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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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Chemical Imbalance | Reader x Bucky Barnes

I think this is the longest thing I've ever written (aside from my series). It's 9.2k words lol

Disclaimer: I am, shockingly, not a doctor! or a neuroscientist! so when / if you discover a scientific inaccuracy, look the other way.

Warnings: Violence against reader / reader injury, PTSD, medical things, Bucky being very sad

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With his duffel bag slung over one shoulder, Bucky slumped against the wall of the hangar. Fatigue seeped into his every cell, and he could’ve sworn that his newest stab wound was bleeding yet again. Sam, Steve, and Nat joined him, discussing the sticky situation they’d faced while taking down yet another ruthless Hydra holdout. But Bucky tuned them out. He wasn’t interested in rehashing the violence and gore he’d face just hours earlier; he was finally home, and didn’t want to focus on anything but you.

His body was battered and bruised, his muscles throbbing with each breath- but he didn’t care. The deep aches and sharp pains that accompanied each and every mission couldn’t compare to the agony of being away from you. He was utterly empty without you, missing you more and more as the days crept by. Life just wasn’t the same without you around. For Bucky, returning home to you was like being rescued from a sinking ship; he no longer had to fear the dark, cold water when he had you as his life preserver.

FRIDAY’s voice caught you off guard, startling you as she alerted you to Bucky’s long-awaited return. Spending days upon days without Bucky was a cruel and unusual form of torture. When he was away on a mission, everything felt wrong- the bed wasn’t as cozy, your hot showers not nearly as comforting. And the anxiety threatened to eat you alive; it was almost as if you couldn’t breathe until you saw him return in one piece. Being sent on missions without each other always resulted in unchecked anxiety and catastrophic thinking. And since you’d been the one forced to stay home, the dread and worry was all yours.

Without hesitation, you dropped the laundry you’d been folding and hightailed it in the direction of the elevator, not wanting to waste a second. The excitement of seeing Bucky again sent an electric current buzzing through your body, almost as though you’d been touched by a live wire. When you finally arrived downstairs, you spotted Bucky near the end of the hall- and finally exhaled. His shoulders were slumped, and the back of his hair matted with blood, but he was alive- and that’s all that mattered. Without thinking, you broke into a sprint in his direction, desperate to wrap your arms around him as soon as humanly possible.

Just as you reached for Bucky, something knocked the air from your chest. In an instant, your face was pressed against the cold, hard surface of the wall with so much force that you feared your cheekbone might crack. Something cold and metallic pressed firmly against your neck while the tip of a knife danced dangerously over your jugular. With each frantic beat of your heart, the blade grew that much closer to piercing your skin. The edges of your vision grew hazy as Bucky increased the force on your neck, preventing adequate oxygen from getting to your brain.

“B-Bucky,” you rasped, “I can’t- it’s me…”

A rush of warmth spread across your skin as the knife finally dug a few millimeters into your flesh. It carved its way down your neck, dragging through your tissue with startling ease. A trail of scarlet trickled down the blade of the knife, staining Bucky’s skin and dripping onto the stone floor. Fear flashed through you for only an instant- something you’d never felt around Bucky before.

“Please…s-stop”, you struggled against the hold Bucky had on you, but your years of training couldn’t save you from a super soldier. Bucky watched as your eyes began to slowly roll back in your head, and you prepared for this to be the last moment you’d ever see him- but he didn’t look like the Bucky you knew. His eyes were different somehow- darker, void of their familiar warmth.

Before you could succumb to the encroaching darkness, Bucky collapsed. His body turned to dead weight as he crumbled to the floor, his knife skidding across the ground and leaving a bloody trail in its wake. Oxygen rushed into your lungs, but it wasn’t enough to keep you upright. Your knees buckled, leaving you limp and lifeless like an abandoned ragdoll.

Just in the nick of time, Nat swooped in, saving you from crashing to the ground. “Okay- hey, look at me”, she lowered you slowly to the floor and quickly assessed your condition, forcing you to focus regardless your impossibly heavy eyelids. The world around you was hazy and unstable. Voices swirled around you, faces blurred- but one thing kept you focused.

Bucky.

Between greedy inhales, you managed to finally ask, “Did Bucky- is…is he okay?” You let your eyes fall upon Bucky’s still form, “what happened to him?”

It surprised no one that, even though you lay on the floor covered in blood, your only concern was for Bucky. Even after he’d attacked you, held a knife to your throat, and almost suffocated you, you still thought of him first. Nat pressed a piece of clean gauze to your neck, hoping to stem the bleeding. “He’s okay. I shot him up with the sedative from my med bag-” she pulled back the gauze and gave your bloody gash another look, “you should be worried about yourself…” Her gentle hand held pressure to your overflowing knife wound as you stared at Bucky’s unconscious body.

“What the fuck was that about?” Sam shot a look at Steve, but found no explanation. He couldn’t wrap his brain around what he’d just witnessed. The two of them stared down at their friend Bucky, the same man who’d gone on and on about you the entire time they were gone. He spoke about you endlessly, telling the team just how miserable he was without you and how he couldn’t wait to hold you again. Sam and Steve knew how much he loved you, how he put your safety above all else- including his own life. He’d rather die than hurt you- or so they’d thought.

“I’m sure it’s just…” Against Nat’s wishes, you sat up, “It’s probably just, um, excess adrenaline from the mission. I shouldn’t have come up behind him like that- I know better. I probably scared him…he acted on instinct. It’s not his fault.” A cloud of darkness dragged you into a dizzy spell, but you couldn’t let it drag you under- not before you cleared Bucky’s name. “It’s just- it’s okay. Not a big deal.”

But neither Sam, Steve, nor Nat could be convinced of your theory. They communicated without words, exchanging apprehensive looks with one another.

“Alright, um…get her upstairs, Nat. We’re gonna take care of Buck…” Steve motioned for Sam to help him scoop Bucky’s lifeless form from the floor. Together, they shuffled down the hall with the love of your life slung between them, his head lolling as they dragged him along. In your eyes, they didn’t need to take him away somewhere- you wanted Bucky by your side. He was physically and mentally exhausted, relying on his killer instinct to protect him in such a state of fatigue. And when he woke up, you wanted him to see you first. He’d need you to hold his hand and reassure him that it was okay, that you weren’t afraid of him.

Bucky woke with a start, much like he did every night- but he wasn’t in bed next to you. He, instead, found himself slumped in a chair in the briefing room, fighting his way through a sedative-induced fog. Sam and Steve stood just a few feet away, eyeing him with suspicious glances.

“Um…hey, guys,” Bucky blinked a few times, banishing the stupor, “what’s um, what’s going on? Did I fall asleep during a briefing?” He surveyed the empty room, the long table completely void of case files. Something wasn’t right. “What’s the deal? Why are-” a splash of red caught Bucky’s eye, halting his words in his throat. A smattering of dried blood stained his nails and smudged his palm, sending a pang of anxiety ripping through him, “Did I- whose blood is this?”

Sam simply hung his head, declining to speak.

“What do you remember?” Steve tested the waters, hoping he wouldn’t have to spell out what Bucky had done to you. But Bucky remembered almost nothing.

“I remember…coming back from the mission, getting off the jet-” Bucky wracked his brain for anything else, a morsel of a memory- but came up empty “…that’s it”.

Steve joined Sam in hanging his head. He didn’t want to tell his best friend how he’d attacked you, how he’d thrown you against a wall and threatened your life. But as the silent seconds passed, Bucky’s anxiety only multiplied. With each moment that dragged by, millions of increasingly horrible scenarios bred in his brain until he thought he might scream.

“Just tell me what happened,” Bucky begged, “I need to know. Just-”

“You attacked her”, Steve’s voice was cold and hollow. Bucky simply stared at his friend, waiting for context. But anguish overtook him completely as the need for context vanished. Memories violently flooded his psyche, showing him just what he’d done:

The sound of your body crashing into the wall. His metal arm holding bruising pressure against your neck. His knife pressed to your throat- the tip of the blade digging into your skin. Your blood oozing from the wound and dripping down his hand. The breathless way you begged him for mercy. The light leaving your eyes as they disappeared into your skull.

Tears immediately pooled along Bucky’s lash line, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was too distraught, too utterly horrified by what he’d done- what he’d done to you. He’d promised that he’d never hurt you, that he’d never put you in harm’s way. And he’d broken that promise.

He fought, struggled endlessly to get the words out, but couldn’t seem to make himself speak. Steve held up a hand, pausing Bucky’s efforts. “She’s okay- she’s gonna be fine. There’s a knife wound on her neck, and a cut on her cheek from where she hit the wall- but she’s alright.” The vice grip holding Bucky’s words hostage slowly relaxed as Steve assured him that you’d make a full recovery. You were alive, you were going to be absolutely fine- but Bucky couldn’t get past the images that played in his head on an endless loop.

“I don’t- why did I do this?” The sheer panic forced Bucky to his feet, forbidding him to sit any longer. He paced the length of the room, putting both Steve and Sam on edge. They each stiffened their shoulders and prepared for a fight, just in case Bucky’s switch flipped once again.

“We don’t know…” Steve took a cautious step in Bucky’s direction, “we’re hoping it was just excess adrenaline- she thinks she startled you by grabbing you from behind. But we can’t be sure yet.”

“Yeah, Tony wanted you in a holding cell-” Sam chimed in, “he left with Pepper and Morgan, said he didn’t want ‘history repeating itself’…but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. As far as he’s concerned, you’re locked up”.

Bucky raked a hand violently through his hair, “wait, why am I- why didn’t you put me in a cell? I shouldn’t be around people, I-”

“She didn’t want you locked away…” Steve took a few more steps toward Bucky, closing the gap between them. He trusted Bucky, even after everything. With a gentle hand, he stopped his friend’s anxious pacing, “I went and checked on her, told her what Tony said- but she said she’d kick my ass and Sam’s if we put you in a cell. And I didn’t wanna upset her even more, so…”

An involuntary smile made Bucky’s lips twitch upward ever so slightly. Of course you hadn’t wanted him locked up. Even after what he’d done, you still cared about him, still loved him- even though he knew he didn’t deserve it.

“Can I…am I allowed to see her?” Bucky knew the answer to his question, but still needed to ask. The desperation rising in his chest threatened to boil over and drive him crazy if he didn’t at least check on you. He needed to see with his own two eyes that you were, in fact, okay.

Sam and Steve exchanged a long glance. They knew it wasn’t a good idea to allow Bucky to see you after what he’d done, but what if you were right? What if this entire nightmare was simply the unfortunate combination of leftover adrenaline and a surprise hug? And if that were the case, keeping Bucky away from you would do nothing but make both of you completely and utterly miserable.

“Please, guys-” Bucky’s voice shook with need, “I’m so- I need to see her- to see that she’s okay. I need to tell her I’m sorry…I need to tell her I love her. Please. Just let me-”

“Okay, um…” Steve threw a shrug Sam’s way, “what do you think?”

Sam shrugged right back, “I don’t know man… this isn’t really our area of expertise.”

Steve turned back to Bucky and eyed him for a long, quiet moment. He could see the worry, the desperation pooling in his best friend’s eyes. He knew Bucky would never hurt you on purpose.

“You can see her- but we’re coming with you. Sam and I gonna stand right outside the door, deal?”

Bucky agreed in an instant, favoring a supervised visit over no visit at all.

Together, Bucky, Sam, and Steve piled into the elevator. Bucky’s heart pounded in his ears and anxiety twisted his stomach into harsh, uncomfortable knots. He held an internal argument with himself over his decision to visit you. When it came to your safety, Bucky never wanted to take even the smallest risk. He knew logically that being near you was most likely the wrong choice, but his heart strongly contested his head. He never allowed himself to be selfish. He never let himself have anything- he’d barely allowed himself to accept your love. And maybe seeing you after he’d just held a knife to your throat was the selfish option, but just this once, Bucky caved to his needs.

His heart stopped when a streak of red caught his eye. With frantic hands, he swiped at your dried blood that lay lodged in every crevasse of his nails. He picked and picked at his skin until he was sure his own blood would soon pour out, but he didn’t care- he couldn’t visit you with bloody reminders of his attack splattered across his skin. The evidence of what he’d done to you finally flaked away completely just as the elevator doors opened onto the floor you shared with Bucky.

“We’re gonna be right out here. Sam has sedatives in case…” Steve gave Bucky a small nod, “you can go in”. It struck Bucky as odd that he needed to be given permission to enter his own bedroom. He couldn’t believe how messy things had gotten, how severely he’d fucked up. And as he gently knocked on the bedroom door, he swore that he’d make things up to you if you’d let him.

Part of him feared that you wouldn’t want to see him- and if that were the case, he’d understand. It made perfect sense that you’d be scared of Bucky, that you’d want to keep him at a safe distance. But the moment his metal fist made contact with the door, you practically begged him to come in.

Your body slammed into Bucky’s the instant he made it past the threshold. If it weren’t for his quick reflexes, your eagerness to see him would’ve sent you both crashing to the floor. Holding Bucky was like a balm for the soul. Since the moment Nat rushed you upstairs, you’d been aching to see him. You needed to know he was alright, that he wasn’t spiraling into a dark rabbit hole of guilt and self-hatred. You needed him to know that you didn’t blame him- that he was forgiven. You didn’t care that he had a little slip up, that his leftover adrenaline had forced him into defense mode. He was still your Bucky, and you loved him all the same.

Bucky almost couldn’t let himself hug you. To him, you were fragile, you were glass. But as you wriggled your way into his arms, he couldn’t resist. He needed to feel you, to hold you close. He needed to know that you were okay. His heart dropped as he stole glances at the gauze taped to your neck and the matching bandage that adorned your cheek. He hated himself for causing you pain, for scaring you, for making you bleed. All he ever wanted was to make you feel safe. His shaky voice whispered apology after apology against your neck, promising you that he’d never hurt you again.

He was wrong.

Without warning, something sinister crept up his spine. It’s as if he were possessed, his body taken over by the ghost of his past. His eyes darkened as his grip around you grew tighter, tighter, tighter. The strong arms that provided you safety and warmth each night wound around you, restricting your ability to breathe. Your lungs burned, ached for oxygen that you couldn’t grant them.

“H-hey, Buck…I-” you gasped, hoping his emotion had simply gotten the best of him. But it wasn’t his love for you that held you in a vice grip.

A sharp snap suddenly rang out as one of your ribs lost its battle against Bucky’s strength.

Pain eclipsed your every thought as yet another rib snapped. You prayed for release, for oxygen. A small ray of hope broke through the agonizing fog as Bucky’s bruising grip left your body. But only one breath made its way into your chest before his cold vibranium hand wound around your neck. His suffocating hold grew tighter, more vicious, as he shoved you into the nearest wall. Framed photos of the two of you crashed to the floor, sending glass shattering at your feet and embedding itself into your skin.

It was happening again.

And as a fuzzy black border colored the edges of your vision, you gave Bucky one last look. This wasn’t your Bucky. This person was cold. He stood before you with a rigid intensity, his gaze hollow and unflinching. This wasn’t excess adrenaline or self-defense; this was a choice.

As you once again slipped into unconsciousness at the hands of your boyfriend, the bedroom door crashed open. The sound of a struggle accompanied your violent collapse to the ground, Bucky’s hand finally leaving your throat. A ragged, sharp inhale forced itself into your aching chest as the darkness consumed you for the second time that day.

It wasn’t clear why, but Bucky wanted you dead.

A familiar fog left Bucky disoriented. It seemed as if his head had been filled with cotton, muffling the world around him. Everything felt fuzzy, but it only took a moment for the violent flashbacks to snake their way into his consciousness. He remembered visiting you in the bedroom you shared, holding you gently and whispering tender apologies. But the serene moment didn’t last.

He felt the creaking of your bones under his strength. Your ragged breathing. The way your chest struggled to expand beneath his grasp. Your pulse pounding under his fingertips as he crushed your windpipe.

Goosebumps broke out over the surface of his skin as he tried to shake the memories loose. It took everything in him to drag his hand up to his face in an attempt to rub the haze from his eyes- but a sharp metallic clanging sound stopped his arm in its tracks. A vibranium cuff encircled his right wrist, securing him to the concrete wall. He was a prisoner.

Visions of your wide, horrified eyes plagued Bucky. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t silence the voice in his head that called him a monster. An all-encompassing panic set in as he wondered if you were okay, if you were even alive. He struggled to breath, to think.

It was then that he noticed that his cell was too quiet- something was missing. He couldn’t quite put a finger on why the air around him felt so empty, so eerily silent. And then it hit him. The constant whirring of his arm no longer vibrated through the air; the tiny sound that filled his every waking second was gone- as was his arm.

“It’s just a precaution…” Steve stood in the doorway, watching his friend come to terms with the situation. “It wasn’t my idea to take it from you…or to put you in here. It- it’s messed up, I know. I’m sorry.”

It didn’t seem fair to Steve, forcing Bucky into a cold, lonely cell for something he had no control over. But if you ended up dead, he knew Bucky would never forgive himself. And so he’d dragged his friend’s limp body to the holding cell and cuffed him to the wall, apologizing even though he knew Bucky couldn’t hear him. Taking the arm was the hardest part. It was dehumanizing, cruel, undoubtedly wrong to remove the prosthesis Bucky had worked so hard to grow comfortable with.

Steve’s apology, while kind, was unnecessary. Bucky knew it wasn’t Steve who’d put these “precautions” in place- it was Tony.

“I did it again, didn’t I?” A despondent emptiness rendered Bucky’s words nearly inaudible. Part of him hoped that the memory of his vibranium hand crushing your throat was simply a nightmare, an ugly image concocted by his psyche. But Steve’s subtle nod crushed that hope.

“Oh my god, is she-”

“She’s okay. They have her in the med bay now. She’s got two broken ribs, and a lot of bruising around her throat…she’s gonna be alright, though”. Steve took a few more steps into Bucky’s small cell, prompting Bucky to scramble as far away as his cuffs would allow. He met the wall after only two steps, his shoulder pressing into the cold concrete with a bruising intensity.

“Don’t. It’s not safe- I can’t control it”.

But Bucky’s warning did nothing to stop Steve, and he took a seat right next to his friend without fear. No murderous rage eclipsed Bucky’s consciousness, no unbridled violence took control of his body. He was just Bucky. There was no bloodlust, no fury, no homicidal tendencies. Bucky braced himself for a switch to flip, waiting for the telltale cold creeping up his spine - but it never came. He remained cognizant, coherent, in control. Relief eased the tension in Bucky’s shoulders as he realized he wasn’t going to try and kill his best friend. But the respite was short lived.

“I don’t understand what’s going on…” Bucky’s voice came out a hollow whisper, “Why would I hurt her?” He remained slumped against the wall, his head falling against the concrete with a solid thud. You were the one he felt safest with, the person who brought him the most comfort. He was utterly at peace with you around. And yet, the very sight of you had thrown him into a violent, bloody rampage- twice in one day.

“I wish I had better news, but…we have no idea”, Steve sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the wall, his skull making an identical thud. For the hundredth time that day, he thought back over the course of the mission. He wondered what he’d missed, what went wrong in order to trigger the conditional reemergence of the Winter Soldier. And yet again, he found himself at a loss.

“We’re gonna figure it out, though,”, Steve righted his posture and looked Bucky dead in the eye, “I promise you, Buck. We’ve already got everyone working on it. Bruce, Shuri, Dr. Cho- they’re all making calls and working together to find a solution. You’re gonna be okay”.

But Bucky wasn’t worried about being okay. He didn’t care about the uncomfortable cot or the cuffs or even his missing arm- he just wanted to be with you. He wanted to be there for you. He wanted to hold you and take care of you as you healed from the injuries he’d caused. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t even be in the same room as you without wanting to end your life. He knew how hard it was for you to get a good night’s sleep without him in bed next to you, how worried you’d be about him. It seemed like a cruel joke that, somehow, being around Bucky was both better and worse for you, all at the same time.

And as Steve stalked out of the room, hell bent on finding a solution to this hellish problem, Bucky wondered when and if he’d ever get to see you again.

Every passing day left Bucky emptier than the last. He needed you. He’d never gone this long without talking to you, and would rather endure torture at the hands of Hydra than be without you any longer. But it wasn’t up to him. Doctors filtered in and out on the daily, carrying out tests and assessments that concluded with absolutely zero progress.

Visits from the team acted like a band-aid on a bullet wound. Even though he knew it was impossible, he always secretly hoped that it would be you walking through the door- but those hopes were dashed every time. He appreciated the time Steve, Sam, Nat, and Wanda spent sitting with him, bringing him food, and giving him new books- but all he ever wanted was news about you. Steve tried his best to keep things optimistic, telling Bucky that you were a “trooper” and “hanging in there”, but Nat was far more honest.

“She’s miserable. Complete and utter agony,” Nat stole a fry from Bucky’s dinner and dunked it in his ketchup, “All she ever does is ask about you- that is, when she’s not begging me to bring her down here for a secret visit.”

A pang of anxiety ripped through Bucky, “Nat, you can’t. I might-”

“I know.”

Bucky’s shoulders slumped forward and he rested his head in his hands, “would you tell her I love her?”

“I always do, Barnes”, Nat stood from her spot on Bucky’s small cot and made her way toward the door, only stopping when Bucky called out to her.

“And tell her I’m sorry…”

Shuri’s arrival set the building abuzz with a renewed sense of hope; she’d debugged Bucky’s brain once, and she could do it again. Bucky told himself not to expect anything, not to get his hopes up. But managing his optimism grew difficult the moment he saw Shuri. She’d saved him when no one else could, deprogrammed decades of Hydra brainwashing- surely she could get to the bottom of his latest predicament. But a frown dragged her features downward as she analyzed his latest test results.

“So…not looking good, huh?” Bucky manufactured a small smile; even in his time of need, he didn’t want to make Shuri feel bad. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way here just for this, but I really appreciate it. If you can’t-”

“Oh, I can”, Shuri flicked her eyes up to meet Bucky’s, “It’s just going to take a bit of time to figure out what’s going on- I need you to be patient. Can you do that?”

“I’ll do whatever you say. I just…I need to see my girl. As soon as possible”.

“Who knew he was such a romantic?” Shuri leaned in for a one-armed hug from Bucky, much like she did during his days in Wakanda. They’d grown close, almost as though she were his much, much younger, brilliant sister. She knew him well enough to be able to recognize the fear in his eyes. He was scared and confused, and she wanted to fix it. She hated that he was experiencing something so unexpected, something so unsettling- and that he was dealing with it alone. Bucky had actually found someone he loved, someone who loved him back. Shuri knew in her heart that Bucky didn’t deserve yet another dose of suffering, he deserved to be happy.

“I will take care of this, Barnes. I promise”.

A solemn quiet filled the room. The last time Shuri had seen Bucky, he was a newly freed man. Her tireless work had proven successful, and he left Wakanda with a thousand thank you’s and a renewed sense of hope. But the man sitting in front of Shuri now wasn’t the same Bucky who left Wakanda with a smile on his face and a levity in his heart. This Bucky resembled the one who’d come to her for help when he couldn’t trust his own mind. He was a shell of himself, and it broke her heart.

“So, they took your arm from you…” Shuri’s eyes flicked toward Bucky’s left side, “that’s rude. Don’t they know I made that arm? It was a gift- an expensive gift!” She nudged her shoulder against Bucky’s, and he let a tiny smile crack through his downtrodden demeanor. Maybe Shuri couldn’t fix Bucky’s brain right then and there, but at least she could make him laugh.

Days turned into weeks with what felt like no progress, and Bucky swore he was being turned into a lab rat. MRIs, CT scans, vials upon vials of blood, spit tests, urine samples, PET scans, and EEGs left Bucky overwhelmed and afraid. During his time spent in captivity at Hydra, he’d endured decades of non-consensual medical experimentation that saddled him with a healthy distrust of medical personnel. And the myriad of testing just reignited his trauma. His anxiety spiked any time someone in a pair of scrubs or a white coat needed to poke him with a needle or take imaging of his brain.

And he knew that if this were happening to him under any other circumstances, you’d be by his side- you’d hold his hand and help him through. But he was alone. And every night, he suffered by himself. Brutal nightmares reared their ugly heads, forcing him to relive every horrifying instance of medical abuse he’d ever experienced. His screams resounded through the holding cell, bouncing off the cold concrete walls and launching themselves back at Bucky as though he were living in a haunted house. The phenomenon was bone-chilling, and even though he experienced it ever night without fail, he simply couldn’t get used to it.

His new surroundings felt eerily similar to his holding cell under Hydra: cold, claustrophobic, no touched of comfort. Simply waking up in such an environment threw him into a panic attack almost every night. From the moment he opened his eyes, he swore that he was somehow in their clutches once again, being held against his will and punished for escaping.

He missed your gentle hands that comforted him after every nightmare, your soothing voice that promised him he was safe. He desperately needed to wrap his body around yours and rest his head on your chest while you played with his hair. He needed you.

“I feel like an animal in a zoo,” Bucky told Sam one day as he dove into the piece of cake Sam brought him. His eyes flicked to the small mirror on the far side of the room, “don’t they know I can hear them?” Sam had a split second decision to make: gaslight Bucky into believing it was just a normal mirror, or own up to the fact that it was actually two-way glass. He chose the latter.

“I don’t wanna lie, man, so I’ll just be straight with you: they use it to check up on you”. Sam gave the fake mirror a sly glance before turning his attention back to Bucky, “it’s just Shuri, Bruce, and some doctors- well, sometimes Steve goes in there, too. But they’re not trying to spy on you. It’s just for observation”.

“Eh, feels like spying,” Bucky threw his friend a shrug, “if they would’ve told me about it, I’d call it observation. But they’re doing it secretly, so that makes it spying.”

“So it’s only spying if they don’t tell you-”

“Yeah, that’s like the definition of spying,” Bucky laughed, “that’s how it works”.

“Is it still spying if I’m the one who told you? What’s the ruling on that?”

Bucky shook his head as another small laugh bubbled up to the surface. He appreciated Sam’s company. Not being able to spend time with the team left him feeling more isolated than he had when he first joined. He knew that, if this whole ordeal ever ended, he’d be out of the loop yet again. He’d be a stranger. He was being forced into alienation, and had no one to blame but himself.

He took another bite of the cake Sam brought, “Well, clearly none of the geniuses in that room remembered that I’m a super soldier- that I have enhanced senses”. He swiped a smudge of frosting from his lip and sucked it off his finger, “I can hear everything they say”. Sam rolled his eyes. Some of the brightest minds in the world populated the Avengers compound, and somehow none of them took Bucky’s abilities into consideration. He thought they might never solve his problem if they couldn’t remember that Bucky was a super soldier.

Sam was wrong, however. Only two days later, Shuri made a discovery. She cross referenced Bucky’s blood work and his brain scans, and after doing some digging into his last mission, she finally arrived at a diagnosis- and a possible solution.

“What we’re dealing with is an incredibly specific- and unheard of- neurotransmitter disorder brought on by blunt force trauma”, Shuri pulled up imaging of Bucky’s brain, “According to Captain Rogers, you took a nasty blow to the head during your last mission”.

Bucky nodded.

“It seems as though, somehow, your wires got crossed. See, when the brain perceives danger, or enters ‘fight’ mode, the amygdala produces catecholamines.” Shuri stared at Bucky, waiting for him to indicate that he was following. He offered her a small shrug.

