ixmmii

[ixmmii]

74 days to go and 16 for me to complete my syllabus.

I am taking 6-7 hrs to complete a 2 hrs physics lecture and that needs to stop. I am progressing but a Avery slow rate. I am getting a feeling that I am not on the right track and it's killing me. I have figured out a few wrongs that I am doing.

No concrete plan follow through. Not completing my tasks. Taking too long, not yet started revision so studying all is just waste if not revised. Planning too big of a syllabus. Yet not started or completed anything in bio which accounts for 50% marks.

I will cut down physics lecture time to 3.5 hours max.

Biology full focus read for 7 hrs everyday.

Chemistry read understand and solve questions on that day itself. (Try 2 hrs after lecture.)

Now target for 10th Feb 2024

Biology - read LW CCD cell biotech - + solve all possible questions.

Complete hydrocarbons

Complete electro lect 5 + 6

.

[ixmmii]

89 days to go

By 1:01am I've completed only two things from my task. I am so scared but I know I can do this. March 15th I can complete everything with a little bit of revision and then revise the hell out of it for the next 15 days and the whole of April would only be tests and tests and tests.

I need to start solving more questions. I need to plan my time for revision and question solving.

Bio I will hold off till March 1 for questions.

Physics I will start from today - starting with electro recent dpps solved same day and gravi revision.

Chemistry I will start solving physical + dpps.

Organic only lecture + question in between is enough I will practice more in March.

This is a very big time table but I think I can do it and I will do it. There is no fucking going back now

[ixmmii]

89 days to go

By 1:01am I've completed only two things from my task. I am so scared but I know I can do this. March 15th I can complete everything with a little bit of revision and then revise the hell out of it for the next 15 days and the whole of April would only be tests and tests and tests.

I need to start solving more questions. I need to plan my time for revision and question solving.

Bio I will hold off till March 1 for questions.

Physics I will start from today - starting with electro recent dpps solved same day and gravi revision.

Chemistry I will start solving physical + dpps.

Organic only lecture + question in between is enough I will practice more in March.

This is a very big time table but I think I can do it and I will do it. There is no fucking going back now

[ixmmii]

Starting and getting on track for good now.

92 days to go for exam.

25 days to go for syllabus completion.

03/02/24

Target

Body, CCD, cell, LW BC - read/learn/revise.

Thermo - 2 lects.

Revise chem equib - 1/2

[ixmmii]

I have two goals neet and weightloss

For neet

I have to strictly strictly strictly adhere to my timetable that I have made and make sure I get everything done and time and revise and a decent my liking wala cllg is done.

For weightloss

Walk while studying, don't eat unless hungry, don't have junk food or anything unhealthy even if made at home, strictly follow '22 wala rules. Exercise in the morning the basic suryanamaskars and basic stretches bas all of that is enough to control and bring it down. Get sleep schedule in hand.

[ixmmii]

28 January 2024 31/40 days to syllabus completion.

I started a get 11th bio done challenge but I am behind by 2 days so yeah I can feel it going to shit. But but but I am going to work hard and pull all nighters to complete this shit this time around. I promise myself, I will complete biology + ionic + gravi + thermo by 1/2/24.

Today I am doing - body, cell, CCD, lw and gravi lect 2 + 3 hrs ionic. Until 9 am of 29th Jan.

[ixmmii]

I am so afraid of not being perfect that I will abandon stuff if it means I will save myself from the doom. Self sabotage queen I am.

I have 97 days from today to achieve my goal, I am a person who had to beg for the second second chance I have got to improve my life and what am I doing by it? Nothing. I am so freaking tired of all of this. Basically tired of me. Discipline is so hard for me right now. I will.gladly do unnecessary chores than study for my exam which if I won't pass I would have to do chores my whole life.

[ixmmii]

21/01/24 38/40 days

Yesterday I could complete only 2 lectures for goc. Shameful I know.

