jayhandee

[jayhandee]

my favorite grandpaism of all time is when he said "every time i learn a new person's name i forget the name of a fish." that shit has stuck with me for years. what did he mean by that

[jayhandee]

i love characters who are always like fear not, i shall take care of this problem for you….. by sacrificing myself!! and everyone else is like i swear to god if you pull this shit again i’ll kill you

[jayhandee]

[jayhandee]

[jayhandee]

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

[jayhandee]

PSA:

1. If you are not silly, it is vital you become silly

2. If you are silly, you must stay silly

2. If you used to be silly but have stopped, you must make all efforts to return to silliness

[jayhandee]

dean is like everyone younger than me is a little sibling and everyone older than me is a parent figure and im responsible for all of them

[jayhandee]

meditations on the odyssey

[jayhandee]

There is no joy like the joy of a writer who has just figured out that a throwaway line they put into the first few paragraphs of a story is actually the key to a major plot point and possibly even the theme underlying the entire thing.

Just…yesssssss.

[jayhandee]

for a minute i definitely forgot that kanye west had changed his name to ye and was wondering why this accusatory headline was written in shakespearean language

[jayhandee]

does anyone know if you can get in trouble for feeling weird

[jayhandee]

Also me to my mom

the voices in my head tell me to quadruple the amount of garlic required for any recipe. and i listen

[jayhandee]

when we were studying the bible in literature class (so we have the context necessary for later works that reference the bible), i think we were at the book of jonah, and one of my classmates was studying the text very intently, and then looked up and earnestly said "professor, i don't understand the will of god"

the teacher was just like. well sadly i am a literature teacher and not a priest so i can't help you there. but if it helps, many people throughout history had the same problem.

[jayhandee]

[jayhandee]

hello i would like everyone to know that sometimes you can sob your eyes out and have an existential crisis one moment and then suddenly you're booking your driver's test and applying for jobs and crocheting a blanket and maybe life isn't so bad anymore!! maybe you can feel awful and fix your life anyway!! maybe you're allowed to be a wreck and still be good enough!! i am a full on adult and have avoided getting my license for years but now i'm finally doing it because i've grown around the fear!!!! the world didn't crash and burn when i was fifteen!! i did this for myself and i'm going to be okay!!

[jayhandee]

[jayhandee]

I miss funny people already