jai-le-king

[jai-le-king]

The telltale signs...

...that you have been a 'mech pilot for too long:

You stay away from bonfires, barbecues or even opening ovens because feeling more heat on your skin than sunlight sends you into a nervous panic.

The world seems overwhelming and confusing when there is no HUD to look at it through. Your gaze sometimes drifts to where your GPS system should be when you need to find your way somewhere.

You stop thinking in the cockpit. Young pilots can move and think at the same time; the more time you spend, the more you realize you need to just empty your mind. Clean mirrors reflect clearest.

You can tell at a glance how many tons of metal a building could hold up- or, well, should be able to. (Contractors cut corners, after all; you can never be completely certain.)

You start hating cats, or most small and frisky animals, because something moving unexpectedly in the lower edge of your vision has been a 'mech-hunter infantry team too many times.

You go in for crunchier or chewy foods just to be as far as possible from sipping on a nutrient juice pack.

Your actual, physical body hurting from something like stubbing your toe or hitting your head on a doorway has become a bizarre sensation compared to the pure brain-pain of damage feedback.

You can still feel "your" missile pods, or jump-jets, or similar, when you're outside of your 'mech. At times, like that sudden, illusory feeling of falling as you go to sleep, you get phantom recoil from weaponry systems.

You stop aiming for the cockpit. It stops being about salvage money for a mostly-intact 'mech, or giving a clean death to whoever is behind that glass: if you have to shoot off every gun and missile piece by piece to make it out alive, you will.

You have learned what it feels like to crush a human body underfoot. (Gritty and brittle, mostly. Unpleasant.)

[jai-le-king]

I can't stop with these sorry

[jai-le-king]

Is your atomic element 116 because Uuh

[jai-le-king]

How did I never know this?? This is such an important detail that recontextualizes the cases entire existence!!! Which comic is this? I've only read mostly pre-2005 comics

the fact that alfred was the one to put up jason's memorial is so important to me

[jai-le-king]

To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

[jai-le-king]

This is fascinating and I love a good meta so I hope you don't mind if I jump in here OP

This is a bit off topic but its important;

You sort of mention this in the tags, but I'd also like to point out that Kilgarrah specifically had all the reason to either lie to Merlin or offer distorted information regarding Morgana specifically in order to lead him down a certain path. He does not like Uther and perhaps he knows that she's extremely important to him. Or, and hear me out, given that Morgana was a seer, he might have believed she could've learnt of his existence and gone to Uther and who knows how that would've gone.

Also, during the time that he was trapped under the castle, it's plausible that he again gave Merlin distorted or false information to eventually get out or gain Merlins trust.

I point this out because (in S1 specifically) I do not believe he had Merlins best interests at heart in ANY situation. It was in Kilgarrahs best interest that Merlin not tell anyone about what he's doing because if Merlin does die or leave, then he has no way out. If Uther catches wind of what Merlins done and Kilgarrahs name get brought up, it's entirely possible he'll get killed (I firmly believe that Uther had a way to kill a dragon, he killed the rest of them come on BBC the plot holes here).

Gaius does something similar, though not exactly.

I like Gaius okay? I think he's interesting and he's nice to out main man Merlin (for all his faults). But Gaius lived through the Purge. He was a MAGIC USER that made it from one end of a genocide to another. He did that by betraying his closest friends (Balinor) and even his fiancée (Alice). We don't get a clear answer as to why in the series. He was fully capable of running, fully capable of taking whatever other magic users where in the city with him to safety, wherever that would've been. He didn't.

I like Gaius. He's interesting. He also went along with his friends mass murder of innocent people and continued to be buddy-buddy with him. This will leave some physiological effects on a person. Gaius has seen every pyre built and burnt, many of which held people he knew, people he tended to, children he healed. He does the same thing as Kilgarrah and beats it into Merlins head that No. One. Can. Know. If they do they'll kill Merlin, they'll kill Gaius, hell, Uther might might even kill everyone Merlins even interacted with out of guilt he put someone so 'dangerous' near Arthur.

