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Uluru - Northern Territory, Australia 

Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock, is Australia’s most famous natural landmark. Created over 600 million years ago, it once sat at the bottom of the sea, but now rises 348m above ground. The monolith is considered a sacred site to the native people of Australia.

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Natalie Wee, “Practice Makes Perfect”

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22

I'm turning 23 in a few months and time seems like its standing still. Everything around me has stopped progressing. I'm at ends with following the worlds path and have stepped out onto my own. I have so many spirits pushing me forward and keep me going but so many people in the physical world trying to hold me back. I often wonder why.... Am I delusional? Are my feelings inaccurate? Am I really lost? I feel lost sometimes but everyday I begin to find myself. You know how great people talk about being lost? It's always the path to finding yourself. I try to explain things like this to my parents, but never do they try to understand. I ran away because I wasn't happy with where I was headed before. And sometimes I feel like I have more of an understanding about life than anyone in this world does. I'm constantly seeing people smiling through their teeth and it disgusts me. I would never dream of becoming that person. Maybe if my face was a mirror people would shut the fuck up and realize something more important than their tiny little lives they have. YOU ARE ONLY HERE IN THIS LIFE ONCE YOU ARE ONLY JORDIN ONCE YOU ARE NEVER COMING BACK AFTER YOU DIE YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO LIVE AS JORDIN AGAIN SO BE IT SO LIVE IT UP SO SUCK IT UP SO STOP WORRYING STOP TRYING TOO HARD STOP TRYING TO CONTROL IT ALL!!!

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Why

Why do I always fuck the good things up... It's like I'm scared. I'm scared to get hurt again... I've fallen so hard and so deep that I'm starting to run away. I don't want to stay in that cold place again. I've been cold for too long to deserve that. I can't stop thinking about your eyes. Or the way you look at me when I do something weird. I miss you all the fucking time... I often wonder if you even feel the same way. I want to spend every day with you... and when you don't jump to see me when I try to see you, I feel like I'm going to be played again. When you ignored me for those days, I felt like an idiot. I felt like I was making another mistake, wasting more time on someone who doesn't feel the same. I felt you get closer, but I still continue to feel your walls. I always ask you what you feel when you look into my eyes, because I feel so much inside me when you look at me that I'm confused how you don't feel that energy coming out from within me... are you blocking me? Are you scared I'm going to hurt you too?...

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Wtf man

What the fuuuuuuu k I'be been sitting in this Starbucks for 3 hours now... waiting in a fuckin dude to text me back. We were supposed to be in a car headed to Nashville 3 hours ago. Is this some kind of fucked up way to piss me off or kick me out of your life? Why not just text me and let me know you don't want to go anymore? Instead you're ignoring me texts and calls. I don't get it. Are you upset? I can't tell if you were weirded out when I told you where I was last night. Does he not understand who the person was? I don't get it. He's GAY and I've told you this before. Instead all you said was "that's interesting" why is that interesting? You know who this is already. Are you confusing him with someone? It's really annoying me right now. I just want to know if we're going or not. So I can go back to doing my thing. IM WAITING AROUND FOR YOU BECAUSE ITS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT AS EACH MINUTE GOES BY IM FREAKIN OUT. WHAT THE FUCK MAN!!!

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I'm an idiot

Laying on this futon this morning thinking about how you never used to let me sleep. I remember the last time I tried to sleep on the futon, you came out and argued with me. I was trying to get some kind of reaction out of you and I did. I'm laying on this futon now trying to figure out why I needed so much out of you and why I didn't try to find it in another place. Maybe if I left you alone and just did something to further my career, you would've been different towards me. Instead my excuse is that I was so caught up in everything I was trying to avoid that I got trapped focusing on things that weren't helping me develop my future. I was so fucking lost out there with you but I felt like we both were lost together. Maybe that's why I never understood your reactions to how I would spend my days. I need fucking time man. I needed the time to relax and figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I still need time, but I'm jumping to conclusions trying to look like I know what I'm doing. I convince myself everyday that I know what I'm doing, but even the people around me ask me if I'm alright. Not enough people care though.

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Thom Yorke for Rolling Stone Japanese Magazine, 2016 © Taro Mizutani and Scans by ‘k0stil’ on Reddit

