izayaori

[izayaori]

Amends

[izayaori]

caylathetimidwolf:

Her tail wagged faster at the belly rub. She yipped. Don’t say that, mommy…you’re still cool to me! She whimpered. She turned her small pup body to the side a bit to snuggle him now.

That whimper was something he didn’t understand. Izaya was able to speak and understand japanese of course but also russian, english and german - ‘wolf’ sadly wasn’t in his language repertoire.

Pulling his hand away he looked at the snuggling wolf on his lap, deciding to ruffle her neck now. He didn’t know whether the whimper had been caused by his belly rubbing - so it was probably wiser to change the spot he guessed.

“I think I am good now… what were you happy about earlier? Ahhh… I won’t understand your answer, Caycay… You can’t speak like this, can you?” Chuckling a bit about himself he leaned back, finally getting into a comfortable position while he caressed her black fur.

[izayaori]

caylathetimidwolf:

To be the cute pupper she is, she rolled over to lay on her back, on his lap, not moving to me more patient with his progress. She wanted to cuddle him very much. It’s alright, mommy, I won’t move! Or bite… The compliment about her soft fur did perk her up some. The only thing moving now was her tail as it wagged from side to side.

No doubt that what Cayla did was cute - she was an adoreable wolf, no question. It just was - too close.

Izaya actually didn’t get himself - he knew it was the sweet little girl, and it wasn’t as bad as usual anyways with his panic. But he still froze upon every movement the small one did. No matter how tiny.

But then his eyes fell on the waggy tail. He knew that one. Cayla had done this so often around him, especially when she was happy about something.

And the familiarity of it worked. Easing up he carefully ruffled her belly, breathing out deeply. “Thank you, Caycay… you’re really patient with me here.” The sound of his voice displayed how embarrassed he was about this. “Guess that’s about it with the cool adult I was for you…”

[izayaori]

caylathetimidwolf:

She nodded, leaning into his hand. It made sense now that he explained it. It wasn’t just her. Hearing him proud of himself made her wag her tail, being proud as well. Yes, you’re doing great, mommy! She yips. She nuzzled his hand, scooting closer to him, laying down on his lap.

Seeing her tail wagging again was a big relief to him - she wouldn’t do that if she actually held a grudge or bitterness for him. And again - why was he even worried about something like that? As if she would hold something like this for the informant because of some stupid words he had said.

But a dog - and a wolf then as well - also wouldn’t get a waggy tail if they were sad. So she must have cheered up, right? It was so damn weird not to get answers from her.

At least no verbal ones.

With a human that would have been fine - Izaya was able to tell a lot just by the behaviour of them. Animals though were a problem for him, even if they indeed did have similarities.

As Cayla does that sound he flinches - not heavily but still noteable. This time not out of fear but rather because he didn’t expect a sound like that.

However - as soon as the black bundle of fur moves onto his lap he tightens up, watching what the little one is doing there to find her snuggling in. He doesn’t really panic - but he also doesn’t dare to move at all anymore.

Cayla, you really don’t go easy at that big coward in front of you.

[izayaori]

caylathetimidwolf:

I like it…but you don’t… She whimpers once more, not moving a muscle, sniffing his hand at a distance that wouldn’t make him flinch back. She will give pupper hugs when he’s ready, whenever that’ll be.

I’m just…hurt that you said that… She thought, as if he could understand her.

If he could hear what she was thinking he would have probably stopped trying to overcome his issue with her appearance. He would have apologized, not only once but a lot of times and he probably would have given her a break from himself. 

But since he didn’t the informant’s hand had reached now the little head of hers, touching the dark fur of her head.

“I don’t know why I even said that, Cayla-chan. I know you would never… but… ”, and now he started to sound awkward and apologetic, “… I’d ask that any dog. And that is my problem… I see a dog- or rather a wolf. Not ‘you’… as mean as that sounds… because you’re a very pretty wolf. I hope that I make sense to you.” Afterall he didn’t need her thoughts to know his comment would make her sad.

While he was talking his hand had started to fondle between her ears like it always did when he patted her head while she was the girl he knew.

“I’m doing good, don’t you think?” He was seriously proud, regardless that this only worked out since Cayla hadn’t moved an inch. Izaya sounded almost like a child who is showing their mom proudly about the picture they drew - it really was a big progress for him.

He even scooted closer to her now, stretching his arm all the time was uncomfortable as hell.

“What a soft fur you’ve got, Cayla-chan.” A compliment like that from a fur fanatic like him - it really meant a lot.

[izayaori]

caylathetimidwolf:

She whimpered again, licking his hand once. It did hurt her feelings a little bit. She would never, ever, bite him. She pulled her paw back and just stayed where she was. You don’t have to touch me, mommy… She felt even worse for him sounding like he’d cry. Because of that, she is reconsidering helping him get over this fear and debating on going somewhere to shape shift.

Watching her little soft tongue lick over his fingers he frowned - why on earth did he ask her that? 

How much of a prick can I be…?

He didn’t know what the reason was for her to pull her paw back. Either his dumb question or maybe it was like with dogs - as far as the informant knew they didn’t really like to have their feet touched.