By doing that to Merlin, he cuts him off from any support system other then him and the dragon and we've established that Kilgarrah probably didn't really care about Merlin too much apart from his own gains.

There's also no way Gaius had enough information to understand what was going on either. It's all second hand from Merlin, who doesn't include everything either.

I'm saying all this to point out that I don't think anyone had the full scope of things (I don't think Kilgarrah knew jackshit either honestly, given the way Seer visions work I doubt the verbal prophecies make much sense either) from S1 through late S2 or maybe early S3 and by then it probably seemed like it was too late to Merlin. He's already poisoned Morgana. He's already tried to kill one of the people closest to Arthur if he reveals his magic now, he'll have to explain what he's done and that will DEFINITELY get him killed.

I say all this basically to point out that I really don't think Merlin cares about being in control of the situation (at least in the early seasons, 4 and 5 give me sever headaches just think about them and would require another eight paragraphs), it's already spiraled out of control and if he could tell Arthur he WOULD but it's not just about the magic anymore, it's about owning up to the terrible things he's done.

This is also before the show really starts leaning into the whole 'strongest sorcerer' thing.

I think at that point, it was about self-disgust. He just poisoned someone. That's got to be different from disintegrating them with lightning.

If we want to continue interpreting magic as a metaphor for queerness, I'll relate this to my own experience with it. When I was still in the closet and discovering my sexuality, the first time I kissed someone of the same gender and asked them to keep it a secret I felt gross. When I went out with my then partner but we kept six inches of space between us when other people were around I felt queasy and it wasn't just because I was afraid of what other people thought (though that was definitely part of it), it was because I had done something that had been impressed on me was gross and wrong and I was disgusted because I was reminded that it was. It isn't, obviously, but that's what was what my internalized homophobia was telling me.

Now, is that the same as killing a close friend because she's the reason there's a sleeping curse? No, but can you see what I'm getting at? Self-disgust is something you do NOT want to own up to. It's gross, it's icky, it stares at you from the dark corners of rooms when you least expect it because we LOVE hating ourselves.

I don't think Merlin is disgusted at his magic, but at what he has to do with it. I don't think he could separate his magic from his actions and that knotted his whole perception of himself up into a mess of self-flagelation and fear.

Anyway, this is way too long to basically say, while I agree with most of your interpretation-

TL,DR; I don't think Merlin was seeking power over Arthur even if that was the end result. He was manipulated by a self-serving lizard and a scared old man into not only lying but also taking extreme measures to protect the ones he loves, resulting in deep self-loathing and fear because of his actions.

Sorry for hijacking the post!

Let's talk about Merlin and lying. This isn't meant to be character bashing, but it might not be the most generous take either.

In All About Love, bel hooks writes: "In our culture privacy is often confused with secrecy. Open, honest, truth-telling individuals value privacy. We all need spaces where we can be alone with thoughts and feelings - where we can experience healthy psychological autonomy and can choose to share when we want to. Keeping secrets is usually about power, about hiding and concealing information."

(hooks has a lot more to say about the reasons why people lie in relationships, and our need for love and difficulty with love in general. Book is fantastic, highly recommend.)

The question is: was Merlin's years of lying about his magic, and all that he did in Arthur's defence, justified? Why'd he do it?

I've been trying to think through how the fandom generally interprets Merlin's character and choices in the show, and how this character makes me feel. It's really complicated and interesting (to me at least lol).

I often see the claim that Merlin lied about his magic for years out of fear for his safety, but it's never fully satisfied me as an explanation. Given that as a fandom we pretty much all agree that magic can be a metaphor for queerness, there's a natural alignment with the claim that queer people aren't ever obligated to come out, for any reason, but it's often said, especially if their physical safety might be jeopardized (which I agree with btw).

And it's true, given Camelot's genocidal laws, Merlin's life could be threatened if he revealed himself as a sorcerer. On the other hand, Merlin is basically all-powerful in the universe of the show, and I don't think the rest of Camelot could do much to him if he were prepared.