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Sunday October 2

Today I'm still dreaming about you. Had a few dreams where you were some psycho wizard caveman with a glowing cauldron chasing me around. Then a few where you were normal but you rudely said you didn't love me anymore. One where you wrote me a poem... I liked that one. I keep thinking about dead roses and sending them to you. I've been in this mood lately where I do and say everything I've ever wanted to and haven't gotten anyone to really hate me so I'm pretty sure I could send you the flowers and not chew off my pinky. just send you a dozen dead ones from your dead lover. I feel fucking dead. You took my butterflies and warm feelings out of me. They feel like dead babies now, just stuck inside me. I can't even go on dates with cute boys and feel anything. I feel like a stripper with the downfall of not making money. I also feel stupid for even trying to remind myself of you. I got into tattooing because I miss you. All of my fucking art has you in it. All of my words are chosen based off memories of our short long-lived relationship. I felt like I spent years loving you. Sometimes I'm unhealthy for it and sometimes I'm trapped in this miserably beautiful mind spell thinking about your lips and who they're kissing now. I keep having dreams about this other guy now though... And it's already bad. I actually cried about YOU while in bed with him.. Lol what a fucking day. I was so drunk and so tired. Tired of having this hovering over me. Sometimes I miss u so much I want to throw up instead of cry. I think that's why me and this guy get along. We both are heartbroken. But he's so sweet. He slaps me in the face and I like it. Hahaha we also got drunk and wrestled until we took our clothes off. Super hot. I wonder if he was with someone last night. I was kinda a stalker and went to a bar in his neighborhood with another guy thinking I'd run into him. Instead I just played a few games of pool, went home and took this ladies hydrocodone. Lol I'm fucking stuck man. It's like ur all over my face and inside my brain and under my skin, in my fucking bones. I need you to talk to me. I need to get answers from you.

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You have three eyes, two to look, one to see.

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This tho

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You have three eyes, two to look, one to see.

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Little Red Riding Hood

This spread will be a real dive in your childhood and its effects on your present.. and how to use it or your future!

1: your childhood fears 2: how did they influence your past 3: how are they affecting your present 4: your childhood hopes 5: how did they influence your past 6: how are they affecting your present 7: the person both your fears and hopes built 8: how to use your fears to grow stronger 9: how to use your hopes to move on in life 10: the person you could be

OnceuponaMoon

All the other fairy tales spreads can be found here and in my store.

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This is a spread I designed to help put things in perspective when you’re trying to manifest a vision and your path starts to get a little foggy, when you feel stuck in a rut, lost, or as if you’re running in circles.

Position One - Where You’re At

This position represents your present condition or circumstances in relation to your vision. You might like to think of it as an essential building block or stepping stone. 

Some [suggested] questions to ask: What purpose is this serving? How can I make the most of this situation? Why is experiencing this necessary for manifesting my vision? 

Position Two - What You’re Blowing Out of Proportion

This indicates an issue you’re exaggerating or an aspect of your current situation that you’re experiencing unnecessary resistance to.

Questions to ask: Why am I experiencing this resistance? What can I learn from it? How can I work toward resolving it? 

Position Three - What You’re Taking For Granted

This could be an opportunity or asset that is currently available to you that you’re overlooking or failing to use to your advantage. 

Questions to ask: Why am I not receptive to this gift? What am I forfeiting by disregarding it? How can I actively use it to my advantage?

Position Four - The Direction You’re Headed

This card indicates the direction your current actions, behaviors, and/or perspectives are leading you.

Questions to ask: Is this complementary or contradictory to my vision? Which of my actions/behaviors/perspectives are propelling me in this direction?

Optional: If your interpretation of the card revealed for this position does not seem to be in alignment with or conducive to your vision, pull a card for Position 4A to shed light on how you can go about redirecting your course. 

Position Five - What’s Holding You Back

This represents something that is holding you back, bogging you down, and ultimately keeping you “stuck”, whether it be tangible or intangible. 

Questions to ask: Why am I holding onto this? What does it stem from? How can I go about releasing/resolving it? 

Position Six - What Will Propel You Forward

This is the key to bringing some clarity to your path (or at least confidence to your uncertainty) and getting back on track. 

Questions to ask: Why is this important? How can I actively cultivate and employ it? 

Position Seven - The Nature of Your Vision

This position reveals the quality of your vision– it might represent the underlying energy attached to it, what it will bring into/how it will affect your life and the lives of others, or perhaps whether it’s authentic and worthwhile or superficial and unrealistic.  

Questions to ask: Why is this important to me? How does this reflect my intentions? What purpose will this serve the whole?

Position Eight - What You’re Romanticizing

This is an aspect of your vision that desire has distorted to some extent, something you’re putting on a pedestal, obsessing about, or otherwise over-emphasizing which is giving you tunnel vision. 

Questions to ask: Why am I attributing so much value to this? How can I bring this type of energy into my life right now rather than relying on my attained vision to produce it? 

Position Nine - What You’re Overlooking

This is a potential obstacle or difficulty inherent in your vision that you’re not taking into consideration. For every gift a curse, every success a burden. This should not discourage you from pursuing your vision but rather encourage you to pace yourself on the journey and brace yourself for what lies at the end of it.

Questions to ask: What do I need to understand about this? How can I prepare myself for it? 

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Jaboctattoo.com Blacklisttattoo.com Instagram.com/jaboc

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I'm trying to hate you but I don't fucking hate you