jasonbrights

[jasonbrights]

me: “sorry ): can’t come!! got so much to do at home”

me as soon as im home:

[jasonbrights]

Well, I've got a new favorite sculpture.

Ercole Barovier, "Woman With Shrimp" , circa 1930s, blown and solid-worked glass; permanent collection of the Chrysler Museum.

[jasonbrights]

me: hey man hows it going

my friend: *cordyceps on his head 1ft taller than last time* pretty good

[jasonbrights]

And if I succeed I'll count all your teeth I'd swing from the gallows and wave And there, from the noose Lest you're cutting me loose I'd carousel into my grave

[jasonbrights]

GOD I HATE THE PROVING GROUNDS AND ATLAS CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF

[jasonbrights]

mwah is a very important word

[jasonbrights]

What if we gave universal healthcare to everyone who wanted it and everyone else who didn't can just keep getting scammed by these companies for some reason

[jasonbrights]

[jasonbrights]

[jasonbrights]

joke courtesy of @ceilingcow

[jasonbrights]

A bad photoshop will always be funnier than an AI image no matter what

[jasonbrights]

do you think people in the hannibal universe were intimidated out of serial killing by how much thought and care was put into all of the big serial killer's serial killing. like yeah man i'd loveee to get into serial killing but i don't have access to the facilities where i can flay someone alive and make roses with their skin unfortunately :/ also i have a day job :/ if i was a serial killer in the hannibal universe i'd get imposter syndrome while reading articles about other killers like fuckkkkkkk man he sewed them together in a grain silo to look like a giant fucking gradient when viewed from above. why do i even try this shit. and i'd cry myself to sleep every night

[jasonbrights]

Sweet little bumblebee I know what U want from me Du du du pu du da da du du du pu du da da

[jasonbrights]

[jasonbrights]

i feel like i'm going Italian

[jasonbrights]

[jasonbrights]

puppy play but i’m some sort of endangered wolf who is sick and injured so a team of medical experts work around the clock to diagnose and fix me and they feed me an ideal diet and post photos of me on social media and everyone says “ooohhh awwwwwwww!!!!” and then i get released back to the wild because it’s the right thing to do and from then on i only occasionally show up on random trail cams and people say “yay!” and they leave me alone