jimmcslims

[jimmcslims]

i need to draw images

[jimmcslims]

The spirits have asked me what I think about the American election, as I reject the existence of "America" (in truth a parasitic growth off of the New Netherlands and Spanish Florida) and elections as an Anarchist ploy to deprive me of my crown I have decided that it would be more productive to explain how William of Wright and his ten Bills failed to secure any of our freedoms.

I take the essential and real rights of man to be 1) the right to exist (immortality, resurrection, rejuvenation) and 2) the freedom to move in cosmic space (and not the supposed rights announced when the bourgeois revolution was declared in 1789).

[jimmcslims]

imagine you get your penis magically stolen but it's not even by a respectable sorcerer it gets stolen by a young witch trying to solve the disappearance of her neighbor's cat in a small village in the Alps

[jimmcslims]

I need someone to curtis my yarvin

[jimmcslims]

Dr. Eggman is literally richer than elon musk

[jimmcslims]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[jimmcslims]

[jimmcslims]

possibly one of the most hilarious exchanges on doctor who 

[jimmcslims]

[jimmcslims]

cracking myself up thinking about the movement towards simplified forms in cave paintings

[jimmcslims]

a fun fact about pope john paul the second is that his birth name was karol józef wojtyła but when he was elected pope he chose to be known as john paul because he was such a devout mclennon shipper

[jimmcslims]

out of the backyard gang baljeet is one of the worst to make into a coffee table. ferb would also be pretty bad. phineas and isabella would be mid because they have those bigass heads but the skinny bodies. might be worse than baljeet and ferb if you're a person who cares about symmetry. buford would objectively make the best coffee table because his silhouette has the most evenly-spaced surface area. now if you wanna talk about pnf characters in general i think pet mode perry would be the best coffee table out of all of them

[jimmcslims]

every single time time i try to check facebook marketplace for furniture i get jumpscared by this (admittedly sick) custom baljeet coffee table

[jimmcslims]

Reblog to meow at prev

[jimmcslims]

my biggest pet peeve wiht the english language is that you don’t have sin/sina

in swedish if u have two people who use the same pronoun u can always tell whos doing what bc its like ‘han tog sin väska’ (he took his[own] bag) and ‘han tog hans väska’ would be that he took the other persons bag

but in english its like if u have 2 ppl w/ the same pronoun:

“she took her bag” whose bag????WHose BAG was it her OWN bag or the other her’s bag??????????????

“he ate his donuts” were the donuts his own???? did he fucking eat someone elses donuts??? YIU DONT KNOW bc english is a bullshit language 

[jimmcslims]

wife found out how much i spend on wandering mystics

[jimmcslims]