jayhandee

[jayhandee]

today's warm up: Don't you love this time of year/child care is hard to arrange when your wife is a weather phenomenon

[jayhandee]

oh you think your life is hard? try being a gay rat living in france who hates your dad and just wants to cook

[jayhandee]

This is most of my academic writings i fear

Reading through my essay and realizing how easy it is to tell I write fanfiction

[jayhandee]

*flops on the floor* I miss drawing

[jayhandee]

oh how the turns have tables

[jayhandee]

every moment of your life, from birth to death, constantly, while you aren't looking, there's some kind of weird shapes just moving around in the ocean. and the shapes are eating eachother sometimes too. and they might even dig holes. and all of this is happening during everything else that's going on. like think about the most important moment in your life. the thing that shaped you as a person. the entire time that was happening, far away, deep in the ocean, where no human has ever seen, there was some kind of wet sack with a weird protrusion flailing about in the water. maybe it even grabbed a fish. who knows. i don't. just think about that for a bit

[jayhandee]

i hate it when people are writing a long ass thing and start a parenthetical aside and forget to close parentheses it makes me feel like i cant escape from the sentence

[jayhandee]

what if you wore a shirt that featured a picture of you trying to claw your way out of the shirt with a horrid desperate expression and the text "THAT'S NOT ME THAT'S NOT ME I'M TRAPPED IN THE SHIRT"

[jayhandee]

watching a video on brewing Mesopotamian beer and look at this orange man (his ass cannot guard the barley)

[jayhandee]

first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.

[jayhandee]

[jayhandee]

human brain is so easy to manipulate its stupid. sun is out longer in evening = life is worth living...read some negative social media posts = everybody hates me...read one interesting article = i have the scholar's ambition

[jayhandee]

now 2 beanie baby dragons are crossing your dash together :3

[jayhandee]

if I were a bee I'd fetishize the idea of a beekeeper clipping my tiny wings so I can't escape (remembers you're not supposed to say shit like that) I mean yesterday I ate two yogurts normally

[jayhandee]

are you uncomfortable from your hands being dry? if you apply lotion, you can instead be uncomfortable with how greasy they are now. Subscribe for more tips!