“Catecholamines are neurotransmitters- chemicals- like dopamine, epinephrine, and norepinephrine. And even though Hydra had full control of your mind during your Winter Soldier days, these chemical responses to perceived danger were still occurring- they’re innate.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes at Shuri as the gears in his brain struggled to turn, “Okay, right. Yeah.” He was following Shuri’s explanation so far- mostly. It took him a moment and a few quiet repetitions of Shuri’s words until the concepts were cemented in his brain, but Shuri didn’t mind. And when the dots finally connected, Bucky was ready to move on.

“Okay, so…why am I-”

“I’m getting there,” Shuri held up a hand, assuring Bucky that there was a solution to come. “When someone is in love, their hypothalamus usually produces a chemical called oxytocin. I say ‘usually’, because right now, yours isn’t.” Shuri zoomed in on Bucky’s CT scan and pointed to a vague shape that meant absolutely nothing to Bucky.

“Your amygdala is working double shifts. Not only is it producing those ‘fight’ chemicals when you’re on a dangerous mission, it’s also making them when you see your girlfriend. It’s completely taking over the hypothalamus’s job.”

Shuri clocked Bucky’s furrowed brow, and the lost expression he wore. She searched for the right words for a moment before rephrasing, “Your amygdala has fired your hypothalamus. So now, instead of getting a rush of oxytocin, AKA ‘the love drug’, when you see your girlfriend, your amygdala gives you a dose of your ‘fight’ chemicals.”

Bucky’s head fell into his hands. He always feared that the Winter Soldier would return one way or another, and it seemed as though his fear was now his reality. A hopeless abyss ripped open in his brain, and left him wondering if he’d ever see you again, if the last time he hurt you would be the last interaction the two of you would ever have. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t how things were supposed to go. He was supposed to spend the rest of his life by your side, loving you until his heart stopped beating. His hands balled into tight fists that he pressed up against his eyes as the soul-crushing despair pulled him deeper and deeper.

“The Winter Soldier programming is no longer in place,” Shuri took a seat next to Bucky and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Her heart broke for him, the white wolf she’d come to know so well. “The training, however, is still there- and your combative reactions are linked to those ‘fight’ chemicals. So, when your amygdala sends them into your bloodstream, you go after whatever perceived threat is present- and right now, that ‘threat’ is your girl.”

A long moment passed as Bucky processed the information. He didn’t care about the names of his neurotransmitters or the functions of the structures in his brain, he just wanted to see you.

“I can fix this. It’s going to mean more bloodwork, more scans, and probably something I’ve been working on back home. But it is possible. I promise.”

“Do whatever you have to do”.

Bucky sounded empty and emotionally drained, but Shuri could’ve sworn she heard something resembling hope in his voice. With Bucky’s blessing, she left for the lab with a sworn promise to return Bucky back to normal as soon as she possibly could. Bucky knew he was in good hands, knew that Shuri was a certified genius with access to better tech than anyone on the planet- but anxiety still gnawed at the edges of his soul.

He endured more needle punctures and brain scans, all the while worrying about you. He wondered if you were doing alright, if you were sleeping or eating enough. He knew how you tended to hole up in bed when you were upset, and could almost see you watching the Twilight movies on an endless loop. He knew Wanda and Nat were checking in on you, but it wasn’t right. It should’ve been him sitting there with you, watching Edward trying to sacrifice himself to the Volturi. And with every hellish appointment Shuri put him through, the only thing keeping him going was the promise that he’d see you once again.

“It’s not going to hurt-” Shuri paused for a moment, reconsidering her words, “it’s not going to be comfortable, though.” She aligned the last few sensors to the base of Bucky’s skull before taking a step back and appraising her work. “It’s going to feel strange, like someone’s putting their hand inside your skull and poking around-” She clocked Bucky’s horrified expression, “I should really find a better way to describe the sensation…anyway, think of this as brain surgery without the scalpel. It’s going to take a good amount of sessions before the damage is reversed and your neurotransmitters are firing properly again, but I promise it’s going to work.”

“Uh-huh, and when exactly did you come up with this gizmo?”

Shuri rolled her eyes, “relax, Barnes. You’re not the first test subject…” Her hand hovered above a blinking blue button, “I tried it on a baby goat first and it fixed his paralysis- I’ve got a one hundred percent success rate!” With that, Shuri initiated the system.

A deep groan resonated through Bucky’s chest as a strange pressure filled his head. He could’ve sworn that his skull had been cracked open and his brain sliced clean in half. He was sure that a neurosurgeon was elbow deep inside his cranium, pulling and poking at the various structures of his brian. It was, as Shuri had vastly understated, ‘strange’. He wished more than anything to have you there by his side to hold his hand, to keep him calm as his anxiety tried to drown him. But Bucky would’ve undergone this procedure countless times for even the chance to see you again.

A sharp shaking left your hands unsteady as you waited for Shuri. She was late- why was she late? A crushing dread gripped you by the throat. The worst possible scenarios forced their way into your consciousness, and a nagging feeling that something had gone wrong cute you to the core. This was a new treatment- some form of tech that Shuri had whipped up in her lab back home. It was entirely possible that Bucky wasn’t responding well, and if that were the case, his violent outbursts against you would never subside.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Nat assured you, “she’s only six minutes late. Breathe. You know how long medical shit takes.”

You did your best to manufacture a smile, and threw a nod Nat’s way- but it was less than convincing. You knew better than anyone how scared Bucky must’ve been, how much he hated being poked and prodded by doctors. Just imagining him going through all of this alone was enough to make you sick. But he was strong, and you forced yourself to be strong for him.

The door flew open without warning. Updates on Bucky’s condition fell from Shuri’s lips as soon she swept through the door; she didn’t sit down, didn’t even say hello before the excitement got the better of her.

“It went well! We did more bloodwork and another scan- the procedure works,” Shuri almost shouted. “Like I said, it will take several rounds to completely fix the damage, but I think we-” Before she could finish her sentence, you had her wrapped in a bear hug. Your tears dampened her shirt and an almost overwhelming flood of gratitude threatened to knock the two of you to the floor.

“When can I see him? When do we test this out?”

Shuri broke the tearful embrace and placed her hands firmly on your shoulders, “we don’t. We’ll do everyround of the procedure, the scans, the bloodwork– all before we even consider letting him see you again.”

“But what if he doesn’t need every round? What if he’s fine now? What if-”

Nat gave you an almost harsh look, “you know she’s right. It’s too dangerous. He could hurt you again-”

“But what if he doesn’t!” Anguish and anxiety grew into a hard lump in your throat, and it suddenly seemed as though everyone wanted to pretend that you didn’t engage in dangerous behavior as part of your every day job. “I know you’re trying to protect me, but I don’t want this to last any longer than it has to! If we don’t at least try, how will we know if it works?”

“We’ll know. The scans, the bloodwork- they’ll tell us.” Shuri remained calm and collected, even as you fell to pieces in front of her.

“But you said it could take fifteen sessions- what if he’s healed at 8? Or 6? What if he’s back to normal before his brain is completely ‘fixed’?”

“You’ll have to be patient. We’ll do the fifteen sessions like I planned and go from there. I know it’s not ideal, but I need you to trust me”. Shuri gave Nat a quick nod and excused herself as a hurricane of emotion dragged you to the floor. No one seemed to grasp your desperation, your soul-crushing need to be with Bucky. It was almost as if ship after ship passed you by, watching you drown without offering a life preserver. Shuri’s work and dedication was more than appreciated, but she viewed things from a logical, scientific perspective. And you were feeling less than logical.

And after another week of treatments, scans, and bloodwork, an unrelenting agony threatened to force you out of your skin. You were done with the shitty hand you and Bucky had been dealt. And as 2am rolled around, you found yourself digging in Nat’s jacket pocket for her card key to Bucky’s cell. She slept soundly in Bucky’s spot in your bed, having dozed off while the two of you watched an entire season of Ted Lasso. She didn’t even stir as you hastily slipped out the door, fueled by your overwhelming need to see Bucky.

The elevator ride seemed to take almost five times as long as you remembered- or maybe you were just frantic and impatient. It was startling how much you missed him, how deeply he’d become engrained in your life. You never knew you could love someone so deeply or need them as much as you needed Bucky. Even after his attempts on your life, you still wanted to wake up next to him every morning and fall asleep by his side each night. And if he tried to kill you yet again, you wouldn’t fault him. You were choosing to put yourself in harm’s way, to tempt fate. But you weren’t scared. You could never be scared of Bucky.

Nat’s key card gained you entrance to the restricted floor that housed the holding cells. It was empty and quiet, almost eerie. You hated knowing that Bucky was locked up behind one of the large, heavy doors that dotted the off-putting hallway. He deserved better. He deserved warmth and comfort and light. He deserved to be in his own bed. He deserved to be home- with you.

Resting in a hanging organizer was a large file with Steve’s messy handwriting scrawled on the front: ‘J. B. Barnes’. A sharp uptick in the beating of your heart sent a flash of heat flooding your body. After what felt like an eternity, you were only feet away from the love of your life. You reached outward with the access key in your hand before a sharp recoil made you pause.

Suddenly, this felt wrong- almost like an invasion of privacy. What if Bucky didn’t want to see you? What if your presence only added to his stress? Riptides of guilt took hold of you and threatened to drag you under, but you refused to succumb to their weight.

Almost on autopilot, you dragged the key card through the slot and pushed Bucky’s door open.

Under any other circumstances, a visitor at two in the morning would’ve given Bucky a good startle, but he was used to it by now. Doctors and nurses came to check on him seemingly every hour, even in the middle of the night. Just like everything else in his life, he’d lost any and all privacy. He didn’t even bother to look up when his door swung open, and instead kept his eyes on the book Sam had brought him a few days earlier. If they needed to take his blood, they could do so while he read.

But the book fell from his hand when he heard your voice.

“Buck?” you took a few steps into his cell, letting the door fall closed behind you.

Tears instantly welled in your eyes as you got your first glimpse at Bucky in over a month. His beard was a bit scruffy, and you were certain he was dying for a haircut by now as his shaggy locks fell in his eyes. In all the time you’d known him, you’d never seen the circles under his eyes so dark- or maybe he was just extra pale from the lack of sunlight, you weren’t sure. But he looked exhausted.

And even with his unkempt beard and tired eyes, he was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

“Baby-”

Bucky’s heart almost exploded. His first instinct threw him to his feet and sent him flying in your direction, but his second forced him to a screeching halt. He backpedaled until his shoulder crashed into the wall farthest from you, “stop”. Tears glided down Bucky’s cheeks as he watched your expression fall. “I’m sorry, doll, I’m sosorry- you have to go. You can’t be here”, he hated himself for saying the words, for hurting you yet again. He ached to hold you, but he couldn’t let himself be selfish. He couldn’t put you in danger again.

“I- I needed to…to see you”, you struggled to get the words out, “I miss you, Buck”.

Bucky only nodded, unable to fight through the emotion that had him in a chokehold. He wanted to tell you how miserable he’d been, how soul-crushing it was to spend time without you. But he couldn’t speak- he could barely breathe.

But as you took a few more steps in his direction, he panicked. His shoulders protested against the harsh pressure as he pushed himself harder and harder into the concrete wall. He needed to get away from you. He needed to keep his distance.

“Baby, don’t. Please. You can’t. I might-”

A small gasp filled your lungs, “Buck, where’s your arm?”

Bucky let his eyes drift down to his left shoulder for only a second, fearing that a break in his focus would flip his switch. “They um, they took it from me,” he muttered through gritted teeth. As much as he hated the fact that he’d been robbed of his prosthesis all those weeks ago, he was grateful for it now. At least he wouldn’t be able to use it against you, at least you’d maybe have a fighting chance. “That doesn’t matter right now- you have to leave, doll”.

“But, Buck, I just-”

Bucky thought he’d never feel a deeper, more agonizing sadness than he had over the last month. But as he told you to leave time and time again after not seeing you for weeks, he knew he’d been wrong. All he wanted was to be with you again, to hold you and tell you how much he missed you. But he couldn’t.

“I don’t want you to go. But I’m- this isn’t safe. I love you…I don’t want to hurt you again”.

It had been over a month since the last time you heard Bucky say ‘I love you’. And as the words left his lips, all seemed right in the world once again. It felt like you’d been fixed, like whatever hollow, empty void had opened in your chest was finally healed. You knew he was right, that he still posed a considerable risk to your safety. But you couldn’t find it in you to care.

“You won’t hurt me-”

“I already have. And it could happen again.” He forced his eyes closed, willing himself to stay focused on his breathing. If you weren’t going to listen to his pleas for you to leave, all he could do was try and remain in control.

“I don’t care. I’m not scared-”

“But you should be.”

Bucky’s breathing picked up in pace, and a deep pit formed in his stomach. He knew it didn’t matter if he focused on his breathing or whether or not he stayed present- he couldn’t outrun his own mind.

“I’ll never be scared of you, Buck. I trust you. I love you…” You took a few steps in his direction, “I’ll always love you.”

A tardy doctor swiped his key through the slot to Bucky’s observation room, hating that he’d been given the late-night rotation. Watching Bucky read a book at two in the morning simply didn’t seem that important. So what if he was a few minutes late? All he had to do was make a note that Bucky was still alive and well, and he’d be free to go. But his plans changed when he saw you in Bucky’s cell. His hands shook as he reached for his phone and frantically called Steve and Sam, hoping to any deity who’d listen that they’d arrive before Bucky could strangle you.

Sam and Steve burst through the door of the observation room only minutes later, both still clad in their pajamas. They threw a flurry of questions at the doctor who’d called and woken them with the unfortunate news, but he had no answers to offer.

“We gotta get in there, man. Let’s-” Sam tugged on Steve’s arm and made a move for the door, but Steve remained rooted in place.

Steve’s eyes never left the window, his stare never faltering from you and Bucky. “Hang on…” he held a hand up to Sam, “just wait a second”.

“We can’t wait a second- she could be dead in a second!”

But Steve refused to move. All he could do was watch as Bucky ventured in your direction. A small flicker of hope glowed inside him, telling him that maybe Bucky wouldn’t hurt you this time. Maybe everything was going to be okay.

Bucky couldn’t stop himself. He moved slowly in your direction, his heavy footsteps stalking toward you and echoing against the concrete walls. He’d been so strong, so careful since the moment you walked through the door, but his resolve faltered. He couldn’t resist having you so close.

Bucky moved toward you with a slow intensity you’d never seen, and sudden flashbacks of National Geographic documentaries about lions hunting gazelles filled your brain. But you weren’t scared. Your hands remained steady and your breathing calm, and even when Bucky extended a hand toward your face, you refused to flinch.

“We have to get her out- now!” Sam screamed at Steve, “what are you doing?”

“Just wait!”

Bucky’s hand found your cheek, and you couldn’t stop the sigh of relief brought on by his touch. Regardless of the circumstances, his touch brough you a peace you hadn’t felt in weeks. Even if these were to be your last moments, you didn’t regret spending them with Bucky. Part of you expected him to throw you to the ground and snap your neck, but it was Bucky who ended up on the floor.

His knees buckled beneath him, hitting the concrete with a painful intensity. Fierce sobs wracked his body and forced his shoulders forward as he struggled to breath.

“Buck, hey-” you sunk to the floor immediately, and took his face gently in your hands, “What’s going on, baby? What’s wrong?”

But he couldn’t respond. He leaned into you, resting his body against yours for the first time in over a month. He needed to be as close to you as possible. His hand stroked your cheek as gently as he could manage before his fingers ran slowly through your hair. He stared at you, refusing to blink for fear of waking up from such a wonderful dream. He’d never seen anyone or anything so perfect, so heartbreakingly beautiful. And while sobs still rattled his chest, he forced himself to speak.

“I didn’t- I didn’t hurt you. I didn’t lose control…” He wound his arm slowly around you, gently pulling your chest flush to his. A deep inhale filled his lungs, forcing fresh tears to the surface. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed your scent, or how much you smelled like home. His voice was low and soft in your ear, “I didn’t think I’d ever get to see you again. I thought-”

“I wasn’t gonna let that happen”, you pressed a kiss to Bucky’s cheek and tightened your grip around him, “no matter how many people told me to stay away from you”.

Bucky broke the embrace and took your chin gently between his fingers, “You put yourself in danger, sweetheart. This wasn’t a good idea.”

“I think it was a great idea”.

Bucky hated that you almost willfully met your death, but couldn’t stay mad at you. He’d told you time and time again that he’d risk his life for you, and swore he’d keep that promise someday. But you’d risked your life for him. You’d walked headfirst into danger without even batting an eye- just to be with him. And he could never thank you enough.

————————————

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

Text

[19] Despair

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

CW: This chapter is hard stuff. If you don't feel good with reading it, please skip. Warning: emotional roller coaster, descriptions of injuries and accidents.

December 5th 2022 - Atlanta Flashback „Please don't cry, prinţesă. I don't like to see you like that. I love you too much to see you hurt like that." Seb said with a lovable voice - y/n could see sparkles and passion in his eyes.

The biggest possible firework exploded in her stomach, she placed her hand above Sebastian's - that was still on her cheek - and she answered:

„I love you too, honey. You can't even imagine how much."

Realtime Y/N could see tears in the edge of his eyes when she said the words that needed to be said between them for a while.

Yeah their relationship was a roller coaster and it was a fast one. The didn't know each other long but when you realize that the other person is 'the one' you don't want to waste time with each other. There was no blueprint for love.

It felt right for y/n to say the words and in Sebastian's eyes she could tell that he felt the same. They loved each other. And it took a damn accident to confess it.

Couldn't it be in another way?

Sebastian placed his arm next to his abdomen again and she could see the pain in his eyes.

"Are you in pain, honey?" she asked with a concerned voice while she fell down on her chair again - grabbing Sebastian's hand. After hours of holding his cold and lifeless hand he finally squeezed hers back.

"No, I'm fine." he lied.

"I can see that you're lying. Remember? Eyes never lie." she sighed and forced herself to smile at him.

"Okay. I am in pain. But I'm just enjoying every second of us. Didn't want to destroy the moment, you know." he whispered.

"I'm gonna get a doctor. Then he can explain to you what happened and what they did in the surgery. He explained it to me this night already. But I didn't understand half of the words, so I won't be able to tell you." she said and raised her body from the chair. She leaned over him again and finally gave him a kiss on his lips. He deepens the kiss before they broke apart so that he could breath again. Y/N could tell that he was still not breathing properly and it seemed like the deep breaths that he was taking right now hurt him - although he tried to maintain a straight face.

She left the room to look for Dr. Smith and found him in his office. He sat behind a huge desk and typed in his computer - glasses on his nose.

Y/N cleared her throat and Dr. Smith raised his head to see the visitor in his door frame.

"Miss Y/L/N, how can I help you?" he asked with a friendly smile.

"Sebastian... ehm... Mr. Stan is awake. He woke up 10 minutes ago. I wanted to let you know. And he is in pain, although he tries to deny it. I saw it in his eyes." she answered him with a slightly concerned expression on her face.

Dr. Smith grabbed the glasses and placed them on the desk - looks like he only needs them to read on the computer screen.

"I will let the nurse bring him some more painkillers. He will get it through the IV. I'll be around in an hour to check his wound and change the plasters on his side. Also I will explain to him what happened and how his recovery will be going. How are YOU feeling? You look better than an hour ago." he observed her closely.

"Yes, I am much better. I feel relieved that he woke up and that he is fine. According the circumstances." she answered and gave the doc a small smile.

He nodded in response before y/n turned around to head back to Sebastian's room. The doctor followed her closely to gave the nurse the information about the painkillers. Y/N opened Sebastian's door and saw him laying exactly in the same way as she left him.

"I missed you!" he said and pouted.

"You're a dork. I was gone for how long? 5 Minutes?" she laughed. It was the first honest laughter since two days and Sebastian was happy to hear her beautiful voice again.

"At least 6! I thought you left me." his face looked still like he was offended but she knew that he was acting right now. He was indeed a good actor - no news for her as she saw his performances over the last decades.

"I would never ever leave you, Sebastian." she smiled at him while walking around the bed to sit next to him. She could see that he wanted to extend his arm in her direction but as he tried to move his arm again, his face was full of pain.

She reached out her own hand to place it on his shoulder and said: "The nurse should be here soon. Doctor Smith said you will get some painkillers though the IV."

He turned his head to look at her and smiled.

God did she miss that smile. The view of him unconscious in the hospital bed will probably haunt her in her dreams for a long time.

A few seconds later a female nurse entered the room with a syringe in her hand. She smiled at y/n and Sebastian and inserted the liquid of the syringe at the device that combined the three tubes from the syringe-machine. Y/N still didn't understand what that machines does.

"Mr. Stan, this is a strong painkiller. If you feel dizzy or get tired again: this is normal. Don't fight against it, please. Just take your time. Your body needs a lot of rest now." she said with a very calm voice.

"Okay, thank you." Sebastian answered while looking at her with a small smile on his face. Then he turned his head again to look at y/n. She gave his shoulder an encouraging squeeze and said:

"It's okay, honey. If you're tired then just sleep. I'll be still here when you wake up."

"But I don't want to sleep. I want to be with you." he said with a sad face expression.

"As far as I can determine your well-being, you won't run anywhere in the next days. So you'll be forced to be with me." she said, looked around to see if the nurse was already gone - she was - and kissed Sebastian gently on his lips.

He looked like he was already fighting against the urge to close his eyes. His eyelids became heavier with every second.

"Just close your eyes. It's alright." she said and caressed his upper arm.

Sebastian didn't want to, but he was not able to keep his eyes open so he fell asleep right afterwards. Y/N was kind of shocked how fast the painkillers did their job, but she was happy that he wasn't in pain anymore.

She grabbed her phone out of the pocket and decided that she would call Mackie and let him know that Sebastian was awake. To not disturb the sleeping man she went outside in the corridor. She called Mackie, but he didn't answer. It was 8:15 am so she wasn't sure if he was still asleep or already in a meeting with someone from Marvel to see how the accident effected the time schedule.

Y/N Hey, Mackie. Just wanted to let you know that he woke up. He went back to sleep five minutes ago, because he was in a lot of pain and the painkillers made him tired again. But he is fine. Was already able to smile again. But can't even move his arms without pain. Will be a long way 'til he will be able to work again. The doctor will come over later to check his wounds. I hope to have more information for you afterwards.

She locked her phone and saw Dr. Smith coming in her direction. A nurse was following him with some stuff to change bandages and plasters and everything that comes with that. Maybe it was time to check Sebastian's wound. She was sorry that he just fell asleep and that the doctor might wake him up while the examination.

"Miss Y/L/N, how is he doing?" Dr. Smith asked her.

"He was in a lot of pain, but as soon as the nurse gave him the painkillers, he fell asleep again."

"Oh, then I try to be gentle and quiet to not wake him. He needs to rest as much as possible. His body is still recovering from a major surgery and bad injuries."

"Can I go inside with you?" she asked shy. As the doctor and the nurses wanted her to be out of the room earlier, she wasn't sure if she was allowed to be in there while the examination.

"I think that will be okay." he said, opened the door and waited for y/n to go inside.

Sebastian was still sleeping with his head turned towards the window - where y/n was standing earlier.

They entered the room and Dr. Smith and the nurse were standing on the right side next to Seb's bed. Y/N was standing behind it, because she was curious and wanted to know how the wound looked like.

The nurse slowly pushed the hospital gown beside so that they were able to see his bare upper body.

Y/N let out a loud squeak with a high pitched voice when she saw Sebastian's left side. Quickly she put her hands in front of her mouth to not wake him.

It looked terrible. She suddenly realized how bad Sebastian was injured.

Most of his left side was covered in a dark blue bruise. The bruise covered most of the area around his nipple and went down until his hip bone. So almost 80% of the left side of his abdomen was covered in a giant bruise.

On the side of his body she could see a small plaster with a tube coming out of his body.

There was a fucking tube coming right OUT OF HIS BODY. The tube was partly filled with blood and the doctor explained to y/n that it was a drainage that was used to get the blood out of his body that was still in the area around the lung.

The lung still needed to unfold to its normal size so with blood filling that area, it could be a problem. That's why they left the drainage inside of his body. They would release the drainage before Seb was able to go home at the end of the week.

Above the drainage was another small plaster. Underneath it was the wound where the doctor used the hollow needed with the syringe to draw the air from the pleural space.

The nurse peeled off both plasters and y/n could see that Seb's skin around those areas were a mixture of orange from the iodine and blue from the bruise.

The wound itself was very small. Just three stitches. The doctor looked at it in detail and said that everything looked good. They covered it with a new plaster.

The drainage was also fixed with stitches so they checked those wounds as well. They wanted to be sure that there were no infection. But it looked good as well and the nurse covered it with a new plaster.

Sebastian slept through the whole procedure.

Then the doctor checked the syringes at the machine and explained that in one of them was an antibiotic, in the second one was a not so strong, but constant painkiller and the third one included a saline solution to keep his body hydrated.

They would leave the machine attached to the IV on his body for the next one to two days. Depended how fast he recovered from the surgery.

„Everything looks very good. I will come back later when he's awake so that I can explain to him in detail what happened and how the recovery process will look like. I assume he will stay with you?" Dr. Smith asked.

„Yeah, of course!" y/n answered without any hesitation.

„Then the nurses will show you tomorrow how to change the plasters and clean the wounds if necessary. The stitches get out in 14 days, so he will have them for a week at home as well. I will explain the rest to you within the next days. And answer your questions. No need to worry. It's not complicated."

The nurse next to the doctor smiled at her in agreement. Y/N thanked the doctor and they left the room.

Y/N laid down on the couch to maybe get some rest, too. But when she grabbed her phone to scroll through Instagram she saw some messages:

Susan Heard about Sebastian. Damn! Is he fine? Are you with him?

Jennifer Anthony told us that you're in the hospital with Sebastian. Take your time. Shooting is paused anyways for the whole week. Let me know if you or Sebastian need anything.

Unknown number Hello Y/N, this is Joe Russo. I heard you're with Sebastian. Please let us know if you have more information. Say hi to him and speedy recovery.

Mackie I'll be around in 10 minutes. Have a vanilla latte and a bagel with cream cheese and turkey for you. Hope you like it.

Anthony's message was sent 5 minutes ago, so he must be here soon. No time to sleep then.

Y/N sighed and sat up on the couch. The doctor and the nurse said that Sebastian needed rest to recover as soon as possible. So she decided that Anthony and her would go on a little stroll through the hospital so she can update him with the newest information. Although she wanted to be by Sebastian's side when he wakes up again - like she promised.

She left the room after placing a kiss on Seb's forehead and caress over his cheek. She could see Anthony coming down the corridor with a tray with three coffee cups and a large paper bag.

"Good Morning, y/n! Let me see the sleeping beauty!" he screamed in her direction with a smile on his face.

"Hi Anthony. The doctor said we have to let him sleep as much as possible. Let's walk around the hospital and I can update you." she said and gave him also a welcoming smile.

"It's so good to see you smile again, you know." Anthony said with a straighter face before his mood lightened up again.

They went on a walk through the corridors until the reached the cafeteria. They sat down and had their coffees and bagels. Anthony brought something for Sebastian as well, but the coffee would be cold when he wakes up. Maybe he could enjoy the bagel. Y/N wasn't even sure if he was allowed to eat normal food. She didn't know anything yet. But the doctor wanted to explain everything to her within the next few days.

