jewishsnickets

[jewishsnickets]

In many ways, the lives of the Baudelaire orphans that year is not unlike my own, now that I have concluded my investigation. Like Violet, like Klaus, and like Sunny, I visit certain graves, and often spend my mornings standing on a brae, staring out at the same sea. It is not the whole story, of course, but it is enough. Under the circumstances, it is the best for which you can hope.

it has been seventeen years since the conclusion of the baudelaire investigation. what an unfortunate anniversary ✨🍎 🐍

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Reading and then ? And then? What else

Having a grand time. Vv interesting to hear about his life and the books he read as a kid.

I hope you're well. . Also damn. This man is Bisexual <- unsure if he would use that label for himself but noting all the queer stuff he talks about. Is a nice.

My lil sis is reading the series while she is waiting for stuff to do as an aide in the assistant principals office. What a world we live in

ikr what an incredible book!!!!!! I almost felt intrusive reading it but he did intentionally choose to write all that. after years going hungrily searching for danhan life slivers (magnifying glass up to him HELO R U BI?!?!?) hes like Heres whats going on. and im like ohhhhhhhh .....um, :T im sorry for how i acted in 2016 . Please use whatever label you like i shant apply one. getting what you wanted but its not quite a Victory lol

ooooo hope ur sister enjoys!!

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HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BOOK SERIES OF ALL TIME. i can't do anything except put little things on shirts anymore so. here's a little shirt concept in honor of asoue and my number one little wet cat

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lemony snicket "i will love you until...." quote spotted in the kickstarter quote reading requests of my favoritest specialest evil computer from podcast

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hi asoue friends, associates, etc. if you pick a fundraiser from

Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List by el-shab-hussein

or

mutual aid column from operation olive branch ,

and donate to it & send me an ask with screenshot as proof (if your name's on the receipt please remember to block it out) (if we're mutuals you can also DM), for every additional 70 dollars (USD) accumulated from everyone who sent in proof i will write the a fic for one of the ideas in the appended poll, starting from the highest voted one to the last. (i know some currencies on the gfms aren't in USD but i can do the exchange calculations on my end if you send me the amount)

(to be clearer: that's $70 for the highest voted fic. $140 for the first and second highest voted fics, ..... and so on)

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olaf would completely seriously call himself “the one that got away” in relation to everyone he ever dated. even though they all, without exception, dumped him

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@drearydrearydreary young sunny meeting lemony convo

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if there is one thing….i want to put into this fandom…..its that kit snicket is covered in OTHER vfd tattoos she did herself over her lifetime

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what makes the ‘i will love you’ letter so insane to me is that lemony is answering questions beatrice asked in the break up book, and the questions can be inferred, at least broadly, based on his answers (like when he says “three, myself, kit and jacques” it’s pretty easy to tell she was probably asking him how many kids his parents had, for some reason) and he starts out the answer that soon leads into the main “i will love you” stuff with enough words that you’re able to tell the question he was being asked was “do you/will you (still?) love me?”

so lemony writing this insane thing enumerating how much he loves and will continue to love beatrice in all these different ways is very very obviously done specifically to reassure her in an answer she herself asked while breaking up with him anyway

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EMBARASSING thought that fic was from now. ah well i got to reread as if fresh

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“Who’s Jerome Squalor?” F asked, flipping through the stack of papers B just tossed onto the desk while doing a dramatic whirl.

“Organization sponsor,” B answered promptly, kicking off her glittering, shiny new boots as she climbed onto a cabinet.

“Organization sponsor, or your personal fashion sponsor?” F asked doubtfully.

“Those are not mutually exclusive,” B shrugged. “But the former is what I came to discuss about.”

“So, is he an unaware sponsor, or does he know about the organization?” F asked.

“Unaware,” B confirmed, “and we’re going to make sure the situation stays that way.”

F narrowed his eyes. “First of all, I hope you’re not including me when you said ‘we’ -”

“I am,” B interrupted cheerfully.