What's more convincing to me is the claim that Merlin's afraid of the potential emotional harm that could come from revealing himself. What if Arthur hates and rejects him? That's something his magic can't defend against.

I think Merlin's heart is in the right place. He believes all his work is done in service of Arthur and their joint destiny, which is the good of Albion. And he does save Arthur's life a whole dang lot.

The issue is, probably a good half of the show's major conflicts directly relate to Merlin's actions and inactions - usually, lies he's telling (Morgana, Mordred...). Conflicts that maybe could have been resolved with much less harm if Merlin, who often is the only one with crucial knowledge, had made different choices (and Gaius too oh my GOD). Dude is shooting himself in the foot. Merlin's lying isn't just about personal privacy and autonomy. It becomes a fundamental part, baked into his relationship with Arthur and his role in their prophecy (and the governing of a kingdom jeez).

In addition to plot SNAFUs, the way I see it, Merlin's lying has two major consequences for him:

His most important relationship, with Arthur, is deeply flawed and incomplete.

Merlin remains the most important, influential character in the show. His energies go to trying to keep the power for himself.

As bel hooks argues, there can't be true intimacy in a relationship if one or both parties withhold and deceive the other. This could look like lying to manipulate the other party to get what you want, or even lying to make the relationship go easier. Relationships built on untruth aren't fair to all parties - the deceived person can't make informed choices in the relationship, and the deceiving person robs themselves of the opportunity to be fully supported and loved for who they are. When Merlin lies to Arthur about magic, when he tells Arthur that magic is evil, even if it is for "his sake," he's taking choice away from Arthur often at crucial moments, for both their relationship and the well-being of the kingdom. Without knowledge of the truth about magic, and about Merlin, Arthur can't make fully informed choices as a king or a partner. Things go to shit, and it's terribly lonely for both of them, even if only one of them know about it. Merlin's reason for this might be fear of pain. However, when you don't give someone the opportunity to love or reject you for who you are, how can you feel held by that person? You deprive yourself of the chance.

Another reason to lie can be desire for power and control. By keeping the secret of his magic and their destiny, Merlin keeps all the responsibility and power to himself. This is the premise of the show: Merlin is the only person who can turn Arthur into a good king, save magic, secure Albion's future well-being--and he must do it all secretly. The show jokes about it, the characters joke about it. This premise is a kind of power-fantasy - being the secret power working from the shadows, using all your wit and guile to succeed despite the secrecy, risking life and limb for no recognition, but having the satisfaction of knowing that you are instrumental. It's very James Bond. Without the secrecy, what would be the point of Merlin? The secrecy might be part of what makes Merlin feel special, worthwhile.

As the years go by, the lies compound and the relationship becomes inseparable from them. The most significant on a personal level, probably Merlin's poisoning Morgana, Mordred, Ygraine, and Sophia.

Merlin can't control all the factors, he can't do it all by himself, he can't make Arthur into the ideal king and boyfriend of destiny, and from the start it's a doomed endeavour. Luckily Arthur loves him all on his own, and does get to see him at the very end, and they'll get a second chance.

So in summary, why does Merlin lie about his magic and his actions for so long? Fear, love, and power, is what I suggest. And ultimately it leads him and Arthur to ruin. It's not exactly exemplary behaviour, but it is very very human.

[jai-le-king]

[jai-le-king]

I know that a lot of people don't like Neelix for various reasons, but I would like to point out that A) not all alien species have to be the human version of fuckable, itd be weird if they were, and B) within about the first 3ish months into him being with the Voyager crew, they got stuck in a colapsing star, Kes had visions of an entire planet dying, and his lungs got stolen.

