janibearblog

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[janibearblog]

“Blowing out someone else’s candle won’t make yours shine brighter.”

— (via ieatcatsncows)

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For my girlies that want to be really succesful and happy but have not figured out yet ie. Are yet to connect with their life's purpose and/or choose a career, here's the tip of the century: devote your time to learning a diverse group of practical, timeless and mostly widely applicable skills. Examples?

Language. Learning a parent language eg German or Spanish or Mandarin will never not come in handy. When you do figure out your career this skill will find a way to be applicable. Let's not forget the networking opportunities plus if there is a foreign aspect to it eg an office abroad guess who will make the list.

Dance or music. Mostly classical. This might not apply to your career if it's not in the arts but it connects you to your feminine creative side, is great for your mental health, brings a touch of sophistication to you, the health benefits and oh so impressive. Plus it's music sis. Music solves everything.

Crafts(wo)manship. We are talking knitting, pottery, crotchetting, couture, etc. One, hobby. Two, Etsy. Three, sophistication. Four, femininity. Five, you'll give the best gifts over Christmas, trust me.

Swimming, driving, flight, etc. I am 100% convinced swimming and driving are basic life skills. Will there ever be a day in your life when you'll regret that you can drive? Or swim? Unless you're angling for driver it might not contribute to your career but it will to your life.if you can get a flight license do that. If you can get a motorcycle license do just that. Even if it's a hot air balloon, do just that. You can not convince me swimming is not a life skill I am literally surprised by people that can't swim. Never been in a flood huh.

Social skills. The thing about social skills is that they are, drumroll, SKILLS. Skills are not inborn, they are learned and we live in the era of Robert Greene and Genie Sayles and Dale Carnegie and free online courses and if there is one set of skills that's the backbone of everything its this one. There is no time having social skills will not help. Not professionally. Not socially. Not even in your family. Or friends. Whatever your life purpose is, you will need social skills. Communication is the key to EVERYTHING.

"Health" related skills. I'm talking gut health, get a first aid certification, learn herbs and holistic methods and reiki and yoga and all that. Your wellbeing shouldn't even be a choice honestly. Is there one time being at prime health will Not come in handy? No. Till you figure stuff out learn the right foods, learn to heal your gut, learn quick first aid tips, learn how your body works, learn female reproductive health, learn evolutionary psychology- stack up on the health.if your community has traditional healing methods learn that. Especially those of us that want to be moms? You'll need this so bad.

Fashion, styling, beauty. Because we are women and let's be honest , it's much easier and better when you finally learn to style yourself and express yourself through your clothing & make up &c &c and do what's good for your skin and hair and- you get it. Is there a day you will not need to dress? No? There you go

Financial education. Now if I need to explain this to you please meet me out back I just wanna talk

You don't have to have the full picture to start investing in it

Website

[janibearblog]

Fearless Social Confidence: Strategies to Live Without Fear, Speak Without Insecurity, Beat Social Anxiety, and Stop Caring What Others Think - Patrick King book notes

Socially confident people:

expect to be accepted. When they meet strangers, they expect to make a good impression. They never approach situations thinking, “What if they don’t like me?” Instead they think, “I hope I like them.”

evaluate themselves positively. Socially confident people are encouraging, positive, and accepting of themselves. They give themselves leeway not to be perfect and don’t beat themselves up too harshly when they are not.

feel comfortable around superiors. Socially confident people feel comfortable because they don’t feel threatened, or that their flaws and vulnerabilities will be highlighted by the other person’s qualities.

With a lack of social confidence, you are usually choosing the thought that is cruelest to yourself.

when navy SEALs recognize that they are feeling overwhelmed, they regain control by focusing on their breath—breathing in for four seconds, holding for four seconds, and then out for four seconds, and repeating until you can feel your heart rate slow down and normalize.

Core beliefs: 

Steps in a thought diary entry can be arranged in the easy-to-remember A-C-B format—

Activating Event. Note down the event/ situation. This is simply the origin point of your emotional change. It’s whatever caused your emotional status to change from calm to agitation (a memory, a song, etc).

Consequences. In this step you identify the specific emotions and sensations that arose. These could be simple feeling words— “anxious,” “unhappy,” “sickened,” “panicky,” “melancholy,” “confused,” and so forth.

Beliefs. This is where the action begins. How do you link the activating event with the consequences? What unconscious narrative or story about yourself was told to achieve the consequence? (“What was I thinking?”  “What was going through my head when this happened?”  “What’s wrong with that?”“What does this all mean?”  “What does it reveal about me?”)

Now you’ve gotten to the bottom of your situation and figured out what your core beliefs are.

The first step is writing down one of the core beliefs you’ve just uncovered. Ask yourself what experiences you’ve had that prove your core belief wasn’t always true. Generate as many experiences as you can and be very specific about what happened.

Write down the core belief you’re examining.  Think of ways that you can put that belief to the test. These are actual tasks that you can perform.  Then, write down what you expect or predict will happen after conducting these tasks if your core belief was true.  Perform the tasks.  Write down what really happened after you completed your task.  Compare and contrast your predictions with what actually happened. Finally, document what you learned from the task and come up with a new, more reasonable core belief that goes in line with your discoveries.

Bushman’s results imply that sometimes the best course of action after being provoked to anger is to just sit quietly and let it pass.

