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Quick sketch of Mafia Boss! Dazai and ADA Boss! Kunikida Please don’t blame me!! BLAME HER > @nenufair (even though i helped a little)

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BSD rarepair week day 3: pickup lines

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I was thinking about them…

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Mess with them you die

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wait, is…. is taika waititi straight?

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Conditional Immortality of Lobsters

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Steve comes back from his morning run which was pleasant and he discovered a farmer’s market on the way he bought some fresh asparagus that he’s going to make for lunch. He texts this good news to Sharon because no one who actually live with him in his apartment is going to care about his morning.

“Morning,” Steve says to Sam who is sitting on the couch staring at his laptop with a concentration Steve associates with life or death mission planning. “What are you watching?”

“Turtle sex videos,” Sam replies.

Steve sips his coffee. After a moment he says, “Can I ask why?”

Sam doesn’t take his eyes off the screen. “Gotta get better.” Then with a little wrinkle of concentration between his eyebrows, he emits a short grunt that’s somehow horny, weary, and bored at the same time.

“Sounds fun,” Steve says and walks off to the kitchen. Bucky is there, ready the newspaper which he holds with his flesh hand. The metal one is stuck in the freezer. “Morning, Buck.”

“Morning, Steve.”

Steve puts his groceries on the table. “Any reason your arm is in the freezer?”

“Sam makes another goddamn turtle sex noise in my ear, I’m sticking my ice cold hand down his pants.”

“Makes sense,” Steve says, which it doesn’t. “I’m making asparagus and chicken for lunch.”

“I hate asparagus,” Sam shouts from the living room.

“Good, I hope you choke on it,” Bucky shouts back. And then to Steve, “I think we still have the peppers from last night if you want to add that.”

“I’m cooking for me,” Steve says. “Just me. I am the only person in this apartment who deserves food.“

Out in the living room, Sam emits a very disappointed turtle sex noise in response.

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Bucky: I owe you my life.

Sam: No thanks. I've seen it, and I'm not impressed.

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Sam: [loses Bucky in a crowd]

Sam: thank god

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infinity war spoilers

tony: youre helping Them??? after everything?? HE Killed my Parents??!!

t’challa: let us please not start this again

bucky: okay First Of All i already told you that wasnt my fault, SEcond your genius daddy turned one of the most precious metals in the World into a fucking frisbee so MAYBE he Deserved to get Merked, THird-

steve: BUCKY Be Quiet

sam: wait, let him speak. whats third?

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Bucky: Fist me.

Sam: I - what the fuck.

Bucky: (holds out fist for a fist bump)

Sam: Right. That's what you - right, okay - god jesus fucking chri-

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admittedly I don’t normally like modern shakespeare adaptations but once I went to see my cousin in a midsummer night’s dream and it opened with a high schooler saying “I don’t wanna read this play” so he sits down and eats an entire chipotle burrito on stage and then immediately falls asleep and the play begins but instead of the forest the faeries all hang out in a rainforest cafe TM and at one point in the middle of a scene the guy from the beginning just slowly drifts across the back of the stage on a skateboard, staring at all the characters as the events of the play transpire in the form of some sort of chipotle-induced coma lucid dream

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Tumblr Code.

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Thank you for your service

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Thank you for your service

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let's see what tumblrs all about

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