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[jezzberry]

Even If You’re Afraid of the Dark

wow hello i’m alive. i haven’t written anything for b.a.p in ages omg it felt good to finally write this. Title from the song Afraid of the Dark by MKTO

This is a continuation of the Fire and Ice au

“He’s gone,” Junhong says. He’s still young, so his voice wavers, ripples in the silence.

Something in Daehyun’s ears rings, getting louder and louder, until all he can hear is the deafening roar of panic. They knew this would happen. It was only a matter of time, and the time had run out. Now, Youngjae is lying on a stretcher at Daehyun’s feet, a shade of deathly blue, cracks so deep they could be canyons running from a bullet wound in the center of his chest. They reach up his neck, his shoulders, halfway down his arms, over his face, splitting it in five parts. His eyes, mercifully, are closed. The only consolation Daehyun has is that it’s a shot anyone would have died from, and it’s not the fact that Youngjae is made of ice that killed him in the end.

Daehyun runs to the nearest bathroom and vomits until there’s nothing left in his stomach.

.

When Yongguk introduces Daehyun to Himchan, four months later, Daehyun has begun counting the number of people he’s killed. He tallies it in his head during battle and then carves it into the stone of his barracks room, right by the bed. He takes a kind of sick pleasure from waking up in the morning to see the lines, pale against damp gray. They number in the sixties.

“What’s that?” Himchan asks, wandering right into Daehyun’s room, uninvited. “What are you counting? The days you’ve been here?” Except Himchan knows Daehyun’s been here for more than three years now.

“The people I’ve killed.”

“That’s all?”

“Since.”

“Since Youngjae,” Himchan fills in.

Daehyun isn’t surprised that Himchan knows. Himchan has been here for all of two days, of which Daehyun is aware, but he knows everything. Daehyun isn’t sure who told him.

“Since,” Daehyun repeats, an acknowledgement. He still can’t bring himself to say Youngjae’s name, not in the past tense. Sometimes after a fight he’ll go to the infirmary, watching Junhong care for all the dead and dying, looking for Youngjae’s head on the cots and no longer finding it.

“Did Yongguk tell you what I’m here for?”

“No.” Frankly, he doesn’t care, either.

Himchan sighs, sitting on Daehyun’s bed, and Daehyun just barely moves his legs out of the way so they’re not caught underneath. Himchan reaches for the lines, swipes across one with his thumb, as if he’d been hoping it was drawn with chalk and he could erase it along with Daehyun’s sins.

“You know how many I’ve killed?”

Daehyun doesn’t reply.

“No one,” Himchan supplies quietly.

“You’ve been here for only two days,” Daehyun retorts.

Himchan’s eyebrows lift, a tilt to his lips hinting at either amusement or incredulity. “I’ve been here for eight years, Daehyun.”

Daehyun looks at Himchan, then, truly looks at him. He’d known Himchan was a few years older, but he’d never imagined Himchan could have been around for so long. For longer than Yongguk, even. Himchan’s eyes are gentle, lacking the hardness of hatred even the youngest of them has acquired, watching friends and companions dying left and right for a taste of freedom. His face is still youthful and he smiles freely, but if Daehyun looks closely, there’s something in the corner of his eyes that tells Daehyun he isn’t lying. Himchan really has been here for eight years.

“I’ve never seen you.”

“I was on another team. Another base.”

Daehyun hadn’t even known there was more than one base. Himchan breathes deeply, and Daehyun knows he’s about to hear something he doesn’t want to hear.

“They’re all gone. We lost the base. They’re all dead but me.”

Daehyun doesn’t know how to respond. He’s not sure he should really say anything, but he thinks he knows how Himchan feels. He stares at the tallies on his wall.

“Actually,” Himchan says, “I lied. I didn’t kill anyone, until about five days ago. They found our base and attacked at night. There were hundreds of them, maybe thousands. We were dying like pigs in a slaughterhouse, but our leader sent me and a few others up, told us to block all the exits as quickly as possible. Our base is underground, like this one. Then I was supposed to use my ability to fill everything with natural gas, and throw a burning match in. The others who went up with me jumped back in at the end, said they didn’t think they could do it anymore. So I did it. Threw the match in and kaboom! I killed hundreds, probably thousands, in one night. My friends, too. Who knows how many of them could have survived if they’d had the chance to escape.”

