jjackbright

[jjackbright]

some kid gave us an edible before a math midterm and i got a fucking level 5. thats, thats the highest score you could get

[jjackbright]

Dr. Bright, suddenly and frustratedly: Aw, I lost The Game.

Dr. Shaw, confused: What's The Game?

Researcher Talloran, irate: Damn it, Bright! I had a two-million-year streak going! I lost The Game!

Dr. Iceberg: *groans in frustration* I lost The Game.

Dr. Shaw: What's The Game, guys?

Dr. Clef: Jack! Why? I lost The Game.

Dr. Kondraki, walking into the room: Aw, Alto, why'd you have to do that? I lost The Game.

Dr. Clef: Don't blame me, blame Jack! He started it!

Dr. Shaw: Guys, what's The Game?!

Dr. Bright: You don't want to know.

[jjackbright]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[jjackbright]

What Clef do if he knew you were on your period?

[jjackbright]

ADDING ONTO THIS in the keter christmas tale he shows up with a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE and eveyrbody yells "SANTA CLEF!!!!!!!"

Alto Clef IS Santa!

Okay, okay, okay... Follow me on this....

Belly like a bowl full Jelly (Boi be Thiccc)

Rosy cheeks (rosacea from years of alcohol abuse)

Does what ever he can for children (EX: 682 testing logs or just be someone who knows anything about Clef)

Sneaks into your house (Tactical genius. Stealth based combat training.)

Knows when you are sleeping and awake (Global Intelligence)

Is associated with reindeer (If I have to explain this then GTFO /j)

Loves milk and cookies (See bowl full of Jelly)

Jolly old man (Crazy laughing and is old)

A great big bushy beard (I just wanted to quote Hot Fuzz but yeah, big Santa beard)

Disappears in a blink (Reality bending at its finest.)

Cannot be contained (I mean, look, some of these don't really need any explanations.)

Stupid Hat and outfit (See above explanation)

I'm going to see how far this hyper focus takes me. So far, yeah, Clef is Santa. Change my mind.

Its all coming together. Its been there all along.

[jjackbright]

Assignment from Dr. Nikko: Go to your nearest, friendly anomaly and give them a fun gift for New Years! The rules are that the gift must make some form of horribly annoying or loud noise for at least 68 hours. Rule #2 is that Dr. Clef is not to know about this little assignment. If he does learn, you are to push off the nearest coffee mug from it's position on whatever surface or hand it is on/in and flee to an undisclosed area. If he catches you before you are able to flee, produce no less than two rubber duck bath toys from your mouth.

Happy New Year~

[jjackbright]

i burnt my fucking popcorn and now my trash can + microwave is smoking??? what the nfcuk IM IN THE DARE PROGRAM THEY CNAT DO THAT

[jjackbright]

THE WAY MY BRAIN STARTED WORKING AGAIN

SCOUT 1471!!!!! SCOUT 1471!!!!! AGHHHH

(whoever drew that...... Happy Holidays....☺️☺️☺️☺️)

[jjackbright]

Things To Say When A Chaos Insurgent Is In Your Dorm Trying To Convince You To Come Back And Your Husband Walks Into The Room And The Insurgent Says, "Why Is Dr. Bright In Your Dorm?"

"We're married." (basic option, boring)

"I lost a bet."

"I won a bet."

"He lost a bet."

"He won a bet."

"Wait, Dr. Bright? How'd you get in here?" (best said with utter confusion)

(Jack says this in utter confusion) "Dr. Shaw? How'd you get in my dorm?"

"So that's what happened at the party last night."

"Wait a second. Dr. Bright, don't you have a husband? What the actual ████-"

"[make up a name]? [Name]... what happened? Why are you wearing... oh no."

"Why are you in my dorm?" (said to the Insurgent)

"Why are you in our dorm?" (said to the Insurgent)

(Jack says this) "Why are you in his dorm?" (said to the Insurgent)

(Jack says this) "Why are you in our dorm?" (said to the Insurgent)

"Actually, I'm in his dorm." (said to the Insurgent)

(Jack says this) "Actually, he's in my dorm." (said to the Insurgent)

"Wait a second, I thought you were [make up a name]! You- you killed him! How dare you!"

"He's teaching me Klingon."

"He's teaching me French."

"He's teaching me the true meaning of Christmas/Hanukkah/any winter holiday." (bonus points if this happens in midsummer)

"My private life is none of your concern."

(Jack says this) "My private life is none of your concern."

"Why isn't he in my dorm?"

"That's a good question. Hey, Jack, why are you in my dorm?"

"That's a good question. Hey, Jack, why are you in our dorm?"

"Jack, we broke up two years ago. It's over. Just stop trying."

"That's not funny! He died here a year ago on this very day!" (this is best followed up with Jack saying "Eli, stop telling people about my deaths!")

[jjackbright]

rb to have a super gay 2023

[jjackbright]

How The Senior Staff Ships Celebrate The New Year

Brightshaw: Stays up until midnight, then makes jokes like "I haven't eaten since last year!" They don't go and watch the fireworks because Dr. Shaw gets triggered by them due to a bad experience he had with explosive materials in his time at the Chaos Insurgency. They go to the party, but don't get that drunk.

Clefdraki: Goes and gets blackout drunk at the Foundation New Year's Party, then hides from the fireworks (Dr. Clef gets triggered by them as well due to his time in the GOC).

Gearsberg: Also gets drunk at the party, with Iceberg being a master of drunk karaoke and Gears showing no change except for a loss of coordination, some slight hiccups, and a sudden and dramatic upswing in humor.

[jjackbright]

my fav scp scientist and a redhead cvnt

[jjackbright]

ive been meaning ti post something with actual substance for the past 6 days sigh

[jjackbright]

how deers look at the rapidly approaching car going at 70 mph

[jjackbright]

What is with scpblr and pregnancy.

[jjackbright]

this is actually me, by the way

[jjackbright]

You’re a one microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan,

designed and directed by his red right hand.

It’s O5-6 ‘THE WHORE’. Point and laugh everybody