Anthony was shocked when y/n explained to him how the wounds looked like - of course after they finished their breakfast.

„So he needs someone to take care of him after he's been released?" he asked. Y/N knew that Anthony's apartment was right next to Seb's so this would be the cleverest option. So Seb had all of his stuff nearby while living with Anthony.

„I thought about bringing him at my apartment and then I can cook for him and help him with everything. He wasn't even able to lift his arm. I am pretty sure he won't be able to walk or go to the bathroom alone in the beginning." y/n said thoughtful.

„You sure, you wanna do this? I mean it's a lot." Anthony asked carefully.

They both knew that it was the only realistic option. Of course being at Anthony's would be clever because of all of Seb's stuff. But nobody knew when Anthony had to go back to set. And then Seb would be all alone.

„Yeah, I am. I'm gonna ask Jennifer if I can have unpaid days off until Seb is stable enough to live on his own for a few hours a day. That should be fine. I'll be there for him - no matter what." she said and Anthony smiled at her.

„Young Love..." he chuckled and got a hard smack on his upper arm as response.

They decided to go back to Seb's room for the case that he had already wake up.

When they were near his door, they could hear voices out of the room. It was a male voice, but it was not Sebastian's.

Anthony opened the door and saw Dr. Smith standing at the left side of Sebastian's bed. He was holding the hospital gown and Sebastian looked down his abdomen with a shocked expression. His face was very pale again and y/n could see on the monitor that his heart rate was a lot faster than earlier.

„... and we will observe closely how much blood will come out of the drainage and if there is no more coming, we can pull it. After that is done I want to have you here for another two nights and than you can go home." Dr. Smith was explaining Sebastian everything about his injuries and the surgery - like he had promised.

The two men heard the visitors and Dr. Smith turned around to see who was coming into the room. He recognized y/n and Anthony, gave them a welcoming wave with his hand and turned around to Sebastian to continue his explanation.

„You're not allowed to sit straight in the first two weeks. The good thing is: you won't be able do that anyways. I'm not gonna lie to you: the pain of three broken rips and a collapsed lung is immense. You can have pain killers but we won't give you too much. Pain is a natural defense mechanism. If we give you too much, it is possible that you create more damage with a wrong movement in your sleep or so."

„That means he has to suffer?" y/n said shocked. She walked around the bed on her common place and grabbed Sebastian's right hand. Anthony sat on the chair that was next to a little table on the other side of the room.

„No, Miss Y/L/N. But he will still feel it. We don't want him in constant bad pain." Dr. Smith said and raised his hands in front of his body in defense.

„Mr. Stan, you're not allowed to sit straight. While you are here, you're not allowed to walk on your own. Not even to the bathroom. There is a special wheelchair where you can sit back a little to relieve the pressure on your rips. Call the nurses for everything. You're not bothering them." he smiled at Sebastian but he was not smiling back. His face was still shocked. Seemed like he hadn't expected to be hurt that bad.

Y/N squeezed his hand and tried to comfort him, but it didn't work.

„Will it be better when I'm allowed to go home?" he said with a quiet and husky voice. Dr. Smith sighed and y/n knew that Sebastian won't like the answer.

„Maybe a bit. But don't expect to leave the hospital walking. You definitely won't be able to walk alone until the end of the week. And you're still not allowed to sit straight for a longer time. It all depends on how fast you recover. Before we release you, we will let a physical therapist see you and check if your body is strong enough to be released. You were in a good physical condition before the accident. That will help to speed up your recovery. But you need to be patient."

Everybody could hear the warning tremble in the voice of the doctor.

„I will make sure that he won't do anything stupid!" y/n said and smiled at Sebastian who was looking on the blanket - trying to process everything he had heard.

„Good. We'll talk about the rest later. If you have any questions..." he looked at Sebastian and y/n „...just let me know." he said, turned around and left the room.

Anthony was the first one to say something as y/n was watching Seb with a concerned look on her face. Seb was overwhelmed from all the information and bad news.

„Would be good if you had the super soldier healing powers, right?" Anthony chuckled, stood up from his chair and handed the tray with the last coffee and the paper bag with the remaining bagels to y/n.

„You want some breakfast, honey?" y/n asked with a lovable voice and put her hand on Sebastian's shoulder. He shook his head as response - his gaze still on the blanket.

„Hey, man. I know it was a lot, but you're alive. That's all that matters." Anthony said and tried to calm his friend. Seb raised his head to look to Anthony - his face expression full of anger and sadness at the same time.

„Have you heard him? I can't do anything. Nothing. Nada. Niente. I can't even go to the bathroom. There's a fucking tube coming out of my cock because I can't even pee on my own. How the hell can you be so positive?" Seb screamed at Anthony while tears were falling down his cheeks.

He tried to lift his upper body but regretted his decision within a second. He groaned loud and his face was full of pain.

„Shhh, honey. Don't move. Please. Don't hurt yourself." y/n sobbed because she was crying as well. The last hours were also hard for her and she didn't had time for herself to process the happenings.

Anthony looked at both of them with a neutral face expression. He knew that Seb was shocked and frustrated and didn't mean it. Screaming back wouldn't be helping. It would be like throwing alcohol in a burning flame.

Sebastian turned his head to y/n and his mood changed immediately when he saw her crying.

„Please don't cry, prinţesă..." he said but stopped in the middle of the sentence. He remembered their first conversation after he woke up which was blurry in his memories. But now as he used the same words as earlier he remembered it clearly.

Y/N green eyes met his steel-blue ones and she saw sparkles and love in them. He managed to lift his arm and placed his hand on her waist. Then he gave her a warm smile that stopped her tears.

„I am sorry for screaming." his face was now turned to Anthony.

„It's alright, man. I understand." Anthony answered.

„Not it's not okay. It's not your fault. You saved my life because you realized that I was badly injured. I have to thank you but instead I screamed at you. I am sorry. This was a lot to process. I am frustrated and scared. But none of that is your fault, Anthony." he said with pain in his voice.

Anthony nodded and gave Seb a huge smile. Then he added: „I actually just wanted to look if you're finally awake and bring you some coffee and breakfast. I have to go back to the headquarter, we have a meeting with Kevin over there."

„Oh, to see how we continue with the movie?" Seb asked curious and Anthony nodded.

„Say hi to all of them. You can FaceTime me while in the meeting." Seb suggested.

„That is actually a very god idea. I'll do that! See you later, man!" he said and waved at y/n and Seb before he left the room.

Y/N sighed and Sebastian tried to caress his hand over her waist - but the movement hurt him so he simply left his hand on one place.

„I love you, y/n" he whispered.

„I love you, too, Sebastian." she answered smiling.

„I know! You said it first!" he chuckled like a child.

„So you do remember? I wasn't sure. I am happy that you remember. And I like the new nickname" she winked at him.

„Prinţesă?" he asked and she nodded.

„I had many nicknames for my former girlfriends like honey, hun, love and so on. But I've never called my girlfriend prinţesă before - because it needed a special person like you for that." he said and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach.

She leaned down and kissed him passionate. But as she knew he was still struggling with breathing she broke the kiss right afterwards. He was stubborn and she needed to protect him from himself.

„Your girlfriend needs to go home and get some stuff. I rushed here tonight and didn't bring anything. And I need to take a shower and cook something for us for later. Pretty sure the hospital food is aweful. I'll be back later, I promise" y/n said and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

„My girlfriend..." he whispered and smiled like a maniac.

„I need to call my mum anyways and have the meeting with Anthony later. So I'll be okay until you return. But don't stay tooooo long" he added and pouted.

„I won't, honey. I promise. I love you." she said and kissed him.

„I love you, too, prinţesă." he answered after the kiss.

They wanted to scream their love for each other into the world - letting everybody know. But y/n was still scared that her relationship (HELL YES IT WAS A FUCKING LOVE RELATIONSHIP!) with Seb could have negative effects on her job at Marvel.

What both of them didn't knew: Anthony had already explained their situation to the people in charge at Marvel. They were all very understanding (although surprised) and supported y/n in ever possible way so that she could take care of Sebastian as long as she had to.

Before y/n left the room to head home she gave Sebastian his phone from the bedside table, because he wasn't able to reach it without rotate his upper body - something he was not allowed to do. And wouldn't be able to do without blacking out in pain.

~~~

It was already late in the afternoon when she was ready to return to the hospital. She had fallen asleep on her couch after a hot shower and was shocked that she had slept for four hours straight.

After all the stress she's been through the last 24 hours her body needed to rest as well. She grabbed her phone and saw a few unread messages from Sebastian.

Sebastian 11:15 am: Already miss you ♡ 11:55 am: My mum will come over to Atlanta on Friday. She needs to work for the rest of the week but has already booked a flight for Friday afternoon. Let's talk about that later. 2:23 pm: Lunch was aweful. Can you bring me something delicious? 3:52 pm: Where are you? I miss yooouuuuu! 3:53 pm:

Y/N 04:15 pm: Did you really use a picture of yourself to express your emotions?

Sebastian 04:16 pm: Really? That's the only thing you respond to? 😂

Y/N 4:50 pm: I'll be there in 10. 😘

Sebastian 4:50 pm: 😘😘

As she told him she was at the hospital ten minutes later - with three large Tupperware boxes in a bag and a backpack with clothes and other stuff. One of the Tupperware contained the pesto pasta with chicken and the other two a rice-dish she had cooked for them before making her way to the hospital.

She entered Sebastian's room and was greeted by a large smile. He looked better than this morning as his skin was still a bit pale but finally he looked more like a human than a zombie.

„Hey, honey. Brought you dinner" she said while heading around his bed.

His eyes widened in excitement when he saw the bag in y/n hand and managed to lift his right arm in her direction.

Her eyes were shocked by his movement and she exclaimed: „See you're making progress already! This morning you were not really able to lift your arm."

„Well, yeah. But just the right one. I can't even think about moving the left one for an inch." he said sadly.

She gave him a kiss on his head before putting the Tupperware on his bedside table. She wondered how he was able to eat as he can't move his upper body or sit straight and placing the Tupperware on his abdomen sounded like a bad idea, too. Sebastian seemed to have the same thoughts as he said:

„I think you need to help me and feed me..."

She couldn't help herself but hear shame in his voice. But there was no need for shame. It wasn't his fault that he was not able to move at all. It was a fucking accident.

„I'll go and ask the nurses to store the lunch for tomorrow in their fridge and then I re-heat your pasta in the microwave." she smiled at him.

Sebastian nodded and tried to maintain a happy or at least straight face, but she could see in his eyes that he suddenly realized how the next weeks would be and that he was not feeling comfortable. Not because he didn't want y/n to be around him 24/7, but because he didn't want to be a burden for anyone.

Y/N came back with the pasta and Sebastian could see the steam coming out of the container. He licked is upper lip in excitement and turned its head to y/n when she arrived next to his bed. His stomach made a loud growl and y/n laughed. Sebastian started laughing, too, but the pain kicked in very fast and very strong, so he stopped laughing.

He saw the concerned look in y/n's face and whispered a „I'm fine. Just hungry" in her direction.

She fed him very gently and Seb realized that at least eating didn't hurt. Yeah, at least ONE THING.

After dinner y/n managed to push the couch from the end of the room right next to Seb's bed. He was shocked how strong she was and she told him a few stories about her weightlifting workouts.

„So we need to workout with Don together one day!" Seb chuckled.

„I would love, too!" y/n answered with excitement in her voice. She saw Don's Instagram page and couldn't wait to train in his gym.

Seb was yawning while they were watching television together. As y/n had a very long nap in the afternoon she wasn't tired yet, but stood up from the couch and turned to Seb. She cupped his face with both of her hands and gave him a kiss full of love.

„Good Night, honey" she whispered after the kiss and smiled at him.

„Good night, prinţesă. I love you", he answered with the same wide smile and sparkles in his eyes. Thank god no firework in his stomach, because that would have hurt like hell.

„I love you, too. Let me know if you need anything tonight. If you're in pain or something. Don't hesitate to wake me. I'm on duty, Sergeant Barnes." she saluted him what made him laugh for a second before the pain kicked his ass.

~~~

December 6th 2022 - Atlanta The night was without any events although Sebastian woke up to hear y/n whine in her sleep. It seemed like she had a nightmare and he was unable to help her.

All he wanted to do was hug her tight and kiss her temples and forehead to comfort her.

But he was not able to. And wouldn't be in the next weeks. What frustrated him more than he confessed to y/n and the doctor.

The nurse came with breakfast at 7 am - one tray for Sebastian and one for y/n. She stretched her body on the couch and he whined:

„Showing me all the things I can't do? That's not fair!"

She needed a moment to realize what he meant but then she chuckled: „You miss to stretch your body?

Sebastian nodded in response and said: „I miss literally doing anything."

„But you can still do that..." she said and gave him a deep kiss. He managed to lift his right arm to grab her waist and clench into her shirt as he deepened the kiss. Y/n broke the kiss to give him a few breaths.

„Can't wait to have sex with you again" he whispered and his eyes were dark of lust.

„Don't want to be the party pooper, but that will take a while." she said with a sad face.

To lighten the mood she started feeding him breakfast but he insistent to take it from her. So she put the tray with food on his thighs and he ate on his own. Well, half of the food landed on his blanket, but none of them cared. Sebastian was proud to do something on his own. Y/N would take care of the mess later.

After the breakfast the nurse came to change the plasters and wash him. She wanted to show y/n how to do it so that she could practice the next days when the nurse was still around.

Anthony had brought Sebastian some clothes out of his apartment yesterday - during the time y/n was at home- so Seb asked if he could change into some of his own clothes. The nurse agreed but told him that changing into a sweatpants would be painfull as hell. Stubborn as Sebastian was, he wanted to try.

The nurse changed the plasters and it wasn't hard to do at all. While the nurse showed y/n how to do it, Dr. Smith entered the room and looked for Sebastian's drainage. Unfortunately it had to be still inside of his body today, but he would pull it the day after - he promised.

As Sebastian's oxygen saturation had been very good over the last 24h the doc was able to release him from the nasal applicator. „One step after another." y/n thought.

Then it was time to wash him and the nurse used a wash cloth to gently scrub Sebastian's upper body. Although the nurse was really really gentle tears of pain were streaming down Sebastian's cheeks and he whined and whimpered - not able to move or do anything against the pain. His hands clenched the sheets on the bed while he tried to lay without movements.

It broke y/n heart to see him like that and she wanted to take all his pain away. But that wasn't possible.

As even the gentle touches of the wash cloths had hurt him so much Sebastian admitted that it was to early to change into his clothes. He still wasn't able to move his left arm any higher than a few inches and to change into a T-Shirt he would need more movement. So it was impossible today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe on Friday. He was forced to wait for his body to recover and he couldn't do anything to speed it up.

Within the day they had lunch and Anthony and Joe Russo came to visit Sebastian. They talked a lot about the movie and how they would continue filming. Dr. Smith was there as well and explained that he didn't know yet how long it would take for Seb to be able to continue work. For the easier scenes where he didn't have to do much it would take at least four weeks minimum. Running and fighting wasn't possible within the next 3 months.

Everybody in the room was frustrated and Joe decided to talk to Kevin again. The idea was to extend Bucky's injury in the movie so that Sebastian would have more calm scenes. Thankfully they already shot the final battle right in the beginning.

The team was in Atlanta until end of February and then moved on to Cleveland. Bucky would be deleted from all scenes in Cleveland and hopefully Sebastian would be able to travel to Bucharest end of March to shot the abroad mission where Bucky got hurt.

That would mean less screen time for Bucky but not much delays in shooting. They would arrange to shot the scenes with the other actors in the next weeks until Seb was able to do smaller scenes.

Y/N was shocked how many changes had to be done because of an accident like that. And that the whole script would be changed. She always thought a movie was scripted and then just shot like that. She heard about a few changes here and there but never worked on a movie with huge story changes like this one.

In the end of the day y/n took a hot shower in the hospital bathroom and they watched a movie together. She missed cuddling with Sebastian but was sure that they will be able to cuddle soon.

~~~

December 7th 2022 - Atlanta Sebastian looked at Dr. Smith with excitement in his face. The doc was about to pull the drainage out of his body and release him from the bloody tube. The new freedom came with a kick in the ass, because Sebastian didn't knew that pulling a drainage is one of the most painful things in the world. For one second. But for that second you think you die.

He was dizzy because of the shock and the pain and needed to close his eyes. Y/N strolled one of her hands through his hair to comfort him while holding his right hand with the other.

"Holy Shit, that was painful", he exclaimed a minute later.

The nurse asked him if he wants to change into his clothes and he said that he wanted to try. As the drainage was out of his body he was able to move his left arm more than before - although not really much. The nurse explained Sebastian that he shouldn't try to help move the arms or fight against any movement the nurse was doing. That was very important to prevent any damage or big pain.

After two minutes of fight Sebastian finally worn his own shirt and smiled happy. The pain that was caused by the movements from his left arm forgotten. But the harder part was yet to come as he needed to lift his hip in the air while putting on the sweatpants. The nurse said a boxer was not needed as Seb still had a tube coming out of his manhood.

You really lose all your privacy when you're in the hospital.

The nurse carefully started putting on the sweatpants and as the waistband was in the middle of his thighs it was time to lift his hips so he could fully slip into the pants. The first try leaded to a whining Sebastian who was not able to lift his hip at all. The nurse left the room and came with a supporting tool which looked like a belt that she put under his hips and lifted them with her own power. Y/N helped her pulling the sweatpants over the rest of Sebastian's thighs.

It was done. It was painful and it was frustrating like hell, but it was done.

Seb felt so much better immediate and smiled at his girlfriend while proudly saying: "See, I look, feel and smell like a human again!"

Y/N chuckled although her heart was full of pain and her mind was shocked. How the hell should she do this all on her own for the next weeks. She didn't want to hurt him. Was she able to do all that on her own? Without any experience?

She needed to clear her mind, so she excused herself and explained that she wanted to get a coffee for the two of them. Sebastian realized that it was an excuse, but he didn't say anything. He was grateful, that y/n was there for him during this difficult time.

"It was overwhelming this morning, right?" he said as she gave him his cup of coffee. The nurse had cleaned the crumbles of breakfast from his blanket as well so Sebastian tried to avoid spilling coffee on the fresh blanket. His movements with his right arm were a lot smoother than yesterday and didn't cause him pain anymore. He was also able to lift his left arm to place it on his thigh and put it back, but as the IV in his arm bend also hurt when he bent his arm, he tried not to use his left arm as much as possible.

They sipped their coffee in silence while watching TV.

Sebastian's phone rang and after he read the message he broke the silence:

„We haven't talked about my mum coming around on Friday."

„Oh, Right!"

„Is it okay for you that she comes around?" he asked with a concerned voice.

„Of course, honey. It's your mother. I would see my son as well after such an accident. She must be in shock as well. Have you spoken to her again?" y/n answered.

„She is texting me a lot. But I haven't called her since yesterday."

„Sebastian Stan, you call your mum now. She musst worry a lot and you have to comfort her."

Sebastian sighed before he said: „But I'll put it on speaker. She has to know about you anyways."

So they had a very nice conversation with Sebastian's mother. Y/N could hear in her voice that she was happy that Sebastian called and she was also happy as he told her the improvements he already made. Georgeta was also very interested when Sebastian told her about y/n and they switched into Romanian for a few minutes - leaving y/n clueless if that was a good sign or not.

„I can't wait to meet you on Friday, y/n!" Georgeta said in English again.

„Can't wait to meet you too Mrs. Stan." she said smiling.

„Just Call me Georgeta, please. I'm not Mrs. Stan anymore but I'll explain that to you on the weekend."

„Okay, Georgeta"

„Mum, I'm going to hang up now. We're about to watch a movie. See you on Friday. Don't worry. Y/N will take care of me until then." Sebastian said and added a few words in Romanian.

Georgeta answered in Romanian and they hang up afterwards.

~~~

December 8th 2022 - Atlanta It was Thursday and y/n managed to change Sebastian's plasters on her own for the first time. It wasn't hard, so she was happy that she could handle that.

The nurse also watched them carefully when y/n and Sebastian managed to change his tshirt together. After they were done Seb raised his hand in the air and y/n gave him a high five - making all of them laugh.

Sebastian was surprised that his pain was better this morning. His right arm was freely movable and he could even lift his left arm a lot better than yesterday. As there was no infection at the wounds and he ate and drank normally the IV was removed and the machine with the syringes was gone. The heart rate monitor and the monitor for the oxygen saturation were also gone so that he was free from most of the tubes - except one.

He got his painkillers via pills from this morning onwards.

Y/N was happy because these were big steps in the right direction.

The doctor confirmed that Sebastian would be released on Friday - if the physical therapist gave his okay on Friday morning.

„Can't wait to be home." he said to the doctor smiling.

„You know that you're coming to my apartment, right?" y/n chuckled.

„Yeah. It's my second home from now on!" he chuckled as well.

The accident made their relationship rush like a high speed aircraft. Y/N was scared that it was too fast. That they would realize that they were not meant to be and than would be trapped in the same apartment.

She tried to think about something else. She loved him. It felt like they knew each other for years. But the upcoming challenge would show them if their relationship would last. It was exciting and scary at the same time.

Anthony came around this afternoon and was surprised by Seb's improvement. They talked and laughed and - if they were not in a hospital room - it felt like a normal afternoon with friends.

Anthony told y/n a lot of funny stories about the last 8 years working with Sebastian and they just had so much fun and forgot about all the worries for a short period of time.

At Thursday evening they enjoyed a pizza that they had ordered and Sebastian took y/n's hand and kissed it.

„We'll be Home tomorrow!" he exclaimed in a happy scream.

„Oh yeah. Can't wait to sleep in a bed again." y/n whined and stretched her back.

„Would let you sleep with me in the bed but I am afraid I won't be able to move so that you have enough space." he sighed.

„It's okay, honey. One more night. Tomorrow we're together in the same bed again." she smiled at him and caressed over his thigh.

„Finally!" he said while chewing on another piece of pizza.

One more night. Then they were able to leave the hospital behind. Leave all the horrific memories and shocking moments behind. Then they could finally focus on Sebastian's recovery.

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

Text

[18] Concern

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

CW: This chapter is hard stuff. If you don't feel good with reading it, please skip. Warning: panic attacks, emotional roller coaster, descriptions of injuries and accidents.

But I promise: The end is adorable. ♡

December 4th 2022 - Atlanta Anthony's words shocked her and it felt like her body forgot how breathing works. Her heart stopped beating and her lung screamed for oxygen when she finally took a deep breath. Her hand that was holding the phone was trembling and she felt like she would collapse.

„Y/N are you there?" Anthony asked concerned.

„Can I see him?" was the only response y/n was able to give him.

„He is unconscious at the moment because he needed to have surgery, but of course you can see him. I'll send you an Uber. You're not gonna drive on your own right now." Anthony said and y/n could hear him sigh.

Of course he was scared and concerned as well. Seb was one of his best friends and they knew each other for years. Their job was dangerous but thankfully nothing worse than a sprained ankle had happened before. Until last evening.

„Thanks Mackie", y/n whispered and ended the call.

She was still shocked and didn't know what to do. So she tried to focus on the upcoming trip to the hospital. She needed to change her clothes and pack her stuff.

It felt like the world happened in slow motion now when she changed into the outfit from yesterday night and grabbed her phone, a phone charger, her purse and some other stuff to put it into her handbag.

A notification on her phone told her that the Uber driver was waiting outside of her apartment complex so she grabbed her keys and ran out or the apartment.

She needed to see him. As soon as possible.

The drive to the hospital were the longest 30 minutes y/n ever experienced. It seemed like time just decided to not go by anymore. As if there was someone punishing y/n so that she was not able to see Sebastian.

The Uber held right in front of the main entrance of the hospital and she could see Anthony waiting outside - smoking a cigarette.

She didn't knew that he was smoking. Maybe he was just trying to calm his nerves.

The door shut behind her and she wasn't even able to thank the driver. She hurried to Anthony who stub out his cigarette on the floor.

When he saw her pale face and the trembling in her whole body, he pulled her into a hug. Tears were falling down her cheeks and soaked Anthony's shirt. He could hear a snob from his shoulder.

„He's gonna be okay, y/n. Everything is going to be fine." he whispered before letting her go from the hug. She wasn't sure if he just said that to convince her (and maybe himself) that it will be alright or if it was the truth.

„What happened?" she stumbled.

Anthony saw that she was not looking good and pointed on a bench next to the entrance. No need for her to be admitted to the hospital as well.

„No, I want to see him. Can we just see him and then you explain to me what happened?" she said and tears were falling down her cheeks again.

„Sure!" he said and put his palm on her back to support her on the way to the elevators.

„His room is in the second floor" he said, pushed the button in the elevator and y/n could read „2nd floor - Pneumology / Internal Medicine" on the sign next to it.

Y/N's gaze was locked on her feet and her whole body was still trembling. Why did the elevator took so long to arrive at the second floor? Anthony caressed her back to comfort her, but that didn't work very well.

Finally the elevator reached the second floor and with a loud „ding" the door opened. Anthony went ahead and turned right to go into a corridor. Right in front of Room 217 he stopped and turned around to face y/n.

„Don't be scared, it looks worse than it is. I don't need you to collapse in front of me, okay? I couldn't handle that today as well." he sighed and y/n could see tears in the corner of his eyes.

She nodded and Anthony opened the door to Sebastian's room.

Sebastian was laying on the hospital bed - still unconscious. It was dark outside and the light was turned out. Just a shallow light from the moon and the lanterns on the streets lightened the room.

The strange lighting made Sebastian appear even more pale and ill than he actually was.

She couldn't see any wounds or injuries other than a bruise on his left eye. He had a nasal applicator with a breathing tube in his face that helped him to breath. She could see that his chest was raising and lowering in a faster rhythm than usually when he was laying next to her.

Maybe he had trouble breathing and needed support with oxygen through the nasal applicator.

Next to his bed were three different machines. One showed his heart rate and it was connected with a lot of colorful cables to patches all over his upper body. She could see the cables run into different directions under the hospital gown he was wearing.

The second machine showed the oxygen saturation in his blood. It was around 94% but she wasn't sure if that was good or not. The machine was attached to a clip on his left index finger.

She didn't exactly know what the third machine did but it looked like different syringes were placed inside the machine. Each one had like a control panel next to it. Three of the syringe slots were filled and each of them had a tube coming out of it. The three tubes merged halfway on the way to Seb's body in some kind of device. From that device one single tube was attached to him with an IV at his left arm bend.

Anthony was right. It looked bad.

She headed to his bed and Anthony pointed on the chair that was standing right next to Seb's bed. She sat down and carefully touched his lifeless right hand.

It was cold. Not like dead-cold but a lot colder than usual. Tears were falling down her cheeks again as she looked at the man she loved laying in a very miserable form in front of her.

Yep, she loved that man. No denial any longer.

She wanted to say something. Wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay and that she was here by his side. But her mouth was dry and it felt like she had swallowed five cotton balls - what made her unable to speak.

Anthony saw her struggle and started with the explanation of what happened while she carefully draw circles with her thumb on his cold hand.

