jozthen

[jozthen]

        ANGER   WAS   :                                      BETTER   THAN   TEARS                                     BETTER   THAN   GRIEF                                     BETTER   THAN   GUILT

[jozthen]

#cute, soft boy

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i’m  alive  i  just  don’t  have  the  energy  yet  to  write  stuff  atm.   super  drained  by  life.

[jozthen]

one liners  placed  within  canon  timeline,  or  will  vary  depending  from  which  verse  your  muse  stands.   ( no  worries,   we’ll  work  out  the  small  details  like  verse  info,  etc.  right  after  i  dive  in  your  dms  or  raid  your  askbox. )   

                                                                                 *  NO  CAPS  !!

[jozthen]

AFTG INDIE RP MASTERLIST!

               i’ve revamped it from the old one because i accidentally deleted it so here we are! to be added either message @vixexyn or reblog this post with your info in the tags (character name / canon or oc or verse)

[jozthen]

𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗧𝗘𝗦𝗧. tagged  by  :  @russianllterature tagging :    @scarfwere  /  @hcathens  /  @hneul  /  @im-possiblelimits  /  @nancydrcw  /  @nosestealer

( 90% ) EGOISM — Excessive concern with one’s own pleasure or advantage at the expense of community well-being.

( 37% ) MACHIAVELLIANISM — Manipulativeness, callous affect, and a strategic, calculating orientation.

( 47% ) MORAL DISENGAGEMENT — A generalized cognitive orientation that differentiates one’s thinking towards unethical behavior.

( 0% ) NARCISSISM — An all-consuming drive towards ego-reinforcement and an egotistical interest in, or admiration of, one’s self.

( 30% ) ENTITLEMENT — A stable and pervasive sense that one deserves and is entitled to more than others.

( 27% ) PSYCHOPATHY — Deficits in affect and self-control (i.e. callousness and impulsivity), as well as a lack of remorse, antisocial behavior, and volatility.

( 33% ) SADISM — A tendency to humiliate others via cruel or demeaning behavior, or the propensity to intentionally inflict physical, sexual, or psychological pain on others in order to assert power or for pleasure and enjoyment.

( 0% ) SELF-INTEREST — The unprincipled pursuit of gains in socially valued domains, such as material goods, social status, recognition, achievement, and success.

( 37% ) SPITEFULNESS — A tendency to engage in behavior that would harm others but would also entail harm to oneself.

( 33% ) TOTAL DARK CORE — Your total Dark Core factor. Higher scores indicate a darker personality.

this  makes  NEIL JOSTEN  13.89%   lighter   than  the  average  person.

[jozthen]

@exysource game #3 » favourite character

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a sleeping neil

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    in  any  sense  of  words  left  in  him ,   𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳  𝘪𝘴  𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥.

    he  had  never  travelled  before  in  his  life,   cooped  up  only  in  stifling  corners  of  black  rooms  and  choking  smell  of  blood  in  dark  rooms,   until  a  few  months  later  have  seen  him  in  SWEDEN.    overwhelming  than  baltimore  and  its  woods,  with  bustling  crowds  and  big  bricked  houses  and  having  nowhere  familiar  to  run  to;  and  yet,   he  finds  familiarity  in  the  dark  at  the  back  of  a  truck,   with  sharp  and  cold  metal  promising  hurt  by  the  men  who  drove  it  somewhere.

                        ‟     ...    ❜      he  stayed  still  behind  crates,  smelling  gunpowder  and  high  risks  of  uncertainty  especially  as  with  every  bump  on  the  road,  he  can  only  hear  the  wild  racing  of  his  heart  and  the  heat  of  his  mother’s  palm  on  his  cheeks.   careless,   reckless,   useless   —— surely  by  now  with  the  reminders  of  the  tip  of  his  father’s  wrath  on  his  skin,   alex  would’ve  learned  a  hell  of  a  curve.

    unfortunately,   getting  separated  on  their  first  international  getaway  is  unintentionally  not  on  his  list;   and  hopefully,   the  german  words  drilled  into  him  before  they  get  there  is  enough  to  keep  him  alive.   before  then,   escaping  capture  from  an  accidental  kidnapping  - -   alex  made  sure  not  to  make  a  trace  of  life  when  he  chose  this  as  a  hiding  spot  - -    is  the  topmost  priority.    honestly,   he  should’ve  checked  the  truck  first  if  there’s  someone  in  there  before  he  jumped  in  to  hide ...    STUPID  !  

