jackthefox

[jackthefox]

back in the 00s a single dancing anime chibi gif would feed us for months on end

[jackthefox]

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world's largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

[jackthefox]

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

[jackthefox]

Regret…

The pain of acquiring a liking for coffee, but absolutely not being able to handle even a bit of caffeine without fucking up my whole dayyy <u>

They sit there… in my cabinet… lonely and untouched…. I feel your pain, my brothers and sisters, in all your artificially flavored glory…

This too is yuri…

[jackthefox]

The craving, nay, the NEED for something that will only ever hurt you… pining after such sweet suffering… We either whither away, denied each other’s presence until the longing kills us…

Or we go down together… hand in unlovable hand…

I’m coming, my sweet [New England Coffee - Blueberry Cobbler Coffee™️]… Wait for me…

The pain of acquiring a liking for coffee, but absolutely not being able to handle even a bit of caffeine without fucking up my whole dayyy <u>

They sit there… in my cabinet… lonely and untouched…. I feel your pain, my brothers and sisters, in all your artificially flavored glory…

This too is yuri…

[jackthefox]

The pain of acquiring a liking for coffee, but absolutely not being able to handle even a bit of caffeine without fucking up my whole dayyy <u>

They sit there… in my cabinet… lonely and untouched…. I feel your pain, my brothers and sisters, in all your artificially flavored glory…

This too is yuri…

[jackthefox]

I step into the crime scene once again, and just like last time... it's a mess. The bastard's killed again. They call him The Artist... man's sick in the head, thinks he's gonna be the next Michelangelo. His "canvas"? The human body. Maybe I'm just not "cultured" enough. But when I look at this mess of gore and body parts, all I see is... wait holy shit from this angle it looks like a fish! Ohhhh it's like a perspective trick! Oh shit that's so cool. I mean. Ahem. It's not cool enough to justify murdering twelve innocent... oh my GOD from THIS angle it looks like a MONKEY! It's like, two in one! How'd he even DO that, this guy's a genius!!

[jackthefox]

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

[jackthefox]

oh im gonna be weird about this for so long

[jackthefox]

p1o96

[jackthefox]

Assassinate Him.

[jackthefox]

everyone says how harry would do numbers on tumblr and ignores how kim would Also absolutely do numbers on tumblr

he said this. in the crime scene. straight up "hitting it". and by "it", haha, well. lets just say. the crime

[jackthefox]

shot through the heart

[jackthefox]

god i wish that fucking kid didnt have such bad aim

[jackthefox]

Assassinate Him.

[jackthefox]