jayhandee

[jayhandee]

The only acceptable ads should be shit like "groceries on sale" and "free event at the local library"

[jayhandee]

Had a running bit for the first few months of living in my current house where I would do the Bigfoot pose every time my housemates walked into the room. Apparently I’m not particularly good at the bigfoot pose.

(Had the draft for this sitting in my WIPs folder for many moons, like an absurd amount of moons. Anyways, I finally finished it.)

[jayhandee]

dude stop trying to garner context and character traits from the objects in my room i know youre doing it. stop clicking on shit im not gonna tell you about - oh that picture is of me and my dad. yeah he's not really in my life anymore i just keep it around cause im sentimental- DUDE

[jayhandee]

the crows during the ice court heist:

[jayhandee]

Not that there's anything wrong with having something wrong with you

[jayhandee]

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

[jayhandee]

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“You thought you ate that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

[jayhandee]

Dungeon meshi is about taking care of yourself physically so you can be fucking insane at full capacity

[jayhandee]

best sequence ever???

[jayhandee]

notice how everyone is horny today

[jayhandee]

“do you know where you’ll be headed in 5 years?” no. but i do know about themes and motifs. and friendship. and putting garlic on everything

[jayhandee]

an ornithologist pointed a microphone at a bird sitting alone on a wire and caught the sound of the bird singing a song at a decibel so low that it would be impossible for another bird to hear it, meaning the bird was singing quietly to itself I love life

[jayhandee]

he/they delilah whats it like in new y. actually. i worked a long shift today i dont feel like finishing this post. sorry you know how it is

[jayhandee]

"Quivering" is my least-favourite word in the english language. Nothing and nobody should be quivering. If you're quivering right now, stop that shit immediately. Tremble or shake if you must but the quivering has to stop.

[jayhandee]

???

[jayhandee]

[jayhandee]