I'd be kinda pissed if these people who I am trying to help in exchange for some decent protection can't really protect me OR my loved one and also get me almost killed. Honestly? I'd want to leave the ship, too. I don't know these people, and I don't know the Federation, I have lived in a bartering system for most of my life and if I am attempt to fill my end of this bargan and these people keep almost killing me AND themselves, I wouldn't want any part of it

[jai-le-king]

I absolutely adore your demon bat au. Cryptid bat aus are fun, but I especially like how in yours they’re not actually cryptid, people just started saying they were and the bats fucking RAN with it. Out here spider climbing walls for the dramatics

Truly, the drama queens of the DC universe, Bruce 'I'm goinf to use my greatest fear against criminials (fucking bats) to make them afraid' Wayne just simply couldn't resist

[jai-le-king]

Hello

I am here to yell at you by your own request

PLS WRITE MORE OF THE STRING SERIES

WE DESERVE MORE MAGIC!TIM (god!tim???)

pls

I'm also begging for more Magic!Tim and hopefully I should have some soon!!

Thanks for yelling

[jai-le-king]

Have you seen that post about Starbase vs. Starship kids in the star trek universe? How intrested are you in a fic series about that? (Also does anyone want to join me in my endevor because I'm great with some of the series but with Next Gen i have no idea)

Tell me if its intresting and feel free to drop your own ideas!

Also Naria is a Tyrellian child and as such hasn't developed a sex yet, so I went with some different pronoun choices.

- - - - -

Naira stumbles when the station rumbles again, ner short legs tripping over a carpet edge that hadn't been fixed since the last time something happened.

Not that neu knows what that 'something' is since ner parents and the other Starfleet personnel think neu's too young to know. In ner personal opinion, if neu's old enough to follow ner parents around to their postings, then neu's old enough to know whats attacking them.

The station rocks as neu climbs back to neu feet, using one of the consoles that line the promenade as balance. When the shaking stops, neu takes off running towards ner living quarters and, more importantly, ner siblings.

An older Bajoran military officer grabs neu arm when neu stumbles onto the turbolift to steady ner.

Neu mumbles a quick Joi in thanks and the, she glances at his collar, Lieutenant nods. Another blast(?) hits the station and neu grabs onto the railing along with another Bolian kid, this one older then ner.

He's got a cut above his eye and a a standard issue brat translator. Neu hasn't used neus for months.

"Hey," neu taps his shoulder. He looks scared. "I'm Naira, are you new?"

"Um, yeah," he says shakily, "It's my momses first posting in a militia zone."

Neu smiles, "Ah, I get it, are you headed back to your quarters?"

"Yeah, I was eating with my co-mom when-" the station rocks again and he stumbles. Neu reaches out to steady him but he's already rebalanced.

"Anyone waiting for you back there?"

He shakes his head.

"You wanna come hangout with me and my siblings? Some of the kids from the other compartments come over when they're along during battles."

"You sure that'll be okay?"

"'Course, my sister's the oldest kid on this side of the habitat ring so all of the Starfleet and Bajorin kids know that if they have any problems during st-" neu grunts when ner head knocks on the wall, "Ow, when stuff like this happens."

"You okay?"

Neu shrugs, "Not the worst I've had from the station getting knocked around. My dad normally comes and checks on everyone and gives a heads up to everyones kids who show up."

"That’s nice of you," he mumbles.

"We've gotta stick together, a lot of officers can't check on their kids after battles."

"Does this happen alot?"

Neu shrugs and the turbolift doors slide open, "C'mon," neu tugs on his sleeve, "We can talk on the way."

A few others exit along with them, mostly civilians, while a few officers head up to the hub.

"It's not common," neu stumbles into the wall and he steadys ner, "But also not uncommon either. Where was your last posting?"

"Tranquility Base, my co-mom's an engineer and we were stationed there while my mom went through training."

They reach the Lorens familys room and neu knocks, "Carrey? Are you in there?"

"Naira!" Comes a young voice.

The door slides open and neu catches the little girl as she stumbles out. Neu tugs her up into her arms and continues down the coridor.

"I've got you, you're okay now, we're heading to my room okay?"

Theres a little nod in ner shoulder.

"That's a brave girl."

"I'm Drix by the way, Drix Foslo."

"Nice to meet you Drix, welcome to Deep Space 9."

[jai-le-king]

Have you seen that post about Starbase vs. Starship kids in the star trek universe? How intrested are you in a fic series about that? (Also does anyone want to join me in my endevor because I'm great with some of the series but with Next Gen i have no idea)

Tell me if its intresting and feel free to drop your own ideas!