„Bucky was supposed to do a small jump off a canopy onto the street. John - his stunt double - was there to do the stunt but Seb said he wanted to do it on his own. It was a 2-2,5m jump and we knew that he was able to do it. But, you know. Because of insurance stuff Marvel likes the stunt guys to do even the easiest things."

He sighed and y/n had an idea what was about to come next.

„But stubborn as he is sometimes he wanted to do this on his own. To proof himself that he was still able to do it - even with 40."

Anthony decided that he didn't want to stand anymore so he grabbed another chair and placed it at the end of the bed to sit down.

„You need to know that in the street set there were some kind of bollards that should prevent people from park right before the shop. The shop with the canopy. Bucky should simply jump off the canopy and ran after a bad guy."

He paused and looked into her watery eyes. It seems like he was still in shock and explaining the happenings for her would take him back to the situation a few hours ago.

„So Seb jumped off the canopy and I don't know exactly what happened but he landed correctly and then stumbled and fell with his stomach on one of the bollards."

Y/N eyes widened in shock. Did he had internal bleedings? Was it that bad?

„He was screaming in pain and wasn't able to breath properly so we called an ambulance. He was conscious all the time and mumbled your name and that we should call you, but we thought he was just in shock. He said something about dinner and we had to let you know, but none of us really knew what he was talking about.

When the medics came and gave him pain killers he seemed to be even more confused and then he became unconscious because of the medicine."

Y/N was still looking at Anthony and then turned her head to face the sleeping Seb. She squeezed his hand and a quiet snob filled the room.

Before she could say a word Anthony added „I will never forget his scream in pain. Never. This was the worst thing I've heard in my life." and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Y/N wanted to hug him and comfort him as well. It must have been indescribable hard so see his best friend getting hurt. But her body was not reacting - she was still in complete shock. So was her mouth and she had an internal fight ongoing to make her body say or do something.

„So what is wrong with him? What are his injuries? What was the surgery about?" y/n was finally able to ask all the questions that were stuck in her throat since they entered the room.

Anthony jumped of his chair, said: „let me get a doctor so that he can explain it to you properly!" and ran out of the room.

Y/N looked at Seb and was still not able to say something. It felt so unreal.

He was laying in the bed sleeping and it looks like she just needed to shake him a bit so that he wakes up. She really wanted him to wake up. To know that he was okay.

She carefully caressed with her fingertips over his right forearm. Very gentle because she was scared to hurt him. He looked like he was made out of porcelain and she didn't want to break him. More than he was already broken.

Anthony re-entered the room - followed by a man in a white coat.

„Hi Miss Y/L/N? My name is Dr. Smith and I did the surgery of Mr. Stan. You wanted to know what happened?"

She was only able to nod. Her heartbeat was very fast and she felt dizzy out of nowhere.

„Mr. Stan hat a trauma on the left side of his abdomen which led to three broken rips. We call that multiple adjacent rip fractures. That is very painful but would normally heal on its own. The problem was that one of the bone-fracture-parts punctured his lung."

He gave her a few seconds to understand what he explained to her. It sounded bad, very bad. So she was scared and concerned even more.

„We needed to do surgery because his lung was collapsed. It's called a pneumothorax. For your explanation: There are two layers of protective tissue called the visceral and parietal pleura that surround the lung. The space between the two layers is called the pleural cavity or pleural space. When air collects in the pleural space - for example after an injury like Mr. Stan had - it is called a pneumothorax. With a pneumothorax you're not able to breath because the lung is not able to unfold itself like it is supposed to do to keep your body working. That also means the organs don't get enough oxygen which can lead to multiple organ failure and then to death."

Y/N tried to process what he had said but she didn't understand half of the words. So she just nodded as a sign that the doctor should continue.

„We needed to get the air out of the pleural space so we inserted a hollow needle and draw the excess air with a syringe. As we did that his lung was able to unfold properly and he was able to breath again."

„That sounds like his life was really in danger" y/n whispered in a very quiet voice but the doctor had heard her. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

„I'm not gonna lie to you. It was a dangerous situation. But because he was admitted here so fast we were able to do the surgery in time. There will be no lasting damages. But it takes time to heal. Broken rips are very painful and the lung needs time to recover as well. That's why we support him with oxygen through the nasal applicator."

He could have died. Sebastian could have died.

This was the only thing she heard from the doctor's speech and the tears - that had stopped while the doctor explained everything - started to fall again. She was trembling even more and it was heartbreaking to watch.

The doctor came to her side and placed his hand on her shoulder before he said:

„He's going to be fine. The oxygen saturation is good after the surgery and the rips will heal on its own. You don't need to worry. Your boyfriend will be alright soon."

Her boyfriend. Did he just say that?

Anthony heard it too but decided that it wasn't the time to do a joke. Although he really wanted to lighten y/n's mood.

„When will he wake up?" y/n asked the doctor and took Sebastian's hand in hers. Hoping that he would suddenly squeeze it like in a Hollywood movie.

„He went out of surgery an hour ago. Normally it takes some time to get the sedatives out of his system. I think he will wake up some-when during the night. But he will be in a lot of pain so if we give him more painkillers he will pretty sure sleep again. These are strong painkillers." the doctor answered.

„And how long does he need to be in the hospital?" Anthony asked. Seemed like he hadn't ask that before.

„I think we can release him at the end of the week. But he will still need someone to take care of him. His movements will be limited so that there won't be any further damage in the abdomen." the doctor explained to Anthony who was now standing on the opposite side of Sebastian's bed than y/n.

„Thank you for the explanation doctor. I want to stay with him, is that okay?" y/n asked and finally the tears had stopped.

„Of course. You can sleep on the couch over there. I will let a nurse bring you a blanket. Let us know if you need anything. You look very pale and you're pretty sure in a shock. Please let us know when you're not feeling good, miss Y/L/N." the doctor said and raised an eyebrow.

„I'll be fine. But thank you, Dr. Smith"

„Yes, thanks doc!" Anthony said and the doctor nodded before he left the room.

Y/N stood up and leaned over Sebastian to give him a kiss on his forehead. She didn't care about Anthony. She wanted to let Sebastian know that she was here.

Anthony smiled at her and said: „If it's okay for you I will head home now. I am here for a few hours. Sorry for calling you so late. I wanted to wait for the surgery to end so that you could immediately see him. I am pretty sure that will help him wake up earlier."

„Thank you for calling me Anthony. That means a lot to me." y/n answered and went around the bed to give Anthony a hug.

„I know he means a lot to you as well. And you mean a lot to him. I support you. You're cute." he chuckled and managed to see a smile from y/n as well. The first smile since she got the call.

Right after the hug Anthony left the hospital room to head home. He wanted to talk to the Russos and maybe Kevin Feige tomorrow to see how Sebastian's accident would effect the time schedule of the movie.

But at the moment the most important thing was for Seb to get better soon.

Y/N stepped around the bed one more time to fall down on the chair again. But before she did so, she pushed the chair right next to Sebastian and leaned her head on his right shoulder while her left hand was intertwined with his right one.

„Hey honey." she said and turned her head to place a kiss on his shoulder.

„You really scared me. I hope you wake up soon so that I can hear your beautiful voice again. The doctor said you will be fine. I hope he's right. It kills me to see you laying here with all this stuff attached to your body."

The tears were falling again and started to soak the fabric of Sebastian's hospital gown. But she didn't care. She wasn't able to control her emotions anymore as the last six hours were like a roller coaster for her. Excitement, anger, concern, fear. Too many emotions for that short period of time.

„I really wish you were awake" she mumbled in the wet fabric.

She waited for him to say something because it was the right timing to do so. Or to squeeze her hand. Or to turn his head to face her and place a kiss on her head. Like it would be in a romantic movie.

But that didn't happen.

Sebastian was still unconscious and the only sound that filled the room was the constant beeping of the heart rate monitor - showing y/n that her loved one was still alive.

She must have fallen asleep in that position because it was 01:30 am in the morning when she looked at her phone again.

It showed a message from an unknown number:

„Please let me know when he wakes up. I'll be back in the morning and bring you some breakfast and coffee. Let me know if you need anything else. Anthony"

He must have copied her number out of Sebastian's phone because she remembered he called her from Seb's phone yesterday. After the accident.

She stretched her hurting back and neck and decided to switch to the couch. Out of nowhere a blanket had appeared on the couch - it seemed like a nurse was in the room while she was asleep.

She took off her shoes and laid down on the couch. It didn't need much time as exhaustion hit her and she fell asleep again.

~~~

The sun was starting to raise but that wasn't the reason why y/n woke up the next morning.

Suddenly the constant beeping from the heart rate monitor changed into a faster pace that activated some warning beeping as well.

Her eyes shut open and she sat up on the couch - turning towards Sebastian immediately.

Her brain needed a second to realize what the terrific sound meant, but as realization hit she jumped off the couch and ran to Seb's bed.

His head was turned towards her and she could see his eyes flicker below still closes eyelids. His head was trembling and his right hand was clenched in a fist.

Before she was even able to push the panic button on the bed two nurses and Dr. Smith ran into the room.

„Miss Y/L/N you need to wait outside!" one of the nurses said and gave her a hard push out of the way. She didn't want to wait outside but she needed them to do their work and save Sebastian.

The door was closed behind her so she couldn't hear or see what was going on. She thought about calling Anthony but he was exhausted at well and he needed his well-deserved sleep.

So the only thing she could do was wait and do nothing. She felt helpless.

As time went by and the doctors were still in Sebastian's room she felt a pressure on her chest - making it harder to breath with every second.

One of the other nurses walked by and realized that y/n was pale and clung with her hands on the railing that was attached to the wall. She had major struggles to breath and felt dizzy.

The male nurse stopped in front of her and asked: „Are you okay?"

Y/N wasn't able to answer so she shook her head as response.

The nurse realized what happened and said in a calm voice: „You're having a panic attack. Look at me. Look me in the eyes."

She did as she was told.

„Try to copy me. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth"

He did some exaggerated breaths and y/n tried to follow him. Her hands left the railing and held his. She was trembling and the male nurse - his name was Simon - hold her tight to prevent her from collapsing on the ground.

She didn't know how long they were just standing there and took breath after breath together but she felt that the pressure on her chest disappeared with ever molecule of oxygen that entered her body.

Suddenly it was all gone and she didn't feel dizzy anymore.

„Thank you so much." she whispered at Simon - now realizing that Dr. Smith was standing behind the male nurse.

„Panic attack?" he asked and y/n nodded.

„No need for that. He's fine, Miss Y/L/N."

„But the heart rate monitor didn't sound like he was fine", y/n said scared and when she felt the pressure coming back again she forced herself to take three deep breaths.

„This might sound crazy, but he was having a bad dream. His body reacted to that. But that is actually a good sign. That means that his body is ready to wake up. When you're under sedatives you don't dream. The dreams will come when the medicine is out of the system and your body sleeps in a normal way. We see that often - although his body's reaction was intense." Dr. Smith explained.

„Can I go back inside?" she asked quiet.

„Of course. I expect him to wake up within the next two hours. And I am pretty sure he will be happy to see you by his side." the doctor smiled at her and stepped aside so that y/n could enter the room again.

She could see that Sebastian's body was shifted a little so that he was not laying straight on his back anymore but more turned on his right side.

Y/N went around the bed and grabbed the chair again to place it next to Seb. The doctor and nurses must have put it away to have enough space to examine him.

His breath was still faster than usual but he looked better and not as pale as before. The heart rate monitor showed a normal heartbeat again. She saw that there was sweat on his forehead.

She grabbed his hand again and gave him a small squeeze. In reaction to her touch he turned his head on the other side - away from her. It looked like he was still dreaming.

„Hey honey, I'm here. It's okay." she whispered, leaned over him and kissed his sweaty forehead. She didn't care. She wanted him to know that she was there for him. That they would go through this nightmare together.

His head turned back in her direction and she could see his eyes open a little.

Was he awake? Or was it still the dream?

But then his eyes opened more and she could see that his pupils reacted to the light.

He was awake.

There was a very confused look in his eyes and he slowly turned his head around to see where the hell he was.

When he tried to move his upper body to have a better look around he groaned in pain and immediately put his left hand on his left abdomen. Which made him groan once again.

He seemed very confused while he looked at the IV on his arm and the cables on his chest. His right hand moved to his face and he touched the nasal applicator while his left one touched a bigger tube that was coming out of his gown. Y/N hadn't seen it before but it was attached to a bag that was filled with blood. It must be a wound drainage, she thought.

She grabbed his right hand with one of hers and tried to comfort him so that he didn't pull on any of the tubes or cables and would hurt himself even more.

„Shhh, honey. It's alright. Everything is okay. You're in the hospital."

His blue eyes finally met her green ones but there was still a lot of confusion in it. At least he gave up to move his upper body so he wasn't in bad pain anymore.

„Hospital?" he asked with a husky voice.

„Yeah, you had an accident on set yesterday. You had to have surgery, but you'll be fine." y/n answered and gave him another kiss on the forehead before she leaned back and locked her eyes with his again.

She saw how the confused looked changed into a knowing-one before he said:

„I'm so sorry I missed dinner. I told Anthony to contact you!" he said with despair in his voice.

„Shhh. Honey, it's okay. It doesn't matter right now. I am just so happy that you're fine and awake. I was so scared." y/n answered and tears were falling down her cheeks again.

Sebastian raised his right arm to place it on her cheek. By his furrowed eyebrows and the pinched eyes she could tell that it must have hurt him to move the arm like that.

But he did it anyway and gently caressed his thump over her cheek to catch the tears.

„Please don't cry, prinţesă. I don't like to see you like that. I love you too much to see you hurt like that." Seb said with a lovable voice - y/n could see sparkles and passion in his eyes.

The biggest possible firework exploded in her stomach, she placed her hand above Sebastian's - that was still on her cheek - and she answered:

„I love you too, honey. You can't even imagine how much."

_____

[AN]: Love is in the air! Finally ladies and gentlemen. Finally the two lovebirds realized that they are in love with each other.

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

Text

I. Welcome to the Avengers Compound

→ "I didn't have a choice!" - Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

Beginning of March 2024 – Brooklyn, New York The sun was about to set as Lynn was finally done with her 24-hour-shift at the hospital. On a regular day she would have been out of the hospital three hours ago, but she was stuck in a complicated surgery that included the amputation of a leg above the knee. The poor man was hit by a car this morning and his shin, fibula and ankle bones were fractured so complicated, that they didn't have a choice but amputate the leg. And when you're in the middle of a surgery you don't just walk away because your shift was over. You finish that surgery and end your shift afterwards.

Lynn decided to check on the man first thing when she would start her next shift after lunch tomorrow. She was always curious how her patients turn out after they had treated and examined them in the ER or in surgery. After becoming a doctor a few years ago she did further training to specialize as a trauma surgeon because she wanted to be able to help people after accidents and other traumatizing situations. Ever since her aunt died in a car accident when she was a kid she wanted to specialize in that topic.

After a lot of hard work and years of studying with excellent grades she started working in the Emergency Room (ER) of the Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn. Unfortunately a few months after her start, Thanos made his famous snap – dusting half of the planet. Lynn was one of the remaining people but they lost a lot of staff and all remaining doctors and nurses had to work even harder and more than before.

Lynn accepted the challenge and soon became the leading doctor in the ER. She was responsible for all kind of major injuries like polytraumas, gunshot and stabbing wounds or multiple organ failures. When there was heavy stuff going on in the ER you could find her around the patient to save its life. She won numerous awards for the re-organization of "her" ER which had led to a significant higher life-saving rate for the hospital. She had written her doctor thesis about improving the "Triage"-system and implemented the better version at the hospital in 2020.

Instead of doing the simple Triage (S.T.A.R.T. model) as the hospital did before they implemented an advanced version. In the simple version you use the colors green, yellow and red in order to sort patients into those who need critical attention and those with less serious injuries. The system was created during The Napoleonic War in France in the beginning of the 1800s as millions of soldiers were hurt and there weren't enough beds in the hospital to treat them all:

Green = Not urgent, can wait up to 180 minutes for medical attention Yellow = Less serious injury, can wait up to 60 minutes for medical attention Red = Needs immediate medical attention, Life in acute danger

Lynn had improved the system and included the colors Orange (in between yellow and red, medical attention needed within the next 15 minutes) and Blue (= not really an emergency, can wait up to four hours) to the Triage system. She had also implemented the system in their daily work instead of just using it after mass car crashes or other accidents that involve a huge number of patients at the same time. One doctor in the ER was in charge for sorting the patients into the five categories right after their arrival. So every patient's file in the computer was matched with the right color and all doctors and nurses knew exactly about the seriousness of the patients' injuries.

The re-organization of the ER did not just increase their life-savings rate it also got Lynn her first big award and she was able to gave a few presentations on hospitals around New York to help them implement the new system as well. It was a huge success for her and she was very proud that she made the hospital a bit better and could save even more people than before.

Her second big award was the "Ambitious Young Doctor Award" that she got in 2021 – half a year after she became head of the ER team. With only 29 years at that time, she was very young to have so much responsibility but because of the Snap every doctor – no matter what age – was needed badly. And Lynn was a brilliant doctor.

After the return of the second half of the world with the Blip in October 2023 things changed in the hospital. Lynn was still the head of ER, but her predecessor Dr. Miller was not happy with that and didn't understand why he didn't get his job back. For all the dusted people these five years were just a few seconds. But for the remaining people it was fucking five years where they worked their asses off and tried to live with the new situation.

And it wasn't easy! Almost everybody had lost at least one of their loved ones and they didn't have time to grieve as they needed to work and keep the world alive in the best possible way. And Lynn worked well under all that pressure, although she had lost both of her parents to the Snap.

Around one week after The Blip and the return of billions of people even Dr. Miller respected Lynn and her work and finally was okay with her being in charge. What maybe these superheroes haven't thought about while fighting against Thanos was the fact that within a second Lynn and her team had double the patients. The re-appeared within the hospital building – some of them needed immediate medical intention.

Thanks to her Triage system the chaos was handled well but it was the hardest week of Lynn's professional life so far. For one whole week she had not more than 8 hours of sleep cumulated. Her body was broken and a wreck afterwards but they managed to save as much people as possible. After Dr. Miller had seen how professional and amazing Lynn handled the situation he was okay with being her deputy and representative in case of PTO or illness.

Lynn still loved her job and loved the hospital she was working at, but after The Blip a lot of the processes and improvements she had implemented were abandoned. Just by the fact that the returning doctors were used to the old processes and didn't want to change anything. That was very frustrating for her and made her sad and angry at the same time.

But this evening – after her 24 hours shift – she was happy because she was sure that the man with the car accident would survive. And that was a miracle because of all the injuries he had. That's why she loved her job – because she were able to help people who couldn't help themselves and give them second chances in their lives.

Lynn's apartment was in walking distance to the hospital as it was a special apartment for employees of the Kings County Hospital. The hospital rented a lot of apartments nearby to give them to doctors and nurses for a good prize. She was thankful for that – although her apartment was only around 400 square feet / 38 square meters. It had a little kitchen area and enough space for two bookshelves full of medical books as well as a big queen size bed. She didn't have a couch but watching TV while laying in bed was even better than sitting on a couch. There wasn't enough space for a big dinner table, but she had a small one with two chairs around it.

She watched the sun set between the houses on her street before entering her apartment complex. It has been a long shift and she didn't have motivation or patients to cook so she got herself a pizza on her way home. Thankfully there was a Pizza Hut on Nostrand Ave where she had left way too much money in the last six years. She always wanted to cook for herself but after those hard 24 hours shifts she wasn't in the mood to do it. One of her colleagues and friends Toby was her role-model as he did a lot of meal prep on his days off and was even able to go to the gym four times a week. She took a mental note to ask him for advices to start with a healthier lifestyle.

But tonight she had an amazing Pizza and enjoyed every bite of it while sitting on her bed and watching "Grey's Anatomy" on Disney+.

As she wanted to start with the last slice she could feel her phone buzz next to her thigh and she quickly pulled it out of the pocket of her sweatpants.

Unknown Caller

She wondered for a second and wasn't sure if she should answer the call but then curiosity won over fear so she answered it.

"Hello, this is Lynn speaking."

"Hello Mrs. Summers. My name is Maria Hill." came a friendly female voice from the other side of her phone.

"Actually it's Miss Summers, as I am not married. But that's okay. What can I do for you, Mrs. Hill?"

"Well, actually it's also Miss Hill." Maria chuckled and made Lynn laugh, too. She didn't know why but Lynn felt like she had an immediate connection to Maria.

"I am calling, because I want to offer a job to you." Maria added.

"A Job? What does that mean?" Lynn asked confused. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she tried to find the connection in her brain where the hell she had heard the name "Maria Hill" before.

"Have you ever heard about the Avengers, Miss Summers?" Maria asked calmly.

In that moment Lynn finally got the connection in her head and her eyes widened in shock and disbelief. Maria Hill was the new leader of the Avengers after Nick Fury was killed a few years ago. As Lynn was a civilian she obviously didn't know that Nick Fury survived the assassination by the Winter Soldier in 2014. She just read about his death in the newspapers after it happened. After that the Avengers seemed to be under their own lead but a few months ago she read an article about the re-building of the Avengers Compound outside of New York and that Maria Hill was now the organizational leader.

"Of course I have. I mean, who hasn't, right? They saved our entire planet from being destroyed." Lynn chuckled nervously as she wasn't sure why THE Maria Hill called her.

"Yeah, after putting it in danger for several times before, they saved it in the end. That's right." Maria answered. There was a weird silence between the two women afterwards and Lynn wasn't sure if this was her cue to say something. But before she could open her mouth Maria Hill cleared her throat and continued:

"I am sorry. It was a tough and long day. I am calling because the new Avengers Compound still needs a doctor. We had on-call-doctors but realized that this is not gonna work for us. We need someone to be around 24/7. I've read about your awards and all the amazing work you did after the snap. That's why I would love to have you around and offer you the job as leading doctor in our med bay. You will have 350k as salary, a room next to the med bay and free food and drinks. How does that sound for you?"

Lynn was shocked. The salary was huge and as she didn't need to pay for rent or food she would have a lot of money to spend it on vacations or other stuff.

"I am sorry in advance for asking that, but what are the disadvantages of that job?" she asked nervously.

"I don't understand that question, Miss Summers." Maria answered confused.

"Well... it's... it's a huge salary and an amazing job opportunity. Job like that are normally not as easy as they appeare on the first look. There are always disadvantages. Obvious ones and hidden ones." she stumbled.

She could hear Maria laugh before she answered:

"You are indeed very smart, Miss Summers. The job implies that you stay at the Avengers Compound 24/7, that means you are not as free as you're used to. We're on missions all the time and accidents and injuries can happen in the middle of the night. They mostly happen when we don't plan it. That's why you are on-call all the time. So you won't have regular working hours and a lot of PTO. These are the disadvantages."

"Understood. You said leading doctor. What would the team look like?"

"Your team would also contain an assistant doctor, but we haven't found someone yet. If you have someone you want to bring with you, please let me know and I will check if it's possible. There are also six nurses around that would be under your lead. Two of the six nurses are on the Compound 24/7 like you are. The others as well as the assisting doctor are only on-call in cases of emergency."

"To be honest, this sounds pretty good, Miss Hill. But I need to think about it for a night, if that's okay?" Lynn answered.

"For sure! I'll send you a text with a number that you can call to give me your answer. Take your time until the end of the week. But if you agree to work with us I need you to start on Sunday. We will organize everything with your current employer and help you move your stuff to the compound. So the only thing you need to focus on is having an eye on the Avengers."

"I'll call you tomorrow, I promise! Also I need to call someone that I think of as assistant doctor. He would be perfect for the job."

"Sounds amazing. Then I'll talk to you tomorrow, Miss Summers. Have a wonderful evening." Maria Hill said and without waiting for Lynn's response she hung up.

Lynn sat on her bed with her jaw on the floor and her eyes widened in shock. She could be the leading doctor of the Avengers? She could be a passive part of saving the world over and over again? It was like her dream job. And she didn't mind to move to the compound. When you work as a doctor you don't have time to maintain friendships in a way you want to. That's why her only friend at the moment was Toby.

Speaking of Toby. She regained the ability to control her body and called him immediately to ask him if he wanted to be her assistant doctor at the Avengers Compound. Toby was hyped but not sure how that would work. If he would be working in his normal job full-time but be on-call in case of an emergency or if he would be a doctor at the compound as well. Maria Hill said on-call-doctor but that could be in any possible way:

Full-time normal job + on-call for the Avengers Half-time normal job + half-time sitting around and wait for a call in case he was needed No normal job allowed, just sitting around and waiting for a potential call and so on...

Lynn couldn't answer his questions and they decided to call Maria Hill together tomorrow.

And they did.

Maria answered all their questions and Lynn and Toby got to know that Toby would work in his normal job full-time but got a special phone where we needed to answer any call and immediately make his way to the Compound if necessary. There was a spare room for him in the Compound as well (just in case he needed it) but he would continue living in Brooklyn. Maria would take care of creating a contract between the hospital and the Avengers so that Toby didn't have any disadvantages when he left to help Lynn.

He was not allowed to turn off the special phone and even if he was in the middle of an open-heart surgery he needed to answer the phone and rush to the Avengers as soon as possible. Toby was concerned that this would bring him disadvantages in his normal job but Maria made sure that the contract between the Avengers and his employer would help with that. The only thing she couldn't prevent was the fact that maybe his co-workers would be pissed or annoyed that he needed to left without any warning and without being able to tell them any details.

It all sounded too good to be true but Lynn and Toby decided to give the job a chance as it was interesting and exciting. They celebrated their new jobs with two shots of Tequila and Sushi Take-Away.

⍟ ⍟ ⍟

On Saturday Lynn packed almost all her clothes and other stuff in boxes that someone brought her on Friday evening. After she had quit her current job on Wednesday her boss didn't want her to come around anymore, so she had a few days to pack her stuff. She knew that the moving team would come on Sunday morning 7:00 am and that they would take care of everything else. She just needed to pack he stuff in boxes and label them correctly. The team would also take care of her keys and give them back to the hospital. She really didn't need to do anything - like Maria Hill had told her in their first call.

She was expected to be at the Compound on Sunday Morning 8:30 am to start her first day in the infirmary.

As she was freaking excited for her new job she wasn't really able to sleep in the night from Saturday to Sunday and so she took her MacBook and researched the Avengers. Of course she knew a few things about them because a lot of their stuff were in the news, but she tried to find more personal things about them to prepare with who she would work in the future. But she couldn't find a lot other than the common know things.

"Well, so I have to go into the new job unprepared. Let them surprise me. Don't know if I like that..." she mumbled to herself when the sun started to rise again - coloring the world outside of her window in a mixture of rosé and orange. It was beautiful and she would really enjoy the view, but she was tired as hell and excited and frightened and angry and a lot of other emotions at the same time. Her body was overwhelmed and she felt nauseous which was weird because she was never like that - not even before her final exams in Med School.

But it wasn't like everyday when you start to work with famous superheroes.

She took a shower and packed her suitcase with the most important things that she wanted to bring to the Compound on her own. Then she sprinted to the nearby coffee shop to buy a tray full of coffees for her and the moving team, that arrived a few minutes after she was back in her apartment.

Time for a last Goodbye after she had instructed the workers and made her way to her car to drive to her new home: The Avengers Compound.

It was located outside the city in the Nyack region and she would need 75 minutes with her car to be there with the current traffic situation. So she didn't want to waste time and be late on her first day so she had grabbed her suitcase as well as a backpack with other important stuff and went to her rental car that was parked outside of the building. As she had everything in walking distance and no parking slot or parking garage to her apartment she didn't own a car.

Around 70 minutes later she arrived in front of a big gate with guards next to it. She lowered her front window and one guard came to her car.

"Good Morning. How can I help you?" he asked with a serious but somehow friendly face.

"My name is Lynn Summers and I have am supposed to meet Maria Hill at 8:30 am. I am the new doctor for the Compound." she answered with nervousness in her voice.

The man in his late 40s looked at the iPad in his hand with furrowed eyebrows. A few seconds later - that felt like an eternity for Lynn - he relaxes his face expression and looked her in the eyes.

"Then you must be Lynn Summers, correct? Please show me your ID and afterwards I will check your car with the x-ray. Then you can enter the area." he answered.

Lynn showed him his ID and he nodded before walking around the car with some sort of device in his hands. After two minutes he went back to the still open window and said:

"All clear. You can come in. Follow the street and turn right at the first crossing. Then continue your ride until you arrive at the main entrance. Just park your car in front, someone will take care of returning it to the rental company. Welcome to the Avengers Compound, Miss Summers." he smiled at her as the gate was slowly opening.

This was it. The first day of her new life started today.

⍟ ⍟ ⍟

AN: The Avengers Compound is originally located in "Upstate New York" which would be an 4 hours drive from Brooklyn. As this is not realistic for the story I decided to move it to Nyack.

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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[17] What are we?

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

December 4th 2022 - Atlanta It was still very early in the morning when Sebastian woke up to a still sleeping y/n next to him. She had turned around while sleeping - showing him her back right now.

He reached out his hand, placed it under her shirt and slowly started to caress over her bare skin - drawing circles with his fingertips.

A few seconds later she let out a low moan in her sleep - making him wonder what she was dreaming about.

Sebastian managed to move closer to y/n without waking her and gently put his hand on her waist. He could smell the citrus in her cologne and it calmed him so that he fell asleep again.

Two hours later he opened his eyes again and found himself next to empty sheets. He lifted his head and looked for y/n but she wasn't in the bedroom. Maybe she was just in the bathroom so he put his head back into the comfortable pillow and waited for her.

As she didn't come back within the next 10 minutes he managed to crawl out of the bed. A quick look down on his body let him realize he needed to go to the bathroom first. He didn't want to look for her with his morning boner.

He grabbed a sweatpants and a fresh shirt out of his duffle back and sneaked into the bathroom.

Y/N was standing in the kitchen - preparing pancakes for breakfast. She saw someone sneak around the apartment in the corner of her eyes and smiled.

She woke up about 30 minutes ago and realized that Sebastian was laying right next to her - his cock rock hard underneath his boxers.

The sex with him was awesome but she didn't want to repeat it this morning. Their make-up sex happened in the heat of the battle but with a clear mind right now she knew that it was too early for sex.

Although she had the feeling that they knew each other for years - in reality it had been three weeks. No need to rush things. She wanted to take her time to explore their whatever-this-is-relationship.

Hopefully Sebastian thought the same.

Speaking of Sebastian: he entered the kitchen a minute later and it seemed that he was following the smell to find her.

„Good Morning, Sunshine" he smiled at her and walked in her direction to give her a kiss.

„Good Morning, Seb. I prepared some pancakes for us." she answered while flipping the current batch of pancakes in the pan.

„Oh that's what the smell is coming from. I hoped it would be something amazing as pancakes"

He stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her body and crossed on her stomach, his chin laying on her shoulder.

They already behaved like a couple although they hadn't really talked about what happened between them. The should really talk about it...

„Seb I can't cook properly when you're hanging at me like a backpack", she chuckled and he let her go with a loud whine.

„You can get plates, forks and knives and place it on the dinner table. And two cups as I already prepared coffee for us. Oat milk is in the fridge." she said while pointing on the different closets with the spatula in her hand.

He rushed through the kitchen to get everything she told him while she finished cooking the pancakes. She placed them all on a plate and carried her little food treasure to the dinner table where Sebastian was waiting for her.

To her surprise he had already taken the coffee can to the dinner table as well so she didn't need to go back to the kitchen.

„Promise me that you try at least one pancake with jam!" she exclaimed while she was stabbing three pancakes with her fork to carry it to her own plate.

„Jam? Never tried that before! But I'll give it a try. What kind of jam do you have?" he asked and poured the coffee into the cups. He added the oat milk to both of their coffees and y/n added two spoons of sugar to her cup as well.

„I have blueberry jam because it's a very American thing and strawberry jam - which is my favorite by the way." she said and spread the strawberry jam over her pancake.

He nodded in response and grabbed the jaw of strawberry jam before spreading just a little bit on the one side of his pancake.

They cheered with their forks and he chuckled „Wish me luck!" before he put the pancake with strawberry jam in his mouth.

Y/N looked at him - nervously waiting for a response.

„I know why you like it. It's very sweet." he said with a straight face as he tried to not give away any hint of emotion for her.

„Sebastian Stan, this is not the response I need and you know that!" she hissed at him.

He burst in laughter before he finally said the relieving words:

„It's delicious. I like it! Thanks for recommending that to me."

With a overdramatic sigh of relief she placed another bite of pancakes in her mouth and munched on it.

After way too much pancakes and two cups of coffee each, both of them leaned back in their chairs.

„I am so full. That was too much food." he whined and caressed his stomach.

„You can never have too much delicious food!" she complained although she felt exactly the same.

„Tell that Don" he whined again.

They cleaned the dishes together while y/n played some music of her playlist. They were laughing and singing and dancing through the kitchen - dropping soap and water everywhere. She wanted to clean her kitchen anyways.

When they were done they decided to watch another episode of ‚Brooklyn 99' in her bed again. As both of them were full of pancakes they didn't cuddle but laying shoulder to shoulder in her bed.

In the third episode Sebastian's phone rang and y/n stopped Netflix.

„Hi Mackie, what's up?" he answered the phone.

Y/N couldn't hear Anthony's answers through Seb's phone so she wondered why he called Seb on a Sunday morning.

„No, I'm not home right now. I went to get breakfast and stroll around the city right now." Seb lied to Mackie.

„Okay we're still in the phase of denying that anything had happened to our friends" she thought and wasn't sure how to feel about it. They had four dates. Maybe it was too early to tell someone. Especially someone they both had to work with.

„Listen, man. I can't tell you about it right now." Seb continued and she could hear loud mumble from the other side of the phone. His eyes looked up to her.

She was sure that Anthony wanted to know about the date. Eyes never lie and she could read Seb's pretty good right now. So he had told Mackie that they had a date - like she had told Susan.

Wait Susan! She needed to text her to tell her that she was alright and that the date was phenomenal.

She head back to the kitchen to grab her phone and heard Seb saying:

„No, Mackie. Don't ask anthying right now. I will call you later, okay?"

Still in the kitchen she send Susan a text:

Y/N Sorry that I haven't text you earlier! The date was amazing. We were out for lunch and then we had a private tour at the aquarium. Thanks for that by the way. I will call you later, let me know if you're home! 😘

Susan Thank god you're alive. Don't do that to me ever again. Can't wait for all the details. And you're welcome. 😘

While scrolling through her chat with Susan she realized that she had 12 unread messages from her the entire night and morning. She really was concerned.

Y/N felt guilty for not even thinking about letting Susan now that she was fine. She went back to the bedroom where Sebastian had finished his phone call.

„I think I need to go home now. Anthony was very suspicious and I don't want him to know that I was with you the whole night."

He added a „Not yet" when he saw the sadness in her eyes.

His duffle bag was still standing next to his bedside table so he quickly grabbed his stuff and put it inside the bag. Y/N was leaning on the door frame and watched him. He needed to pass her on his way to leave y/n's apartment so he stood in front of her and asked for permission to pass.

„This will cost a kiss" she answered with a straight face.

His lips landed on hers and instead of breaking apart they deepened the kiss. It felt like all of their different emotions were combined in that one kiss: Passion, lust, despair, sadness and confusion.

Their relationship was undefined, raw and still vulnerable. Both knew it and both didn't want to leave each other. But they had to.

It needed time to grew. Like a little seedling on its way to become a big and strong tree.

She sighed and let him pass so that he could make his way to the entrance door. None of them spoke a word after the kiss.

Before he left her apartment he turned around and smiled at her.

„Thank you for this amazing date. I hope we can have another one soon!" he said.

„No I have to thank you, Seb. You put so much afford in that date and it was the best date I ever had. It was perfect."

He grabbed her into a tight hug and she whispered a „Thank you, honey" in his ear - letting a firework explode in his stomach.

Yep, he fell head over heels for that woman.

„See you at work tomorrow?" he asked curious.

„Of course!" she answered and gave him a kiss on his cheek that made him blush.

He turned right and headed down the corridor - y/n's gaze followed him until he entered the elevator.