F glared at her. “Secondly, what makes you think it’s not going to stay that way? Has this Jerome Squalor been hanging out with the other side?”

“No,” B said, “but he and Jacques had, however, taken quite an interest in each other.”

Something flashed in F’s eyes, so fast that B almost didn’t catch it. “Be that as it may,” F pronounced. “I’m sure a volunteer like Jacques Snicket knows to put the organization first. You must’ve remembered what he’d said when he found out his sister was involved with that Feint lady.”

“People could be rather hypocritical sometimes,” B countered. “For example, once upon a time I used to have a friend who would complain about others using too many literary references in their scripts, but does the same thing when writing his own play.”

“Look, if we’re talking about someone else, I might agree that your concern is valid,” F said. “But I hardly think we need to worry about Jacques Snicket.”

B gave him a knowing look. “I understand it could be hard to accept the fact that Jacques could be so - affected - by someone.”

“Watch yourself,” F said sharply. “You’re treading a dangerous line here.”

“Don’t worry,” B assured him. “I have very good balance.”

F sighed heavily. “Let’s say hypothetically, hypothetically,” he emphasized, “that you are correct. What do you want to do about it? What do you want me to do about it?”

“Well, the obvious plan is of course for each of us to seduce one of them to prevent any information from being passed along,” B said, matter-of-fact.

“No,” F said flatly.

“I’ll take Jerome, since he’s already charmed by me and you know Jacques never really sees me as anything other than a little sister.”

“No.”

“Unless you want Jerome?”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it. I’m saying no to the whole plan.”

“Not even if it’s for the organization?” B asked.

“There are simpler solutions,” F said. “Things less likely to go wrong.”

“If you won’t help me,” B replied. “You know I could always just go to someone else, right? I’m very convincing, and there are people less stubborn than you.”

F raised an eyebrow, “Then why bother asking me at all?”

“Because I’m a good friend,” B said. “You’re welcome.”

F sighed. “You’re meddlesome is what you are.”

B shrugged. “It’s the meddlesome people that keep the world running,” she pointed out.

“You know, I’m a very busy person with a hotel to run.”

“Hire more concierges,” B suggested.

“No budget.”

“If you help me with this, I’ll ensure some of the donation from our generous sponsor goes to the hotel,” B promised.

F was silent for a moment, the said finally. “Fine, I’m in. I guess.”

B grinned, wide and sharp and brilliant. “Excellent! You won’t regret it.”

F wondered if that was true.

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“I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform.” -LS to BB #5

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had a hankering to redraw

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“I wish they would leave,” Kit is telling her, while she finishes zipping up her suitcase. “I tried to tell them there would be a life for them, out in the real world away from here, but it’s difficult for them to see it. Maybe you can help them more than I was able to.”

Olivia doubts that very much. It would certainly be the first time in her life that she has been more successful at anything than Kit Snicket.

The truth is, she can’t figure out why K voluntarily put herself out here for all these months. It is hardly a glamorous post to take on, and it is many hours from the City where all the action is. The sleepy Hinterlands do not suit the version of her that Olivia knew, or at least knew of, when they were young. They were never friends, but like all volunteers of their generation, she has observed her from afar; the headstrong girl with the steel eyes, sharp as a knife, fast as a bullet. No doubt there was a noble reason — the noblest of all, knowing the Snickets.

“Can’t I just fire them?” Olivia asks her, instead of vocalising any of her musings. “If you think they would be better off leaving, can’t I force them into it?”

“I suppose,” Kit sighs. “But that wouldn’t solve their problem. They would only go and find a new cage to lock themselves in. The world has already been too cruel to them once before.”

Olivia frowns. “What do you mean?”

Kit shakes her head, seemingly more at herself than at the question. “You’ll see for yourself when you meet. I shouldn’t cloud your judgement. It’s up to you how you deal with all this from now on.”