There’s a direct link between social anxiety and negativity. A 2016 Australian research study showed that “elevated social anxiety vulnerability is characterized only by facilitated attentional engagement with socially negative information.” Obsessing over negative details—including by constantly talking about one’s problems—only reinforces one’s social fears and does nothing to inspire real confidence in a social setting.

Personalization is the mother of guilt. In the cognitive distortion of personalizing, you feel responsible for events that cannot conceivably be your fault. While it is admirable to take responsibility for your actions, there are things completely out of your control: the subway schedule, other people’s actions, and a million day-to-day factors.

Common cues of overgeneralization are “always” and “never.” When starting a sentence or a thought with “always” or “never,” consider whether you have the experience or evidence to back up the statement.

Other people aren't only what they are showing to the world. Most people put on a good show. But do you really know what might be going on in their private life? Take comfort from the fact that while there will be many people who are better at certain things than you are, there are also most certainly things that you will be better at.

If you are self-conscious and worried that people will judge you if you say something stupid or “off,” there's an easy workaround to that. The best approach is simple preparation. Create answers to predictable questions and conversations. Run that mental videotape in your mind about your past 10, 20, or 30 social conversations. I guarantee they are not all that different from each other.

Figure out the general questions that people will ask and the topics that will come up in normal conversation and be prepared with story-answers. For example, How was your weekend? What are you doing this weekend? How was your day? What do you do for work?

How can we ease ourselves into social confidence little by little? 

List the social situations you avoid. Ask yourself what kinds of gatherings or circumstances you steer clear of and write them all down in a list. Your list should include both physical situations—parties, family gatherings, work presentations, and so forth—and personal experiences that you don’t want to face.

Give each situation a SUDS level from 0 to 100.

Plan your goals.

Build your goal stepladder. You’ve planned a goal and have decided to start work. Remember, situational exposure is a bit-by-bit process.

[janibearblog]

A reminder for my ladies: EVERYTHING TAKES TIME. YEARS. So start right now with the little that you have and stay consistent. Drink a glass of water instead of soda this time. Do one workout. Take a walk. Take up a class. Read a book. Start the treatment. Learn that language. And try that EVERY SINGLE DAY. A little bit every day, but I tell you something, you will see the results in YEARS. Yes, you will get that degree AFTER A FEW YEARS. Yes, your hair will grow long, AFTER A FEW YEARS. Yes, you will be in shape, you will become who you want, you will heal, you will speak that language fluently AFTER A FEW YEARS.

Just keep doing what you're doing and don't give up. Ok? Ok. Love you, bye bye 💌

[janibearblog]

Whilst you nourish your body with exercise, slow yoga, nighttime body milk, adorn it with jewellery and sultry perfume, carefully drape it with clothes that fit… don’t forget to nourish your mind. Classical music, podcasts, brain games like crosswords, sudoku, mental math, art even if you’re terrible at it, gardening even if your plants never seem to grow, cooking even if you might burn the house down - embrace learning, embrace curiosity, and enjoy your own company. Be the best wife you could be to your own self first. Care for yourself, defend yourself, grow, teach, constructively criticise yourself; be the best parent you could be to yourself.

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Things to do with your friends that don’t involve clubbing

Go to new restaurants

Go to self development courses

Go to the theater or to a concert

Take new photos for your social media

Go shopping

Watch a movie

Workout together

Make dinner together with some wine and a nice ambiance

Go to brunch

Visit your city’s tourist stops like parks, museums, aquariums

Go to service together

Book clubs

Pottery class

Painting wine glasses (paint & sip girl’s night)

[janibearblog]

If you’re facing something that seems difficult, always remember… Nothing is too hard for our God. All things are possible. Just believe and repeat this throughout your day:

I will trust in God and not worry.

I will have faith in God and not worry.

I will hold to God’s unchanging hand.

God has never left me nor forsaken me.

It may not look or feel like it but ALL IS WELL!

[janibearblog]

⭐Vitamin Cheat Sheet⭐

Vitamin A: Vision, immune system, skin health.

Vitamin B1 (Thiamine): Energy metabolism, nerve function.

Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin): Energy production, skin health.

Vitamin B3 (Niacin): Cellular energy production, skin health.

Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid): Metabolism, hormone production.

Vitamin B6: Brain function, mood regulation.

Vitamin B7 (Biotin): Healthy hair, skin, and nails.

Vitamin B9 (Folate): Cell division, DNA synthesis.

Vitamin B12: Nervous system, red blood cells.

Vitamin C: Immune system, collagen synthesis.

Vitamin D: Bone health, immune function.

Vitamin E: Antioxidant, skin health.

Vitamin K: Blood clotting, bone health.

Calcium: Bone and teeth health, muscle function.

Iron: Oxygen transport, energy production.

Magnesium: Nerve function, muscle relaxation.

Zinc: Immune system, wound healing.

Potassium: Fluid balance, nerve function.

Iodine: Thyroid function, metabolism.

Selenium: Antioxidant, thyroid health.

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She looks back and thanks God; She looks forward and trusts God.

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I’m excited about God holding my hand and taking me where I’m meant to go.

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Sometimes you gotta sit and really think how blessed you are seriously

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The theme I picked up on in the book of Genesis is forgiveness. It’s a hard thing to do but it’s extremely important to have a forgiving heart.