~~~

After she closed the door behind her she jumped around her apartment in excitement.

This was the best weekend ever!

She grabbed her phone and called Susan, but she didn't answer. Instead she got a text from her.

Susan I can't answer the call, because I am with my family. But please text me all details. Can't wait until this afternoon. Need to know it asap!

Y/N This was the best date I've ever had!!! We went to a very special 40s restaurant that was the set for CAFA and then he literally rented the whole Atalanta aquarium so that we could have a private tour on our own. And he prepared pillows and cushions and candles and we cuddled in front of the whale shark. Can you imagine that?

Susan NO WAY! He asked me if I knew a place where you wanted to go in Atalanta and I told him about the aquarium. But he didn't tell me the details. That is fucking adorable!

Y/N Isn't it?! And then we went on a walk but as it was freezing he suggested hot chocolates at his apartment.

Susan And let me guess: then he licked cream out of your belly button?

Y/N SUSAN!

Susan What? You told me that he could do miracles with his tongue. So I just guessed.

Y/N Remind me to never tell you again any details about my sex life.

Susan 🤷🏼‍♀️ The most important question is: did you have sex again?

Y/N No...

Susan Why not?

Y/N Because it was our first date???!!!

Susan Technically it was your fourth date and it's okay to have sex on a fourth date.

Y/N He did sleep over at my place and we had breakfast together though. He was so cuddly and kissy this morning. Felt like we're already in a relationship.

Susan Well, are you in a relationship?

Y/N We haven't talked about it yet.

Susan You should talk about it. ASAP. You're working together and your love relationship should not effect your business relationship!

Y/N I know... But I feel it's too early to talk about it. I think I'm gonna ask him for another date next weekend. Maybe we have time to talk about it then. And if not: that's okay for me as well. We have time to figure this out.

Susan You two are already head over heels for each other. You just need to talk! It's not that hard.

Y/N It's not as easy as you think. But thanks for the advice. Gonna head out to the gym now - need to clear my mind.

Susan Have a good day. See you tomorrow! 😘

Y/N See you tomorrow. 😘

~~~

Y/N was already waiting in the hair and make-up trailer the next morning when Anthony opened the door. He was scheduled first and Danny would be right after him. Sebastian was last.

„Good Morning, Y/N" Anthony said and winked at her.

„Good Morning, Mackie" she answered and smiled at him.

„Oh someone's in a good mood today? Any specific reason for that?" he chuckled while sitting down on the chair in front of the mirror.

Y/N grabbed a shaving machine as she needed to trim his beard a little. When she returned to the seat she smiled at him and said: „Just had an amazing weekend."

„I can see that!" he answered.

It was this weird we-both-know-exactly-what-you're-talking-about tension but none of them went into details so she trimmed his beard and combed his hair in silence.

When he was done he patted on her shoulder before leaving the trailer. Danny should be around in 10 minutes so she grabbed her phone to check if Sebastian had texted her. And he had.

Sebastian Good Morning, Sunshine. My scene was postponed to the afternoon so I am not coming around this morning. Hope to see you later?!

Y/N I have the afternoon off as I worked too much last week. Jennifer will be here and prepare you for the scene. I am sorry!

Sebastian Oh no! A day when I don't see your beautiful face is a sad day

Y/N You can see my face tomorrow!

Sebastian Or I'll come around after work?

Y/N You can do that as well. Any wishes for dinner?

Sebastian Just you.

Y/N But you can't eat me. You're not Steve Kemp. Thank God!

Sebastian Then maybe some pasta. I love pasta.

Y/N I'll make us Pasta with green pea and avocado pesto.

Sebastian. Sounds delicious. Can't wait to see you. I should be there around 7 pm. I'll let you know if shooting got delayed or so. ♡

Y/N Can't wait to see you too, honey. ♡

Danny entered the trailer and y/n started to prepare him for one of his scenes. Thankfully it wasn't a Falcon-scene so she didn't need to stay much longer after Danny's hair were done and ready to shoot.

On her way back home she stopped at a grocery store to buy all necessary ingredients for dinner. It was a vegetarian recipe so she was worried if Sebastian would have enough protein for the day. She decided to buy pasta made of red lentils to add some Proteins to the dish. Also she bought some pre-marinaded chicken to cook it aside the pasta. Just to be sure.

She didn't want to be the reason why Don was angry.

By the time she arrived home there were 7 more hours left until Sebastian would probably come around. Plenty of time to clean her apartment, watch ‚Stranger Things' and do whatever she liked to do the rest of the time.

So she started with cleaning the apartment and showered afterwards. Her hair were wrapped in a towel when she jumped on her couch to watch Netflix. Maybe she was falling asleep during her Netflix marathon because it was already 5 pm when she looked at her Apple Watch the next time.

Normally she would be stressed out what to wear on that date (yeah it counts as a date, right?) but she was so comfortable with Seb already that she decided to wear a black yoga pants with floral applications and a white shirt with the letters „New York" on it. She made sure that you can't see her skin-colored sports bra through her shirt and went to the kitchen to prepare the food.

While the pasta was cooking y/n thought about her and Seb's relationship.

You couldn't deny that they were dating. And they enjoyed hanging around. Even more. Their relationship was already intimate. Not only physical. They had talked about their pasts and how they became the persons that they are today.

Y/N was very interested in his memories from Romania and she was so amazed how his mother and him managed to live in a country thousands of kilometer/miles away from their family - without much money or even knowing the language. She didn't know if she would have been as brave as Georgeta - Seb's mum.

He asked her a lot about her family as well and when she told him everything about her Grandma and how much she meant to her, Seb was also very emotional.

They were sitting in the trailer while she prepared him for scenes when that topic came up. She still had the image of him laughing about the fact that he thought she was married because of the ring on her left hand right in front of her eyes. God she loved his laughter. When the nose crunches appear and the beautiful sound he made...

„As soon as I realized that you're flirting with me at our very first meeting in the headquarters, I knew you're not married" she remembered him laughing.

But she loved even more when he was vulnerable and emotional. She loved that he was able to understand the importance of specific situations and people in her life.

It felt like she could tell him everything and he would understand her and vice versa.

This wasn't just dating.

This was already a relationship.

The realization hit her like a train and she gasped - unable to breath for a few seconds.

Thankfully her alarm clock helped her back to reality. The pasta was done and it was 6:45 pm. Sebastian hadn't texted her yet so she expected him to be here soon.

All ingredients for the pesto were already in the blender: green peas, avocado, some onion and garlic, oil, Greek yoghurt, fresh basil, a teaspoon mustard, lemon juice and spices.

She turned it on and watched the solid ingredients turn into a smooth pesto.

The chicken would be next and she placed it in the pre-heated pan and cook it from all side until it was crispy.

It was 7:05pm when everything was ready and she placed the two plates with the pasta in pesto on the dinner table. Then she went back to the kitchen and grabbed the plate with chicken to place it also on the dinner table. She poured water in their glasses and waited for Sebastian.

Maybe he wasn't lucky with the parking spot again and needed to walk a longer distance to her complex.

It turned 7:30pm and the food was almost cold. Not the biggest problem because her oven had a re-heat function.

She grabbed her phone and texted Sebastian.

Y/N 7:31pm: Hey, where are you? 7:31pm: Delays with the scenes? 7:32pm: Can you let me know when you'll be here? I'm hungry.

The dinner table wasn't comfortable to wait so she changed positions and sat on the couch instead. Her phone on the coffee table in front of her - screen up.

Sebastian hadn't responded yet and she could see that he hadn't read it, too. He was probably driving right now - or still on set without access to his phone. This wasn't unusual for Marvel as they tried to keep their movies a secret for as long as possible.

Y/N 8:10pm: Okay I am starving. So I eat my portion right now. Yours is still here waiting for you. 8:11pm: Hope you're here soon. Seems like they didn't let you go home in time. 8:11pm: Or use your phone...

The pasta was delicious! She had never done this recipe before but it was a 10/10! The pasta was very creamy with the pesto and the chicken aside was a very good idea. It matched perfectly with the Italian-herbs-marinade.

Time went by and Seb didn't read her messages, responded or arrived at her apartment. She was angry, because he texted her that he would let her know if there are any delays. And she waited for him the entire evening.

It was already late for her and she decided to go to bed to sleep. She needed to be on set early next morning.

Y/N 9:35pm: I'm going to sleep now. 9:35pm: Please don't come around tonight. I'll pack your portion in a Tupperware and bring it for you for lunch tomorrow. 9:36pm: Goodnight, honey. ♡

She put her phone on the bedside table as usual, rested her head in the comfortable pillow and fell asleep a few minutes later.

In her dreams she had a big argument with Seb about the evening and why he didn't texted her. It wasn't realistic and the fight was not rational.

Out of nowhere a buzzing-sound appeared in the background of her dream - not really fitting into the scenario.

After 4-5 buzzing sounds she realized that it was her phone that laid on the bedside table. Someone called her.

So she opened her sleepy eyes, turned to her bedside table and grabbed her phone to read the name on the screen:

Sebastian

It was 11:15 pm.

Y/N answered the call with a „Hey Seb, they forced you to shoot til now??"

„Hey Y/N, it's Mackie. Listen, don't freak out. Seb is in the hospital. One of his stunts went wrong and we had to call an ambulance. I wanted to let you know because you two are kind of... something."

____

[AN] Are you ready for some drama? Because I am!

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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[16] The first official date ♡

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

November 29th 2022 - Atalanta It was early in the morning when a horrific sound filled y/n bedroom. The sound was her alarm clock that gave her the acoustic sign that she had to stand up and go to work.

She opened her eyes and tried to find the source of that annoying sound: her cell phone. It was on her bedside table. When she was able to reach it with one of her hands she immediately turned off the alarm and let herself collapse into the sheets again.

The man next to her let out a low whimper and reached out his hands to find y/n. When Sebastian's hands finally touched y/n's naked body he pulled her close to his bare chest and hugged her tight.

Her face was buried in his chest and he didn't even thought about loosen his grip around her.

„Sebastian, I can't breathe!" she groaned at him and tried to escape his muscular arms.

He looked down at her and smiled - placing a kiss on her forehead before releasing her from the hug. With more range to move now she was able to lift her head a bit, looked up at him and found his beautiful steel-blue eyes. Her safeplace.

„Good Morning, Sunshine" he said and leaned down to place his lips on hers. The butterflies in her stomach appeared again and she deepened the kiss with him - ignoring the fact that both of them probably had terrible morning breaths after the Chinese food the evening before.

„Good Morning, Sebastian" she said after they broke the kiss to take a breath.

„Can you please call me Seb? We had sex. I think we were intimidate enough that you don't call me Sebastian again!" he chuckled.

„Of course, Seb!" she winked at him - making him blush. It was adorable to watch. This strong muscular man, that was laying naked next to her blushed when she winked at him. She smiled.

„I think we really need to take a shower and go to work. There is so much VFX make-up I have to put on before turning you into Bucky." y/n sighed. She didn't want to leave the bed. It was comfortable and she wanted to cuddle with Seb the whole day. But they both needed to go on set.

„I don't want to. Let's call them and say we're both ill now." he whined and grabbed her from behind - his arms around her naked upper body. When his forearms accidental brushed over her breast she could hear him giggle a „Sorry!" in her ear.

She couldn't deny any longer that she fell head over heels for this man. After three dates with him. She didn't care about official or not official or if their friends were around. Sebastian and her had three dates and the third was a night to remember. She never had a man who let her come twice - he really knew what to do with his tongue (and his cock, too).

„We can't say that we're both not well. That would be really suspicious." she answered with a sigh because she really wanted to do that. But it was her first Marvel project and she needed to do a good job. She was already out of order yesterday. She needed to go to work today. And Seb as well because the scene would be impossible without Bucky.

She patted on his arms as sign that they need to stand up now.

„Come on, Seb. You and Me. Shower. NOW!" she said in a dominant voice what made him lift his head a little. As he was not responding verbally or with any sign of leaving the bed she stood up and placed herself to stand on his side of the bed right next to the bedside table.

„Sebastian Stan. Don't try to figure a way out of this and do what you're told!" she commanded with a face expression he had never seen before.

His eyes widened in shock and he threw away the blanket immediately to make his way out of the bed. As he passed her on the way to the bathroom he whispered with a smile: „Using my line from 355 against me? How dare you!"

As response she gave his naked (and perfectly shaped) ass a hard smack and followed him to the bathroom - picking up his clothes from the floor on the way. She threw them inside the open bathroom door and ran back to her closet to grab fresh clothes for herself.

She could hear that Seb had already turned on the water and she hurried into the bathroom to join him in the shower.

15 minutes and a gazillion of kisses and touches (nothing else happened - don't even think about it!) later she turned off the warm water, stepped out of the shower and grabbed two towels. Seb left the shower as well - little drops of water trailing their way down his body.

She threw one of the towels at him and because he hadn't expect that to happen, the towel landed in his face. „Hey!" he exclaimed and grabbed the navy blue towel from his head.

„Do you want to kill me?" he said with a fake angry face. But she didn't buy it as she knew when he was acting and when he was honest. Observing him on work (and maybe watch ever interview he ever gave) was really helpful for that.

„A real bruise on your face would make my work easier as we're already way too late." she chuckled.

„I will tell Jennifer that it's my fault if she is angry!" he answered while drying his body with the towel before he put on his boxers.

When he lifted his head again to face y/n he saw her with a frozen and shocked face.

„What?" He said concerned while putting on his jeans and shirt again.

„You really thought about telling Jennifer that YOU are the reason that I am too late this morning?" she said in shock.

„Well. I wouldn't tell her that we fucked and I didn't want to let you go this morning, y/n!" he laughed while walking towards her - placing his hands on each side of her waist.

„I would tell her that we had breakfast at Starbucks and forget about the time while chatting" he continued.

The tension fell off her body. She wasn't even sure if she was allowed to have a relationship on set. „Relationship? Wait a minute. Three dates. It's been three dates! don't you dare think about something like a relationship. Don't be a fool" she thought.

They both managed to put on clothes again and y/n was even able to prepare a coffee and some scrambled eggs on toast for them for breakfast.

„You can come with me on our way to the studios. You don't have to drive on your own. I can bring you back home later. Just if you want" he offered while munching on his toast in pleasure.

„That would be great, thank you."

„But I'll be the DJ. My playlist!" he winked at her.

„Just if it's a good one. Although... nevermind. It's a 20 minutes drive. I'll be fine with your playlist." she answered with furrowed eyebrows.

Sebastian grabbed his purse and keys and y/n her bag - with all the stuff a woman needs inside - and they left her apartment.

His car was parked right in front of her complex and she wondered how he managed to be so lucky. She was happy to have a parking garage underneath the apartment complex so she didn't need to worry about finding a parking slot anymore.

They entered his car and as soon as he put the keys in the keyhole loud music started to blurt through his car. It was some kind of rock but she was shocked too much about the volume that she couldn't figure out what band it was. He turned down the volume and started their journey to the studios.

After two songs she realized that he was hearing 2000s rock songs with bands like Green Day, Panic! At the Disco or 30 Seconds to Mars. She was able to sing almost every lyric.

Sebastian looked to his side and was impressed that she didn't just like his music but also was able to sing every song. Not in a perfect singing voice, but she looked like she was happy.

He didn't knew how much this moment meant for y/n. As an insecure person she always tried to avoid things where people could laugh. Singing publicly was one of those things. But she entered Seb's car and started singing loud without even thinking about that there could be the possibility that he laughed about her. She felt safe. And she trusted him. And that meant a lot.

They arrived at the studio at 7:35am - almost an hour after the time she had been there usually. Her official starting time was 7am but she liked to be there on her own 15 minutes earlier. To check everything and make sure she could do a good job.

They hurried to the hair and make-up trailer and y/n started to apply The VFX make-up on Sebastian's face. Jennifer made a lot of photos how she had it done yesterday so she could just copy that.

„So what scene are you shooting today?" y/n asked after an Assistant brought Sebastian a new version of todays script.

„It's a scene between Bucky and a doctor. Bucky was hurt pretty bad in one of the missions and had multiple bleedings at his organs, broken rips and a broken leg. The bleeding healed very quickly thanks to the super soldier serum and everybody expected that it would be the same with the broken bones. BUT! It didn't. His leg and rips were still broken after two weeks. They made some tests and figured out that the serum was loosing it's powers. After 80 years!"

She could listen to him speak about Bucky all day. He was so passionate when it come to his characters and he had such a special relationship with Bucky. They basically grew up together.

„That sounds pretty interesting. It's a new thing, right? We haven't heard about the serum loosing his powers after all the years before!"

„Technically not. But Kevin told me that they wanted to give a hint on that possibility when Steve returned as old man. Not only was he getting older because he wasn't frozen for a longer time - he also had normal issues that come with an older age like trembling hands and bad sight."

She stopped with her work for a second. Her lips were parted a little and she looked in a corner on the ceiling. Sebastian wondered what was going on when she shook her head. It seemed like she was really thinking about what he had told her before.

„Never thought about Steve being old in Endgame in that way. Kevin is just a brilliant mastermind!" she answered in awe. He nodded in agreement before she continued creating the bruises and cuts on his face.

The make-up was done and y/n followed Sebastian on set as she was interested how the scene turned out.

It was a pretty good scene and y/n was fascinated how amazing Sebastian could portray Bucky's emotions even without saying a word. He was a brilliant actor. When Joe and Anthony Russo - the directors - were happy with the last take, all of them were allowed to go home.

Seb and y/n head to his car and he dropped her off at her apartment as he promised. Before she could get out of the car he leaned over and gave her a shy kiss on the lips.

„See you tomorrow, sweetheart." he whispered at her smiling.

„See you tomorrow, Seb!" she answered with the same wide smile before she left the car and slammed the door shut behind.

~~~

December 3rd 2022 - Atalanta The next days went by really fast. Seb and y/n tried to act normal in front of other people but when the were alone they were like teenagers.

Giggling and touching each other as much as they could. They also talked a lot: About their families, their friends, their jobs and a lot more.

On Friday morning Sebastian reminded her that he would pick her up at 01:00 pm on Saturday. As if she would forget that. Her first official date with Sebastian fucking Stan. She would never ever forget that.

Her excitement grew from day to day as he denied to tell her anything he had planned for their date, expect of the fact that they would have food.

Their original plan was a Japanese food restaurant for lunch and a movie „night"at his apartment afterwards. But yesterday he had told her that he planned something different and that they had to postpone watching ‚Notting Hill' again.

It confused her but made her even more excited. She wasn't sure what to wear so he asked him and his response was not helpful at all: „Whatever you want. You will look beautiful in everything."

