jaeakatsuki - Tumblr blog

[jaeakatsuki]

My experience when I was in the lowest part of my life was when I was only in grade 6 in Elementary School and my classmates bullied me because I was small, there wasn't a day at that time that they didn't bully me. Even when I entered our room, they immediately insulted me and my schoolmates used to stare at me. I know myself that I'm small but do I really need to be bullied? There isn't a day that I don't get annoyed with them, sometimes I even want to punch them because of their teasing. Sometimes it's tempting and often I lose my will to study because every time I think about what I'm told, I lose my will, even at home I'm lazy because those times are really unforgettable. I don't know what my fault is with them, I don't even pay attention to them anymore and when I do pay attention to them, they are still angry. Whenever I would wake up early during those times, I would think of nothing but insults from them. Every time I come home I am very sad and only my brother's pet dog gives me pleasure. Until a few months passed, I saw a change in them because during those days our graduation was approaching. Here it is, in this part I am in Grade 7 in High School. There are students who try to pay attention to me and if you think about it, it seems that I am behind them. At that time I was very down because I was being bullied at the new school HAHAHAHAHAHA, I was receiving insults. I thought that insulting me would stop but it still hasn't. I remember a student at school and asked what grade I was in, I won't wonder why they laughed HAHAHAHAHAHA, at the same time they said to me "Hala!?! Are you really in grade 7? You're so small" the woman said to me as she left. I just laughed because I really laughed with a mixture of hatred and anger because of what he said HAHAHAHHAHAHA. I also noticed in myself then that I was very down with those they insulted. I also remembered that all my classmates used to really hate me because I was so flashy and skinny, that's when I felt sorry for myself and I thought that others didn't even want to talk to me. Time passed, I gradually changed myself, I also learned from my mistakes in those days. I'm thinking that what if I'm new? Is there no one to insult me? Is there nothing to annoy me? Those are my repeated questions to myself before. I didn't even really know at that time if I really had any friends in my school back then. On the day of our exam before at school, I met a girl in the canteen and she asked me what grade I was in HAHAHAHAHAHA and I said "Grade 8" with a smile because I was shy. She was the first girl I met before in school, she was very smart and very responsible. He is the only person I always hang out with at school, we also go to recess together and eat lunch together. He also always gave me energy in school when I was about to enter. Because of him, I learned to be tall and because of that, the students no longer insulted me before in school, my friends increased and I still hang out with them. And that's the only thing I can share about my life that used to be very difficult and full of problems.