jeanieworks

[jeanieworks]

A moment doesn't happen again.

"Live in the moment" This is by far the most cliché tagline I read and hear these days. Yes, it's easy to read but it's even harder to understand it. I myself don't really fully understand this until I experienced shooting video interviews this year.

This February, I initially interviewed Ms. Melody of Crafting Time for my Instagram reel feature. At that time, I didn't have any script flow or anything prepared beforehand, just questions because I thought to myself this is "just a quick 1 min reel"

I was hoping to wrap up the interview quickly not minding the audio quality then here comes the video editing part. It was so bad. The words are inaudible. I showed her my first edit and it is clear that we have to reshoot and I realized that 1 min reel is not enough for this feature. It needs to be on YouTube. For the second reshoot, I need to have everything planned out from script flow to angle shots because a moment doesn't happen twice.

The second time we shoot this April, it was a success because I am guided by a script I follow but I know the first interview I had with her back in February was way more raw. This is when I realized that a moment doesn't happen twice because once it passed, there's no rewind that's why now I make sure to be ready whenever there are are moments that's rare.

I also now don't wait without doing. Yes we can wait but while waiting we should do something productive. Had I focused my waiting time before in researching about products I can use in video production, I would have the video finished earlier. At the moment, I'm still editing the YouTube feature (Please watch it out when I upload it!)

I don't want to be hard too on myself because of what happened, now I fully understand that a moment doesn't happen twice.

[jeanieworks]

2020 digital artwork by yours truly

"Alone but not lonely"

I have seen this quote so many times on social media but what do we really mean by being alone without feeling lonely at all?

I thought the only purpose of life is to finish college, have work then settle down with a family. I thought it's linear so I tried my best to get into a relationship, I thought if I got one, I will be happy but girl when I was in a relationship there's still hole that needs to be filled. No matter how I demanded it from my former boyfriend, I still feel insecure, ugly and all kinds of negativities you can name until he broke up with me because I was apparently toxic which I won't deny.

I was so sad that I am not happy despite of every material things I have. All my highschool and college life I was always searching for "the one" because I was eager to fulfill "my false purpose" during those times.

When my former boyfriend and I broke up. I couldn't fathom the pain I was feeling. It is as if I was betrayed by my own belief and dreams but in my darkest moments, I get to learn about Tao.

...in my darkest moments, I get to learn about Tao.

I started my journey in 2018 with the The Way of Life. In my 6 years journey to knowing myself, I have embraced the concept of being alone although I admit that there are still desperation and loneliness I felt lately especially last year but at this time of writing I am fully embracing the quote "alone but not lonely" I have invested in learning things that piqued my interests. I am training myself to be independent. At the back of my mind, these desperation for relationship are now my least priority unlike before that even though I am busy I still think it deep inside. I am now at peace with everything I am currently now. No boyfriend? No problem! No child? No problem!

I am coming from a place of peace rather than hopelessness when I say that it's okay not to have my own child.

I personally think, some people committ to having a family because they are scared to be alone and no one helps them when they're old but let's face it, we were born alone so we will die alone too. If there's one thing people should learn is that to learn to be alone without feeling lonely.

[jeanieworks]

What's Your Real Intention?

I remember, my mentor once told me the difference between good and bad act is the intention.

It totally makes sense because you can't judge people easily especially if we really don't know the true heart or intent behind the action.

People can do good things with bad intentions and vice versa so the best way to deal with these things is to just let things flow naturally. After all, we will be judged accordingly on how well we lived our life.

It's easier to mind our own business and keep on improving for the best than to spend our energy on hatred, anger, and worries on other people's negative actions either towards us or to our community. I know easier said than done but everytime we are tempted to react easily, check again what's really my intention for reacting this way? Where I am coming from?

With self - introspection, we can really know deep inside our real intention.

From movie: Er-Lang God of the New Legend of Deification (2023)

[jeanieworks]

The Card of Acceptance

Many times we wish things were different. We have this ideal life that we picture on our mind but most of the time reality seems to break our expectations and sometimes way too different than we initially expected and now we have to deal with the card of acceptance.

Acceptance hurts like hell. It will break you into pieces especially if you saw the naked truth but it is freeing. It will keep you humble because consequences are there to teach us life lessons.

These lessons are sometimes accumulated of negative actions we did and before we know it, we are already suffering on our consequences but usually this is where the light comes in, when we hit the darkest moments that broke us so deeply.

As we see the light, let us be renewed and start anew.

Many times I wonder about my what ifs on life but the more I do it, the more I hurt myself. Acceptance is easier than wishing things as they are because it is what it is!

As long as we take the lessons to heart, we are bound to be the best version of ourselves and we have a choice to make a better future.

Card by Moment to Moment PH