                                   ▬▬▬▬  ＆；   @russianllterature​​  ， plotted.

[jozthen]

tag dump.

*taps mic* how does my entire ass taste like?  /  dash comm. i said please‚ i tried to be nice.  /  wall comm.i  have a bit of an attitude problem.  /  musings. at the equally weak flutter in his chest.  / audio. love you‚ hate you‚ don’t care. just make them look at you.  /  video. i should wear less gray? maybe you should breathe less air.  /  wardrobe. like his world stopped and started with neil’s mouth.  / nsfw aes.   this is the moment you stop being a rabbit.  /  headcanon. mouth full of white lies.  / reply. against everything neil knew‚  but he’d queued this path. you know‚ i get it…   / crack.

[jozthen]

current  name  usage  concept :

alex  /  alexander  -  europe  ( sweden )

stefan  -  europe  to  usa

chris  -  usa

[jozthen]

                         ‟     𝗧𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿, 𝗜 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱'𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱   ' 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥 ' .    ❜

                          ▬▬▬▬  ＆；   @puridior  ， sc.

[jozthen]

He’s a little terrifying

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                        ‟     𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨...    𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄.   𝗦𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘆𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼.    ❜

  ▬▬▬▬  ＆；   @lightcreators  ， sc. 

[jozthen]

░  ┊   @hcathens​   。• ◞

    for  once ,    he  appreciates  the  floor  under  his  weight;   legs  stretched  yet  body  unresponsive  to  whatever  the  mind  attempts  setting  on …    what ,   with  shoulders  hunched  and  arms  laying  low ,   his  hands  resting  in  the  gap  between  his  lower  limbs.    the  only  reason  that  neil  is  becoming  aware  of  his  limitations  is  when  numbness  begins  to  settle  along  with  slight  tremors  that  he  can  feel  in  his  fingers. 

    the  way  that  a  thousands’  worth  of  exy  racquet  slipping  through  his  grip  during  the  recent  drill  several  minutes  ago  is  a  tall  tell.  

                                          ‟     I’m  trying.     ❜          voice  strained ,   holding  back  frustrations  veiled  in  the  exhaustion  creeping  in  his  system ,   and  avoiding  having  another  tiring  same  old  arguments  with  kevin.    of  course  there’s  no  time  for  neil  to  sit  on  his  ass  because  the  games  aren’t  going  to  win  by  themselves;   but  ——                    ‟     You  don’t  need  to  remind  me  about  the  nooses  around  our  necks.     ❜

    it  hurts …    but  nothing  worse  that  he  hasn’t  survived  before.    the  anger  dissipates  under  the  silent  acceptance  and  grumbling  under  his  breath ,    annoyed  that  as  when  he  stands  up ,    the  redhead  has  to  hold  onto  his  knees  for  a  while  before  straightening  up.    wincing  slightly ,   frowning  greatly  at  the  disappointment  he  received  when  he  moves  his  right  shoulder  in  a  circular  motion.    testing ,   testing.

                                         ‟     …Let’s go.     ❜ 

his body was made of adrenaline.  

exy was everything that moved kevin since he could remember, that feeling of overcoming the exhaustion was something he was used to. he long learned to ignore his body’s pleas to stop moving in favor of playing, practicing even further. that’s why he was one of the best exy players alive.  that’s why he was the best exy player alive. 

even then, with his racket down while he talked scolded to neil, kevin couldn’t stop moving. body screaming as he moved from one foot to another, small little jumps to keep his body going against it’s own will. kevin never knew when to stop.  all he knew was exy and that didn’t change just because going back to the ravens weren’t a threat anymore.  

he was still playing for his life, afterall …  and so was neil, that’s why kevin pushed him.

accessing his friend’s exhaustion, kevin sighed, stepping back as the younger man followed his order and got up.   —  ❛ two more sets with this drill and we can call it a day ❜  —  grimace twisted kevin’s features with discontent, but he knew better than to push to hard and end up with an hurt neil, out of the games for the rest of the season.  that was a privilege they both didn’t have. 

he changed the racket to his right hand, rolling his left shoulder and frown a little enraged by the fact that he still couldn’t over-work his dominant hand – that he was still afraid of doing it. but it was useful to have that little bit of surprise in the games, being able to hold the exy racket either way.  —  ❛ you’re fast and your shots are getting stronger each day,  but you still lack precision. we need to work on that before the next game ❜  —

          fingers  flex  as  if  playing  symphony  of  aching  knuckles  and  calloused  palms,  testing  smaller  tendons  in  between.   left  hand  holds  pressure  down  on  affected  right  shoulder,  thumb  forcing  abused  muscle  not  to  flare  up  in  similar  to  what  heat  he  feels  all  over  ――   nerve  wires  under  the  pump,  fire  running  through  veins ...