Also Naria is a Tyrellian child and as such hasn't developed a sex yet, so I went with some different pronoun choices.

- - - - -

Naira stumbles when the station rumbles again, ner short legs tripping over a carpet edge that hadn't been fixed since the last time something happened.

Not that neu knows what that 'something' is since ner parents and the other Starfleet personnel think neu's too young to know. In ner personal opinion, if neu's old enough to follow ner parents around to their postings, then neu's old enough to know whats attacking them.

The station rocks as neu climbs back to neu feet, using one of the consoles that line the promenade as balance. When the shaking stops, neu takes off running towards ner living quarters and, more importantly, ner siblings.

An older Bajoran military officer grabs neu arm when neu stumbles onto the turbolift to steady ner.

Neu mumbles a quick Joi in thanks and the, she glances at his collar, Lieutenant nods. Another blast(?) hits the station and neu grabs onto the railing along with another Bolian kid, this one older then ner.

He's got a cut above his eye and a a standard issue brat translator. Neu hasn't used neus for months.

"Hey," neu taps his shoulder. He looks scared. "I'm Naira, are you new?"

"Um, yeah," he says shakily, "It's my momses first posting in a militia zone."

Neu smiles, "Ah, I get it, are you headed back to your quarters?"

"Yeah, I was eating with my co-mom when-" the station rocks again and he stumbles. Neu reaches out to steady him but he's already rebalanced.

"Anyone waiting for you back there?"

He shakes his head.

"You wanna come hangout with me and my siblings? Some of the kids from the other compartments come over when they're along during battles."

"You sure that'll be okay?"

"'Course, my sister's the oldest kid on this side of the habitat ring so all of the Starfleet and Bajorin kids know that if they have any problems during st-" neu grunts when ner head knocks on the wall, "Ow, when stuff like this happens."

"You okay?"

Neu shrugs, "Not the worst I've had from the station getting knocked around. My dad normally comes and checks on everyone and gives a heads up to everyones kids who show up."

"That’s nice of you," he mumbles.

"We've gotta stick together, a lot of officers can't check on their kids after battles."

"Does this happen alot?"

Neu shrugs and the turbolift doors slide open, "C'mon," neu tugs on his sleeve, "We can talk on the way."

A few others exit along with them, mostly civilians, while a few officers head up to the hub.

"It's not common," neu stumbles into the wall and he steadys ner, "But also not uncommon either. Where was your last posting?"

"Tranquility Base, my co-mom's an engineer and we were stationed there while my mom went through training."

They reach the Lorens familys room and neu knocks, "Carrey? Are you in there?"

"Naira!" Comes a young voice.

The door slides open and neu catches the little girl as she stumbles out. Neu tugs her up into her arms and continues down the coridor.

"I've got you, you're okay now, we're heading to my room okay?"

Theres a little nod in ner shoulder.

"That's a brave girl."

"I'm Drix by the way, Drix Foslo."

"Nice to meet you Drix, welcome to Deep Space 9."

[jai-le-king]

[jai-le-king]

I feel like if some world weary soldier was to meet Bruce Wayne without first know who he was they would immediately peg him as one of them before experiencing an insane amount of whiplash and mental gymnastics once they meet the full Brucie. Just trying to figure out why their instincts are screaming that this man has seen shit and is a Threat but he also trips on air and believes flamingos are a government plot

I love people with highly honed instincts taking one look at Bruce/his kids and being like something FUNKY is going on here.

[jai-le-king]

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

[jai-le-king]

Duke: "So then Ra's went-"

Damian: "You know that's not grandfather's name right"

Duke: "Hm?"

Damian: "that's not his name it's a title, you're supposed to say the whole title, his name isn't 'Head'"

Duke:

Damian:

Duke: "She give me Ra's on my Ghul til I…"

Damian, sighing, unsheathing a sword: "Thomas, I know you will survive this, so I will not be holding back"

[jai-le-king]

type prevs url with your eyes closed in the tags