Damn Sebastian. NOT HELPFUL!

She decided to wear a long skirt in mint green and a white shirt with a black leather jacket on top. As it was end of November it would be really cold - even in the middle of the day. But she loved that leather jacket and it would fit perfect to her outfit so she hoped that he didn't plan something outside.

Saturday morning came and she was happy that she had a few more hours before he would pick her up. The night was terrible and she had a nightmare about the worst possible date she could imagine. Even Christina was in her dream - telling her that she would fight to get Sebastian back and that y/n didn't had a chance!

So she decided to have a few more hours of sleep after breakfast and thankfully they were dreamless.

An hour before their scheduled pick-up-time she took a shower and started getting ready. As today was a special day she applied some eye make-up in mint that would match her skirt. She even considered putting on a lipstick but decided that that would be too much. She wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

Sebastian was early but thankfully she was already done with everything. He was wearing his black jeans, a white button up shirt and a dark blue suit jacket. He decided that he didn't want to wear a tie so he wore a dark blue bow instead. He looked very handsome.

„You look amazing!" he said after his eyes observed ever inch of her body.

„You don't look too bad yourself" she chuckled back at him.

She quickly grabbed her purse and they left to get to his car.

„Can I get any hint where we're going today, Mr. Stan?" she asked while entering his car.

„Nope, you can't! It's still a surprise" he answered and started the car. While driving through the city they listened to his rock playlist again - screaming lyrics through the car in sync.

She didn't realized where in Atlanta the were, because she was still new to the city and it was a huge one! His car made its way to a parking area in front of a restaurant called „57th fighter groups".

„Here we are!" he said and turned his head around to face y/n.

„Are you hungry?" he asked smiling. Her stomach growled in response - making them both laugh.

„I take that as a yes. Then let's go!" he patted on his thighs in enthusiasm and turned around to leave the car. Y/n also opened the door on her side and stepped out on the concrete of the parking slot.

He walked around the car and stopped next to her. With a small movement Seb placed his hand next to y/n's and caressed with the back of his hand on hers. It was like he was asking for permission to grab her hand.

She grabbed his hand in response and they intertwined their fingers on their way to the front door.

This was already more than a classical first date. But she loved it and he seemed too.

The restaurant looked different than she expected - although she didn't knew what to expect. It seemed like it was a 40s styled restaurant that offered a lot of different dishes.

A waiter guided them to their table in the back of the restaurant. All the tables around them were empty, although the rest of the restaurant was crowded. Y/n looked around in confusion as she tried to understand why almost every table was filled except of them around theirs.

„I thought we would like to have some privacy so I told them to leave these tables empty" he said as he saw her confused face.

They sat down and the waiter asked them what they wanted to drink. It was still lunch time so both didn't want alcohol alongside their food. Y/N ordered a Coke Zero and Sebastian a ginger ale. For food they both had a beef tenderloin with mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts and broccolinis (which was a fancy name for Asian broccoli that tasted the same but had a different appearance).

„Why did you chose this restaurant?" y/n asked curious.

„Well, we shot some scenes for Captain America: The first avenger here. Since then I try to come here every time I am in Atlanta because it's kind of where it all began. Without that movie I wouldn't be where I am and I wouldn't be the person I am now." he explained in a calm voice and a smile on his face.

He tried to hide the tears that appeared at the edge of his eyes but y/n saw them. She reached over the table and gently grabbed his hand with her own. It was an intimacy he welcomed and so he made small circles on top of her hand with his thumb.

For a moment they just looked at each other and he could see the understanding in her face. She didn't thought that it was ridiculous how he felt with the restaurant. It was his history and a turning point in his life. She understood why he liked to come here.

„Thank you for sharing this special place with me" she said - her green eyes locked with his blue ones.

This moment was perfect. Just the two of them. Both of their heartbeats fast in excitement and big fireworks exploded in their stomachs.

But - of course - they were disrupted by the waiter bringing their food.

„Here is your lunch" he said and when he saw them quickly restraining their hands he added a mumbled „oh sorry!".

The food was delicious and they both ate in silence. There were no need for words. Their focus was on fighting against the grumbling monster of hunger in their stomachs that tried to destroy the fireworks.

„Wow this was very delicious!" y/n exclaimed when she had finished her lunch.

„Yeah, it was. And very nourish and healthy two. Proteins and healthy carbs and a lot of vegetables!" he answered laughing.

„So you think Don would agree to that lunch?"

„Yes, he would! Even if not. I don't care, because having lunch with you is more important than Don's agreement to any food." he chuckled.

She took her phone out of her pocket and quickly tipped something.

„What are you doing?" he asked confused.

„I make a note to remind me what you said, so that I can tell Don when I see him. I am pretty sure he will come visit you on set one day!" she answered and tried to maintain a straight face - her gaze on her phone.

„Noooooo, don't do that. Don't betray me!" he laughed and grabbed her phone.

A notebook app was shown on screen and he saw that this wasn't her first note. The page was titeled as ‚blackmail material Seb - Don' and she had added their blueberry muffin conversation on the list as well.

„You are really collecting blackmail material?" he said shocked.

„It's just a joke, Seb." she chuckled and grabbed her phone from his grip.

„If you're not nice to me I won't show you the next station of our date!" he answered and pouted. It looked adorable. Like a puppy dog.

„First of all: there's another station? And I will always be nice to you. Just collecting in case you're not nice to me and I need something to laugh about with Don!" she answered and couldn't hide her excitement.

„Okay, okay. Just because you look so cute when you're excited", he said, grabbed his purse and left the table to pay the check at the bar. It wasn't an expensive restaurant but he didn't want any discussion about who would pay for their lunch.

He was oldskool with that. Although he loved that women became more independent and stronger and didn't need men in their lifes anymore.

As he returned to the table he leaned over the table and said: „Ready for the next station?"

„Yeah!" she exclaimed and jumped off her chair to stand next to him. He grabbed her hand and they left the restaurant intertwined.

He didn't care if anyone in the restaurant would recognize him or not. Normally he tried to hold his dates or relationships behind closed curtains to prevent potential harm for the other person. His fans were great but there was always some jealousy.

But he was so happy at the moment that he wanted to show the world. It was selfish because he hadn't talked to y/n about that topic before. As she was working in the industry for so long she could handle if there were some articles about them in a restaurant - holding hands. At least that was what he thought.

Thankfully he didn't saw anyone looking at him with the oh-my-good-I-know-that-guy-look while they rushed through the crowded part of the restaurant.

Back in the car y/n tried to get to know where they were going but Sebastian didn't say a word to her.

„It's still a surprise!" he chuckled.

As traffic was aweful that day (well it is aweful in Atlanta EVERYDAY) they needed around 45 minutes to reach their destination.

Sebastian drove on a huge parking area that was completely empty. She looked around through the window and saw a large building in the background. It has a „Atlanta Aquarium" sign on top of it.

She knew about the aquarium as it was one of the largest aquarium in the world and a tourist hotspot. That's why she wondered why the parking area was empty. On a Saturday afternoon. Maybe they had some construction work going on or so.

The car stopped in one of the parking slots right next to the main entrance and she could see someone standing behind the closed doors.

„Tadaaaaa!" he exclaimed and reached out both of his hands to point at the aquarium.

„Seb, I don't want to ruin your idea, but the aquarium seems to be closed!" she answered confused.

„I know!" he answered and placed his hand on her thigh. „Because I was the one who made it shut down for the afternoon."

„Wait what? What do you mean?" she was still confused - he could see it in her face expression.

„That means that we have the entire aquarium just for the two of us this afternoon. And we can get a private tour if you want to have one!" he smiled at her.

„How do you know that I always wanted to come visit the aquarium since I've moved to Atlanta but hadn't made it before?" she said excited and placed her hand on his that was still laying on her thigh.

As he didn't answer immediately she had an idea:

„Susan?"

„Susan!" he chuckled and turned his body to leave the car with a „come on! Let's go"

Y/N jumped out the car in high-speed as she was so excited to finally see the aquarium. It was famous for a huge underwater tunnel where you could walk through an aquarium with sharks. And they were also the only aquarium in the world that have a whale shark tank.

It was her turn to ran around to car to Seb with little jumps of excitement.

„You are too cute when you're excited" he said and pulled her into a kiss.

„No time for kissing! I wanna see the sharks!" she said to him with a harsh voice after breaking the kiss. Her hand found his and he literally pulled him to the main entrance. He was shocked how strong y/n was.

They arrived at the main entrance and the man standing behind the doors got his keys and opened the door for him.

„Hello Mr. Stan. Miss Y/L/N. Good to see you! I am Bruno and I am your personal guide today." he welcomed them with a wide smile. By the sparkles in his eyes you could tell that he was also excited and not one of those „this-is-my-job-so-I-am-forced-to-do-this-but-actually-I-hate-people"-guides.

„Nice to meet you, Bruno" y/n and Sebastian said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed. Yep, they were like teenagers.

Their tour started with the smaller tanks of local fish. Bruno explained enough to understand everything but not too much so that would need three days to get through the whole aquarium. It was the perfect pace.

Sebastian was very interested in tropical fish and told y/n that he liked to go snorkeling when he was in Mexico for vacation. He recognized a few of the fishes in the tanks.

One tank had clown fishes and blue doctor fishes and y/n screamed „Nemo and Dori!" when she reached the window. Sebastian and Bruno laughed and Bruno explained that this was the kids favorite tank in that area.

Sebastian placed his hand on y/n lower back while she was watching the fish with the happiest face expression he had ever seen on her.

Bruno let them observe the fish longer than in front of the other tanks before they continued with the tour.

They were about to reach the shark tank with the tunnel and Sebastian could feel y/n's excitement. They were holding hands again and he could feel her heartbeat increase when they were near the big tank.

When they entered the tunnel both of them looked above and Sebastian whispered a overwhelmed „WOW!" while different kind of sharks were passing their way at the glass. They could also see some stingrays resting in the class right above them.

Bruno stopped in the middle of the tunnel and explained the different species.

„I always wanted to ask that stupid question: there are sharks and smaller fishes in that tank. Do the shark eat the smaller fishes? I mean they are predators, right?" y/n asked and felt like she was back in school - asking potentially stupid questions.

„They would hunt the smaller fishes, but we try to keep them well fed so that they are not hungry. That's why we're observing the whole aquarium with at least 5 employees so that we can see if every shark had their food." he answered her question. Then he sighed and added: „But of course we had some accidents. That's nature.."

„See! It wasn't a stupid question at all" Sebastian said and tried to encourage her. There was no need for her insecurity that shines threw from time to time. She was perfect. She just didn't realize that.

Suddenly a huge turtle appeared on one side of the tank and y/n boxed Sebastian on his upper arm, pointed at the turtle and screamed: „Look, Seb! There's a turtle. Look at it. It's so cuuuuute"

„Ow! No need for violence. I can see it clear" he yelled at her.

„I am sorry, honey. Didn't mean to hurt you. I was just so excited. Turtles are my favorite animals." she answered and caressed right over the area on his upper arm where she had boxed him before.

Wait. Did she just use a nickname? Did she just call him „honey"? He called her „sweetheart" all the time but that could be just flirty Sebastian. „Honey" was something different.

She literally called him „honey" on their fourth date. She was totally lost. God, have mercy.

But she could see his smile when he heard the nickname and it seemed like he approved it. They were just two lovebirds that were head over heels for each other. They both knew it. And they both enjoyed it.

Y/N and Sebastian observed the sharks, stingrays and turtles above them for almost 30 minutes and still detected a new kind of fish before they continued their tour.

As they were about to left the tunnel y/n felt that Sebastian became nervous. His hand was sweaty and his heartbeat raced. She wondered why.

The next tank would be the tank with the whale shark - one of the biggest tanks in the entire world. The aquarium had a huge window where visitors could observe the whale shark swimming around in all its majesty.

When they entered the room she saw the whale shark first and it made her hold her breath for a second. It was almost 6 meter long and swam right in front of their eyes. It was a beautiful creature.

The second thing she saw was right in front of the window: dozens of cushions, pillows and blankets spreaded on the floor with candles around it.

„Seb..." she exclaimed and tightened the grip on his hand. She turned her head to face him and found him smiling wide.

„Surprise" he whispered, leaned in and his lips found hers. For a short moment they forget about the world around them. About the whale shark, about the candles and even about Bruno - who was standing next to them and must feel very out of place. The poor guy.

They broke the kiss, opened their eyes again and headed towards the large window with the cushions in front of it.

Bruno gave them a quick explanation about the whale shark and then left to leave them alone.

Seb pointed on the cushions and grabbed the bottle of water and two glasses that were standing next to it. He filled the glasses and said „Cheers to us" before sipping on it.

She could tell that he had been nervous if she would like his surprise and the tension fell off now that she was smiling at him like a maniac.

He laid down next to her - facing the tank. She turned on her side and placed her head on his chest. His arm was around her upper body and he gently caressed her back with his fingertips.

„Seb, it's perfect." she whispered at him and could hear a low „I am glad you like it" as response.

They snuggled into the cushions with a comfortable blanket over their bodies while the were observing the whale shark. It was slow and majestic and she could watch it for hours.

Laying in the arms of a man she really liked (and who smelled amazing) was more she could image for their first official date.

„Thank you." she whispered and placed a kiss on his chest.

He didn't respond to her verbally in the first place. Instead he pulled her even closer and placed a kissed on the top of her head.

„I'm glad you like it. You can't imagine how nervous I was." he added.

„I could feel it. Your heart was galloping before we entered this room."

„What does my heart say now?" he asked in a low and lovely voice that made her firework appear with full forces again.

She adjusted her head a little to place her ear right above his heart and listened with a concentrated look on her face.

After a few minutes of just listening to his heartbeat she answered:

„It is beating in the same rhythm than mine"

That sentence made his heart skip a beat and he was afraid she could hear it. He couldn't be more happy that their date was a huge success.

After a few hours of them cuddling, talking and observing the whale shark, Bruno entered the room again and said: „I am sorry Mr. Stan but it's almost 5:30pm and I would like to go home now."

Sebastian lifted his upper body which made y/n move and sit next to him.

„Of course, Bruno. We're heading out!"

So they left the aquarium in the early evening, thanked Bruno for the amazing tour (and preparing everything else) and went to Seb's car.

„There's a parc nearby if you want to take a few steps after laying around for the last hours!" she suggested. She didn't want the date to be over yet.

„Good idea. Don would be proud of you" he chuckled and they turned around to move to the parc. It wasn't a big one but it would do the job.

As they were slowly strolling around she realized that it was indeed too cold for a leather jacket. Her whole body was trembling and Sebastian realized it.

He pulled her over in a side hug and rubbed over her upper arms to warm her.

„You wanna go back to the car?" he asked concerned. He didn't want her to catch a cold or something.

„No! I don't want this date to end" she whined.

He pulled her even closer and chuckled. She was just adorable and he didn't want the date to end, too.

„Can I make a suggestion?" he asked while turning her body with his hands so that they were face to face now.

She looked confused and a bit concerned but nodded as response.

„We head over to my apartment and we can have a hot chocolate together. So the date isn't over but we're also not dying because of the cold."

„That's a good idea!" she smiled and they made their way to his car.

~~~

25 minutes later they arrived at his apartment complex and he parked the car in a parking garage. The went to the elevator and made it to the third floor. His apartment was the last one on the corridor and he explained to her that Anthony Macky had his apartment right next to him.

Marvel wanted to have them close so they could drive to set together or practice some scenes and dialogue after heading back home.

Y/N remembered an interview for Falcon and the Winter Soldier when both actors told a reporter about their real life friendship and that it helped them to portray the growing connection between Bucky and Sam Wilson.

They entered his two-bedroom-apartment and he directly made his way to the kitchen to grab to cups, milk and cacao powder. He heated the milk on the stove and stirred the cacao powder in it.

Y/N sat down on a couch nearby and waited for Seb to bring her the steaming cup of chocolate. He placed both cups on the coffee table, smiled at her and said „Here you have it, Olaf!"

„Olaf?" she asked and raised her eyebrow.

„Yeah! Like the snowman from Frozen!" he answered confused that she didn't get the hint.

„Didn't expect Sebastian Stan to know Frozen." she chuckled.

„I've seen the musical in New York" he responded and raised his hands in front of his body in defense.

She wrapped her hands around the cup and could feel the warmth run from her fingers throughout her entire body.

„That was a good idea!" she smiled at him before blowing on the chocolate to cool it down and take a first sip.

„Mhhhmmm! It's delicious" she added.

„It's the Stan's family secret hot chocolate recipe!" he said with pride in his voice.

She laughed, furrowed her eyebrows and answered: „Seb, it's literally just milk and cacao powder. You can't call that a recipe!"

He grabbed his heart to intend that he was badly hurt by her comment before both of them bursted in laughter.

She tried to drink her chocolate as slow as possible to not let their date come to an end but the inevitable happened a few minutes later.

Sebastian saw the sad look on her face and stumbled: „You know you can stay over night if you want to..."

Her face expression changed to surprise and he immediately regret the offer. Maybe it was too much too early. But he really wished she would stay over. He wanted to cuddle her and wrap his arms around her the entire night and morning.

It felt like a lifetime until y/n answered: „Seb, I would love to. But..." he hold his breath - waiting for her to continue the sentence. „... I don't have any clothes with me."

He couldn't hide the sadness on his face and she saw it and felt bad immediately.

„BUT! You can grab some of your clothes and stay at my place. I would like that." she added and smiled.

He smiled back at her - happy that she offered the stay-over on her own. Seemed like she also enjoyed having him around the other night.

„Hold on. I'll grab my stuff and we're ready to leave in five."

He ran into his bedroom like speedy Gonzales and packed a duffel bag with everything he needed. She laughed when she saw him running around the small apartment with a happy grin on his face.

~~~

They arrived at y/n apartment at around 7:30pm, but as he wasn't lucky this time the parking spot he got was a 7-minutes-walk to her complex.

When they finally stepped through the door they were both exhausted from the day. Although it wasn't that late.

But Seb confessed to her that he wasn't able to sleep well the night before either.

So they decided that the didn't want to watch another movie as both of them would fall asleep right after the start.

„But we could cuddle in my bed and watch a TV series. Maybe some comedy? The episodes are not long and you don't have to watch carefully all the time." y/n suggested and Sebastian nodded in agreement.

So he carried his duffel bag into her bedroom as she left to the bathroom to change into her pajamas. She was still wearing the oversized 40s Bucky shirt and a black shirts as pajama what made Sebastian laugh when she entered the bedroom.

„You know that's me above your breasts, right?" he chuckled.

„Yeah I know. Christina sent me that shirt and I really like it. Captures the spirit of 40s Bucky perfectly!" she answered.

He didn't respond to that and his face expression changed and was suddenly full of concern.

„What's wrong?" she asked.

„I normally only sleep in boxers. Is that okay for you?" he responded with furrowed eyebrows.

„Of course it is okay for me. Look at that body..." she said and pointed on his abs that were still covered in a white T-shirt that he was wearing under his button up shirt. „It would be a shame to hide those abs under fabric" she winked at him - making him blush.

„Okay!" he said and stripped off his shirt. She whistled what made him blush even more.

They crawled into the bed and snuggled in the blanket and pillows. Y/N turned on the TV and switched to Netflix.

„I would suggest we watch ‚Brooklyn 99' because it's really funny and you don't need to pay attention too much." she said while scrolling through the library.

„Good idea. I've only seen the first two seasons, so I'm excited to continue watching it!" he answered and raised his arm so that y/n could crawl by his side.

She started the first episode of the third season but they didn't make it to the second episode as both of them were fast asleep soon.

Four dates in three weeks and he had slept over in three out of four times.

This was going way too fast. But neither y/n nor Sebastian cared at this point. They enjoyed their time together.

[AN] the restaurant in Atlanta is indeed a 40s restaurant but there were not scenes shot there. Don't want you to go there and expect the restaurant / bar from CAFA. But I don't know where they shot these scenes.. 🙈

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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We have moved on from this way too quickly

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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Prologue

→ "I didn't have a choice!" - Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

Beginning of March 2024 – Avengers Compound, New York "Miss Hill, I am sorry to disturb and bother you with a request like that, but the New York Police Department really needs the support of the Avengers."

"Captain Miller, it's always good to hear you. What kind of support do you need?"

Maria Hill sat on her desk in the new Avenger Compound and answered the call from the man that was known as one of the big shots in the New York Police Department. He was in the end of his 50s and had more criminals arrested than Maria Hill could ever imagine. She had met him before, during her time as Nick Fury's assistant. But things were different now as she was in charge of the Avengers to make sure that they followed the rules of the 'Thanos Accords' – a big book of rules that replaced the 'Sokovia Accords' after the Blip.

Nick Fury was still on duty and in charge for S.W.O.R.D. – a special task force within the re-built organization S.H.I.E.L.D. – and worked with Monica Rambeau, Jimmy Woo and Darcy Lewis to fight against extraterrestrial threats. He wanted to settle down a bit so he gave the responsibility for the avengers to Maria Hill. Because of the specialty of the task force Fury contacted Maria a lot and asked for superhuman support. Normally Thor was the Avenger that would help him – sometimes together with the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Regarding their common past Fury was also still in contact with Captain Marvel – one of the only Avengers who were not under Hill's observance. She never was under Fury's as well, but at least she always came when he asked for her help. Now it looked like Hill had lost her completely, but she was okay with that. She had still a lot of Avengers left and there were new recruits in training as well.

After the fight against Thanos and the loss of Natasha Romanoff, Vision and Tony Stark as well as the complete destruction of the old Avenger Compound the job didn't appear like something to look forward to. But with Tony's heritage – that Pepper put almost completely on a fonds and let only Steve Rogers be able to withdraw some money – they were able to build a new Avengers Compound on the old area. Including a huge memorial for all fallen Avengers throughout the years.

Of course the Avengers wasn't the same than before the fight against Thanos. A lot of them were gone during the snap and re-appeared after five years without even knowing that five years had gone by. The came back and immediately needed to fight against Thanos – thankfully they won.

After the battle it was Steve's job to go back in time to place the Infinity Stones back on their destinated places in time and space. Although it wasn't easy, he was able to do so and returned as planned. Now he was the leader of the Avengers as they needed to find their placed in the new world – that would never be like before Thanos' snap. People were back, borders were shifted and it seems like the governments of the world weren't sure how to handle to situation.

Because of that there were a lot of smaller and bigger fights around the world and the first half year after the Blip and the return of the second half of the world the Avengers helped to stabilize the broken society.

That's why it wasn't unusual that Maria Hill got calls from around the world but the New York Police Department was a very proud foundation and they normally never asked for help. They didn't even ask for help during the drama in 2012...

"There is this mafia clan we are observing for months. We also have two guys undercover that are included in the clan now. The sell huge amounts of drugs and we know that they get a new delivery on Saturday. Normally we would do that alone but the mafia guys have some extraterrestrial weapons and we are not sure if we can handle the situation on our own. That's why we ask for support." Captain Miller said on the phone and she could hear shame in his voice. The NYPD guys were really proud and asking for help was the last thing they like to do.

"Do you know where they get those weapons?" Maria asked curious.

"Not exactly, Ma'am. Our guys found out that the mafia boss bought them in Madripoor but it's not know where the seller got them." Miller answered.

"Okay. Nevermind, I was just curious. Of course we will help you, Captain. Maybe we can interrogate with the mafia boss after we arrested them. It's always good to know what threats are out there."

"Thank you, Ms. Hill. I'll send you the address of the docks via mail. Please let me know who you're going to send so that I can tell my officers and agents."

"I will send Captain America, Sergeant Barnes and Sam Wilson. The combination of their abilities will be good for the mission and with the two super soldiers by your side no extraterrestrial weapon should be a danger anymore." Hill answered and wrote down to inform the three Avengers about their upcoming mission.

"We do a debriefing about the mission tomorrow morning at 10a,, maybe the three can be there as well." Miller suggested and Maria nodded with an "Uh-Huh" as response.

"I'll send them to your headquarter at 10 tomorrow."

"Thanks, Ma'am!"

"You're welcome. Is there anything else I can do for you, Captain?" she asked with a little smile on her face. She knew that he would never ask for a second favor in one phone call. It was Captain Miller she was talking with – not in a million years he would ask the Avengers for two favors. She was pretty sure he even regretted to ask for the first one.

"No, thank you. Have a good day." Miller answered and ended the call without wasting another second.

Maria hummed a happy melody while sending a text message to Steve, Bucky and Sam to inform them about the upcoming mission and the debriefing. She got three thumps up as response before she stood up from her chair and made her way to the cafeteria to get some lunch.

⍟ ⍟ ⍟

The debriefing went well and everybody knew what to do in the mission on Saturday. Steve learned that this time it wasn't just important to catch and arrest the bad guys, it was also important to have sturdy proofs so that they will stay in jail as long as possible. That's why they had to wait until the mafia boss opened the cargo boxes and revealed the drugs. The undercover men were bugged so when the mafioso mentioned the drugs they had enough proof to give him and the member of his clan a lifelong trip to jail.

The undercover agents would say the sentence "The water is very salty today" as sign for Steve and Bucky to storm the warehouse where the delivery was stored. They should go first as with Steve's shield and Bucky's vibranium arm they would be able to take a few hits with the guns and extraterrestrial weapons that were some kind of laser weapons. With the element of surprise on their side they hoped to have all mafioso in handcuffs as soon as possible. The police officers and agents would wait outside all exits of the warehouse to catch some mafioso when if they decided to flee. Sam would be observing the area together with Redwing and was on hold. If someone still managed to escape it was his job to catch and arrest them.

The plan was solid and nothing special so Steve, Bucky and Sam were not concerned that something could go wrong.

As Saturday came the three of them changed into their signature outfits and made their way to the docks nearby with the Quinjet. Thanks to a brand new invisibility-technology that T'Challa and Shuri invented in Wakanda, no one would see the Quinjet and they could land it on top of one of the warehouses without any problem.

They made their way down to the docs where they met Agent Peralta who was the head of the mission – they had met him the first time during the debriefing.

Bucky wasn't sure if Peralta was the perfect guy for the job as he was joking around the whole time. "Didn't he take the whole mission serious?" Bucky wondered. He would never dare to behave like that during his active time in the Army. It was disrespectful and very out of place. But they were stuck with him and thankfully they would do most of the job anyways. So Peralta and his guys wouldn't be in the way.

The mafia guys arrived at the place and finally Peralta seemed to go into work-mode as he was serious now and told his officers and agents to be quiet.

With his improved hearing Bucky and Steve could hear the mafioso talk to each other about plenty of different things like what they gonna have for dinner or where they plan to go for vacation. It seems like no one takes things like that serious anymore. Bucky sighed and Steve looked at him with confusion in his eyes. Bucky shook his head to tell his friend that it was nothing while they waited for the signature sentence.

The mafia boss (his name was Paulo – nobody knew if it was his correct name or not) went to three big brown cargo boxes and opened them. He looked right into them and smiled – saying nothing.

But they needed him to say something and to confess that he was smuggling huge amounts of drugs. It was important for the trials.

Minutes went buy and he talked to his colleagues about all possible topics without ever mentioning the drugs.

One of the undercover agents wanted to help and asked: "Hey Boss, can I have a look into the boxes?"