Today also was a restless day. I've been staying up all night and then having trouble studying in ge morning and the whole day is going as a waste.

I want to turn everything around, I know how and why do I lack the discipline, I know what to do but I don't know how to fix it.

I'm on the verge of tears now. I am at rock bottom.

I completed 2 lectures today and i should have completed the chapter till now.

Fuck

[ixmmii]

20/01/24 39/40 syallbus completion.

I didn't update. The last week was very disappointing in terms of studying and overall everything. My sleep schedule was completely fucked and constant fights with my parents didn't help. I was in executive dysfunction, I wanted to study but couldn't bring myself to focus, it took me 3 days to complete 1 lecture. I was doomscrolling yt shorts and yt itself.

I don't seek dopamine from actual things but digital media and that I my fault. Well the ex bf mess is completely sorted there is no turning back now for whatever reason.

I made a new timetable and I am trying to stick to completing atleast 75% of it.

Starting today I have to complete.

Full GOC which is like 6 lectures now I did 3

Basic concepts summary lecture to get ahead on revision.

Body fluids I've done half and ithe half is left.

Realistically I know that i can complete about 3 lectures of goc today with mole and fluids. I will do 3 tomorrow and adjust everything in my schedule accordingly.

105 days for exam from today.

For syllabus completion it's 39/40.

Again T=0

[ixmmii]

14/1/24

I did complete COM but because of the festival at my home today and my laid back mentality I count touch or start gravitation.

I just stretched today did not do yoga. I slept. I was up till very ate last night and that why I dozed off by 10 am only to wake up around 1pm.

I am really confused about my sleep pattern I can't help but think no matter what I do the day goes to a waste. If I sleep on time I cannot sleep dreading how I should be studying. When I am up i only get like 30 minutes of stuff done in 3 hours then I sleep and take a good 7 hour sleep because my eyes just won't open up. I am so confused and afraid now. It's 15th Jan now and I have to complete physics and start chemistry+ biology from tomorrow I'm gonna have to either pull productive all nighter or do one day at a time thing and ohmg also revise everything because completing the syllabus is not enough I have to also revise it to remember.

I need to let my ex go, I am so obsessive I download Snapchat every hour just to check if he's sent a snap or a text. I have such a bad relationship to social media because of him. But today is 15th and I am going to let him go today. I only have like 100 days to make my dream a reality I cannot be a loser. And have loser mentality. There's like 0% chance I'd us getting back together.

It's so funny how I don't want to get back together with him logically because there is no future but it's the only thing I cannot stop thinking about. And silly as it sounds I get sad when my day is going good and his thoughts haven't creeped up and I am busy in my stuff, I feel guilty and sad that hey maybe I am moving on when honestly that's what I should be doing.

One thing is clear feelings are a bitch and I cannot keep functioning based on my feelings, I need to function through discipline.

So today I will delete Snapchat app from phoen and not install it fir the next 45 days, same with Instagram.

I will start waking up early and getting about 5 hours sleep everyday otherwise I will have 0 retention.

Physics- thermo - 2 lect I will do

Chem - complete chem equib.

Make plan for remaining chem and phy chapters.

Get out books and notes for 16th schedule.

t=1

[ixmmii]

Hi.

This is a study tracking side Tumblr Blog.

My exam is in 110 days. And I have to rank higher than I have ever before to make it.

My goal is to update everything I did here, honestly truthfully and complete the targets I have set in my Google Calendar.

I want 2024 to be the changing moment of my life, I am 21 years old and I have been in a rut for about 4 years since I was 18 during covid.

From here this moment onwards the rut is coming to an end. I promise myself I am changing and will change for the better. I am going to trust in my system and know that they will guarantee my goal. I cannot bring back lost time but I am making my coming time the best.

Today is 13th January 2024 10:27pm IST.

Today's Target : Complete COM 3rd lecture and pull all nighter to complete gravitation until 12pm tomorrow that is 14th Jan.

All the best to me.

t=0