Himchan’s voice is soft as he speaks, as if he’s telling a bedtime story, but when Daehyun dares to look at him again, the horror in his eyes is so profound Daehyun feels nausea all over again. Daehyun wishes he’d never carved the tallies into the wall, wishes he’d never made Himchan see them, never taken pride in them. He inhales sharply, steeling his nerves.

And still Himchan smiles when he turns to look at Daehyun, and somehow it is genuine. “Well, that was rather depressing. Sorry to ruin your morning.” He gets off Daehyun’s bed and dusts his pants off of lint only he can see, vigorously, as if he’s dusting off his memories. He probably is, Daehyun thinks.

“What are you here for?” Daehyun finally asks.

“I was sent here to fix you. But also, to work with you,” Himchan responds. He turns to Daehyun with a grin and holds out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Daehyun. I’m Himchan, and I’ll be your partner from now on. I look forward to fighting together.”

Daehyun takes his hand, tentative. He wonders at Himchan’s strength, the great fortitude it takes to be able to smile, still, and move forward, from everything that has happened. Later, he’ll learn that Himchan doesn’t sleep at night, that he always takes the watch instead, above ground, that he’s afraid of the dark, and that he kills mercilessly. But he never stops smiling.

[jezzberry]

Domestic setting where Yuri brings home yet another fucking cat and Otabek is like sIGH.

i am drowning in yoi requests

here you go~~

[jezzberry]

Don’t Ever Say Goodbye

OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS COMPLETED FOR OVER 4 MONTHS RIP I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS

this is 105% a BNHA crossover ha

“Stay back,” Youngjae snarls. In all the years Daehyun has known him, from before they had even entered preschool to now, he has never looked so vicious, so murderous. “Stay back, Daehyun.”

And he’s gone. In the space of a half second, the black fog closes in on itself and disappears without a trace. Daehyun’s hand closes on thin air, where Youngjae’s should have been.

Youngjae is gone. Taken.

Daehyun howls.

Help arrives two minutes too late. They bring in the adults, the stretchers, tape off the area so that other students don’t get in the way of the paramedics and police. Other than Daehyun, no one has sustained any grave injuries. Junhong has a couple of cracked ribs and a sprained ankle. Himchan sits, covered in scrapes and bruises, with one leg tucked underneath him, staring at the ground vacantly, like he thinks it’s all his fault. Yongguk is the one to pick Daehyun up and lay him out on one of the stretchers. As they rush him out of the forest, green and brown blurring past on every side, someone gives him a quick scan and determines him stable, despite his two broken legs, the endless throbbing in his skull, and the fact that he can’t feel the entire right side of his torso.

Daehyun doesn’t recall passing out, but he wakes up to an IV in his arm, bandaged everywhere. He doesn’t feel any pain, however, and can move his toes and fingers without any issue. They must have brought in someone with a healing quirk. He wonders how long he’s been out. He’s in a white room with rows of beds on either side of him—a hospital, without question. All of the beds look rumpled, recently used, but only two are still occupied. He holds his breath and hopes the people near him don’t notice that he has come to, but they know him all too well.

“Daehyun-hyung,” Junhong croaks. “It’s my fault.” Just like Junhong, rushing in head first with an undue apology, not even giving Daehyun a chance to gather his wits, to come to terms with what has happened.

“No. I could have—should have—”

“We’ll get him back,” Himchan interrupts. Daehyun doesn’t have to be a mind reader to know what he’s thinking. It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me. The guilt shines in his eyes brighter than polished obsidian. All the while, Daehyun can see the way his hand shakes, how he curls his fingers into the thin sheets on the mattress to steady himself.

It’s only natural, of course. They’re all just kids. Daehyun is only barely seventeen. They’re all students in a high school that trains future heroes to use their powers for the good of mankind, and none of this should be happening. They shouldn’t have to encounter real villains, thieves, kidnappers, murderers, even. They shouldn’t have to fear for their lives. It was just supposed to be a regular field trip, yet here they were.

“They’ll get him back,” Yongguk reaffirms, striding into the room with a tray of teacups and a teapot. “The teachers are already planning something. They have the information they need. He’ll be back in no time.”

“How soon?” Daehyun can’t help but ask.

Yongguk presses his lips into a tight line. “I heard that Jongup stuck something on one of the guys who invaded. They can track him.”

“Jongup? So he can tell us, then, where the villains went?” Junhong questions. He’s straightened up just a bit, fully aware that he’s found an opportunity. “We can go after them.”

“No, Junhong,” Yongguk snaps quickly. “Leave this to the teachers. They’re gathering all the professional heroes they can. They’re much more powerful than any of us. You’ve all been injured and you’re in no shape to go anywhere, let alone chasing after villains that could kill you in one blow.”