Paulo looked at him with an raised eyebrow as he didn't understand why Fabio – that was the undercover name of Agent Sheppard – wanted to look inside of the boxes but he nodded in agreement and Sheppard made his way to the box. He took a long look and continued:

"What's that underneath the wool?"

"What do you mean, Fabio?" the mafia boss asked with a warning tremble in his voice.

"There is something beneath the wool and I don't know what that is." Agent Sheppard said with a straight voice. He really did an amazing job as neither Bucky or Steve could hear fear out of his voice.

Paulo turned around to face the undercover agents and slowly made his way to him – step by step. The whole warehouse was flooded by silence and you could only hear the noises of Paulo's shoes on the cement ground. He stood only a few inches in front of him and looked at him with anger and disbelieve in his eyes.

"There is only one reason why you would ask such a stupid question, Fabio. You're a mole!" Paulo hissed at him and his face turned red in anger.

Agent Sheppard's heartbeat was fast like galloping horses but he tried to maintain his cover. The only way to survive this day and go back to his family in the evening. His wife and the two little children couldn't wait to have him back and he couldn't wait to bring them to bed and read a bedtime story for the first time in months. He missed his family.

"What do you mean, boss? I am not a mole. I helped you to organize this delivery!" he said but couldn't hide the fear in his voice this time.

Paulo looked and him and nobody in the room was sure if he believed him or not.

With a smooth movement he grabbed the pistole that was hidden in the waistband of his trousers and shot Agent Sheppard in the stomach before he turned around to do the same with Agent Carter, who was standing on the other side of the room.

Paulo wasn't sure if the other guy – Ernesto – was a mole too but they came into his clan at the same time and that couldn't be an incident.

Both agents groaned in pain and collapsed on the ground – clutching both hands on the bleeding wounds in their stomachs.

The sound of shots alarmed Steve and Bucky and in the same moment as they nodded at each other and started to storm the warehouse Sam said over comms: "Two men down. Redwing can still recognize a pulse in both of them. We need to save them!"

The two super soldiers ran into the warehouse while Bucky was shooting with his rifle and Cap was throwing his shield at the mafioso. A few seconds later Sam flew into the building and shot at the mafioso as well.

Paulo was killed immediately as one of Bucky's bullets hit him perfectly in the head. The other clan members ran around the warehouse to flee and survive but the NYPD officers expected them and arrested those who were not killed in the hail of bullets. The attack caught them off-guard so most of them hadn't even pull their own guns to defend themselves. Four mafioso including Paulo were killed – the rest catched by the officers and in handcuffs.

Sam landed right next to Agent Carter while Steve ran to Agent Sheppard.

Both Agents already looked pale as they lost a lot of blood. It was all over their clothes and you could see big red puddles under their almost lifeless bodies.

"We need to get them to a doctor as soon as possible!" Sam screamed and grabbed Agent Carter bridal Style.

"Get him to the Quinjet, I'll be right behind you" Steve screamed and started running.

Bucky was left behind with Agent Peralta and his crew to make sure the mafioso made their way to a jail successfully. They could see the Quinjet start – this time without visible – and flew in the direction of the Avengers compound.

"Where are they going?" Peralta asked concerned.

"They will take them to the Avengers Compound. It's the easiest way as most of New York's hospitals don't have enough space on the roof so that the Quinjet can land" Bucky answered and clapped on Peralta's shoulder. Steve had told him that people do that to show another person that you commiserate with them. He never understood that, but he wasn't the best with feelings since the whole Winter Soldier thing. Steve told him, that people do that, so he repeated it.

⍟ ⍟ ⍟

"Maria, this is Steve speaking. We need have two seriously injured agents in the Quinjet. Gun shot wound in the stomach and they already lost a lot of blood. We're arriving in 30 seconds." Steve contacted the compound to let them know what they were up to.

"Copy that. The doctor is not at the compound at the moment, but I called him. He'll be here as soon as possible and brings a colleague. The nurses already prepare two surgeries and take care of the agents in the meantime." Maria answered.

This wasn't exactly how she imagined this mission would go. It was an easy mission. "What could go wrong?" they joked yesterday. And now they were on their way to the compound with two almost dead agents of the New York Police Department. Captain Miller would be angry as hell. She needed to know what happened and would ask Steve right after their arrival.

She could see the Quinjet arrive at the compound and made her way out of her office to an elevator that would bring her to the roof. She could already see a bunch or nurses with two stretchers waiting for the Quinjet to lower its ramp. When they were able to, they wheeled the stretchers inside the jet and came back with two lifeless bodies on each of them. In high-speed they made their way to the elevator to bring the injured agents to the infirmary – a trail of bloody red drops behind them.

"What the hell happened" Maria screamed at Steve who left the Quinjet in that moment – followed by a sad looking Sam.

"Their cover blew up and the mafia boss shot them. It was a mess. Just because they didn't get enough proofs to have him in jail forever. He didn't mention the damn drugs." Steve sighed.

"It was all so fast, we didn't have a chance to prevent the shooting." Sam added.

"Understood. It's not your fault. Where is Bucky?" Maria asked concerned as she looked around the roof and didn't see the grumpy metal armed man.

"He is still with the other officers in the warehouse to make sure that all mafioso get arrested properly. Unfortunately the boss was shot deadly so we can't interrogate him." Steve said while looking into Maria's eyes.

The woman sighed, looked at both of her Avengers before she said: "Well, that's bad. But we have more important things to take care of now. Let's head to the infirmary and see how they are doing. I'm gonna call Barnes afterwards."

The three followed the bloody trail to the elevators and made their way down to the infirmary. It was located on the same floor as their training and work-out rooms as injuries during training were more common than during missions nowadays.

Maria was in front of them and pushed the button to open the door to the infirmary. They stood in a little entrance area with a counter to their right and a lot of doors that lead to examination rooms and other hallways. Steve could swiftly made his look around the room and read the door signs:

· Examination Room 1 · Examination Room 2 · Doctor's Office · Patient Rooms · Surgery · Laboratory · Private

A nurse was sitting behind the counter and as she saw Maria enter the room she stood up from her chair and said: "The doctors are not here yet, but we already prepare them for their surgeries. They got painkillers, blood transfusions and anesthesia."

Maria nodded and grabbed her phone to call the doctors.

"Where are you?" she yelled as the man answered the phone. Steve had never seen her so angry before and he didn't understand why.

"We're stuck in traffic and need at least 20 more minutes" the doc answered with a loud sigh.

"What do you mean you are stuck in traffic? Where? We'll send the Quinjet!" Maria yelled again. Her face was furrowed in anger and a little bit of fear.

"Not possible, there is no possibility to land nearby. I am sorry, we try to come as fast as possible."

Maria ended the call and smashed her phone on the ground – making Sam and Steve jump in the air.

"Maria, what the hell!" Sam exclaimed but Maria ignored him as she turned around to face the nurse again.

"Can you go and check with the nurses if they will survive 20 more minutes. The docs need more time." She said in a calmer voice than before. The nurse nodded and ran straight through the door that said "Surgery".

She came back two minutes later and looked at Maria with a concerned face expression before she said: "They try everything to keep them alive. One of our nurses studied medicine but didn't finish it because she became pregnant. She asks if she should start with the surgery or if they should wait for the doctors to arrive."

Maria looked at her with widened eyes in disbelieve. She should decide that? If a former medicine student should operate on a shot agent?

Maria exchanged looks with Steve and Sam and saw both of them nodding. They were right – they needed to do everything possible to save those agents. The call with Captain Miller would be not nice if they don't survive.

"Do it!" she said to the nurse who ran back to give the instructions.

For the next twenty minutes Maria and the two boys sat on the chairs in the entrance area – waiting desperately for the doctor to storm through the entrance. But it never happened.

Suddenly they realized a movement but it came from the other side of the room. The same nurse than before was standing in the doorframe and looked at them with sad eyes.

"I am sorry but one of the agents just died. The other one is still in surgery and Charlotte is trying to save him. Do you know when the doctors will arrive?" she asked and fear, sadness and concern was shown on her face. There was no need for unnecessary professionality now. They just lost someone.

"I don't know. I try to call him again." Maria said with the same sad face expression. Steve placed a hand on her thigh to comfort her while Sam stood up to walk around the room as he was not able to sit and do nothing anymore.

But the doc didn't answer the phone. He probably knew what another call would mean.

Five minutes later he stormed through the door – closely followed by another male. They didn't even realize that there were people sitting in the room as they directly made their way into the surgery.

"Thank god, they are finally here." Maria thought and leaned back in her chair. Now all they could do was wait.

They didn't expect to see the doctors within the next hours so Maria excused herself to go back to her office and call Bucky to get a status on the remaining mafioso. She tried to avoid to call Captain Miller before she knew if the second agent would survive. Hopefully Charlotte would have already done a good job before the doctors arrived.

Right after she left the elevator on the floor of her office her phone rang and she could see that Steve was calling her.

With a very bad feeling in her gut she answered the phone and heard Steve saying: "The second agent died while the doctors prepared themselves for the surgery. Charlotte did all she could do, but he lost too much blood and the damage in his stomach was intense."

"Thank you for calling me Steve. I think I need to call their Captain before I call Bucky." Maria sighed and knew that the next hours wouldn't be easy for her as there were a lot of calls and bureaucracy waiting for her.

"Maria..." Steve said before she could end the call.

"Yes, Cap?"

"We need a fucking doctor in this compound. This could have been prevented. Can you get us a doctor?" Steve's voice was sadder than she expected it to be as he didn't know the agents before. But Steve had always been an emotional guy – in a positive way.

"I know, Steve. I will get us one as soon as possible." Maria answered.

She had thought about that a few times. Before the snap the compound had a doctor called Helen Cho but she was dusted and after she came back she decided to spend more time with her family and got a part-time job in a local hospital.

Maria went to one of the filing cabinets in her room that contained a lot of notes and files from Nick Fury – with too much advices and helpful information than she could ever imagine to have in a new job. It was amazing but she didn't have the time to go through everything so far.

She looked through the cabinet until she found a big file with the word "doctors" on it. It contained profiles of potential doctors for the compound. Nick always had three or four back-up plans to make sure he got what he needed. He had put post-its on each profile with a number on it – ranking the doctors for their abilities.

Maria grabbed the profile with a large "One" on the post-it and looked at it in detail:

Lynn Summers born Juyl 31st 1992 currently working at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn

The profile also contained a photo of the brunette doctor as well as an e-mail address and a phone number. She decided to call Captain Miller first, Bucky afterwards and Lynn Summers at the end to offer her a new job.

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

Text

Introduction & Cast

→ "I didn't have a choice!" - Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

The story takes place in an alternate universe than the main MCU timeline after the events of "Avengers: Endgame" and before "Falcon and the Winter Soldier"!

Disclaimer: I haven't read the comics so all differences to the main MCU timeline and events are completley out of my mind and I don't know if they are even realistic or not.

__________

⍟ Word Defintion⍟

The Snap is Thanos' snap that made half of the planets' citizens disappear into dust. It happend in Spring 2018.

The Blip (= Tony's snap with the Infinity Gauntlet to get back half of the plane) was in October 2023. This story is taken place mostly in 2024 and deals with the aftermath of the Blip and the returning of billions of people.

↦ In the MCU they use both words for boths events. But as this is very confusing, I decided to use them for different events as described above.

__________

⍟ Differences ⍟

· Steve Rogers decided to stay with Bucky and help him recover from his trauma instead of going back to Peggy Carter to live his life with her. So he brought back the Infinity Stones and came back as planned

· Sam Wilson remains as Falcon. He and Bucky are not friends yet, but accept each other

· Wanda Maximoff didn't become insane because of Vision's dead. She still lives with the Avengers and grieves in silence. So the whole events of WandaVision didn't happen => But there is a special task force called S.W.O.R.D. that was founded by Maria Rambeau and their main task is to fight againstextraterrestrial threats

· Peter Parker is still known by everybody, so the events of "No way home" haven't happened and the Multiverse does not exist / collapsed

· Maria Hill is the director of the Avengers and not Nick Fury anymore. Nick is now the director of the S.W.O.R.D task force

· Clint Barton and his family now live at the Avengers Compound as he realized that is is easier to keep them safe when they are surrounded by superheroes

· Kate Bishop is part of the Avengers now but has the titel as "Avenger in Training" so she is not allowed to go on missions yet. She has Pizzadog with her and lives in the Compound

__________

⍟ Similarities ⍟

· Tony Stark made the final snap with the Infinity Gauntlet and died

· Vision died as Thanos got the Power Stone from him in 2018

· Natasha Romanoff died to get the Soul Stone

__________

⍟ Cast⍟

Nina Dobrev as Lynn Summers Lynn is the new doctor at the Avengers compound and soon confronted with a lot of problems. When she finds out that Bucky is suffering from nightmares she tries to help. But will he let her help?

Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes The former Winter Soldier is still struggling to find his place in this new world. He's grumpy, secretive and does not trust people other than Steve. Will he be able to open himself to Lynn?

Chris Evans as Steve Rogers / Captain America As new leader of the Avengers he is trying to help people and save the world over and over again. But the biggest fight is to get his best friend Bucky back. To let him get over his time as the Winter Soldier. Will this be possible or will Bucky remain as a broken version of himself?

Anthony Mackie as Sam Wilson He supported Steve in every possible way to get his former best friend back. Sam was also by Steve's side when they fought Thanos. But he is still not a big fan of Bucky as he is not sure whether he can trust him or not. Will that change?

Rest of the MCU-Cast as their regular roles in the MCU

Edward Speelers as Toby

Daisy Edgar-Jones as Ann Summers

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

Text

"I didn't have a choice!" - Masterlist

Lynn Summers found herself as the new doctor at the Avengers Compound. Soon she starts to become friends with Wanda, Steve, Sam and the others. Only a grumpy metal-armed man does not seem to trust and like her.

One eventful night changes everything between them. Will it drift them apart even more or get them close?

⍟ Alternate Universe (see Introductions) ⍟ After "Avengers: Endgame" - Before "Falcon and the Winter Soldier"

→ Bucky Barnes x OC ←

⊱┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⊰

→ The Story on WattPad

⊱┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⊰

Introduction & Cast

Prologue

I. Welcome to the Avengers Compound

II. Meeting the Avengers

III. Training accidents

⊱┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⊰

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

Text

「 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 」

「Ｊｅｓｓ－Ｕｎｋｏｍｍｅｎｔｉｅｒｔ」

𝕊𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕟 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕟 ⇢ One Shots

⇢ FanFiction I. "Heartbeats"-Masterlist

⊱┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⊰

𝔹𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕪 𝔹𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕖𝕤 ⇢ One Shots

⇢ FanFiction I. "I didn't have a choice!"-Masterlist

⊱┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈⊰

0 notes

jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

Text

[15] Naked bodies

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

CW: Smut incoming. Those two lovebirds didn't even had their first official date but already ended up naked in her bed? Hope you're excited for this one. Because I was so scared to write it. Never wrote a smut scene before...

November 28th 2022 - Atlanta Sebastian and y/n sat on her dinner table and enjoyed the Chinese food. She hadn't had much food so far today as she was buried deep in her jealousy while crying like a newborn baby.

„It's so nice that you were worried and brought me food. I needed it." she said with chopsticks in her right hand. He was holding a fork as he was not able to eat properly with chopsticks.

„Well, I was kind of selfish. Brought me something as well." he shrugged before putting a fully loaded fork in his mouth. While he was chewing the mixture of noddles, vegetables, egg and a bite of chicken, Sebastian was observing her closely.

Her eyes were still red and the nose looked dry and red as well. But although she still looked like a mess she finally seemed happy again. Or at least happier than before.

They enjoyed their dinner together in silence - both of them focused on fighting against the starving feeling in there stomach. When they won y/n grabbed the takeaway plastic containers and brought them into the kitchen.

On her way back to the living room she went to the bathroom and washed her face. She scared herself by looking in the mirror.

„Holy shit he saw me like THAT all the time and didn't run away. Even kissed me back? He is amazing!" she thought while trying to cool down the swelling on her eyes and nose with some cold water.

After a few minutes she looked in the mirror again - nothing really had changed but she felt better. So she headed back to the living room where Sebastian was still sitting on the dinner table with his phone in his hand.

He looked up to y/n and smiled at her. He saw that she tried to get rid of all the swelling and redness in her face but it didn't work that good. She looked beautiful in his eyes nevertheless.

"Let's head over to the couch. It's way more comfortable than the chairs" y/n said and made her way to the mentioned couch. He followed her and saw that she literally jumped on the couch like a wrestler - landing on her back. He laughed out loud and got his body in a starting-to-run-position. Like a footballer that was waiting for someone to tackle.

"Look Out. I'm coming!" he screamed and started running towards the couch. She opened her eyes wide in shock and managed to get up in a sitting position before he jumped onto the couch right next to her.

Both of them were laughing so hard that their abs hurt.

"You're a dork!" she said and booped her index finger on his nose. He smiled what made the cute crunches around his nose appear. She could feel butterflies in her stomach.

He got up into a sitting position as well and turned his body to face y/n. He reached for her hands and cupped them in his. His thumb circled tender over her skin. It was a brief moment of intimacy between them and she enjoyed every second of it. But she wanted more. Because of the fight between them she had realized that she wanted him so bad. That she wanted to be his. Her feelings for him became clearer every second and all she could think about was make-up sex.

So it was y/n to do the first step when she freed her hands from his grip, grabbed his face and took him into a desperate kiss. He could feel lust and passion in it, so he bit her bottom lip. She pushed her tongue between his parted lips in response and chased his tongue with hers. It was almost playful.

He slowly pulled her closer to him and felt her hardened nipple through her shirt.

He wanted her. He needed her. He was craving her since they had their first kiss an hour ago. But wasn't it too early for them to be that intimidate? When they didn't even had their official first date?

In opposite to him she didn't care about something irrelevant like if it was too early or not, as she pulled off her shirt over her head. This was more than a clear sign that she wanted it as much as him. His fingers helped her open her bra and admitted the breasts that were hiding underneath. They were round and beautiful with small and hard nipples.

With a small movement he gently squeezed one of her nipples between his thump and index finger - making her squeak in a pitched voice.

He then made his way down to her jeans, opening the zipped and pulled it down her legs - leaving her sitting in front of him only in her panties. As he was frozen in observing her almost naked body, she pulled his face up to hers and kissed him again with a lot of passion. He leaned over to her without any pressure, making her upper body fall into the cushions of the couch so that she was laying in front of him.

Sebastian's gaze wandered over her body in awe and he licked his bottom lip. He could feel his cock twitch - screaming for release.

He managed to lay next to her, bis body turned in her direction so that his right arm was free to caress around her belly button while he was kissing down her arm with his lips.

When his fingertips reached down to ghost over her inner thigh y/n could feel goosebumps all over her body. Her panties were soaking wet as everything she could think about was that she wanted him to fuck her.

She could feel his fingertips reach the waistband of her pantys and she couldn't help herself from moaning with a low voice. This was permission enough for him to slip his fingers under her pantys and circle her clit. His touch on her sensitive cluster of nerves made her moan his name louder and her back arche.

He smiled as he heard her moan her name.

Then he gently pulled his finger away - ripping her panties apart. She looked at him with wide eyes in shock and he chuckled a small "Oops, Sorry! I'm gonna buy you a new one." back to her.

His head made his way down her body with kisses - leaving a tray of saliva on its way. He reached her inner thigh and gently sucked on it before he made his way to her core. Just a second later his tongue found the spot that his fingers left a few moments ago and y/n's eyes fell back in her head. She gripped into the sheets next to her while the man on top of her made miracles happen with his tongue.

She felt the heat spread under her skin when he took his index finger and slowly pushed it between her wet folds. He was fucking her with one finger while he was still sucking on her clit - flicking his tongue around like he knew exactly what to do to make a woman fall apart.

Right when she got used to it, he buried another finger in her pussy - making her stretch a little. Maybe he wanted to test if she was able to take his dick. But she wasn't able to think about it properly as he was slowly fucking her with his fingers – making her brain unable to work. He stopped licking on her clit and placed his upper body next to hers while still thrusting his fingers deep inside of her.

Y/N moaned like an animal and gripped into his hair - scratching over his scalp. He let out a whine and y/n loosened the grip in his hair. She didn't want to hurt him but this was just collateraldamage in the heat of the battle.

His lips reached one of her nipples and he roughly sucked on it.

"Seb, I'm gonna cum." she screamed at him - making him intensify his movements with his fingers.

"Yeah, sweetheart. Cum for me!" he groaned at her.

Seconds later she could feel the knot in her stomach burst into pieces as she was falling over the edge. He just needed to fuck her with his fingers to make her feel like that. She was breathing heavy. Thisman was all she ever wanted. All she ever imagined.

He pulled his fingers out of her and leaned his upper body over hers - both of his hands on each side of her head.

Their gazes met and he could still see some lust in her green eyes.

"I want you to come on my cock again" he winked at her and grabbed her by her waist. He pulled himself up in a standing position and gently lifted y/n body with his strong arms. She wrapped her legs around his torso and her arms around his neck while he carried her naked body all the way to her bedroom. The couch was comfortable but not big enough to be as flexible as he wanted to be with the upcoming action.

On their way to the bedroom they shared desperate kisses and she could feel him bit on her bottom lip. His eyes were dark from lust and she could feel the bulge in his jeans from his hard cock just a few inches below her core.

It was a miracle that they reached the bedroom without being hurt, because he bounced himself and y/n against a wall, a piece of furniture and the door frame several times. She would get some bruises from that he she didn't care about it at the moment.

He threw her backwards on the bed, crawled over her and parted here legs gently with his knee. Then he grabbed both of her hands and pinned them above her head with a tight grip. Remembering her back-story he looked in her eyes with a pleading look. Letting her know that he won't do anything she wasn't ready to do.

Y/N gave him a small nod before he started to suck on her earlop.

"Do you really want to do this?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yes, Seb. I really want this! I'm on birth control by the way. No need for a condom." she whimpered and let out a small moan.

As response she reached down his body and gently placed her palm on the bulge in his jeans. He let out a small moan before kissing down from her neck to her collarbone. She could hear him moan again when she tried to unzip his pants with one hand - not really successful to be honest.

He grabbed her wrist with one of his hands and placed it next to her body. Then he whispered to her: "Don't be too greedy. You will get him soon."

"Please, Seb. I need your cock so bad." she pleaded.

She could feel him smile on her sensitive skin as his mouth made his way down to her breast - gently sucking on the nipple while his hand massaged the other one. She arched her back in pleasure. She was wet for him and wanted him to fuck her as soon as possible. Without even realizing it, her hand went down to her core to circle her clit.

He moved his body over her in a way that she couldn't reach herself again.

"No, sweetheart. This is my job." he whispered to her while looking in her eyes. He was teasing her and she didn't like it. But he seemed to enjoy her pleading for his cock because she could feel the bulge grow even bigger.

Then he finally pulled down the zipper on his jeans and let them fall down his legs. He was only in black boxers - but got rid of them a few seconds later.

His cock was big and thick and she wondered if it would fit inside of her. She could see that he was almost fully hard so she decided to reach down again and wrapped her fingers around his cock. There was already precum on the tip of his cock and she swiped her thumb around it before she gave him a few strokes.

She could feel her wetness dripping down her thighs as she imagined his length inside of her. She let out a whine while increasing the movements with her hand.

His eyes were closed, his head had fallen back and she could feel his cock flex between her fingers.

Suddenly he turned his hips to the side - telling her that she needed to stop working on his cock. He parted her legs even wider and brought himself in the right position.

Before pushing his hard cock between her folds he looked up to y/n and asked one more time:

"Are you sure?"

She nodded in agreement and he slowly entered her dripping cunt. She let out a loud whine before she felt herself stretching for him. It took a few seconds as they needed to adjust the angle a little until it was comfortable. She felt like his cock was completing her. Like it was meant for her.

Sebastian started to move his hips in a slow pace as they were still adjusting to each other. But after a few thrusts with their hips, they finally found the same pace and they were both fucking in rhythm.

The room was filled with skin slapping on each other and moans as they were chasing their climax together.

"You're turning me on so much, it won't take long to come, sweetheart." he said to her between his moans. His lips moved to the side of her neck - sucking on it and leaving some hickeys. He giggled when he saw them - marking her as his.

She responded with a tight grip in his hair and moaning his name in a way that made a shiver running down his spine.

They were both close so they speeded up their pace - adding the sound of short breathing to the sex symphony that was already heard inside of y/n's bedroom.

She arched her back again, toes curled in the sheets as she was really near her second climax. With one hard thrust of his hips his cock slid against her g-spot again and made her fall over the edge while screaming his name. Her eyes were falling back into her head and she gripped her fingernails into his back now - leaving red marks in the shape of crescent moons.

It took him just a few more thrust until she could feel him spill inside of her - growling like an animal. His movements slowed down as he milked every last drop of his seed but he even when he was done he stayed inside of her for a few moments.

Bodies still intertwined in harmony, their gazes locked with sparkles in both of their eyes. He kissed her gently on her lips before pulling out and falling on his back next to her. They were covered in sweat and still not able to take deep breaths.

She turned on her side and looked at him with a smile.

"That was freaking awesome" she chuckled and wrapped her arm around his bare and sweaty chest.

"I think you need to change your sheets." he answered and let his fingertips caress over her back.

"Yeah. I'll worry about that later." she mumbled into his body. She was fully exhausted. Getting drunk yesterday night, crying a lot, a fight with Sebastian and then make-up sex afterwards was a lot for just a single day. Her eyes were heavy and she wasn't able to keep herself awake.

Sebastian was tired as well but he managed to wrap the blanket around their naked bodies before he closed his eyes and fell asleep immediately.

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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[14] Thunderstorm

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist → The story on Wattpad

November 28th 2022 - Atlanta On his way to set Sebastian went to a Starbucks to get a vanilla latte for y/n and an Americano with oat milk for himself. He also decided to buy some of the big and chewy chocolate chip cookies to share with y/n. She would love them because they were the sweetest cookies he every had in his entire life.

After the weekend in New York he was excited to see her again. He really missed her and he was sure she missed him as well. They texted a few times during the weekend, but he was very busy so he didn't had as much time for her as he wanted to. After the conversation with Christina on Saturday he was even more passionate about whatever he had with y/n. He wanted to explore their relationship together and figure out where it can go.

When he arrived on set he made his way straight to the hair and make-up trailer. He was scheduled first today as he needed some VFX make-up for the scenes this week. This week they were shooting some scenes of Bucky in a hospital after a mission abroad gone wrong. This was kind of a turning point for Bucky in the story so Seb was really excited to shoot the scenes.

He entered the trailer with a loud "Good Morning sunsh..." but immediately stopped when he saw the black-haired woman in front of him that was obviously not y/n.

"Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you to be here, Jennifer. Didn't want to scream at you, sorry again!" he mumbled while scratching his neck with the hand that was not holding the tray and the paper bag with cookies.

"It's alright, Sebastian. Y/n called me this morning and said that she is not feeling good and won't come to work today. That's why I am here to do the make-up on you." Jennifer answered and offered him a smile.

He didn't feel like smiling. Y/N ill? He was concerned because she didn't text him or let him know that she won't be here this morning. How ill was she?

"Oh no. Did she tell you what's wrong with her?" he asked Jennifer, whose smile disappeared as she saw his concerned expression.

