jenseit

[jenseit]

fuck people who annotate like this tbh

[jenseit]

Byun-Chul Han, The Disappearance of Rituals

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Lovers

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Thanos Vovolis aka Θάνος Βόβολης (Greek, b. 1958, Greece) - Masque de Dyonisos, 2007, National Theatre of Iceland

[jenseit]

my goals rn other than having an excellent last year at college are to get over my addiction to dependence and get in touch with my creativity again. its been gone a long time and its time for it to come back. i think these things are intertwined, and that developing them will be what shakes this residual shame off my back. reading bachelard and deciding definitively to switch my essay topic to borges are my first little steps rn.

[jenseit]

bf has been out of town for five days and i've already started reinventing myself. which could mean nothing

[jenseit]

I actually dreamt last night that I was talking about war and peace. about the relationship between man and nature in it

[jenseit]

quote from the last living frank lloyd wright client, roland reisley, who is 101 and has lived in his flw house for 73 years

[jenseit]

[jenseit]

also in tolstoy, prince andrei has this wonderful line thats stuck with me since i read it: "tout comprendre, c'est tout pardonner" and in general i find it to be good maxim for preventing resentment, like: if i can find a way to empathize (understand/comprendre) then i can stop being bothered by (forgive/pardonner) someone's actions. pretty neat

i'm like halfway through the book now though and after following prince andrei for so much more of his life i have a hard time trusting his judgement. he isn't the most forgiving character. is the meaning of a phrase less true when the speaker doesn't understand it, or himself? marya has a moment later when she tells a friend, "je comprends" and it seems she is truly forgiving in that moment.

[jenseit]

ive been thinking lately about a certain passage near the beginning of war and peace where one of the characters looks into a mirror, and tolstoy remarks on the way we all seem to make unnatural faces at ourselves, whether or not we're conscious of it. i realized through this that i must have a resting bitch face, because the look i make at myself is considerably friendlier than what i think my completely neutral expression is.

[jenseit]

dolce

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[jenseit]

[“When I used to teach creative writing, I would tell the students to make their characters want something right away—even if it’s only a glass of water. Characters paralyzed by the meaningless of modern life still have to drink water from time to time. One of my students wrote a story about a nun who got a piece of dental floss stuck between her lower left molars, and who couldn’t get it out all day long. I thought that was wonderful. The story dealt with issues a lot more important than dental floss, but what kept readers going was anxiety about when the dental floss would finally be removed. Nobody could read that story without fishing around in his mouth with a finger. Now, there’s an admirable practical joke for you. When you exclude plot, when you exclude anyone’s wanting anything, you exclude the reader, which is a mean-spirited thing to do.”]

kurt vonnegut

[jenseit]

my working theory on the self esteem thing is that either im just shamefully letting myself fall victim to marketing and beauty standards etc orrrr this is just a byproduct of feeling like certain parts of my life suck and are limiting me. probably the latter but ahhhh i feel incapable of doing anything about it. kind of pathetic but I just dk what to do

[jenseit]

I cant put a finger on why exactly but my self esteem has been so so low lately. im considering getting an expensive professional haircut which ive never ever done before