                                                                     𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱����𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭.

                    ‟     𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻.     ❜      diced  words  for  kevin’s  convenience  while  neil  picks  up  his  racquet  without  bending  too  much;  else,  there  is  fear  that  he’ll  just  collapse  there  and  then  and  be  damned  with  the  consequences.    didn’t  bother  to  look  up  to  kevin  as  he  shifts  his  attention  to  the  hand-chosen  equipment  picked  by  the  exy  legend  himself;   more  so  the  reason  neil  can’t  really  give  up  now.  he  did ,   after  all ,   𝘥𝘪𝘨  𝘩𝘪𝘴  𝘰𝘸𝘯  𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦  𝘵𝘩𝘦  𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵  𝘩𝘦  𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥  𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘢  𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵.  

         now  holding  racquet  with  two  hands,  neil  decides  to  shift  the  topic  away  from  things  they  never  really  talk  upon ...    just  like  how  he  looked  so  much  like  death  incarnate  and  how  he  smelled  of  it  and  kevin  never  noticed  from  the  start  until  shit  happened;   and  now,   they’re  here.                    ‟     𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵, 𝗜 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗱.  𝗔𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗶𝗺  ?     ❜

[jozthen]

(     *     BLACK MIRROR PROMPTS   !    

seasons 1-2.   feel free to change pronouns / titles as needed !

❛  i won’t have to do anything.  ❜

❛  everyone’s laughing at us.  ❜

❛  you don’t know that.  ❜

❛  we can’t not laugh.  ❜

❛  nothing is going to happen.  ❜

❛  you’ve got a phenomenal voice.  ❜

❛  you think i’m being cheesy? all right, i am being cheesy.  ❜

❛  i just want something real to happen. just once.  ❜

❛  have you prepared a speech, is that it?  ❜

❛  we’re so out of our minds with desperation, we don’t know any better.  ❜

❛  show us something real and free and beautiful.  ❜

❛  it’s only so much wonder we can bear.  ❜

❛  fuck you, that’s what it boils down to.  ❜

❛  i’m a serial monogamist. i’m staying faithful to my cornflakes right now.  ❜

❛  you lied.  ❜

❛  not everything that isn’t true is a lie.  ❜

❛  you know when you suspect something, it’s always better when it turns out to be true.  ❜

❛  it’s totally batshit crazy i can even talk to you.  ❜

❛  i shouldn’t have drunk last night. next time, ould you try and stop me?  ❜

❛  sorry, hang on. that’s a very difficult sentence to process.  ❜

❛  there’s no history to you.  ❜

❛  you nearly killed us back there.  ❜

❛  yeah, well, i wasn’t expecting you to be there, was i?  ❜

❛  i’ve just saved your lives.  ❜

❛  a wee “thank you” would be nice.  ❜

❛  i should’ve just run you over.  ❜

❛  you’re not going to win.  ❜

❛  why not be honest?  ❜

❛  i was lashing out. i wasn’t even articulate.  ❜

❛  i notice you keep that pretty quiet.  ❜

❛  so i return to my original question, is that really what this is for?  ❜

❛  prove me wrong. hm? speak.  ❜

❛  i’m here to ask you an important favour.  ❜

❛  look, come on, there is a little bit of a conversational drought happening here.  ❜

❛  not big on conversation.  ❜

❛  practice makes perfect.  ❜

❛  maybe i’ll bore you.  ❜

❛  people want to be noticed. they don’t like to be shut out. it makes them feel invisible.  ❜

❛  people just want to be heard.  ❜

❛  you’re a locked box. i mean, that’s a good thing.  ❜

❛  most people are too easy to read, especially if you know minds.  ❜

❛  using party tricks to pick up girls isn’t knowing minds.  ❜

[jozthen]

one liners  placed  within  canon  timeline,  or  will  vary  depending  from  which  verse  your  muse  stands.   ( no  worries,   we’ll  work  out  the  small  details  like  verse  info,  etc.  right  after  i  dive  in  your  dms  or  raid  your  askbox. )   

                                                                                 *  NO  CAPS  !!