“You don’t like that, hm? Normally it is fine if I hold your hand…”

Now he finally moved, shifting to sit cross-legged in front of her and REACHED OUT for her head. His hand still moved hesitant - but he tried, hoping she wouldn’t make any rapid movements right now. He didn’t want to hurt her by flinching away again, but he knew he would.

“You’re mad now, right?” He could understand why.

[izayaori]

caylathetimidwolf:

She looked back up at him, tilting her head to the side. She was scared of dogs some time ago for the fact that, although dogs are like, descendants to the wolf, dogs will get growly out of self defense or protection of their owner or something. As of now, she just stayed away from them, not wanting any trouble with dogs anymore.

She laid on her belly, slowly army crawling close to him. She’s gonna help him get over this fear.

He felt really bad - he could only imagine how she must feel to have him react to her appearance like this. But it wasn’t something he could control. Like someone else would flinch away from snakes he flinched away from dogs - well and wolfs obviously too.

Fear is something nobody can control when it attacks you.

He was still sitting there like frozen when he watched her crawl closer to him. Izaya had no idea what she tried to do. “You’re not going to bite, right?”

As soon as that had left his mouth he regretted it - of course Cayla wouldn’t bite him, what was this unneeded question for. But maybe she’d understand, considering that his voice sounded like he was about to cry.

As the puppy was close enough for him to reach he hesitantly poked one of her paws - he had wanted to go for the nose but he couldn’t bring himself to do that.

“Don’t take me serious please… I can’t help it…”

But at least he left his finger at the paw, hesitantly rubbing it.

[izayaori]

caylathetimidwolf:

She froze and her ears drooped down with those sad puppy eyes. He sounded scared. She didn’t know about his fear of dogs and felt really bad. She whimpered, backing away, off his body. I’m sorry, mommy…

That settled it for him - it definitely was the little wolf-girl he was so fond of. Knowing it for sure was like being hit by a truck - he felt horrible. Afterall it was his reaction to blame that she retreated like a beaten dog while whimpering sadly.

It wasn’t Cayla’s fault - even more since she was an adoreable puppy. At least for someone who wasn’t afraid of dogs.

“D-don’t worry… I am fine. That just startled me… You’re… uhm… cute.” Of course completely believable with him still sitting there like made of stone and stuttering around. What a horrible bad attempt to pretent, his cheery voice was there but it sounded so off. Sighing he gave up.

“I’m sorry for this Cayla-chan… It’s really not about you… I just… I am scared of dogs and… well a wolf is not really better…” How embarrassing. 

“B-but knowing it is you makes it better.” With a random dog or even wolf the informant would have been a dust cloud at the horizon by now. So if you ignored that he was shaking it was a start, right? 

[izayaori]

She had that happy moment when puppies have a sugar rush. She, as a little black pup pup glomped the raven with happy little yips.

It wasn’t Cayla he was afraid of - it was her appearance. A black wolf puppy everyone would call cute.

Everyone but him. Or people that shared his phobia. 

He never had been fond of dogs. If you’d ask Shinra you’d get to hear a funny story about a young informant hugging the top of a light post - trapped because of the dogs that barked at him from the bottom of it. 

━ Izaya hadn’t expected anything - messing around with some poor soul online on his phone - as the black shadow rushed over to him, giving him sounds of happiness with a wagging tail.

All he did though was dropping his phone and stumbling backwards to escape, abruptly enough to trip and end up on his butt. Sitting there like frozen he tried not to panic, showing an expression like a gun was pointed at him instead of having a wolf-pup right in front of his nose.

He never had have any problems with her small wagging tail or her soft black ears - he thought of those features as cute indeed and he loved to fondle latter. But this…

He never had seen her like this before. It must be her… right? Where else should a wolf come from? His voice sounded weird as he dared to speak up - scared and unstable.

“C-cay..la.. chan?”

[izayaori]

Amends

[izayaori]

Amends

[izayaori]

Amends

[izayaori]

Amends

[izayaori]

Amends

[izayaori]

Amends

[izayaori]

Amends

@caylathetimidwolf

“…”

If he was honest - he wouldn’t be surprised to be not very welcomed to the small girl he was about to visit.

It was a rather rare thing that the informant felt something like heavy regret and guilt like he did right now. Regret and shame for being horrible in the task of staying around and be there for her - even though he probably isn’t the best one you should have around.

First he wanted to write a simple short text message. But thanks to the little ounce of sense he had left he decided that he couldn’t give her that poor excuse of an apology - texting like the biggest coward in the world.

And now he stands here, nervous to even knock.

The little girl was basically the only one he really cared for. Of course he had other ones he did care for, but differently than he did for her. She was his friend - looking after him and trying to cheer him up whenever she had sensed that he didn’t feel well, no matter how much he pretended.

And he knew that actually that he was supposed to do that for her, being the older one afterall.

In short - he felt like the lowest piece of trash possible.

However - despite his nervousness he knocked, waiting for her to open but not giving her a chance to say something first. With a glance to the side - oh god, what a coward he was not even to look at her - he immediately started speaking, the guilt and nervousness clearly notable in his voice and whole behavour, appearing more like a pouting school boy than a man in his twenties.

“I would understand if you are mad… but I was wondering how you’re doing…” 

[izayaori]

Sleepless