She swings the case off the fold-out bed and onto the floor of the caravan. “Besides, before you think about firing them, I think you do need a Carnival act of some kind. If not them, I think you’ll need an alternative. But you can make a living out here however you want, O. It’s for you to decide how you run the place, aside from the gathering and dissemination of information to our associates. I have to admit I’ve been fairly…” she briefly searches for the word. “Useless, actually, on the business side of things. Some of the stall-holders moved out in the last few months because we weren’t getting as many visitors as we used to. If you ask me, that’s mainly because they diverted the train away from here, and people don’t want to drive all this way anymore when there’s a competing Carnival closer to Paltryville now. But some advertising might help, if you’re in mind to try it. It never mattered very much to me, though. In my opinion, as long as our associates know that this is a safe place to come when they need information, and as long as we make sure that we have the information they need, then we’ve done our job properly, regardless of if we still have a popcorn stand.”

“You’re right,” Olivia agrees wholeheartedly. Not that she has any idea how she’ll make any of that happen.

“Having said that,” Kit deliberates. “Of course, it’s up to you.”

Olivia does not say the obvious, which is that they both know it’s not really up to her at all. Caligari Carnival serves one purpose, for those who are in the know and come all this way to seek it out — she does not feel it is up to her to change anything about the way things have been running.

“Before I forget,” Kit says, halfway down the steps. “You might want to raise some funds upfront to get the rollercoaster back up and running. I looked at it myself, but I didn’t have the tools here to fix it, or any staff to assist me. If you can raise some money, you can call in a professional. It will look like a more legitimate operation with one more working attraction.”

Olivia nods dutifully. If Kit says she should, then perhaps she will. “Is there anyone or anything I should watch out for?” she asks, as they walk through the grounds towards the entrance sign. Up ahead, she can see two balls of blazing yellow in the darkness — Kit’s ride out of here has been pre-arranged.

Kit glances at her side-on. “Have you read my notes?”

“Oh yes, yes,” Olivia corrects herself immediately, cursing herself quietly for being so embarrassing. Kit and Jacques have a similar strict countenance when it comes to the organisation’s business. They have never in their lives been in the mood to mess around or take chances with something they sees as important.

“In short,” she says, as if she does not quite believe her. “Our enemies don’t seem to be aware of our outpost here anymore, for the most part. I suspect the knowledge has been lost over the years as a result of their poor organisation and communication. Only two ever came here while I was around — one aware of the nature of my role, who required capturing, and one unaware and easy to redirect with misleading information.”

Capturing. Olivia must have baulked visibly, because Kit takes pity on her and reaches out a hand to touch her shoulder reassuringly.

“I don’t know if you’ll ever see another one of them,” she says gently. “But if it helps, she was acting alone, and had seemingly forgotten almost all of her training. She was very easy to deal with.”

“For you, K.”

“Oh, no. For any one of us,” Kit says generously, though Olivia suspects that she knows this to be untrue. “You could do it. You’ll be alright.”

“I just want to ask you one last thing,” Olivia says, when they’re standing together on the edge of the parking lot. She feels like she’s being abandoned on the edge of the universe. It is so quiet here in the Hinterlands at night, and much colder than she expected. “Why did you choose to come here?”

Olivia suspects she has asked a complicated question, and knows that it would be most unlike a true volunteer to answer a complicated question with a straightforward answer.

“You chose it too.” Kit’s big grey eyes, so much like her younger brother’s, are bright and canny even in the dark. Olivia feels very pressured under the expectant weight of them. “So maybe you already know why.”

Because I just want to be on my own, Olivia thinks. Because the City scares me half to death. Because there’s no one left to trust. Because nothing ever makes sense to me anymore.

“Maybe,” Olivia says uncertainly, knowing full well that they are misunderstanding one another, and that Kit would have had far more noble motivations. She cannot help wondering if Kit knows that they’re saying two completely different things aa but if she does, she doesn’t say.

“Call if you need to,” Kit tells her, as the taxi pulls up. Olivia cannot identify the driver in the dark but she supposes that it might be Jacques. “We will send someone if you need help.”

Olivia accepts the offer with a tight smile. She realises as she waves the taxi away that she would have no idea of the number to dial.