oh ye of little faith. Not for IYD. But you didn’t even try.
Women have been repeating the same mistake since time began: falling for a man’s potential. We rarely see it the same way and even more rarely care to achieve it.
One day you may kiss a man you can’t breathe without and find breath is of little consequence.
(M) Are we, like, having a conversation? (B) Did you just, like, ask me for advice and listen with an open mind? If so, then yes, I would call this a conversation.
Then there’s one from KOSAL that you haven’t seen yet:
B. You choose. Hero or villain.
M. You told me you’re not the hero.
B. Not the villain either.
M. What else is there?
B. A person that gets up every day and tries as hard as she can to live up to what she believes in. Aims for the stars. Misses sometimes. Tries again. Harder. With more commitment to protecting others and less selfishness.
Typical of their early relationship, this one makes me laugh:
B. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were trouble.
M. Ditto.
B. I wanted to drag you between the shelves, fuck you senseless and send you home.
M. If you’d done that, I never would have left.
B. You’re still here anyway.
M. You don’t have to sound so sour about it.
B. You’re upsetting my entire existence.
M. Fine. I’ll leave.
B. Try and I’ll chain you up.
What are some of your favorites quotes from the Fever Series?
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My toxic trait is that I LIVE for problematic/forbidden/borderline toxic relationship tropes in books.
The age difference/power differential between Romitri…loved it.
The hate-filled/borderline abusive relationship between Jericho and Mac…couldn’t get enough.
The beating-the-shit-out-of-each-other between Casteel and Poppy…yes please.
Don’t get me wrong, my real-life relationships are not toxic and I demand the respect I deserve, but I like my fiction problematic and steamy.
Sue me.
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When I say the men of TOG all easily beat out the ACOTAR boys I am not just referring to Dorian Havilliard or Rowan Whitethorn (the obvious standards) but THE HUNTER WHO WAITED FOR ASTERIN??? NOX OWEN???? ILLIAS THE SILENT ASSASSIN???? Men at every level of TOG are serving looks, loyalty, and respect that is unmatched ESPECIALLY compared to ACOTAR and CC
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Will Herondale, having to be cruel against his very nature every single day to everyone, terrified of Jem leaving, crying himself to sleep since learning of Jem and Tessa's engagement (every time Tessa sees him it is mentioned he is red-eyed), walking around London endlessly to outrun his own thoughts, unable to let anyone know. James Carstairs, dying and terrified it will break Will, growing weaker and hating himself for it, killing himself for fear of letting Tessa know her love isn't sustaining his life, unable to let anyone know. Tessa Gray, beaten and slapped, exhausted to tears in a prison, terrified for her brother and if he's dead, loving two people equally and having to hide it from both, unable to let anyone know. Gideon Lightwood, walking away from his family, hoping to be a better man that his little brother can look up to, wanting to save him from their childhood, in love with a woman that does not seem to want him, unable to let anyone know. Gabriel Lightwood, alone in a house with his father going mad, heartbroken at his brother leaving him, trapped by the Consul's blackmail, unable to let anyone know. Cecily Herondale, losing both her siblings in a matter of days, growing up alone and having to learn to repair the cracks left behind by her brother leaving, being angry at him for not thinking their family was worth it, unable to let anyone know. Sophie Collins, only a servant, her only wish to be a Shadowhunter being one which can never come true because she has a debt to repay, in love with a man with whom it can never work out, unable to let anyone know. Charlotte Branwell, her only desire to influence and help and protect being mocked and crushed by men, in love with a man that looks at her as a friend, unable to let anyone know. Henry Branwell, knowing things work different than what he's been taught, knowing he is right but cannot possibly explain and will always be laughed at as insane, in love with a woman that married him for convenience, unable to let anyone know.
The Infernal Devices understood loneliness like no other book I've read, the bone deep sense of being utterly alone even when surrounded by people.
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