jojos-bizarre-ed-venture

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

I’m just 7lbs (~3kg) off my first GW - let’s do this, I’m so ready and I need this <3

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

I miss being a uni student.

I miss my friends, but I mostly really badly miss the fact that I ruled what I ate.

Miss a meal? That’s fine literally no one would know or care. Only eat cucumber for dinner? Sure my friends just think it’s a snack and I’ll have dinner later.

Now I’m at home again and there’s far too many things I can cave in on, and I have- pretty badly, and I’m so upset with myself.

Sorry for the rant y’all, just wish me luck trying to stay away from the bad shit I don’t need <3

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

👀👀👀

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

and follow http://gqa1.tumblr.com 😎 😎😎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Lifeofagrinder Snap http://piff.me/1ec8116

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

🥺really wanna create a cutesy collection of thinspo for myself🥺

😈and then an edgy frickin cool kid collection of thinspo too😈

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

i thought i was dead

i had a experience today where my body overheated i started to lose focus in my schoolwork my heart started beating so loud and fast and hurting like a mf and i thought “omg this is it this is how i die i am going to die in the middle of art class” then i decided to try to alert someone i tapped my friends thigh my breathing was shaky and loud and my face was red and tried to tell her “get the teacher somethings happening” all that came out was a scrambled mumbled sentence and i thought i was about to faint but she understand and the teacher got her to take me real quick and since she knew i was anorexic she got a proteing bar and made me eat that shit and the second i took a bite everything slowly started to calm down and i have honestly never been more terrified

dont take life for granted as someone with an ed it doesnt matter whether your bmi is high or low your heart can stop at any second

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

Same here, I like hearing from others- their thoughts and feelings and journeys :)

I always feel like i should post more personal things on here but also i dont think i should because i dont know if its what people who follow this blog want to see on their feed-  also talking about myself to 2.3k people is terrifying but still i somewhat wanna  talk more lmaoooo

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

i was starting to doubt myself ngl, but there are others too omg 😭😭

i feel like i don’t have an ed

and i know some people will say “your disorder is making you think that !!” but like..

i don’t cry when i gain weight, i just get disappointed or annoyed but i move on. food scares me but i get over it quickly. i don’t panic when i have to eat something unexpectedly, of course i get nervous and start going through numbers in my head but i don’t have an internal meltdown. i don’t cry when i go over my calorie limit. i don’t immediately try and find a way to burn off everything i ate. i don’t cry from frustration when i’m trying to pick something to eat that will still keep me below my calorie limit. all i eat is unhealthy shit.

from what i’ve seen in the community these are just some things i notice people do because of their ed. i just feel like if i really did have an ed these things would affect me a lot more emotionally but i could be wrong who knows?

anyone else like this or is it just me?

am i faking?

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

@eatingdisorder-memes

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

Family/friends: you’re looking so good!! Just make sure you don’t get … like… an eating disorder haha

Me:

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

small and dainty, skinny and light. reblog this for good luck towards your fight.

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

Getting real about Ana

I’ve been doing this for a while so I’ve decided to share a few things I’m going through. There are both positive and negative points and I don’t want anyone to feel motivated to start because of me This is simply to record this experience.

I used to feel bad about thinspo, manly because I didn’t look like those people and desperately wanted to. Now when I look at it I feel somewhat inspired to go on.

I’m worried about going too far and becoming one those people who sees a picture of a girl who is nothing but bones and actually believes that is healthy and/or acceptable

I can do more with my body without the extra weight holding me down. I run faster, jump higher and feel like I’m stronger than before.

I feel cold. Always. Whenever the temperature drops, I can feel it. My blood pressure is also lower, so sometimes I feel lightheaded and/or nauseous

I can fit into places. I don’t have to dodge people in doorways or on the street, I slip right through without effort.

Mah hands. So pretty, so delicate. Before, people used to comment on my nails, how they’re always nice etc. But I always had chubby fingers. Now people constantly tell me how my hands are beautiful and “elegant”

I can buy anything I want. There’s no more of “will it fit me tho?”. Basically all the clothes look good, which also motivated me to try different styles.

I spent more money on clothes lately because my old ones didn’t fit anymore.

I’m dating more. I used to stay at home and never do anything. Now I go to parties and have been with a few people , so I’m enjoying this a lot.

Overall, how people are nicer to me. Don’t know how, but I’ve noticed how I’m treated differently now that I look good and in shape. People smile more and give me freebies at diners and shops.

Something important keep in mind is:

It’s working because I don’t obsess over it.

I don’t count calories

I don’t avoid eating junk food and

I do not purge. Ever.

But how, then?

I drink A LOT of water. Always have a bottle on me. Always sippin

I eat twice a day. EVERYDAY. The secret? Eat a regular portion of food but with a shitload of salad on it. Avoid anything fried/industrial, and DONT DRINK DURING MEALS. Btw, I’m vegetarian, so no meat.

Exercise like a hoe. But I don’t go to the gym cause I’m poor. So, I walk a lot everyday (about 12km) and also run when I can and do yoga. I mostly use the Nike Training Club app and it’s awesome. My stomach is flat so now the six pack is coming through

Eat once or twice between meals. But again nothing industrial so fruit, grains and if I really crave something I make it myself so I can make sure it’s healthy.

Now, the absolute nail in the coffin: vitamins. Be smart about it, do some research to find the healthiest choice. Also, use your brain and don’t fall into those scams on Instagram. It doesn’t work.

Why the vitamins? Well, my hair looks great, and also my skin. My nails are strong af and I don’t “look sick” or “feel weak” throughout the day.

NO appetite suppressants. They don’t really work and will wreck your body

So, why do you do things differently?

Cause I’m a smart bitch and y’all should be too.

I know I can only push my body so far before it breaks down and takes me with it. I wanna enjoy being skinny, ya know? I wanna live and be pretty and feel good about myself. I wanna look like a model and smile and take pics and go places and meet people. I wanna live.

Also, I’m a biology student so I KNOW the science behind all of it. I know how much it destroys your body.

I’ve studied real corpses and body parts and cells and the whole process of metabolism. I know shit, not because I saw it on a blog and believed it. But because I did actual research and read books on this whole thing.

The catch?

What I do still isn’t healthy. Really. I still get lightheaded and starve myself. I know it’s doing awful things to my body.

And why do I keep doing it?

Cause I’d rather do minimal damage to myself than be completely destructive. That’s all.

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

I’m a mix of Cocain’t and Skelvin honestly

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

Inner me: I recognize that losing the weight won't make me any prettier, I'll literally just weigh less.

My ED: Yeah, but would you rather be skinny and ugly or fat and ugly?

Inner me:

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

It makes me so nervous when people are looking at something on my phone.

I’m scared I’m gonna get a notification from tumblr saying something obvious like ‘I-REALLY-FUCKING-HATE-MYSELF-IM-GONNA-STARVE-FOREVER-99LB-UGW-BINGE-PURGE-69 just reblogged your post’

[jojos-bizarre-ed-venture]

Reblog or comment if your SW=150+

I will follow you