“How long will that take them? Every minute we waste, Youngjae could be killed. If he’s even still alive,” Himchan says softly.

“It’s my fault. I couldn’t grab him in time. I didn’t try hard enough. We have to get him back.”

“If—if they hadn’t gotten me too, I could have done something. I let down my guard. If I just hadn’t gotten caught—”

“Himchan, no. It doesn’t matter who they got. You are our friend. He is our friend. If anything—Youngjae is the one most likely to survive until the heroes can save him. He’s strong. He’s smart. He can explode things, for goodness’ sake. He knows how much they want him on their side, and he knows how to use that knowledge against them. He will hang on until the adults get there.”

Daehyun knows it’s true, what Yongguk is saying. Youngjae has always been so amazingly strong, unwavering, daring. Daehyun’s been chasing after him since they were kids for that very reason—because Youngjae is just so incredible. Yet in the last seconds, the last heartbeats before he’d disappeared, Daehyun had seen the cracks in that fierce glare, the strain, the sheer panic, that had flashed across Youngjae’s fearless face. Youngjae, who sneered and cursed, bit and scratched and never let anyone come close. Youngjae, who had hated Daehyun with a burning passion since they were four, who had bullied him and beat him all because Daehyun was weak. Dauntless, determined, amazing Youngjae. Yet in that heartbeat, Youngjae’s eyes had screamed to Daehyun and Daehyun only. Help me.

“Stay back, Daehyun.”

And some part of Daehyun knows that those words hadn’t been a stupid show of bravado, a final fuck you. Daehyun had caught up with Youngjae, and the knowledge that Daehyun was his equal, in power at least, certainly only made Youngjae hate him more. But they both remember the tight friendship they’d had in the first few years of their life.

Some part of Daehyun knows those words were meant to protect him, to keep him safe from the villains.

“Stay back, Daehyun.”

“Like hell I will,” Daehyun spits.

[jezzberry]

Maybe some kind of soulmate au with yuri and Otabek? ❤️

thank you for the request! I enjoyed this one haha

read here

[jezzberry]

oh man oh man I love the yutabek abo thing you posted on AO3. The little details of alphas giving their omegas something of value before a heat were especially lovely. And Otabek loving old-timey romantic stuff like that kills me. Because Yuri definitely deserves romance. I need more of it! Would you consider writing more of that verse? Please pretty please

thank you thank you~

ask and you shall receive!

(@ the other anon who asked for a continuation: i’m writing a different continuation for you dw~ look forward to it :3)

[jezzberry]

Could you please write more vikturi fluff? I'm not asking too much. Just them kissing and cuddling before sleep, or small talks on a couch ^-^

hahaha this took like what 2 months lmao here you go

@ people who follow me for B.A.P: i aM SORRY PLEASE WAIT A LITTLE LONGER I HAVE LITERALLY 5 WIPS RN

[jezzberry]

[!] B.A.P 2nd Full Album “NOIR”

According to the company, the teaser images that are revealed are hinting B.A.P’s new album “NOIR”’ stories by production of dramatized forms. Also, the music video which will be revealed with a comeback will begin with a mysterious case in which B.A.P has turned into crime agents and will reason the Criminal X, who is in the middle of a crime with rough actions and stories with intensifying tensions came into harmony and have completed a blockbuster leveled movie.

cr: bydaehyuns

[jezzberry]

© huizhenzhennnnn

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Jongup’s butt is Himchan’s favorite topic lol (Trans cr:@mindlater)

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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️mama❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

this is hARAS S MENT

[jezzberry]

hi there! i was the anon who requested the bangdae and i absolutely loved it!! you write so beautifully and i love the whole push and pull dynamic you had going between daehyun and bbang and him wanting to return home as well. i didn't think there were too many feelings/not enough smut at all. i love you

;u; i love you too ahhh;; thank you I’m really glad that you enjoyed it! Once again I’m so sorry it took so long. Thanks for the request and feel free to send more if you feel like it!

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this is harassment u kno wat

@tina8101999 please unfollow me

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NO WTF WHY ARE YOU HERE TOO OH MY GOD

@tina8101999 please unfollow me

[jezzberry]

so many regrets

@tina8101999 please unfollow me

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pl eASE UNSEE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SEEN MAMA DOES NOT APPROVE

@tina8101999 please unfollow me

[jezzberry]

@tina8101999 please unfollow me