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ranking the best things I have had heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

"Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

(spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

[okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: ""[xxx], "Please remember that the patient is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

[another procedure where the patient couldn't be anaesthetised] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

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An overworked wishing flower

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it was not on wheat...

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Beware y'all...

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i feel like tumblr doesnt know about the pain and suffering that is english tap water,,,, girl there are stalagmites inside me

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musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

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Im gonna be so real can yall actually talk about ways we can support trans women in the UK instead of giving all the attention to fucking JKR. I already know that Harry Poter sucks, I wanna know how to actually HELP people. Something something you have to love the oppressed more than you hate the oppressor

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My car is getting serviced and this auto shop has a shop dog and he's ridiculous. Look at this guy. This is a grown ass man.

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reached the final phase of insanity regarding my fast food job (started viewing all my job observations through the lens of RPG Squidward)

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when it’s really bad again and it’s still way better than it used to be but it’s still really bad. and you do all the right stuff and you try and try and it still really hurts but it’s working but it still hurts and you go see the beautiful majesty of nature and your soul is so close to being at peace but your mind is still in pain. and it’s better but it’s still bad. and the sun is setting.

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Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

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Welcome to silly little Hannibal comic, goodnight