"Not in detail. She said that she was feeling dizzy and queasy. She hopes to be back within this week, but she wasn't sure. I told her to see a doctor if it's not better tomorrow."

He nodded and mumbled a "Mhm-mhm" as response. Jennifer raised an eyebrow - unsure why Sebastian was reacting like that. She saw him carrying a tray with two coffees and a paper bag. She pointed on it and said: "You brought me coffee?" with a laughter to brighten up his mood.

"Actually it was for y/n, but you can have it. It's a vanilla latte and it's very sweet." he answered with a little smile on his lips and hold the tray in her direction so she could grab the coffee cup.

"Not my favorite - but it will do it. Thank you!"

"Oh and here's a cookie for you as well." he said and showed her the now open paper bag that was filled with two large chocolate chip cookies.

"Wow! I love chocolate chip cookies, thanks. Y/n should be out of order more often, so that I can steal her breakfast." she laughed and he also smiled - but it wasn't an honest smile. He was still worried and decided to text y/n while Jennifer was working on his fake wounds. Bucky was beat up pretty bad, so it would take a while to turn Sebastian into Bucky.

Sebastian Good morning, sunshine. Hope you're better soon. Let me know if I can do anything to cheer you up. Read 7:08 am

He put his phone down on the desk in front of him - screen down. He would hear it buzz when she had answered him and he didn't want Jennifer to read his texts.

Jennifer was working on all the fake wounds in his face and it reminded him of his role as Nick Fowler in 'The 355' that came out in the beginning of the year. Nick was also beat-up really bad and he had a lot of fake wounds (including a gun shot wound) for this movie.

Jennifer excused herself as she needed to get some more fake blood and he grabbed his phone so see if y/n had answered and he just didn't hear the buzz. He was talking with Jennifer a lot about literally everything. She was a nice person and easy to talk with. Y/n hadn't answered his text although she had read them. He decided to send her another text to hopefully make her smile:

Sebastian

Jennifer makes me look like Nick Fowler again this week. But this time I am not wearing a fancy blue suit as Bucky has a hospital gown. Can you image the Winter Soldier in a hospital gown? Can't believe you miss this! This is amazing blackmail material, y/n!

Read 8:26 am

Jennifer came back after a few minutes and finished his make-up. It was around 9:30 am and he went to the hospital set to start shooting. Not much work to do for him today as Bucky was lying literally just in a hospital bed with Sam and Sharon having an conversation by his side. The next days will be more interesting for him as they will shoot scenes when Bucky is awake and discusses with Sam about their new enemies as well as when he was discharged from the hospital.

During their lunch break Anthony told Emily a lot of embarrassing moments from their shooting of 'Falcon and the Winter Soldier' in 2019 and 2020. Although Emily was in the show she just had four days on set as she was not having many scenes with the two guys. So she didn't knew all the funny stuff that happened.

"When there is someone like Mackie on set, it doesn't feel like you're working. It feels like a school trip to the zoo or somewhere else where the teacher desperately try to not lose one of the students. And Mackie is that ONE STUDENT who drives the teachers crazy all the time. But he's so much fun to work with." Seb said after laughing too hard for the last minutes. His abs were burning but he didn't care. He missed working with Mackie.

Right before the end of their lunch break he checked his phone again to see that y/n hadn't respond at all. He was worried. Was she too weak to answer him? He decided to get her some food after work and bring it to her apartment to check if she was okay. Maybe she needed some medicine as well.

The rest of the day went by really slow. He caught himself checking his phone between every take - just to be sadder every time he realized that she still hadn't answered his texts. He send her another: "Are you okay? I am worried!" in the afternoon - she read his message but didn't respond.

He was really happy when they were finally finished with the scene so he rushed to his trailer and changed his costume to his own clothes: a black jeans and a plain with t-shirt. He put on a camel brown jacket with a fluffy collar that he was wearing as Frank in 'Endings, Beginnings'. He loved that jacket because it was stylish and comfy at the same time so he was really happy when the costume crew let him keep it after the movie was done.

On his way to y/n apartment he got Chinese food - some noodles with a lot of vegetables, egg and chicken. He hoped that she wasn't still feeling greasy so that she could eat at least a little bit. He decided to buy some plain bread sticks in a grocery store nearby in case she wasn't able to eat the Chinese food.

He arrived in front of y/n apartment complex at 6 pm, stood in front of the door and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure what to expect but he was worried and he really wanted to check if y/n was doing okay. He entered the building and managed to go to y/n's floor without ringing her doorbell as one of her neighbors just left the building when he stood in front of the door. He walked down the corridor and waited in front of her apartment door.

Another deep breath. Then he rang the doorbell.

A few seconds pasted and nothing happened. Maybe she wasn't at home. Maybe she was with Susan because she needed someone to look after her. Or she was asleep.

He rang the doorbell again - still no response from the other side of the door.

So he decided to knock at the door and said with a loud voice: "Hey y/n, it's Sebastian. Please open the door, when you're at home."

A few seconds later he heard some sounds from behind the door what told him that someone was there. Maybe she was fallen asleep and he woke her with his screaming. He immediately felt guilty.

"What do you want?"

Y/N voice came from across the still closed door - she sounded more angry than exhausted from being ill. He was confused but maybe her voice just sounded different because they were talking through a closed door.

"I brought you some food. I am worried. You hadn't respond to me the entire day. Jennifer said that you're not feeling good and I wanted to check if you're okay."

There was no response at first but he heard her moving behind the door.

"Well, I am good. Still talking to you, so I am alive. You can leave now." she answered in a lower but still angry voice. Now he was sure that she was angry. He could hear the tremble in her voice.

"I brought you some Chinese food. You need to eat something so that you're better soon." he said and tried to cover his concerned voice. He was not sure what was going on. Maybe she was angry because he woke her. People are usually grumpy when they are disturbed while sleeping.

He heard a very loud sigh from the other side before she unlocked the door and opened it. Her face was pale like she was snow white, but her eyes were puffy and red. It looked like she had cried a lot in the last hours.

Her appearance made him worry even more as he didn't know what the hell had happened to her. All he wanted to do was pulling her into a tight hug and tell her that everything was going to be okay soon. That he was there for her and would look after her until she was feeling better.

"Are you really pretending like nothing happened or are you just really really dumb, Sebastian?"

"What do you mean?" he said with honest confusion.

"What do I mean? What do I mean? WHAT DO I MEAN?" she mimicked him - her voice getting louder every time. She wasn't able to hide her anger anymore and she didn't want to. She wanted to let him feel and realize that he fucked up big time. Unfortunately Sebastian didn't had any clue what the heck he did wrong. It was like a scene from a comedy movie.

"Listen, y/n. I really don't know why you are angry and what happened. Can we just go inside and talk about it please?" he pleaded.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to have this conversation with him now. It still hurt too much and she knew that she couldn't be neutral in a fight. This Instagram post caught her unprepared and it felt like her whole world fell apart. She really liked Sebastian and he even asked her for an official date. Things were good between them. But one weekend in New York and everything changed. Christina and Sebastian - in love with each other?

Are they dating now? And why did he asked her for a date then? She was so confused. And angry. She didn't want to see, text or hear Sebastian and Christina until she was able to clear her mind, but there he was - standing in front of her with an honest confusion on his face.

And she hated him even more for not knowing how much he fucked up.

After what felt like a lifetime for Sebastian, y/n sighed and stepped aside to let him come inside of her apartment.

He went straight to the living room - closely followed by a silent y/n. He could only hear her sniffle. As he turned around and pointed on the bag of food in his hand she turned her head towards the dinner table to let him know he should place it there.

She was already sitting on the turquoise couch with a tissue box and a lot of already used tissues on the coffee table in front of her. Next to the tissue box he could see one bottle of Baileys and one bottle Tequila.

To not invade her personal space he grabbed a chair from the dinner table and sat in front of her - the coffee table in between them. He observed her closely and realized that she must have cried even more than he thought before. He felt guilty again - although he was still confused why she cried.

He looked at her but her gaze was on her thighs as she was avoiding him. They sat in an awkward silence - that was only broke by her sniffles from time to time and his heavy breathing.

Right before he wanted to say something she raised her head and locked her eyes with his. He could see tears fill her eyes and he hated seeing her like that. He considered to jump up and hug her until she feels better - but he thought that this wouldn't be what she wanted right now. Although (and Sebastian obviously didn't knew that) y/n didn't want anything more than being in his arms - forever.

"Are you dating now?" was the only thing she could say - the tears falling down her cheeks while she was speaking.

"Listen, y/n. I still don't know what you mean. Who am I dating? What happened? Why are you crying?" he answered desperately.

Her tears stopped falling as her face became angry again. She stood up from the couch, raised her arm to point at him with her index finger. Her voice was loud and harsh as she almost screamed at him.

"Are you kidding me? Seems like you had a lot of fun with her in New York. Confessing your love to each other, going out together. Did you even sleep with her?"

"Christina. She is talking about Christina" he finally realized. But before he had the chance to explain everything to y/n and defend himself she continued her rant even louder.

"Why the hell you even asked me on a date? Why did you come over to cook with me. Cuddle with me. Is this how you do it? Having someone to hang around and maybe even fuck when you're filming abroad? But now you finally have Christina and you can be a happy family. Go fuck her and marry her and start a family with her. Like you could have done it years ago at Rutgers."

Tears were running down her face again after she literally spitted out every word. She needed a few sobs and deep breaths as a break and it looked like she was having trouble breathing through her swollen nose. He wasn't sure if this was his cue to say something so he waited a few seconds if she wanted to continue. And yeah - she wasn't done with him yet.

"I am so fucking stupid. I really thought we had some kind of special connection. The tension between us, the sparkles in your eyes when you looked into mine. I really thought I am something special for you. But I am just a naive fool. This didn't mean anything to you. One weekend in New York and everything we had is just - boom - gone!" she said while her hands made a gesture of an exploding bomb.

Wasn't it while she was ranting on him - he would have thought that her way of expression herself with so many gestures looked very cute and adorable.

Before she could continue with insulting him and also herself he took the chance to say something himself.

"Y/N! Listen to me. I am not dating Christina and I don't have any intentions to do so in the future. Nothing happened between me and her. I promise!" he lifted himself up from the chair and tried to grab her hands to comfort her. But she pulled back her hands very quick and a glance of fear were in her eyes. He remembered Christina's words and pulled back his own hands to raise them in front of his body as apology. He sat back down on the chair and y/n fell back in the cushions of the couch. She was still sobbing - but it looked like she was able to finally breath normal again.

"But why the Instagram post?" she said with a still angry voice.

"I don't know. We thought it was just funny that after 20 years we realized that we were in love with each other all the time but none of us was brave enough to tell the other. We were just not meant to be." he said with a shy smile on his face.

He tried to look into her eyes but she was looking at her thighs. There was silence between them again and he could feel the awkward tension in the room.

"I am so stupid. Oh my god. I am so sorry Sebastian. I overreacted and didn't even gave you the chance to explain yourself. I... stupid..." he couldn't hear the rest of her words as she had her hands in front of her face and was crying again.

He made his way to sit next to her on the couch and put his arm around her shoulder as she was still crying and sobbing - with shallow breathing.

"Shhh, y/n it's okay. It's my fault. I fucked up. I was to dumb to realize that this photo and the caption wasn't a good idea." he tried to comfort her with a calm voice, slowly caressed his fingertips over her upper body.

It seemed like it helped to calm her down. Suddenly she leaned into him, her arms entwined his chest. He could feel his shirt soaking with tears but he didn't care. He had her in his arms again. That's all he wanted for the last days.

He was still caressing her back when he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

A brief moment of tenderness between them that made y/n feel butterflies inside of her stomach.

She let him go from the tight hug she gave him and looked at him. She was surprised when she saw some tears fill his beautiful steel-blue eyes. He quickly blinked them away and smiled. Then he cubed her face with both hands and wiped away her tears with both of his thumbs.

Her heart was galloping fast in her chest and she could feel that his was too. Two hearts beating in the same rhythm. Their glazed locked at each other for - what felt like - eternity before he said:

"I never wanted to hurt you. You're the only one I want to go on a date with."

His smile was even wider than before and she couldn't help herself to smile back at him. Pale skin, puffy red eyes but a wide smile.

He let go of her face and placed both of his hands at her waist - her body still close to his. Her green eyes looked even greener with all the red skin bordering them. She was beautiful - even when she was looking like an absolute mess.

Suddenly she closed her eyes, leaned in and places her lips on his.

It took him by surprise and so he needed a second to close his eyes and kiss her back. Big fireworks exploded in both of their stomachs when she put her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. His tongue gently touched her bottom lip - asking for permission. Her lips parted and gave him access to her own tongue. They met and gently discovered the other one.

They broke the kiss in urgency to breath and y/n leaned back. She smiled at him and he smiled back at her. There was no need for any words - the tension between them sparkled like it was a lightning in a thunderstorm.

"I can't wait to go on a date with you, Sebastian Stan." she broke the silence.

He leaned in and gave her another gentle kiss on the lips.

"Do you want some food?" he clapped his hand and looked at her.

"Oh yeah. I am starving. Being a jealous little bitch is exhausting." she chuckled and turned around to head to the dinner table to grab the Chinese food. He followed her closely.

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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SEBASTIAN STAN on the 2022 Emmys red carpet

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jess-unkommentiert · 2 years ago

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[13] A weekend in New York (Seb's POV)

-> Heartbeats 💕 Masterlist

The chapter shows the events of the weekend from Sebastian's POV. That's why it starts on Friday - two days before Christina posted the photo on Instagram.

Friday, November 25th 2022 – New York Sebastian arrived at JFK Airport in the evening. He had to shoot two more scenes today, before leaving to his hometown for a photo shoot and some press stuff for his movie „Sharper". This should have been released in October but was postponed to the beginning of December because of delays in post-production.

He was excited for both of his appointments although his insecurity made him a little anxious while thinking about the photo shoot. For a moment he had thought about asking y/n to come to New York with him but he decided that this would have been weird.

Rushing their relationship would be wrong and could ruin it - but he enjoyed every second with her and he knew that she would made him feel comfortable during the photo shoot.

But now he had to go through this alone.

Speaking of y/n: he thought about meeting Christina this weekend to ask her a few things about y/n. He didn't want to ruin things with her so asking for some advises would be great.

Sitting in a cap on his way from the airport to his apartment he grabbed his phone and texted Christina:

Sebastian Hi Chrissy, I'm in NYC this weekend. Wanna hang out tomorrow evening?

Christina Hi Seb. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you are good. Of course I would like to hang out with you. Come over to New Brunswick and we can enter the bar again, where we used to get drunk as teenagers.

Sebastian Sounds good. I'll be around at 8:00 pm tomorrow right after my photo shoot.

Christina Okay. Can't wait to see you, Seb!

Sebastian Can't wait, too, Chrissy.

He was kind of nervous, because he didn't know how much y/n had shared with her friend so far. Maybe he could go full spy mode and get to know if she liked him the same way he liked her.

He felt the tension between them and she was all cuddly last weekend, but that didn't mean that she had fallen for him. Maybe she was this cuddly with all of her male friends.

On the other hand she agreed to go a date with him next weekend. Their first official date. He needed it to be perfect and he can't wait for cuddling with her while watching one of his favorite movies - again.

Maybe he would even be brave enough to kiss her. He couldn't nearly keep himself from doing that on Tuesday morning. It felt like it was the right thing to do but he didn't want to scare her.

Another thing he needs to ask Christina was about the pace of their relationship. He wanted to do it right. Not too fast and not too slow. He was so scared of losing her again.

That woman amazed him on their first meeting and he couldn't be happier when he heard that y/n was part of the hair and make-up crew for Cap4. He even convinced Anthony to write an E-Mail to Bryan that he (Anthony) wished to work with y/n in that movie. That's why Bryan and Jennifer gave y/n the responsibility for the men and Susan for the women.

She was only in his life for two weeks (we're not counting the first meeting a few months ago now) but he couldn't imagine living without her. She made him laugh and feel happy again. After all the pain he had been through because of the fake PR relationship with that Spanish model and a crazy fake break-up thing with the other actress, he was even more anxious as he was before.

But every moment he was with y/n it felt like his anxiety was gone. Like she was the medicine. The way that little crinkles appear on her mouth and next to her beautiful green eyes when she smiles, made him feel butterflies in his stomach. Every fucking time.

"You can't ruin that, Sebastian! Don't be an idiot. Finding someone like her is hard." he thought.

That's why he needed some advises from Christina and was happy that she agreed to meet him on Saturday.

Things were a bit complicated between them in the last year of university. That's why he was more than surprised when she asked him to come to her birthday party. He rescheduled everything to be there. To maybe talk to her about everything that had happened. But there were too many people on her party that evening. And he was with Mackie. And y/n.

Maybe they had a chance to talk about that tomorrow as well.

The cap stopped in front of his apartment complex in Soho, he grabbed his bag, paid the driver and left the car. When he was gone for a longer time some of his friends were living in his apartment a few days a week to be sure that everything is okay. Since his address was leaked a few years ago he found more paparazzi and fans waiting in front of his home than he liked to. He was always grateful for his amazing fans but his home should have been his safe place. Where he can be as rare and vulnerable as he wanted to be without being scared someone would see him crying on the fire escape.

He entered his apartment and put his backpack on the counter of the kitchen that was right next to the entrance. It wasn't a big kitchen but enough for him as he was not even able to cook properly. Thanks to the american food culture and he living in a huge city as NYC he was able to find food everywhere. Even when he was on a diet for a specific role.

His apartment was a maisonette that means he had stairs that lead to another level within his apartment. The second level above wasn't huge as it only contained his bedroom. He knew that he would probably need a different apartment when he will be married someday, planning to start a family. He was 40 years old and still single. That's why his mum was always complaining that she would never have grandchildren. But he just hadn't found the right woman yet.

The long day of shooting and the 2,5 h flight from Atlanta to New York exhausted him, so he decided to fall straight into his bed.

~~~

Saturday, November 26th 2022 – New York The next morning he woke up (without an alarm) at around 6:30 am, jumped out of bed and made himself a coffee. He texted his personal trainer Don Saladino if he had time to workout with him and to his surprise Don answered immediately that Seb could come around to his house. Don had not only his own home-gym, he had a whole building (called 'The barn') next to his actual house where he can train. That place was awesome.

So Sebastian got a rental car (as he was living right in the center of NYC without a parking slot or garage he didn't have his own car) to drive to Don's house which was a bit outside of NYC.

They had an amazing and sweaty workout session and sat down in Don's living room to talk about everything for over an hour afterwards. Don wasn't only his personal trainer - he became his friend over the last years.

The photo shoot was scheduled for 4:00 pm in an office in Lower Manhattan so he was able to go there by walking - which was a relief. New York traffic was horror.

He said Goodbye to Don and his family and made his way back to his apartment. He arrived at 1:30 pm so it was lunch time. As he didn't want to be bloated during the shooting he decided to get a light salad in a 'salad bar' (yes there are restaurants in NYC that only sell salads!) right down the street. He ate his salad at home and as he saw that there were bell peppers in his salad he felt the urge to text y/n.

Sebastian Ate bell peppers today. Totally didn't taste what color they were. Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Heading out to my photo shoot in an hour. I am excited!

Y/N I am pretty sure you will do amazing during the photo shoot. Have a good weekend in my favorite city. I miss it.

Sebastian I am pretty sure NYC misses you to. So do I. (Message deleted)

He sighed and threw his phone in his backpack. It was time to go to the photo shoot and he didn't want to think about y/n too much as he was scared of losing his focus while shooting. It was his job and he wanted to be good at it. On his way to the loft office he decided to buy a coffee at a Starbucks nearby. He was known as a 'coffee addict' as he was having a cup of coffee with him most of the time - no matter if it was in the morning or in the evening.

The shooting went well - he felt more comfortable than he expected and some of photos even in his eyes were pretty good.

The photograph had send him some of the photos on his phone and some behind the scenes footage. He was confident enough to post some of the footage on his Instagram and put his phone back into the backpack as usually his Instagram notifications explode after he posted literally anything.

He went back to his rental car and texted Christina that he was on his way to New Brunswick now. As he was a bit early Christina offered him to come to her house before they head out to the bar together.

He arrived at Christina's house at 6:55 pm, parked the car in the driveway and rang the doorbell. Christina opened the door and gave him a hug. They went into her living room where Christina offered Sebastian a drink. He needed some alcohol to calm his nerves before he was going to ask Christina about y/n.

After a little bit of small talk Sebastian didn't want to hide around the bushes any longer and decided to confront Christina with the topic he urgently needed to talk about.

„Listen Chrissy, there is a specific topic I want to talk with you about"

Christina looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed. She didn't know what to expect but she had a slight idea.

„You know you can talk to me about everything, Seb. Go ahead"

He sighed and could feel his insecurity and anxiety grow inside of him. But he needed to be brave now.

„You know that I work with y/n for the current movie and we're going to have our first official date next weekend. I wanted to ask you if there is something I should know about her and how I should handle the whole dating situation. I really like her but I don't want to ruin it with her."

His body language portrayed his insecurity and he was not even able to look Christina in the eyes. She had heard from y/n that they were on a karaoke night and that she thought Sebastian was „a really nice and funny guy" and she remembered her heart eyes after the birthday party. But y/n hadn't told her that the are officially dating, what surprised her.

„What do you mean with 'official' first date?" she asked and tried not to let him know how much she already knew.

„Well we were on a karaoke night with Sam, Ann my assistant, y/n and Susan who is another hair and make-up artist at the movie. And.."

He wasn't able to continue as Christina immediately said: „Wait Ann? I thought Ethan was your assistant?!"

„Ethan and Mina are expecting their second child. So we decided that Ethan needs more time for his family. We chose Ann together as second assistant. It works good so far!" he answered smiling. Christina nodded without saying any further so that he could continue with the explanation.

„Anyways. Two days after the karaoke night I met y/n at a grocery store and I took the chance to invite myself for dinner that day. We had good food and wine and ended up cuddling on the couch while watching 'Notting Hill'. Well at least I was watching - she fell asleep after a few minutes." he smiled while remembering y/n's warm body resting on his chest. Christina saw his face expressions and exclaim:

„Sebastian Stan. You really fell for that women!"

He raised his arm and scratched his neck while making a grimace. „Yeah, I think I do like her a lot" he whispered more to himself than to Christina but she still heard him.

He finally looked into Christina's eyes and asked the question he wanted to ask right from the beginning: „As you guys are very good friends, I wanted to ask you if you have probably talked about her and me and if there is a slight chance that she likes me a little bit."

She waited a few seconds to answer and it felt like a lifetime until Sebastian finally heard her voice: „Well, after my birthday party we talked about you. She really liked spending time with you on that evening. But as I know how you've been at Rutgers... I told her that you were always a playboy and I didn't want her to be another of your trophies."

He was shocked when he heard what she said. It was true that he didn't take it very serious with girls and women during college. And even afterwards. He had a lot of short-time relationships, he even - and he was not proud of it - cheated on some of his girlfriends.

But since he became older he was looking for 'the one'. The one to stay with his whole life. The one to marry and to start a family with. The one to be excited to come home every day until he was dead.

Christina saw the shocked expression on his face and that he wasn't able to answer, so she quickly added: „But maybe this was just jealousy talking out of me." she looked on the ground - unable to look into his blue eyes.

„Wait. What do you mean... jealousy?" Sebastian stumbled.

„Don't you remember that night right before you went to London for your exchange semester?"

„No, I don't. What do you mean? Chrissy please tell me!" he said and took her hand into his - trying to comfort her as she was clearly uncomfortable with this conversation.

„The last night before you went to London we were in our favorite bar. And we all had way to much alcohol so I was finally brave enough to share with you that I was badly in love with you." she said in a low voice. It felt like she was ashamed for her feelings from over 20 years ago.

„I don't remember that. Maybe I really had too much alcohol" he chuckled - trying to lighten her mood.

She ignored his comment and continued: „That's why I took double the courses while you were in London. So that I had the chance to graduate before your return. To never see you again."

That made him really sad. They were always good friends and he never really figured out why that changed while he was in London. Now he knew. And his answer wouldn't make things better between them:

„Well. Guess we had bad timing then. Because I was head over heels for you from the first day I met you until the day I left to London. Maybe we should have just talked about it with each other.."

Her jaw was on the floor when they looked each other in the eyes. They could have been with each other all the time? Could have been married by now and even having kids? And they ruined it just because none of them was brave enough to share their feelings sober? That's a shame.

Maybe they just were not meant for each other.

Sebastian saw Christina chuckle a little before her chuckle grow into a huge laughter and her expression smoothed.

„Well Seb, we were falling in love with each other but never managed to date. What a shame. We could have pretty children by now. Nevermind. It's the past. It's over. Now we need to make sure you and y/n don't do the same mistake and not mention your feelings for each other!" she said and her face turned into serious mode again.

„Yeah, I really want to make things right with her. She is very special." he said with sparkles in his eyes. He couldn't hide his feelings for y/n anymore and he didn't want to.

„She is. And she is not complicated at all. She has kind of a tragic story with one of her ex-boyfriends but she needs to tell you that on her own. So just treat her well, Seb. Don't touch her or grab her arm or waist in a fight to prevent her from running away. That is the worst thing you could do to her. You will understand once you know the story. That's my only advice to you. I know you long enough to know that you will give her all the love she deserves, that you will care for her and protect her. You won't ruin things with her, Seb. I am pretty sure. You two will be a cute couple!" she said and now grabbed his hand while looking in his eyes. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

The story of her ex-boyfriend made him curious, but he had an idea what this was about. He decided to let her tell him that story when she was ready to do. All of his anxiety was gone, now that he knew that Christina believed in them.

After their conversation they headed towards the little bar in town and enjoyed the rest of the evening. As Seb had to drive back to NYC he didn't had any alcohol besides the one drink at Christina's house. That chatted, the laughed, they danced. It was an amazing evening.

He was still smiling all the way back to his apartment. He and y/n would have a realistic chance. Now it was up to him to treat her well and he didn't plan to do anything else.

~~~

Sunday, November 27th 2022 – New York Sunday was full of press stuff for his movie 'Sharper' that included a lot of interviews - a few of them in person and other ones via zoom.

His flight back to Atlanta was scheduled for 6 pm so he was going to the airport right from the hotel room the agency booked for them to do the interviews. Ethan and Mina would take care of his apartment for the next weeks so he texted his cleaning team to clean the apartment before his friends would arrive some when next week.

The day went by really fast and he didn't even had the chance to check his phone a lot. Between two interviews he had seen that y/n liked the behind the scenes footage from his photo shoot and his heart skipped a beat. He wanted to text her but he didn't had the time as the next interview started almost immediately. He would text her later when he was waiting at the airport.

Right before heading to the airport he said goodbye to his cast mates as well as to the directors and producers of the movie. He already check-in online and as he just had his backpack he didn't need to be at the airport too early. He made it through the airport security check and waited in a lounge for boarding.

He felt his phone buzz more than usual and grabbed it out of his pocket.

Christina tagged him on a photo from last night and comments and likes went crazy over her caption:

Rutgers reunion: tonight my university crush confessed to me that he was in love with me as well. 👫🏽

He commented two green heart emojis „💚💚" underneath the photo and didn't even realized what he had done.

But he would find out soon enough...

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